Author Topic: My Story Divorced bc of MLC. Wife left me and the 2 kids, after 15 years together  (Read 2434 times)

Offline gman242

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My Story Re: Divorced bc of MLC. Wife left me and the 2 kids, after 15 years together
« Reply #20 on: October 04, 2017, 06:25:23 AM »
They tend not to like it when they have limits imposed upon them from reality. That's one thing I do know. I do think they sort of burn through everything they can use against you and they'll just cycle through it all to get a response out of you or anchor check.

Offline cplnortonTopic starter

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Re: Divorced bc of MLC. Wife left me and the 2 kids, after 15 years together
« Reply #21 on: October 05, 2017, 04:49:03 PM »
Well after blowing up my phone all week begging me to see the kids more.  I finally relented and sent her a message that she could pick them up when I go to the gym on Friday night and she could take them out to McDonald's or out to ice cream.

Then it was crickets.  She didn't want them on Friday night. She only wants them on Tues and Thurs.  I'm guessing the OM has something going on at those times. 

As many times as she asked this week and begged me to see the kids.  I started to think she might be changing.  But she had me fooled.  It was nothing new.  She only wants them when it's convenient for her.  So nothing has changed.   

Then this morning several people messaged me.  She changed her status officially on facebook to in a relationship with the OM#2.  She still had she was married until yesterday with our anniversary date.
 Even though she has been gone for over 6 months from the house, and been at least been through 2 men.

She has to be ashamed of her new relationship too.  Usually when you have a relationship change it posts it on your feed, so people can comment and like it.  But on hers it didn't do that. 

I know when I switched mine from married to divorced it asked if I wanted to hide it off my wall.  I clicked yes, bc I am ashamed of being divorced.  I think she did the same thing. 

I have a hunch that she might have been told to change it.  Or felt she had to change it.  She has been living with this guy officially for over a month.  And really she has been living with him for months.  He probably was like change your status from married to in a relationship with me and she did it as low key as she could.

If she wasn't ashamed of it.  She would have made it post and showed joy about it.  But she didn't make any comments on it at all.  And did it as quietly as she could. 

I hope she is ashamed of it.  She should be. 

« Last Edit: October 05, 2017, 04:57:09 PM by cplnorton »
Me   M  37
MLC  W  35
Mini bomb drop Jan 2017
Major bomb drop 3/5/2017
Sons 6 & 8
MLC moved out officially into OM #1 House on 4/17/17
Divorce Finalized 9/13/2017.  She gave me everything including the family home and Custody of the Children.
August 2017 Moved into OM#2 House.  :(

She filed Bankruptcy on 12/21/17.  she had 0 in debt when she left. 

Dec 2017, I finally threw in the towel.  I am no longer standing for her.  I now pray God sends me a wonderful woman to be a wife and mother to my kids. 

Link to 1st post:  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8967.0

Link to 2nd Post:  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9430.msg619177#msg619177

Offline Silver

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Re: Divorced bc of MLC. Wife left me and the 2 kids, after 15 years together
« Reply #22 on: October 06, 2017, 01:43:25 AM »
Hi cpl,
Yes they get us fooled time after time until we learn, little by little mate.
She might be ashamed based on what you told but then again their emotions are just all over the place w/o any logic in it imo so who knows. Don't monkey brain about it mate, no good for you.
About you being shamed b/c of D, I suggest you work on that, you should not let that feeling to stay as permanent. It is part of your life now and as you did nothing to cause it, no need for you to be ashamed mate.
But yes I know what you're talking about, I've divorced once myself and these things don't come easy or fast.

Stay strong mate, you're taking good care of yourself and kids, be proud of it.

"I've seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn't ever end even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new. That's what faith can do." Kutless

Offline cplnortonTopic starter

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Re: Divorced bc of MLC. Wife left me and the 2 kids, after 15 years together
« Reply #23 on: October 10, 2017, 04:57:33 AM »
Well something set her off.  I'm not sure what but she blew up my phone one morning and posted this on Facebook.  She even copied it and sent it to me.  I think someone said something to her.   I just ignored it bc I think she was trying to suck me into the drama.

But this is what she wrote.  It's so interesting to me the way she is demanding people not judge her and she is writing this on a position that isn't weak.  You can hear the narcissism as she writes this.  Its like a teenager throwing a fit. 

"Please fee free to delete me from Facebook if you feel the need to run to my ex husband or anybody else about my personal life.  As a human being, a grown up, and an adult I am entitled to my own life and my own happiness.  Just because I may have made decisions that people don't agree with, nor understand, doesn't mean that you can judge me.  Im sure this post will get sent to a specific person but what I'm asking for is privacy.  And if you cant give me privacy, I'm asking you remove me.  I mean this with love and kindness but don't take that as weakness."

