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Author Topic: My Story Thread 24 - The More things change, the more they stay the same  (Read 1068 times)

Online Treasur

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My Story Re: Thread 24 - The More things change, the more they stay the same
« Reply #20 on: December 28, 2017, 01:44:40 AM »
Oh dear.....it's sad that they seem to channel their inner 'trashy selfie' King or Queen, isn't it? Part of the whole 'Fakebook look at me' zeitgeist, I guess....I think it's fair to say that most MLC spouses don't get a good makeover whereas, strangely, most LBS drop pounds, years and rock a new look in a great way.  ;D
BD - Oct 15, mostly silent vanishing husband, diagnosed with severe depression in Dec 15 & seeing psychiatrist/on ADs since then
OW since Apr 16, maybe earlier?
H filed Jan 17.
80/20 strategy for me in 2018

"her soul is fierce, her heart is brave, her mind is strong." R.H Sin
Grace is...Elegance, good will, unearned blessings, a prayer of thanks and how to address a duchess.
"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Offline The lighthouse

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Re: Thread 24 - The More things change, the more they stay the same
« Reply #21 on: December 28, 2017, 05:10:58 PM »
Attaching UM. 

What an interesting Christmas you had!  A real mixed bag in true MLC style.  ;) ;D
M 1992
BD June 2011
Still with OW - No legal action

I am the lighthouse. I don't go out into the storm after the ship.  The ship finds me.

Offline No expectations

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Re: Thread 24 - The More things change, the more they stay the same
« Reply #22 on: December 28, 2017, 06:35:20 PM »
Hi Ursa,

Sounds like a good Christmas,  all in all.  You made me hungry with all your fabulous dishes!

Glad w made an appearance,  albeit a short one.  May 2018 be kind, to all of us.
Married 10 1/2 years, together 17.  BD 9/2016, 2nd BD 10/16.  H moved out 10/16.  2 AS's from my first M.  Me 55, H 49.  OW 23.

"And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through; how you managed to survive.  You won't even be sure if the storm is really over.  But one thing is certain; when you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person that walked in...that's what this storm is all about."

"The trick is to enjoy life.  Don't wish away your days, waiting for better ones."

Offline UrsaMajorTopic starter

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Re: Thread 24 - The More things change, the more they stay the same
« Reply #23 on: December 29, 2017, 07:10:02 AM »
I think it's fair to say that most MLC spouses don't get a good makeover whereas, strangely, most LBS drop pounds, years and rock a new look in a great way.  ;D

I can totally agree Treasur... The Mid-Lifers usually look like 10 miles of Bad Road whereas the LBS (in my case) has dropped 10 kgs (still), went from a 36 Waist to a 33 (32 in some jeans!) and from 25% to 18/19% (sometimes even cracking into the 17.x% range...) body fat... I was forced (seriously! I didn't fit in much anymore) to revamp my wardrobe and got stuff again that I liked and felt good in rather than what Mid-Lifer said was good for me.... dropped the oversized "tent" type clothing and got stuff that is more fitted without going into the Teenie look - that was not easy!  Evidently, if someone has an inseam that is longer than their waistline is around, they must have stork legs and go for skinny jeans (YUCK!) Unfortunately, I had to send LOTS of  pants back as I couldn't get them over my legs or I could and they were fine at the waist but my legs looked like the trousers were painted on... NOT the look I was after, thank you...

Hi Ursa,

Sounds like a good Christmas,  all in all.  You made me hungry with all your fabulous dishes!

Glad w made an appearance,  albeit a short one.  May 2018 be kind, to all of us.

NoEx, it is just that I really DO like to cook for friends and for people who will eat it... It is sort of a hobby of mine and, in the house formerly known as "home,"  when we had the kitchen put in (houses do NOT usually come equipped with a kitchen in Germany) I had a few extras like an oversized stove, a refrigerator freezer that was bigger than normal and a separate oven . I wanted a steamer but Mid-Lifer couldn't be convinced.... Some of the recipes are from my family, some from MIL, and some I have found in various cookbooks or magazines that I have tried and adapted... Some things are a bit of a challenge now as my kitchen is significantly smaller in my apartment.

