Can I just say that AmyC's tale of crying to sleep then waking up ready to brawl and get away with it is scary to read?
I guess many of us have seen this sort of thing or something similar but somehow, seeing it "on paper" is scary to me. What on earth is going on with these people? Did anyone else find it crazy?
Scary, yes. Crazy? Yes. I've seen my husband done it a bunch of times. It becomes enervating and upseting. There he is, loosing it and doing nothing to sort himself out. Then, magically, he comes up with “it’s all you fault, I want a divorce”, then he leaves and the world gets confirmation of OW1. No offense to anyone but when I think back to those times I found it pathetic. I could clearly see he was unwell, I knew OW1 was not going to solve anything – when she was no more husband admitted she had been a bad idea – yet, he carry on. And here we remain, with him somewhere in a tunnel some 6 years down the line.
HeyJude, What they present to the affair partner is a very charming person.
I can tell you that when my husband was exchanging correspondence with OW1, before and after their physical affair started, he was nothing but sweetness, sugar and wonderful with her. She got the very nice he, the man who wanted to be with her forever. She was the love he has been wainting for all his life. OW1 was stetting the tone of the “you’re wonderful my love, I’ve never meet anyone like you before”, coming up with all the dreams and plans and husband was going along.
By then I was suspicious of an alienator, husband was behaving weirdly. And he started getting nastier and nastier with me, he lied every time I asked him if there was someone else. With her he was more and more and more charming, a true gentleman.
I remained around for some 7 months since he left. From what I get OW1 got the nice he I always got the not so nice he. Since I have detached myself by late Summer 2008 and OW2 made her public appearance at that time, I have no idea how he manages to hide the less good side from her. I get monster via court cases but that is scarce and not direct.
Well, some of the relationships seem to last a long time and the alienator does not seem to find anything peculiar about the MLCer. I guess everyone in those relationships is into some sort of a fantasy.
To say the truth it amazes me how they manage to hide so well and make the mask last for years on end before so many people. Must be exhausting.
Kikki, I think it is different from you boss pursuing you. You were not up to it. In MLC affairs we have to willing parts. In fact two very eager parts. No, I don’t think our husbands always had been modest before was a cover up. No way they were going to manage it for decades. With us they did not need to have their armour in place. We were not the fantasy person they have gone after.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)