Author Topic: My Story  It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward  (Read 508 times)

Offline barbiedoll

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My Story Re: It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward
« Reply #10 on: January 03, 2018, 06:50:57 PM »
Following along..hope you are feeling better and any conversation is positive !
Married April 1985
5 children
Bomb Drop April 2013
Thrown out of house August 2013
Affair discovered November 2013 (i guessed who)
Home December 3 2013
The Journey Of Reconciliation .. is for the brave .

Anger is like a candle in the wind ... it blows out the light of all reason.

Offline KanvanTopic starter

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Re: It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward
« Reply #11 on: January 04, 2018, 02:34:38 PM »
Thank you Faithwalker and Barbiedoll. I appreciate you both :)
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

You'll search for me inside of everyone you're with and I won't be found." R.H. Sin.

M-48
H-46
S27,S21, S16
Married 12/10/1994
23 years of marriage
BD- June 22, 2017 Moved in with OW-June 24th, 2017
Standing for my marriage

Offline KanvanTopic starter

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Re: It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward
« Reply #12 on: January 12, 2018, 09:15:45 AM »
Hello All,
Wanted to drop a few lines about how things are. Last Sunday I received a text from H asking me how far would I go to save us? He said that I have not asked him to come home or shared my feelings and he was wanting to know. He stated that he was not doing very well and he had to make some choices and only he could make them. He went on to say that she kicks him out all the time and then when he comes back she exiles him to teach him a lesson but she can do whatever she wants. He stated he is the only one working and he has no money. I told him that he knew where I stood and that I would love for him to come home but he also knew what I expected. He told me that he loved me and knew that I loved him due to me sucking things up and dealing with it for the last six months. He also told me that pondscum has a hate list of all the things she hates about him and it is growing. I told him that he had to make the changes to leave and want different. He told me that he was fixing to make some changes and he wanted to give me a chance to talk about me and him. I told him that the door was open for him to come home but he knew the rules. He told me that he would be seeing me soon and for me to keep in touch with him. So, I am not sure what is going on but I hope that the  relationship is on a downward spiral. He did mention that it was just about washed up. Not sure what is up but hoping and praying he wakes up. I had an interview Thursday and it went well but there again we shall see. Hope you all are doing good. I am getting ready to start my last semester of college and trying to keep walking forward and praying that H will come to his senses. Big hugs to you all!!
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

You'll search for me inside of everyone you're with and I won't be found." R.H. Sin.

M-48
H-46
S27,S21, S16
Married 12/10/1994
23 years of marriage
BD- June 22, 2017 Moved in with OW-June 24th, 2017
Standing for my marriage

Offline Dumbfounded

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Re: It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward
« Reply #13 on: January 12, 2018, 10:33:09 AM »
Following along.....
Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

Offline KeepItTogether

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Re: It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward
« Reply #14 on: January 12, 2018, 11:03:02 AM »
Oh boy KanVan. My guess is you are only hearing the tip of the iceberg when it comes to H and pondscum. Sounds like it is sheer he!! Over there in schmoopyland. Doing great my friend.
Me 46
H 45
S11
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo.

Offline Mae

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Re: It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward
« Reply #15 on: January 12, 2018, 11:11:36 AM »
Hey Kanvan,

Keep doing what you are doing, taking care of yourself and moving forward. Sounds like there is still a bit of work your H needs to do, just because his OW option is not working out, doesn't mean that he looks at you as option 'B' and to be fair that is what it sounds like to me. It would be good for him to work out the underlying issues he needs to face that has nothing to do with either you or OW and in that sense living on his own for a bit might give him time and space to do that. Turning to you to unload about OW is not a good look, it makes you think what he's said to her about you.

And also this:

He told me that he was fixing to make some changes and he wanted to give me a chance to talk about me and him.

I may be taking this the wrong way, but he's giving you a 'chance' to talk about the relationship.....like you have something to prove, or need to convince him of something. Should be the other way round.

Hugs Kanvan, continue on, leave him to it, note his actions...at the moment it's just talk.

Me: 49
H: 40
S18, D15
Together for 19 years
BDay in 2004, 2011 and now March 5 2017
Ran away on 5 March BD
No OW
Returned home 'underdone' 1 July 2017.
Left again 22 October 2017.
H - Medicated & Zombie Like is NC

Online Treasur

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Re: It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward
« Reply #16 on: January 12, 2018, 11:55:52 AM »
Well, he's definitely "thinky"....you sounded like you were calm and consistent about your boundaries, K...guess we will all wait to see if "thinky" converts to "do-ey"  ;)
BD - Oct 15, mostly silent vanishing husband, diagnosed with severe depression in Dec 15 & seeing psychiatrist/on ADs since then
OW since Apr 16, maybe earlier?
H filed Jan 17.
80/20 strategy for me in 2018

"her soul is fierce, her heart is brave, her mind is strong." R.H Sin
Grace is...Elegance, good will, unearned blessings, a prayer of thanks and how to address a duchess.
"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Offline KanvanTopic starter

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Re: It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward
« Reply #17 on: January 12, 2018, 01:05:25 PM »
DF, thank you for following along  :)
Kit, I love the term schmoopyland. :) I am thinking that the sunshine and rainbows is a thing of the past since reality set in.

Mae,  I thought about that, you mentioning the things he told her about me as well as the he should be convincing me about our relationship. I am just leaving it in the Lord's hands and time will tell. Actions speak far louder than words. As you said, it is talk as of right now.

Treasur, love the thinky converting to do-ey :) that is so true.

Thank you all for your continued support and encouragement. I appreciate each of you.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

You'll search for me inside of everyone you're with and I won't be found." R.H. Sin.

M-48
H-46
S27,S21, S16
Married 12/10/1994
23 years of marriage
BD- June 22, 2017 Moved in with OW-June 24th, 2017
Standing for my marriage

Offline Schratz66

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Re: It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward
« Reply #18 on: January 12, 2018, 06:58:07 PM »
Sorry Kanvan - only now found your new thread. Didn’t mean to drop you like a hot potato:)
Hmmmm - OW has a hate list ? Wow - she is a classy one, isn’t she?
And the poor  H has no money —- awwww —— he made his bed- too bad it’s not comfy.
You know all we want is for them to come to their minds and regret and come home.
But, I am not sure he is really ready to come home or if he is just out of money with no place to live ???
I don’t want you to be his back up plan and then him running off again.
You know him better than anyone Kanvan, so if you think he is ready and has changed, then go for it.
But I would make it a condition that there would be absolutely no contact with pondscum ever again.

Glad to have found you again my friend. You sound amazingly strong and I am so impressed.
Hugs.
Me 50
H 49
AD 20 from previous R
Known H since 1993
Together since 2000
BD 06/21/2017
OW High School Sweetheart lives 4 hrs away

Offline Savoir Faire

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Re: It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward
« Reply #19 on: January 13, 2018, 01:32:46 AM »
Attaching
"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8451.80 (Denjef's thread)


 

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