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Author Topic: My Story How Far is Rock Bottom?  (Read 3650 times)

Offline nahTopic starter

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My Story Re: How Far is Rock Bottom?
« Reply #20 on: November 17, 2017, 05:44:48 AM »
he was emailing me wondering why it was listed so high and insinuating that I pulled the wool over his eyes with the separation agreement. They are always the victim and we are always the bad guy. Poor people.

Oh Yeah, mine did that too.

Until I mentioned how in the last four years while I was working 60+ hours a week (and a LBS mess) and doing "normal" cleaning (four bathrooms  :P ) and yard work, I was on the roof cleaning gutters, cutting down tress with a chain saw after a big storm, taking care of the pool and gardens, sanding, painting, etc.

I admit I was the "Lucky Lady" as in the last two years my contractor boyfriend completed the "honey do" list that was growing instead of shrinking.  Plus he's a really good self proclaimed "cat butler", (I have 3 cats  :P ).  We have done massive renovations, all 4 bathrooms are brand new.

So I am having many bittersweet moments as we sell off the furniture one by one BUT I will not miss all the stress of having all this responsibility only in my lap.

However another karma stick for The Leaver, we appraised the house as having 80K equity during the divorce (b/c it was what I said at the time and he was too busy running to question)

I'm walking away with almost 250K
H-52
me-50
ow-30
married 1986
BD April 6 2013 day after family went out for sons birthday.
I packed his bags two days later...vanisher

Online Thunder

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Re: How Far is Rock Bottom?
« Reply #21 on: November 17, 2017, 05:50:22 AM »
Oouuu, that's Karma in a good way.   ;D ;D
With her permission, a quote from a recovered MLCer: 
From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did.

Offline KeepItTogether

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Re: How Far is Rock Bottom?
« Reply #22 on: November 17, 2017, 11:52:30 AM »
Home Depot. Wow. Quite a fall.

Me 46
H 45
S11
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo.

Offline Tyks

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Re: How Far is Rock Bottom?
« Reply #23 on: November 17, 2017, 12:45:40 PM »
Quote
     However another karma stick for The Leaver, we appraised the house as having 80K equity during the divorce (b/c it was what I said at the time and he was too busy running to question)

I'm walking away with almost 250K   

Yup, me too. The day after he left I had a realtor evaluate. There was about 100k equity. He accepted that as well because he was also too busy running. 14 months later, and several unfinished projects now finished, I have double the equity. But it was not pulling the wool over his eyes. It has been hard work and determination and lots of reliance on friends to get ready to sell. Now he complains and has his hand out but he has not once offered to come and get the plave ready for sale. He is still too busy running and now he wants that free ride. Unbelievable.
Me 48
Him 48
22 years together - Married 20
BD1 - August 26, 2016 - ILYBINILWY
BD 2 - August 28, 2016 - OW discovered EA - Kicked him out - currently separated
D15 D18

April 2017 - Legal Separation Agreement
August 2017 - I filed for divorce

Offline Treasure

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Re: How Far is Rock Bottom?
« Reply #24 on: November 17, 2017, 11:46:56 PM »
Attachingx

Online Treasur

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Re: How Far is Rock Bottom?
« Reply #25 on: November 17, 2017, 11:49:48 PM »
'Free ride' does seem to be an MLC thing, doesn't it? Along with whining about the consequences of your own (s$it) choices. How lovely that the karma bus decided to give you a dollop of cash in return for your hard work, nah.
BD - Oct 15, mostly silent vanishing husband, diagnosed with severe depression in Dec 15 & seeing psychiatrist/on ADs since then
OW since Apr 16, maybe earlier?
H filed Jan 17.
80/20 strategy for me in 2018

"her soul is fierce, her heart is brave, her mind is strong." R.H Sin
Grace is...Elegance, good will, unearned blessings, a prayer of thanks and how to address a duchess.
"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Offline ChrissYAH

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Re: How Far is Rock Bottom?
« Reply #26 on: November 18, 2017, 12:19:56 AM »
Maybe thats why the loon married the reject for a 'free ride' and a paid off home, he chose that over his family.

« Last Edit: November 18, 2017, 12:24:18 AM by ChrissYAH »

Offline riverbirch

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Re: How Far is Rock Bottom?
« Reply #27 on: November 18, 2017, 01:47:52 AM »
God these men make me sick.

Well Nah enjoy yourself.

Mine slept in his truck last night I believe up in the Wal-Mart parking lot. He left yesterday because i saw another woman's picture on his phone. No I'm sorry nothing. Instead it was my fault for looking in his phone. Screw that!
Me 51
H (whatever he is) 53
D for financial reasons March 2012
Started seeing massive change over the summer 2012
Left end of October 2012
Started coming home thanksgiving 2013
Home now. March 2014
Believe ow is gone
Probably going through this for years
OW discovered Oct.23,2013,old GF from before we met at the age of 16!
Left again Oct. 20 2015
Came back two weeks later
Still here 01/17 not done yet

Offline ChrissYAH

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Re: How Far is Rock Bottom?
« Reply #28 on: November 18, 2017, 02:00:03 AM »
Im thinking these men reach rock bottom when the karma bus collects them?

Offline No expectations

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Re: How Far is Rock Bottom?
« Reply #29 on: November 18, 2017, 03:42:51 AM »
Yes, Nah, you truly are the living better spouse!! 8)
Married 10 1/2 years, together 17.  BD 9/2016, 2nd BD 10/16.  H moved out 10/16.  2 AS's from my first M.  Me 55, H 49.  OW 23.

"And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through; how you managed to survive.  You won't even be sure if the storm is really over.  But one thing is certain; when you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person that walked in...that's what this storm is all about."

"The trick is to enjoy life.  Don't wish away your days, waiting for better ones."


 

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