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Author Topic: My Story How Far is Rock Bottom?  (Read 3391 times)

Online nahTopic starter

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My Story How Far is Rock Bottom?
« on: November 16, 2017, 06:42:00 PM »

Old Thread:  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9425.0


How Far is Rock Bottom?

Of course I'm talking about the guy that use to be my husband.

Having one of those WTF days....  :P

So if you have been following my newly released spouse journey (not so new anymore) you will know that I have been laid off from my job yesterday (with a 6 month severance), today I turned in my leased BMW, and the closing of my house is the end of the month.  Then I plan on traveling for at least six months.  I'm shedding all of my material possessions except for a small amount of clothes and suitcases.  :D

Since I am selling my house, I rented an apartment for my mom (who has lived with me for about 20 years) and I rented a small house for my son (his girlfriend will pay utilities). 

Now The Leaver and I paid for our daughter's college and expenses when she was in college to the tune of over 60K, plus a free car and her expenses.  She didn't work while she went to school, we paid for everything.

Now it's our son turn.  He works part time and pays for his gas, food, pocket money for small expenses.  He had a late start due to depression and drug issues.  This past year he has soared, mentally, emotionally and physically.  I am in the clouds happy at how he has seemed to take control of his issues and is doing so great.  He went from high school drop out to getting his GED on his own (the same week his best friend/cousin died of an overdose) and now all A's in college.  I would have taken a hundred Bomb Drops if someone told me the tradeoff would be that my son would be doing exactly what he is doing right now.

Since we took care of daughter I strongly feel that our son should get the same treatment.

So I rented son a small house for him at $950.00 a month so he could concentrate on school and not have to work full time. 

If you remember, when The Leaver ran away he was making close to a 1/2 a million a year.  I'm sure the girl thought she hit the jackpot as she was in debt when they met.

At the time, He also promised if I kept the house (because I told him I didn't want the burden, this is a huge house and too much for me to take care of on my own) he would pay me $3000.00 a month in alimony for seven years PLUS take care of all the house repairs it needed PLUS take care of all the kid's expenses as they were too old for child support.... oh yes, it was all going to be fine.

Then almost 2 years ago he was fired due to illegal activities and unusual decisions including allowing the very young and inexperienced girl into meetings where she didn't belong.  She never left his side at the company, and it didn't go over well, not at all.  He was not only fired but blackballed from the entire industry. 

I was the first one he called.  You see, he could no longer pay my alimony.

He makes about 10% of his former income.  Since he bought them a big house with 5+ acres, new truck for him, new car for her, get her out of debt, etc, he quickly blew through his half of our retirement.  Not my circus, well,,,,... until I contact him to pay half of his responsibilities.

Four years ago he said he would pay for all of it, now I'm asking for half.  Not even counting the car I bought son, b/c The Leaver already said he couldn't afford that either.

Here's a short version of our conversation.....

"Hi, since my company is closing I would like you to put son back on your car insurance (when The Leaver lost his job I took over son's insurance without The Leaver even asking)

Initially he said yes, then a boatload of excuses due to the fault of the insurance companies  ::)

Then I said he could pay the insurance to me plus $475.00 a month for son's rent.  One check to me and I would take care of everything.

His response??

"Can't.... I'm not sure if I can even do the car insurance, I have a job interview with Home Depot today to help during slow times.  Real estate is not consistent.

A BIG FAT.... DUH  ( I didn't write that but come on, he didn't know that going in??)

And... Home Depot?  Hey, I have zero issues with an honest job no matter what it is, but he sure did... he thought he was just too cool with his big fat job that everyone should bow to his awesomeness... well, didn't Karma go up his @ss a mile high??

So I listed everything he shorted me over the last few years.... over 100K shorted me, and now he's taking zero responsibility for son's expenses so he can have the same opportunities as our daughter? 

The Leaver's response...

"He can live with me for free."

 ???  ... btw... for those that do not know, The Leaver's shiny new wife is YOUNGER THAN SON'S GIRLFRIEND!!!.... wouldn't most normal people find that,.. well, icky?  How would that living arrangement work?

I responded with, "He does not feel comfortable doing that for obvious reasons".

crickets.

Of course crickets, what else did I expect?  Still a child.
« Last Edit: November 16, 2017, 07:11:32 PM by nah »
H-52
me-50
ow-30
married 1986
BD April 6 2013 day after family went out for sons birthday.
I packed his bags two days later...vanisher

Offline No expectations

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Re: How Far is Rock Bottom?
« Reply #1 on: November 16, 2017, 07:25:58 PM »
Attaching,  Nah.  Wouldn't miss it.   Guess that karma bus is driving right over the Leaver  ;)
Married 10 1/2 years, together 17.  BD 9/2016, 2nd BD 10/16.  H moved out 10/16.  2 AS's from my first M.  Me 55, H 49.  OW 23.

"And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through; how you managed to survive.  You won't even be sure if the storm is really over.  But one thing is certain; when you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person that walked in...that's what this storm is all about."

"The trick is to enjoy life.  Don't wish away your days, waiting for better ones."

