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Our Community / Re: Love and Memories
« Last post by handpuppets on Today at 12:09:34 PM »
Now, how are you going to continue to move ahead without him?  figure out your next forward move!

The first thing I did (this morning) was buy myself a ticket to a concert this weekend. He is the master at scoring concert tickets and I had asked him several times if he could keep an eye out for me for this particular show (along with the hope that maybe he'd like to go too). But no mention of it after our recent vacation and the concert is on Saturday night. So, now I'm going and didn't need his help. I'm also going to have dinner with my cousin and his family beforehand so it will be a fun night out. This is a big step for me. In the past, I would have not gone especially if that meant going by myself.

I don't know if he heard me and I am left wondering this morning if I am DONE. Though maybe he did hear me given how he reached out after I texted him yesterday. I do believe he was concerned for my well being but a guy friend said that he may also be scared that I am bailing out of the "relationship". I do feel more resolve this morning to look forward and fully detach.

Side note, he did buy us tickets to another concert for Tuesday night so we'll be doing that together as a family. I will keep those commitments. We are also supposed to do something for the eclipse on Monday morning.

He texted pics of D8 to our group chat this morning and sent me a message about the Barcelona attack. I haven't responded yet.
Our Community / Re: COOL HAND LUKE 5
« Last post by Watcher on Today at 12:01:50 PM »

I think you summed it up perfectly as to what I am feeling. I can't even get angry at W since we haven't seen each other since March 4th. LOL...Even the in-laws have only been seen 3 times since. So the 2nd floor is obviously off limits to me now but maybe that was the intended design which is fine with me. If she ever changes the locks then we have problems. It was initially her running away on Father's Day, then again last week.
I was like, I'm giving this woman incredible space and she is running from me ? WTF..

Thunder, that would be one interesting situation. What on earth would she do if I just came home. Hahaha. Yes, it sounds like they are trying to get through to her. Unfortunately, she has to come to that realization herself.

Gman, nothing that I do is going to change a thing. That is so true. I have everyone pulling me in different directions. I have the in-laws desperate to keep me in place. They are anchor checking. LOL... W is off in fantasy land. Husband who ? LOL.... I have a mom who is on my back everyday to see my son's. Go see your son's, don't let her behavior win Watcher. LOL...

Everyone tells me it's my house. LOL... I really feel like a visitor. I'm off today and we have been out and just got back. The kids always change my perspective. My youngest called out to me as 'daddy' and it was both so odd and yet reassuring at the same time. They both seem so well adjusted and I don't think it's ever been this easy to talk with them.  Maybe my leaving has brought the tranquility that I sought.

I want to look down the road.  :-\ Whah, whah, whah. I know that I have to focus one day at a time. I hate focusing on one day at a time.  ;) I want to see the final act already. Hahaha. I know, one day at a time. Ugh.

Thanks everyone
Our Community / Re: Tired of this
« Last post by Thunder on Today at 12:00:15 PM »
I know my X is not happier.

I just have to look how he lives to know that....and I would even wager he probably would not have gone through with the divorce if he had that choice today.

S66, you H is not going to be happier with this ow.
Our Community / Re: Finally able to breathe
« Last post by Seeshell7 on Today at 11:59:53 AM »
He doesn't need to be needed by me though?
What if in this past year,  he has fallen in love and this is his true soul mate and they are going to live happily ever after
Our Community / Re: Tired of this
« Last post by gman242 on Today at 11:51:49 AM »
I'm not surprised that people aren't happier after divorce, because they weren't happy inside to being with. Like we say on here sometimes, we were together for a reason, we got married for a reason and stayed together until the crisis for a reason. However, that reason wasn't strong enough to overpower the bad feelings they felt on the inside and they erroneously keep thinking that changing their external circumstances will change their internal ones.
Our Community / Re: Tired of this
« Last post by pacasam on Today at 11:46:41 AM »
But if you think about it how many of our MLC spouses think that their going for a divorce is mutual.  I know my H told his lawyer that before I even knew anything about it.
Our Community / Re: Love and Memories
« Last post by handpuppets on Today at 11:40:28 AM »
Ha ha, reminds me of right after H moved out, he was home with the kids while I went out one night and when he left, he told me if I needed anything to give him a call. I wanted to scream- I JUST WANT YOU TO WAKE UP AND NOT LEAVE!!!- I didn't. He's also said "I will support you (financially) as long as you need and, forever!!! He has defiantly recanted on that, although-for now- he is still paying most of the bills.

They are truly crazy. Sometime shortly after BD, Mr. HP told me that because of his decision to leave he would take all the debt; I believe we were having a conversation about the financial hit that happens when marriages split up and that he was putting me in a very crappy position (BD happened in the middle of the recession). As much as I would have liked for that to have happened, I had to remind him that we live in a community property state.
Our Community / Re: A Family of Selves
« Last post by serenity on Today at 11:39:07 AM »
I still have all my photos out, some of our wedding, some when we were all younger and the children small.

Quite a few people have told me 'it's time' to put them away but why should I? They're my family, my precious memories and to me, by putting them away it would be saying we hadn't had a good marriage and a lovely family!

Our Community / Re: Not merely to survive but to thrive
« Last post by KeepItTogether on Today at 11:27:02 AM »
Wonderful news about your son NoEx! It is so hard to let our children go--to allow them to fail or thrive. And finally, it looks like your son is choosing to thrive. That is huge b/c what a major hurdle to have to go through for him. It takes great strength. Must get that form his mama! ;)

Your evening with H sounds great too--comfortable.  I like that. been a while since I've felt that with mine.  I like what STL said about really enjoying those glimpses. That they are progress and need to be celebrated too.  Yes, he's probably still running a little. But he is also moving toward you at the same time.  :)
Our Community / Re: Stronger and At Peace
« Last post by 31andcounting on Today at 11:26:22 AM »
Good to read your positive updates Mending!

I can see that you feel grateful and that really helps doesn't it? Nice to hear it in your voice!

Glad your MIL and the kids are doing well.  continue just as you are and let him work through his crisis without you!

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