collapse-peacocks
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Author Topic: My Story Thread 24 - The More things change, the more they stay the same  (Read 936 times)

Offline Savoir Faire

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3754
  • Gender: Female
My Story Re: Thread 24 - The More things change, the more they stay the same
« Reply #40 on: January 05, 2018, 09:47:57 PM »
I'm more shocked that the German Tax Department is working this early in the New Year ;D

"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8451.80 (Denjef's thread)

Offline UrsaMajorTopic starter

  • Moderator
  • *
  • Posts: 4833
  • Gender: Male
  • You can't please everyone, you aren't a pizza
Re: Thread 24 - The More things change, the more they stay the same
« Reply #41 on: January 09, 2018, 05:39:25 PM »
I'm more shocked that the German Tax Department is working this early in the New Year ;D

No kidding....

MLC Answer was "Well, you'll just have to wait next year until I file so that doesn't happen again..." Uhmmmmm ... NO... Filing is supposed to be done by end of April. Since we are both employed by companies, the government KNOWS that they will owe us so they are quite content to keep our money.. I have, however, NO desire to wait until October or so to file... I'll just do it the right way and keep the money in savings until she gets her poo in one sock and gets her part done...
Me - 54
MLC - 47
Together 20 years - Married for 17 at separation
S - 10
D - 7
2 Canines (each of us has one)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold and separated - March 2016
No legal action to date

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline Thunder

  • Moderator
  • *
  • Posts: 15013
  • Gender: Female
Re: Thread 24 - The More things change, the more they stay the same
« Reply #42 on: January 11, 2018, 04:20:47 AM »
Hi Um,

How are you and the kiddo's doing?  Are they still with you?
With her permission, a quote from a recovered MLCer: 
From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did.

Offline ember

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 278
  • Gender: Female
Re: Thread 24 - The More things change, the more they stay the same
« Reply #43 on: January 12, 2018, 09:58:36 PM »
"Poo in one sock".... I love that!!!

Offline UrsaMajorTopic starter

  • Moderator
  • *
  • Posts: 4833
  • Gender: Male
  • You can't please everyone, you aren't a pizza
Re: Thread 24 - The More things change, the more they stay the same
« Reply #44 on: January 15, 2018, 06:57:07 AM »
<yawn - streeeeetch - poking my nose out of the bear cave>

Saturday night was the first night in 2 weeks with no kids.... D's Birthday Party was on Saturday starting at 15:00 so I spent Friday making her cake, getting the drinks, plates, cups, decoration, and then Saturday morning making the goodie bags for the guests with S (D stayed with W Friday night) and I then spent Saturday evening doing not much of anything at all... had a long text conversation from a friend from church about retro music ("Retro being 1980/90's) but, other than that, it was VERY VERY quiet.

Today was the first day back to real life and that was a challenge - the kids were used to going to bed late and getting up later so getting them to bed last night at a decent hour (yes, they stayed with mom one night and then they are back with me last night and tonight) was a challenge and getting S's happy rear end out of bed this morning even more so... But Dad wins int eh end ... I just finally yanked the covers off and said that he had 30 minutes to get dressed and eat and if he wasn't ready, well, I'd just take him to school in his undies... (Now, keep in mind, I had been going in and waking him up every 5-7 minutes for nearly half an hour at this point... ) and it was AMAZING how fast he appeared at  the breakfast table. In the end, we made it to school on time for him and all was well...

D's B-Day Party was a hit (If you recall, last year at her party, W said that "we needed to figure out how we would do the D" and I said that SHE needed figure out how SHE was going to do the D because I was NOT going to help her, I wouldn't stop her or stand in her way but this was her action and her choice so she needed to do it... Since then... crickets) and I made sure that my bases were covered. A friend of D's had HER party on Wednesday and her mom asked if I would stay for the party because she needed help. Seems her ex is a wanker (he is - I got to experience him first hand - my MLC Radar Warning system was flashing red alert) and is about as useful as a screen door in a U-Boat... Much like My Mid-Lifer was last year... so I asked friends mom to help me and she did... I think that unnerved Mid-Lifer a bit because friends mom is really a nice lady and not unattractive.... Anyway, Mid-Lifer was helpful and friends mom was a big help if for no other reason than a 3rd set of eyes keeping tabs on 11 6 & 7 year olds...

