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Author Topic: MLC Monster LBS Stages 4  (Read 8276 times)

Offline MCSINME

  • Mentor: Barbiedoll
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  • Gender: Female
MLC Monster Re: LBS Stages 4
« Reply #40 on: January 12, 2018, 06:46:17 PM »
Is it possible to be in:

Denial
Anger
Depression
Acceptance

All at the same time?!?
Denial and acceptance are so opposite, not sure how I could be both at the same time, but in my heart I want to deny that things are so upside down, but in my head I accept that H is in MLC and I need to deal with the $hit associated therewith.

NO BARGAINING FOR ME!  I have no desire to plead, neg, negotiate or anything like that.  Because I understand that won't help anything.
M56
H57 - Live-in MLC
Met 1984
Married 1990
MLC Began after major move 12/2016
BD#1 EA 5/17 Found by accident, denial, lying
BD#2 EA/PA 11/17 Found by accident, still Denial and lying.  Currently at least one ow (39)

S16, S19, S22

"but those who have hope in the LORD will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint"  Isiah 40:31

Offline Mortesbride

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  • Posts: 639
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Re: LBS Stages 4
« Reply #41 on: January 13, 2018, 04:18:43 AM »
I tend to cycle between:
Anger ''F him and his BS''
Acceptance ''Nothing I can do but focus on me''
Positive ''it will all work out''

Offline MCSINME

  • Mentor: Barbiedoll
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  • Posts: 137
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS Stages 4
« Reply #42 on: January 13, 2018, 02:37:23 PM »
Bride:
That explains all your wonderful posts!
Keep focusing on yourself.  Your positivity is terrific!
M56
H57 - Live-in MLC
Met 1984
Married 1990
MLC Began after major move 12/2016
BD#1 EA 5/17 Found by accident, denial, lying
BD#2 EA/PA 11/17 Found by accident, still Denial and lying.  Currently at least one ow (39)

S16, S19, S22

"but those who have hope in the LORD will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint"  Isiah 40:31

Online Treasur

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  • Posts: 2056
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS Stages 4
« Reply #43 on: January 14, 2018, 02:11:25 AM »
Is it possible to be in:

Denial
Anger
Depression
Acceptance

All at the same time?!? Yup...we all cycle as LBS...over time, the cycles are less sharp and deep perhaps.

Denial and acceptance are so opposite, not sure how I could be both at the same time, but in my heart I want to deny that things are so upside down, but in my head I accept that H is in MLC and I need to deal with the $hit associated therewith.

NO BARGAINING FOR ME!  I have no desire to plead, neg, negotiate or anything like that.  Because I understand that won't help anything.

I think bargaining can be an internal thing too...if I do x, then y might happen or if I think x, then I'll feel better. It's a sort of post-traumatic mental jelly-wrestling really.  :)
BD - Oct 15, mostly silent vanishing husband, diagnosed with severe depression in Dec 15 & seeing psychiatrist/on ADs since then
OW since Apr 16, maybe earlier?
H filed Jan 17.
80/20 strategy for me in 2018

"her soul is fierce, her heart is brave, her mind is strong." R.H Sin
Grace is...Elegance, good will, unearned blessings, a prayer of thanks and how to address a duchess.
"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Offline MCSINME

  • Mentor: Barbiedoll
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  • Posts: 137
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS Stages 4
« Reply #44 on: January 14, 2018, 12:08:52 PM »
Treasur:
THanks for your thoughts.
I think self-bargaining is what we want to do, to the extent of i.e., if I don't ask a lot of questions, I won't push him father away.  Or - if I don't follow him on social media,
I will feel better. 

What I meant is that I won't bargain with him - if you come back...

M56
H57 - Live-in MLC
Met 1984
Married 1990
MLC Began after major move 12/2016
BD#1 EA 5/17 Found by accident, denial, lying
BD#2 EA/PA 11/17 Found by accident, still Denial and lying.  Currently at least one ow (39)

S16, S19, S22

"but those who have hope in the LORD will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint"  Isiah 40:31

Offline ChrissYAH

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  • Posts: 893
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS Stages 4
« Reply #45 on: January 17, 2018, 11:41:41 PM »
Update on what stage I've reached, met someone normal and am moving on  :)


 

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