Recent Posts

Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 10
Our Community / Re: Ups and Downs, but hoping for more Ups
« Last post by sampsed on Today at 11:40:14 AM »
Find a positive have almost a yeAr down. You are now a full year cliser to the end.  Dont look back...look forward. Dig deep and overcome
Our Community / Re: Ups and Downs, but hoping for more Ups
« Last post by stillbaffled on Today at 11:38:47 AM »
Hey, S66. 

At 2.5 years post BD I still sometimes find holidays a struggle.  I'm sorry that this one is a trigger for you.  You have every right to feel discouraged and sad.  I think you know that you'll get through it and that you'll start back up the hill. 

Sending support and encouragement.   
Sea.  Thank you.  Sil is the least of my concern.  H is still undecided if he wants to go.   

66. It is in you.  Just believe and know you have the power of choice. You can let things get you down or choose to make a difference. I choose happiness. I choose positivity. I choose what is bezt for me. You have the same power. I have seen it in your posts. Just helieve in you.
Our Community / Re: Ups and Downs, but hoping for more Ups
« Last post by seahorse on Today at 11:30:46 AM »
S66:  Welcome to your new thread... Attaching.

You didn’t fool yourself.  You ARE doing SO MUCH better than you were.  That’s why it’s a RCR because MLC is full of ups and downs.  You are cycling down, as you know.  That doesn’t mean you’re not doing well; it just means that it’s a difficult time for you. 

Keep letting go, and think about how much stronger you are than you were.
This is my month (weekend) of finding out (proof, not just suspect) of an EMA (EA).  This is a pretty hard weekend for me on many levels...  I’ll be thiking about you, and hoping for your cycle upward soon and a good Memorial Day weekend.

Keep up the great work you’ve been doing. 
You do sound amazing Sampsed  - if only you could toss me a handful of your peace and wisdom.
You are doing and saying all the right things and keeping marvelously positive in spirit.
Our Community / Re: Look for the small stuff and survive each day
« Last post by baf on Today at 11:24:34 AM »
Thanks so much Anon...that it exactly what I will do.  I will extend the invitation and have no expectations either way.  Thank you!
Our Community / Re: Surviving
« Last post by Schratz66 on Today at 11:22:09 AM »
Our Community / Ups and Downs, but hoping for more Ups
« Last post by Schratz66 on Today at 11:21:16 AM »
Time for another thread....
Hard to believe that last year I was still blissfully happen for three more weeks. Little did I know that this holiday weekend he ran into OW and my bliss would only last theee more weeks.

The last few days had been more positive so I am struggling to be cycling down. Hoping it’s just this Anniversary trigger.  The stabbing physical pain is back and the nausea and the panic that this is my life now.
I can’t believe it’s been a year since I kissed him, held him and smiled at him. It seems like it was just yesterday. This raw hurt open again, me missing him with every fiber of my being.

Did I fool myself into believing I was doing better ?

Previous thread
Our Community / The hills and valleys
« Last post by stillbaffled on Today at 10:55:59 AM »
If you're one of my groupies you'll remember that at the close of my last thread we were gearing up to have a fabulous pole barn party complete with a hot dog and lemonade stand! 

Dumbfounded wants to drive the combine that's still on my property. 

Nah wants everything that's still here to be listed on Craigslist.  I think she wants me to have funds to travel all over the world visiting forum friends.   ;)

I have a couple weeks of school left and then the text will be sent.  The text that tells Mr. Hider MLCer that he has XX amount of days to get his things removed from my property.  After said date they will become mine.  That pole barn is either going to be dismantled and removed trailer load by trailer load or it's going to remain here with me as a beacon of the strength that every LBS possesses.  In seven days the clock for MLCer will begin ticking....... 8)

I'm 2.5 years from BD.  Several people in RL had recommended a Divorce Care class to me that first year.  I looked into it because there had been folks here that had posted about attending the sessions.  For those of you that don't know about them it is a 13 week program where you meet once a week, usually in a church.  It is a scriptural based program with a DVD component, workbook and discussion group.  My church doesn't offer one but a church 25 miles from me does one every year.  I wasn't ready that first year.   I let the second year go by as well.  When the session was offered again this March I decided to enroll.  I have two weeks left. 

I am the only member in the class that is currently divorced.  Most of them are in the divorce process and a couple are separated and really seem to not have any idea what their spouse is going to do.  What I have found through the course, is additional confirmation that something just batcrap crazy happened to my husband.  I don't share much of my story there because I give my share of talking time to others who are in the gut wrenching and painful process of divorce.  Most of them have children still in school so are trying to co-parent with their STBX. 

But the interesting part is that with all they share most of them have what I would consider to be the typical divorce story.  The things I have shared have the facilitators and the rest of the class looking at me with looks of confusion and disbelief.  In fact, I think some of them might even think I'm there to just liven things up a bit with outlandish and unbelievable tales from an unknown land. 

After week three one of the female facilitators texted me and asked if she could buy me dinner one evening so she could hear my story.  She said I wasn't sharing enough in class and she just needed to hear more.  So, off we went to dinner and three hours later we left the restaurant with her shaking her head and saying, "Wow.  Just wow." 

Anyway, I don't know why I rambled on so about Divorce Care but if any newbies are reading this it might be something you are interested in looking into.  Last week's session was on forgiveness and very good but I already knew I wasn't there yet.   Hopefully I'll get there someday.  I have my good friend, time, to help me get there. 

I miss my old life.  It's gone and I can't get it back.   I continue to take a day at a time.  I try to be thankful for all that I have and I work hard to live life staying true to myself and my values. 

Most days I'm on the top of the hill, but I know I'll always have days where I'm in the valley. 

Thanks for continuing on with me.  Stay tuned for the continued saga of the pole barn.   ::)

Link to last thread:;all
Our Community / Re: More Good Wolf for a Good Life...
« Last post by Philadelphiagirl on Today at 10:15:00 AM »
Hey T, sorry about that email. Following along and sending support. I love that Milly "That is not normal. Even a psychopath knows to pretend to be nice." My IC has often compared my H to Ted Bundy!

Love and support, PG xxx
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 10
SMF spam blocked by CleanTalk
Legal Disclaimer
The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (, and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.