Offline Dumbfounded

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Re: How Far is Rock Bottom?
« Reply #2 on: November 16, 2017, 07:43:12 PM »
Attaching.... well it would certainly appear that you are the living better spouse. Jealous of your upcoming travel plans. All my favorite places.  8)
Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

Online nahTopic starter

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Re: How Far is Rock Bottom?
« Reply #3 on: November 16, 2017, 07:50:43 PM »
Attaching,  Nah.  Wouldn't miss it.   Guess that karma bus is driving right over the Leaver  ;)

Is it bad that I enjoy watching him squirm?

http://www.shaidsnews.com/images/icons/animated_dancing_girl.gif

Guess I'll have to live with being bad.  ;) ;D ;D
H-52
me-50
ow-30
married 1986
BD April 6 2013 day after family went out for sons birthday.
I packed his bags two days later...vanisher

Online Mae

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Re: How Far is Rock Bottom?
« Reply #4 on: November 16, 2017, 07:51:15 PM »
Great thread title.....there is probably a bit more to go for him to truly reach rock bottom, but he's doing a sterling job of it so far.
Me: 49
H: 40
S18, D15
Together for 19 years
BDay in 2004, 2011 and now March 5 2017
Ran away on 5 March BD
No OW
Returned home 'underdone' 1 July 2017.
Left again 22 October 2017.
H - Medicated & Zombie Like is NC

Online nahTopic starter

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Re: How Far is Rock Bottom?
« Reply #5 on: November 16, 2017, 07:52:35 PM »
Jealous of your upcoming travel plans. All my favorite places.  8)

Anyone can do it.  Imagine, plan, do....  :D
H-52
me-50
ow-30
married 1986
BD April 6 2013 day after family went out for sons birthday.
I packed his bags two days later...vanisher

Online nahTopic starter

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Re: How Far is Rock Bottom?
« Reply #6 on: November 16, 2017, 07:54:44 PM »
Great thread title.....there is probably a bit more to go for him to truly reach rock bottom, but he's doing a sterling job of it so far.

He has always been an overachiever.   ;D
H-52
me-50
ow-30
married 1986
BD April 6 2013 day after family went out for sons birthday.
I packed his bags two days later...vanisher

Offline bvFTD

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Re: How Far is Rock Bottom?
« Reply #7 on: November 16, 2017, 07:58:34 PM »
It's a f*cking nightmare we are all living.

New LBS: Immediately divorce your spouses. Make sure your attorney states they can't go back to court later once they've been fired or "let go" from their jobs because they then may receive permission to lower or end alimony and/or child support. Make sure your decree puts you first in line after the inevitable fallout: leins, bankruptcy and ruin.

The courts have not yet figured out what we are dealing with, but they will.

Love and strength, Nah. 

Online nahTopic starter

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Re: How Far is Rock Bottom?
« Reply #8 on: November 16, 2017, 08:09:26 PM »
So the messaging continued,... he made a simple task of switching the insurance into a big fire trucking complicated deal,,....so now I need to go to the DMV tomorrow to switch registration and such, doing this will make it even more expensive but it's what The Leaver wants so if he wants to pay more than he has to b/c he's stupid then so be it.... again not my circus.  At least he agreed to pay the insurance BUT....

He followed with this....

I don't have $595.00 a month to give you right now.

So I responded with...

You are not giving me $595.00 a month it's for son.  We fully supported daughter when she went to school now it's his turn.

He came back with....

"Nah" (I noticed over the years that he uses my name when he is pouting) I don't have it.  Daughter went to school when I was making a lot of money.  If it was now I wouldn't give it to her either. (yeah, right)  It's not one against the other.  I wasn't anticipating this expense.  I'm doing what I can to help.

Oh no... this following truth dart must have stung....

I guess I'll pay all of it since I'm the only one who is punished financially for your bad decisions.  I'm selling this house bc it too much of a burden for me alone, just like I said when you ran away from all your responsibilities then too.  If you're so broke, what about getting a smaller house?  What about your retirement?  You had no problem taking from it so you could buy a big house with how much land??

Big surprise....he responds to the hard truths with silence.

What a fire trucking coward.
« Last Edit: November 16, 2017, 08:14:40 PM by nah »
H-52
me-50
ow-30
married 1986
BD April 6 2013 day after family went out for sons birthday.
I packed his bags two days later...vanisher

Online nahTopic starter

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Re: How Far is Rock Bottom?
« Reply #9 on: November 16, 2017, 08:11:25 PM »
It's a f*cking nightmare we are all living.

New LBS: Immediately divorce your spouses. Make sure your attorney states they can't go back to court later once they've been fired or "let go" from their jobs because they then may receive permission to lower or end alimony and/or child support. Make sure your decree puts you first in line after the inevitable fallout: leins, bankruptcy and ruin.

The courts have not yet figured out what we are dealing with, but they will.

Love and strength, Nah.

Yep.  At the time I never imagined in a million years that The Leaver would ever lose his job.  He was a leader in his industry.  He did the firing, not the other way around.

Like we all say, if I knew then.....
H-52
me-50
ow-30
married 1986
BD April 6 2013 day after family went out for sons birthday.
I packed his bags two days later...vanisher


 

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