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21
Our Community / Re: my spouse has moved out
« Last post by Mitzpah on Today at 04:18:47 PM »
Intown28,

I merged your threads into one - I hope that is ok :)

It is easier to follow your story like this.

I am sorry you find yourself here, on the other hand, you will find a lot of support and good advice.

Please let us know a bit more about your marriage - why do you think this is a MLC?

22
Our Community / Re: New Here and it's Already Helping... I Think!
« Last post by Brokenagain on Today at 04:10:51 PM »
The crying is the worst..I always try to go somewhere my S can't hear me. Sometimes they are just tears..
But I look at my S and think Thank god for him...Thank god that he is mine. Then I can smile..H hasn't asked about him at all.
S doesn't care...

Have fun having someone cook for you..Relax and just enjoy the moment..We have to learn to be in the moment...That's what I'm practicing...

Hugs
23
Our Community / Re: I don't know what happened ...again
« Last post by Brokenagain on Today at 04:05:09 PM »
I find it weird how your own emotions and moods change within minutes. I was at that point where here we go again..He isn't replying..
Maybe seeing me yesterday did something to him. He actually had to face me. I know that he got my text. Maybe because I showed no emotion
in my email or text to him I don't know.
I find it even funnier that he stood in front of me and told me he would continue running...he had no emotional connection or emotions for OW. I know that he loves me with all his heart. I do..I will always be Queen :) I have 22 years...She has mentally unstable, gonna run, gonna run, gonna drink, doesn't give a crap about anything but himself and he will shove her to the side as well...Just give it time...it will fall apart...affairs that start on lies and deceit unfold..When will the fantasy come to reality? Cause I wanna watch when the cover comes off of OW...
But then as I'm walking to my vehicle after work, my mood started to change..Hey I thought to myself..its the weekend..I don't have to think about work for 2 whole days. I can just do what i want to do...Then another epiphany...Wait a minute..What he is going through is what he needs to go through..He needs to find himself and who he is..Maybe the way he did it was NOT the way to do it. Maybe his choices were that of not understanding, the lying the deceit the choice of the OW (gag!). He's running..He is going to continue running..He hasn't been a "man" so to speak in 22 years other than working..I mean ya we had a great time being together and doing things together etc etc..But he really didn't have a "individual life" of his own..I did everything, I enabled him..He is a decent man, his choices are wacky...REALLY wacky..But I would have to agree to a point. Maybe he is doing us both a favor. (sheesh don't tell him that) Maybe this was supposed to happen so I could find out who I really am..What type of life I want to live now that there are no little ones..Maybe this is my adventure..Maybe this IS my new Chapter..Of the new me...
I can't blame him for wanting to find out who he is or wanting to live his life. I get that..Remember though - I don't excuse the choices he made or the OW he decided to wrap his mentally unstable brain with..But then again one Disorder deserves another..
This is the place I am at right now...It might change by night fall...the emotions, the anger..Up and down..
I think if I could just get an agreement on the finances..I would be in a better place..
I don't like the monster...But maybe that's when I put on the cheesy face and just smile...
So he didn't reply...a few days ago I was a basket when he wouldn't ..Now i'm just like meh...ok...
I'm not going to go NC...but I'll go what do they call it ...kinda sorta in the middle...dim or dark....not sure..
But don't hold your breath...lol this may change in an hour and you'll get the other Broken back...the whiny weepie one...

24
Our Community / Re: If you love something, set it free....
« Last post by 1phoenix on Today at 04:03:51 PM »
Great Uncle news.

Glad to be able to help someone. 

****Personal Opinion To Follow****
This place can become very depressing, if you let it.  At times there is so much support for people.  Thinking back to the big blow out about Never and the moderators board, there is something that has always stuck with me.
Why blow smoke?  Why support someone when your opinion is not supportive?

Haven't we all, in real life, gotten enough of false feelings and miscommunication?  Why do we have to be afraid to speak our true position? 

Heck no, everyone is not going to like it.  However, it may encourage growth or self reflection and lead to a new perspective.  Or even let someone see that there truly are steps out of the pit...it is not bottomless.