Although I have a serious Cootie infestation, Mid-Lifer even initiated some physical contact during the party... I am guessing to "mark her territory" (HA!) so I am guessing she was feeling a little insecure... Now that the party is over, I am back to being the CootieMan but that is fine... It was a bit unnerving and not in the least bit enticing although my LL1 is touch... I guess that says a lot of where I am in this process in a sad kind of way... But, well, that is the chance the Mid-Lifer takes when they leave...

Kids are with me again tonight and then with mom for 2 days (at least...)  When I went to get them last night, (Mid-Lifer was helping S with a presentation he needs to do this week, she could not get us gone fast enough and was vacuuming around the house....I also noted that several of her lights are not fully working anymore so I guess she has forgotten how to change a light bulb (actually, I used to do that all the time so she might seriously not know how) but, since she was in sweats, I doubt she was planning on doing any lavish entertaining last night after we left. She had just had 4 kids (S, D and 2 of D's friends) spend the night so I am sure she didn't get much sleep....

And that is the state of life in the Bear's Den at the moment...
Me - 54
MLC - 47
Together 20 years - Married for 17 at separation
S - 10
D - 7
2 Canines (each of us has one)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold and separated - March 2016
No legal action to date

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline Thunder

  • Moderator
  • *
  • Posts: 15013
  • Gender: Female
Re: Thread 24 - The More things change, the more they stay the same
« Reply #45 on: January 15, 2018, 07:07:22 AM »
Oh my God that "useful as a screen door in a U-Boat" comment made me laugh.   ;D

I think it was good your W saw you were getting help from a lovely, not unattractive, woman.  Made her sit up at take notice for a minute, anyway.  Ah, these Wallowers... ::)

Party sounds like it was a success.  You are such a good dad, UM.
Your w better start taking more notice before someone else does.

Just sayin'....
With her permission, a quote from a recovered MLCer: 
From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did.

Online Never say never

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3050
  • Gender: Female
Re: Thread 24 - The More things change, the more they stay the same
« Reply #46 on: January 15, 2018, 07:24:54 AM »
Oh, Thunder, you took the words right out of my mouth.

I couldn't have said it better.  Of course, not, Thunder, you ALWAYS say the right thing!  Haha!

Thanks for taking the time to come out of your bear cave, UM, and thanks for making me laugh early this morning with your GIFs.  I forgot whose thread they were on, maybe FW?  But anyway, it started my morning off on the right foot!!!

You are an amazing dad ... I hope you really know that ... and your wife is losing out big-time.  So sad.

Online Treasur

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2056
  • Gender: Female
Re: Thread 24 - The More things change, the more they stay the same
« Reply #47 on: January 15, 2018, 07:47:45 AM »
UM...I love you...am immediately adding 'as useful as a screen door on a U-boat' to 'Bat-Snot Bonkers' in my UM Dictionary  ;D
BD - Oct 15, mostly silent vanishing husband, diagnosed with severe depression in Dec 15 & seeing psychiatrist/on ADs since then
OW since Apr 16, maybe earlier?
H filed Jan 17.
80/20 strategy for me in 2018

"her soul is fierce, her heart is brave, her mind is strong." R.H Sin
Grace is...Elegance, good will, unearned blessings, a prayer of thanks and how to address a duchess.
"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Online Puzzled

  • MLCer Type: Low-Energy
  • *
  • Posts: 312
  • Gender: Female
Re: Thread 24 - The More things change, the more they stay the same
« Reply #48 on: January 15, 2018, 12:15:22 PM »
UM, good to hear an update from you!  I was happy to read that you had a female, "not unattractive" helper at your daughter's birthday party and that your W may have felt a bit uneasy about it...  ;)
Me: 46 (43 at BD1)
H: 52 (48 at BD1)
D: 9 (6 at BD1)
Met in 1995, married since 2000
BD 1: August 2014
BD 2: October 2015, moved abroad

Offline Anjae

  • Subscriber, 12 Month
  • *
  • Posts: 13194
  • Gender: Female
Re: Thread 24 - The More things change, the more they stay the same
« Reply #49 on: January 15, 2018, 04:11:42 PM »
"... as useful as a screen door in a U-Boat ..."  ;D

You're a great dad, Ursa. Your kids are very lucky to have you.

Regarding the taxes. If filling is until end or April, if you fille by October, will you be fined?

Deductions are complicated with a MLCer. Mr. J and I have been (still are?), legally married for years on end, but since we are separated and filling separated taxes, we cannot claim the spefic married deduction = we lose money.  ::)
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)


 

Legal Disclaimer
The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.
Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.
This disclaimer is also included in the Forum's Registration Agreement.