Me   M  37
MLC  W  35
Mini bomb drop Jan 2017
Major bomb drop 3/5/2017
Sons 6 & 8
MLC moved out officially into OM #1 House on 4/17/17
Divorce Finalized 9/13/2017.  She gave me everything including the family home and Custody of the Children.
August 2017 Moved into OM#2 House.  :(

She filed Bankruptcy on 12/21/17.  she had 0 in debt when she left. 

Dec 2017, I finally threw in the towel.  I am no longer standing for her.  I now pray God sends me a wonderful woman to be a wife and mother to my kids. 

Link to 1st post:  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8967.0

Link to 2nd Post:  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9430.msg619177#msg619177

Offline gman242

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Re: Divorced bc of MLC. Wife left me and the 2 kids, after 15 years together
« Reply #24 on: October 10, 2017, 05:11:44 AM »
Probably.. and who gives a flying flip.  ::) Not worth the drama.

Mine did the same thing. I have a strong feeling it was her family, who happen to love me quite a bit. She retaliated by deleting me and my family from her FB, not hers mind you. Whatever.. lol crazy is as crazy does.

Offline cplnortonTopic starter

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Re: Divorced bc of MLC. Wife left me and the 2 kids, after 15 years together
« Reply #25 on: October 15, 2017, 12:25:55 PM »
Well after her little blowup on facebook the other day and she started to create drama with me.  I told her I was done and meant it.

Since then she keeps on trying to be super nice to me.  Just trying anything she can to talk to me and do "Nice" things for me.  Like saying she would continue to pay my insurance bc I need a minor surgery. 

I am ignoring most of it.  She even called me from a new number so I would answer bc she said she knew I woudln't answer otherwise.

You know I think it's driving her nuts that I told her I was done and didn't want anything to do with her.  But I really don't.  I'm tired of it.  I'm honestly finally detaching and I don't want any part of the drama and lies, and her screwed up fantasy life. 

I just don't care anymore.  I'm starting to get into the groove and I'm starting to become happy.  Maybe she can sense this and wants to try to keep me around for a backup, bc I don't think anyone who knows my exwife and knows this new Guy, think they have any chance of working. 

But right now I just don't care.  I'm taking care of my kids and focusing on myself.  But she has been trying to anchor check me all weekend and I think it's driving her nuts because I'm not responding.

But I'm finally getting to the place I'm happy without her and annoyed if she texts or calls me.  Maybe it's a cycle, but I'm feeling pretty decent honestly right now.
« Last Edit: October 15, 2017, 12:28:38 PM by cplnorton »
Me   M  37
MLC  W  35
Mini bomb drop Jan 2017
Major bomb drop 3/5/2017
Sons 6 & 8
MLC moved out officially into OM #1 House on 4/17/17
Divorce Finalized 9/13/2017.  She gave me everything including the family home and Custody of the Children.
August 2017 Moved into OM#2 House.  :(

She filed Bankruptcy on 12/21/17.  she had 0 in debt when she left. 

Dec 2017, I finally threw in the towel.  I am no longer standing for her.  I now pray God sends me a wonderful woman to be a wife and mother to my kids. 

Link to 1st post:  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8967.0

Link to 2nd Post:  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9430.msg619177#msg619177

Online CanLetGo

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Re: Divorced bc of MLC. Wife left me and the 2 kids, after 15 years together
« Reply #26 on: October 15, 2017, 07:54:53 PM »
Good on you Cpl, so good to hear you are feeling good, it’s good for you and great for your kids. I guess can’t be expected that you will always feel this way, even without MLC we have our moments, but more of this the better, happy for you 😊
Me 44
H 47
3 young adult kids
BD December 2013, left home August 2014
OW 17 years younger

Offline cplnortonTopic starter

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Re: Divorced bc of MLC. Wife left me and the 2 kids, after 15 years together
« Reply #27 on: October 24, 2017, 05:24:32 AM »
I haven't been on here much.  For the most part I've been doing pretty good.  I keep busy, and I got a part time job and that has helped a lot.

Today a friend wrote me about seeing something my Ex wife posted about her new bf on facebook, and even though I've been doing so good.  It did sort of bring me down and sort of hurt.  I just told him I don't want to know about it.

My ex wife still texts me some and tries to find reasons to call me on the phone, it's about the kids, never anything else.  But I just respond in very basic responses, or just tell her I can't talk to her on the phone. 

I've also noticed that when she has the kids, she has to call me.  IT's like she has them and maybe they remind her of me, because anytime she has them and can get away from the OM for a moment, she will text me or call me.  It doesn't make sense. 

