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Author Topic: My Story HOPE, FAITH AND MUCH NEEDED KNOWLEDGE  (Read 845 times)

Online 1trouble

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My Story Re: HELP MY HUSBAND CALLED AND WANTS TO TALK ABOUT MOVING FORWARD-D
« Reply #20 on: January 10, 2018, 01:25:03 PM »
Ok Hope

Firstly I am presuming you mean divorce and if that's right then this is my advice.

I know you are frightened but don't be ......because this is script

a lot of people in mlc see it as the answer for their unhappiness

you see when they start to feel unhappy with themselves its usually when they are at home so they associate the home and their marriage as being the problem....it isn't.....its them....but it takes a long time for them to reach that conclusion


so in your H's head he thinks if he gets rid of his marriage he gets rid of the depressed low horrible feelings he has

What you have to do is remain calm, I know that's a BIG ask but hear him out, be calm and totally non-emotional

He will be happy because he thinks he has the answer, the part of his brain that would normally be working when discussing such gut wrenching emotional stuff is totally gone atm so he will be on some sort of high.....because he thinks he has just found the secret to his own happiness

so just hear him out and don't react no matter how much you want too
you NEVER know how strong you are, until being strong is the ONLY choice you have"

As long as your husband is still alive, God and the Universe, have a thousand ways to bring him back.

It all begins in your mind.
What you give power to has the power over you.

IF YOU LET IT!!

Offline FearNot

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Re: HOPE, FAITH AND MUCH NEEDED KNOWLEDGE
« Reply #21 on: January 10, 2018, 01:25:22 PM »
Hi Hope,

Sorry to see you here. I am pretty new myself so I don't have any words of wisdom for you as to how to deal with tonight. But I am thinking of you and it is terrifying to go through. The veterans should be along soon with some sound advice! Hugs!


Edit - threads merged - OP
« Last Edit: January 10, 2018, 01:32:40 PM by OldPilot »
M 46
H 39
No Kids
Married 5yrs, Together 11yrs
BD Oct 31/17
ILYBINILWY Dec 21/17
2nd BD- Dec 27/17
OW-Confirmed Jan 3/17

"It's ok to be scared. Being scared means you're about to do something really, really brave." Anonymous

Online hope2018Topic starter

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Re: HOPE, FAITH AND MUCH NEEDED KNOWLEDGE
« Reply #22 on: January 10, 2018, 02:05:18 PM »
I DO NOT WANT A DIVORCE!  I received a text from him asking if I would like to share an attorney he has a meeting on Friday.  I don't think he will be stopping by to talk as he is using the cowardly way out.  I did respond to his text with a No Thank You and then did not respond to his 2nd text.

I just changed the keypad to our garage door opener as he has been coming and going as he wishes in our house.

I am thinking I need to not take calls, texts and just to be out of sight.  Agree?

He seems to have his mind made up- I am scared,  Should I contact an attorney now?

Thanks for the support and hugs!

Online OldPilot

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Re: HOPE, FAITH AND MUCH NEEDED KNOWLEDGE
« Reply #23 on: January 10, 2018, 02:07:49 PM »
He seems to have his mind made up- I am scared,  Should I contact an attorney now?
ABSOLUTELY - THE BIGGEST BADDEST ONE YOU CAN FIND

Online hope2018Topic starter

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Re: HOPE, FAITH AND MUCH NEEDED KNOWLEDGE
« Reply #24 on: January 10, 2018, 03:29:21 PM »
My H listens to my D23.  He was abandon by his mom at the age of 4.  His step mom adopted him 1.5 yrs ago.  His dad died 8 yrs ago and had not dealt with it.  I read up on covert depression,  Since he listens to her and she works in the medical field, what is your thoughts of her telling him he needs to check that out and get help?
« Last Edit: January 10, 2018, 03:31:32 PM by hope2018 »

Online OldPilot

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Re: HOPE, FAITH AND MUCH NEEDED KNOWLEDGE
« Reply #25 on: January 10, 2018, 04:19:43 PM »
what is your thoughts of her telling him he needs to check that out and get help?
You should stay out of it IMHO.

He is unlikely to listen and with MLC doing the opposite of what you think is right is usually the thing to do.

Online Thunder

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Re: HOPE, FAITH AND MUCH NEEDED KNOWLEDGE
« Reply #26 on: January 10, 2018, 04:42:45 PM »
Hope, do nothing!

Do not meet or talk to him.

Let things settle down.  Tell him you are not ready to talk yet, you need time, then take that time.
There is no rush.  Turn your cell off.

Keep calm for now.

Just try to relax for tonight with no calls or texts, from anyone.  Just have quiet.
With her permission, a quote from a recovered MLCer: 
From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did.

Online hope2018Topic starter

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Re: HOPE, FAITH AND MUCH NEEDED KNOWLEDGE
« Reply #27 on: January 10, 2018, 05:20:42 PM »
what is IMHO?

Thanks everyone I am in panic mode and do need quiet time with the kids and myself!

Online OldPilot

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Re: HOPE, FAITH AND MUCH NEEDED KNOWLEDGE
« Reply #28 on: January 10, 2018, 05:26:05 PM »
what is IMHO?

Thanks everyone I am in panic mode and do need quiet time with the kids and myself!
IMHO = In my honest opinion

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10.0

Online hope2018Topic starter

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Re: HOPE, FAITH AND MUCH NEEDED KNOWLEDGE
« Reply #29 on: January 10, 2018, 06:15:08 PM »
Thank you OP!

Do you feel I should be in no contact at this time?


 

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