I would really like 2018 to be a better year for all of us... We've sure paid our dues this past year...
Me - 54
MLC - 47
Together 20 years - Married for 17 at separation
S - 10
D - 7
2 Canines (each of us has one)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold and separated - March 2016
No legal action to date

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline rosecoloredglasses

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Re: Thread 24 - The More things change, the more they stay the same
« Reply #24 on: December 29, 2017, 07:50:42 AM »
I loved reading your cooking posts, Ursa!  I also enjoy cooking but my H won't eat it and my kids are picky!  I hope to do more cooking in the new year!  Maybe we need a recipe thread.😊
M-43
H-52
D-12
S-8
D-4

Offline No expectations

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Re: Thread 24 - The More things change, the more they stay the same
« Reply #25 on: December 29, 2017, 11:17:46 AM »
Ursa,

I'm with you on the cooking and entertaining!   This Christmas,  I had 13 for dinner.  Made a standing rib roast, smoked turkey, ham, lots of sides.  I don't do desserts,  I leave those to my sister.   Buy it was a fabulous day!
Married 10 1/2 years, together 17.  BD 9/2016, 2nd BD 10/16.  H moved out 10/16.  2 AS's from my first M.  Me 55, H 49.  OW 23.

"And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through; how you managed to survive.  You won't even be sure if the storm is really over.  But one thing is certain; when you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person that walked in...that's what this storm is all about."

"The trick is to enjoy life.  Don't wish away your days, waiting for better ones."

Offline Dumbfounded

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Re: Thread 24 - The More things change, the more they stay the same
« Reply #26 on: December 29, 2017, 11:20:14 AM »
Late to the party. Survived my Christmas #2. Sounds like Christmas went well for you. 
Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

Offline FaithWalker

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Re: Thread 24 - The More things change, the more they stay the same
« Reply #27 on: December 29, 2017, 12:51:19 PM »
Another Christmas on the books.  I'm also praying for positive things for all of us in 2018.
M-39
H-42
S-17
D-15
S-12
Friends for 7 years before dating
Married for 14 years
BD 12/14/15 - 2 weeks after 14th anniversary
Divorce final 4/13/16
EA - 9/15-4/16
New GF 12/16
Engaged to her 6/17 (I found out 8/10/17)
Moved to her State 4 States away - 7/13/17
Engagement off 8/20/17
Moved back to our State 8/24/17
Joined POF within the first month back


Link to my journey: 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9711.0

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Never become a container for bitterness.  Bitterness is a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

"Sometimes -- some things have to break all apart so better things can be built."

Offline Shocked

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Re: Thread 24 - The More things change, the more they stay the same
« Reply #28 on: December 30, 2017, 07:49:39 AM »
 I’m glad Christmas was good for you. We strive to be better than the year before so I am very glad fir you about that!!! Sending you lots of happy wishes for 2018!!!
I care🤗
H 51
W 58
M 22 Years
2 AD both married from my first M
BD 12/15 moved out-in replay, vanisher, MOW in Atlanta
D 2/17

Offline UrsaMajorTopic starter

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Re: Thread 24 - The More things change, the more they stay the same
« Reply #29 on: December 30, 2017, 08:35:45 AM »
RCG - The Bear Cubs know that if they don't eat what I cook, there isn't anything else... OK, maybe a bread roll with some lunch meat but that is NOT Burger King, they don't get it their way... Especially when it comes to the holiday meals... I DO try to make things they like for the most part (I can do Spaghetti Bolognese while hibernating) but, if I am going to make an effort, they better well be ready to eat some of it...

NoEx, I'm coming to YOUR house next year! And I'll even help cook!

FaithWalker - I have to count on it being better in 2018... Last year was a challenge ...

DF - It was OK... Nothing breathtakingly spectacular but given the fact that Mid-Lifer is only 2 years into her crisis, that is to be expected...

So, a small rant...

I just got my Amended Tax Return back since Mid-Lifer FINALLY filed... and I have to pay about $900 back out of my refund.... I KNEW that would happen so I had kept most of it in savings but it just chaps my a$$... What is interesting (and a bit of the Karma Bus making a drive-by) is that most of her deductions were disallowed whereas almost all of mine were accepted.. Of course, I had the documentation for them so ...

And on the positive side and a firetrucking GREAT way to start the new year and potentially a new life (or at least a new phase of it) - I have just made my FINAL payment on my Grad School Student Loan! After shelling out about 32K$ I am done paying it off! And in "only" 12 years instead of 20.... THAT will be worth lifting a glass to tomorrow night... !
Me - 54
MLC - 47
Together 20 years - Married for 17 at separation
S - 10
D - 7
2 Canines (each of us has one)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold and separated - March 2016
No legal action to date

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.


 

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