Throw out that monkey in your brain Hope!  Each time he knocks, tell him to go away.  You have been at this too long, come too far, been so patient and even friendly that I can not sit here and let you start spinning yourself crazy.

Not when I check in.

Hugs to you,
1p
25
Our Community / Re: Left behind, sort of
« Last post by Kitkat23 on Today at 03:58:14 PM »
I’m in the minority in the fact that my H hasn’t and isn’t having an affair ( I am certain of this) and even he has rewritten history. At times he has rewritten our entire 17 years together, all my fault of course. Afair or not they rewright as I suppose it helps them to justify to themselves what they are doing.

Don’t try and make to much sense of anything they say or do as you will never really get an honest answer and it will mess with your head even more. Just try and take each day as it comes and look after yourself.
26
Our Community / Re: my spouse has moved out
« Last post by MCSINME on Today at 03:55:28 PM »
IT28:
I'm not sure what your question about finding MLC is, but I'll give you some additional information.

Please type using the return often so as to break up your thoughts.

Please let us know more about your marriage/family.  Your age, H age.  Any other issues before now? 
Is this his first episode of physical abuse?  You obviously forgave him enough to let him come home, but physical abuse is pretty much a deal breaker for many of the people on this site.
Did you get counseling?  Did he work on the issues leading up to the physical abuse?

Old  Pilot will be able to simply point you to the articles and book chapters.  I tried, but too confusing.

Keep posting, there's always someone on to answer your questions or just be with you.

MCS

27
Our Community / Re: I don't know what happened ...again
« Last post by Thunder on Today at 03:49:23 PM »
Broken, slow down for a minute. Breathe.

Your H is in a crisis, which means pay no attention to what he is saying right now.  He has no clue what is happening to him, which is probably scary for him.

Just relax.  It may not be a great idea to meet with him so soon.
Maybe tell him to look over the paper you sent him and you can get together soon to discuss it.
28
Our Community / Re: New Here and it's Already Helping... I Think!
« Last post by Standing Still on Today at 03:45:49 PM »
I want you all to know that if you have attached to my thread, I prayed for you by individual name last night.  It's all I feel I can offer y'all right now.  I am certainly in no position to be offering advice, but you all have my concern and my prayers and my gratitude.

H just came to pick up our kids.  D went happily.  S hugged me six times before I finally had to force him to walk out the door.  My heart is breaking.

I have cried a lot off and on today.  School was cancelled due to flooding in our area, so the kids were home with me.  I tried not to let them see me cry, but I was caught once.  I hold it together pretty well these days, but today, I just miss my family.  I miss knowing that my kids were secure and happy.  I hate worrying about them all the time.

For a few months, when H would come in/over, he would hug me.  He would ask questions or speak.  Now that he has to pick them up from my parents' house while our temporary trailer is being improved, he will hardly make eye contact.  He hasn't tried to hug me in weeks.  He doesn't speak.  He just concentrates on them.  On the other hand, I have stopped speaking unless spoken to and I don't look at him either.  Should I?  I am confused about the dim/dark thing.  I feel I was brighter than spotlights for awhile, so I backed off.  How is he supposed to see anything attractive in me if I am staying silent?  Not rude silent, just passively uninterested.

My best friend since we were 13 years old is cooking me dinner tonight and I am going to go just hang out with someone who always has my back and just be me for awhile.

Thanks to all of you... you bless so many.
29
Our Community / Re: my spouse has moved out
« Last post by intown28 on Today at 03:43:45 PM »
I also feel that I need to leave him alone and not be needy on him and tell him how much I love him ..........I need to start focusing on my daughter and me.............I just feel hurt that he would of slept with someone else
30
Our Community / Re: my spouse has moved out
« Last post by Thunder on Today at 03:41:44 PM »
Aw intown, I did the same thing when I first came here.  I had to be told by these wonderful people to stick to one thread.  It's ok, you'll catch on, just reply to your original post.  It's easier to follow along with you on one thread.   :)

We can lock the other one.

Big Hug, sorry you are going through this.  We'll try to help you get through this.
You're in the MLC forum now.  Just keep posting.   :)
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