I think it's very important to go no contact with a MLC.  I think unless you cut them off they will literally destroy you mentally and physically.  I know she hurts me everytime I have contact with her, and I don't think it does any good to try to save our relationship. 

The only other development we have had.  She now is writing me asking for the kids on tues and thurs.  The kids actually have school activities these nights.  So I said no.  Which she doesn't understand why I have the ability to tell her no. 

But I have countered with she can have them for a couple hours while I go to the Gym on Fridays.  But of course she doesn't want the kids on Friday because those are the days she goes out. 

So she said she is taking me to court for more time with them.  It was all a bluff.  Our child custody was just finalized a month ago.  She gave me full custody.  What is she going to say now, she changed her mind?  She wants them when its convenient for her and nothing else.   I am so glad I took her divorce offer of full custody and the house when she offered it in the beginning.  I think if we divorced now, she would have fought me for both.  So I think it's really important no matter how bad it hurts to take the divorce offer while they are feeling guilty and willing to give it all to you.

I'm also getting a lot of collection calls and certified letters being mailed to my address for her.  I just give them her forwarding info.  But she seems to owe  lot of people a lot of money.  She had 0 debt the day she left.  I can't believe how much financial problems she has put herself into. 

I would have lost everything I think if the divorce wasn't finalized so early.
Me   M  37
MLC  W  35
Mini bomb drop Jan 2017
Major bomb drop 3/5/2017
Sons 6 & 8
MLC moved out officially into OM #1 House on 4/17/17
Divorce Finalized 9/13/2017.  She gave me everything including the family home and Custody of the Children.
August 2017 Moved into OM#2 House.  :(

She filed Bankruptcy on 12/21/17.  she had 0 in debt when she left. 

Dec 2017, I finally threw in the towel.  I am no longer standing for her.  I now pray God sends me a wonderful woman to be a wife and mother to my kids. 

Link to 1st post:  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8967.0

Link to 2nd Post:  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9430.msg619177#msg619177

Offline Silver

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Re: Divorced bc of MLC. Wife left me and the 2 kids, after 15 years together
« Reply #28 on: October 24, 2017, 05:35:38 AM »
Hi cpl,

Good to hear from you and that you have been that good, great to hear about your part time job too.

I agree do not follow her fb site or anything else, only causes you more pain and does not help you detaching from her.
You have a new life now in which she is involved only as a mother of your children, that's how it is, regardless of how it will be in the end. Of course you need to go trough your own process related to D and everything happened and I am sure you are doing that but as a wise man you are keeping yourself busy enough not to stuck with it. Your kids are the best motivators for your process of course but you need to heal for yourself too and you will, mate.

The court thing, really sucks, sorry to hear about that. Still as you said yourself you played all your cards right when the game was on and protected yourself and your children. Give yourself credit for that!

Not easy road my friend but you are doing good, wishing a lot of strength in your journey.



"I've seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn't ever end even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new. That's what faith can do." Kutless

Offline cplnortonTopic starter

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Re: Divorced bc of MLC. Wife left me and the 2 kids, after 15 years together
« Reply #29 on: October 24, 2017, 08:28:16 PM »
Silver I always really appreciate your words of encouragement.  This is by far the hardest thing I have ever encountered in my life and I've been through a lot before.  But I always appreciate the fact that you take time to respond. 

I've noticed I'm not so angry at her lately.  The anger seems to be subsiding a lot.  I don't feel like I hate her anymore. 

I think I'm detaching pretty well.   It's a process though.  I do have times I miss her.  But they aren't very often and go away pretty quickly now.

I'm trying to focus on working on stuff around the house.  I love to fix and rebuild things.  It relaxes me.  So I'm doing a lot around the house and doing a lot on my cars.  I have a couple old muscle cars and I think I'm going to get the boys out there this winter and get them to work on them with me.  Some of my fondest memories of growing up were with my dad wrenching on a car.  So I hope I can do that with my boys as well.
Me   M  37
MLC  W  35
Mini bomb drop Jan 2017
Major bomb drop 3/5/2017
Sons 6 & 8
MLC moved out officially into OM #1 House on 4/17/17
Divorce Finalized 9/13/2017.  She gave me everything including the family home and Custody of the Children.
August 2017 Moved into OM#2 House.  :(

She filed Bankruptcy on 12/21/17.  she had 0 in debt when she left. 

Dec 2017, I finally threw in the towel.  I am no longer standing for her.  I now pray God sends me a wonderful woman to be a wife and mother to my kids. 

Link to 1st post:  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8967.0

Link to 2nd Post:  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9430.msg619177#msg619177


 

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