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91
Our Community / Re: Thread 30 - Taken By The Wind...
« Last post by stillbaffled on May 26, 2018, 06:08:02 AM »
Catching up on your journey, UM. 

Is your summer trip with the cherubs all organized?  If I remember correctly you're off on some lovely island adventure. 
92
Our Community / Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 4
« Last post by Reallytrying on May 26, 2018, 05:35:44 AM »
Thanks All. S probably deserves all the credit. He is the most steady and dedicated kid I have ever seen.

Yesterday H sent me an article about a lady we know back home who’s being charged with fraud. This woman is a long time friend of his family who turned her back when his dad needed help. We had a good chat about her transgressions coming to light - this is her second charge this month. Soon after that he forwarded me an email from his aunt discussing his grandmothers estate and what he stands to inherit. I am fascinated by how transparent he continues to be with me about money.

Later d shows me a pic of OW. They obviously were out to dinner and he posted stuff on Snapchat. This is first he’s posted of her in many months. I was kinda hoping she was on her way out but.....  She is remarkably unattractive - I truly don’t get it. Not to mention that based on the time he would have been chatting with me about old family friend and grandma’s will while on his way to have dinner with her?

I guess one positive here as I mentioned to handpuppets is seeing the picture didn’t trigger me into any anger or anxiety spiral. I looked at it shook my head  that he would choose her and then went about my evening. I did feel annoyed that she is still around and annoyed at myself for wanting to keep standing.
93
Our Community / Re: My Story Isn't Over Yet 2
« Last post by FamilyIsMyGoal on May 26, 2018, 05:24:42 AM »
oh, FN, that totally sucks.  It really sounds like they are all a mess though, leaving relationships , jumping into new ones, I mean, how does one do that?!  I can't imagine right now getting into a new relationship until I process all that happened in this one.  I guess for some people it really is just pain killers.  I don't get that.

Take good care of yourself.  Sometimes, it's just getting through the day.  Lots of prayer helps me.

Golf isn't my thing either, but it's always good to make new friends. The more social I am, the better I tend to feel. 

Lots of love to you.  You deserve the very best! 
94
Our Community / Re: The Sun II
« Last post by 1phoenix on May 26, 2018, 05:13:10 AM »
Oh Mae,

Yes we have similar timelines, but mine has been gone 18 months, not 8.  I have the perspective of almost an entire year more.   You my friend are doing fine.  It takes time
 
Living with someone who has depression, even much more severe depression, takes a toll on YOU.  This is something that I believe you do not know until you step out of it.

Honey, that void, that hole in your heart, that empty feeling in your chest, that part of you that is just sitting in your body, will fill back up.  If you allow it and do the work, it will fill back up with you! 

I still have my moments, but that is all they are now, moments.  Mae, you have the same strength. All you need to do is look for it and let go of the anger.  I truly mean it when I say pity him. If you have pity and compassion for someone who is so incredibly sick, you leave yourself no room for anger. 

Here for you my friend
1p
95
Our Community / Re: The Sun II
« Last post by hopeandfaith on May 26, 2018, 04:46:01 AM »

At the moment I'm feeling angry....not ragingly angry but a pissy kind of contemptuous anger, a simmering just under the surface anger because his silence doesn't let me see anything but his abandonment of his family.......if I could see any sort of struggle, pain, grief.....then perhaps anger would give way to compassion and pity. As I said I'm a bit stuck on these emotions, on H's silence......ideally I would be able to shift my focus with eyes firmly on me and moving forward. I give myself leeway in this regard, allow myself to feel whatever it is I'm currently feeling (and hey I'm just so glad I moved off sadness and grief....what a drag that phase was!) as a process towards acceptance and moving forward. My eyes are not totally fixated on H, they are more switching back and forth between where he is or my imagination of where he is and where I am at present and where I want to be. In time my eyes will stop flicking backwards searching for H, in time my eyes will remain focused on my life and family right in front of me.....but I'm not there yet. It's been 8 months since he left......I think I'm doing ok.


Very well put Mae.  I am here too I think.  I want to see H's pain right now so I know I am not the only one in pain but then I think I would soften more than is good for me.  Breathe in, step forward, breathe out, step forward.
96
Our Community / Re: My turn!!
« Last post by serenity on May 26, 2018, 04:40:18 AM »
You are spot on there h & f,

The way our H’s are, they are of no use to us or anyone else!

I always respected and looked up to my H but not now. I half pity him and am half still angry.

I know it’s hard for them to climb out of their shabby lives and takes lots of courage and strength but I still can’t believe our decent H’s remain in their swampy lives!

Hugs

X
97
Hope you have a lovely w/e Milly.

I love where you are and H and I were always going to return there but of course it never happened!

I still hope to visit again at some point.

Like you said it doesn’t seem to matter what a MLCer has to be grateful for or where they live, once they’re on that crazy train, there’s no stopping it.

I was always grateful for the life we had, our children and beautiful home. I would never have jeopardised any of it.

But as I’ve said before my life is so much better than H’s. I have a lovely home and soon to be moving to another, my friends, children and family times (which I totally love) and my job which I love.

My life is safe and secure and apart from usual family stuff, no dramas. I wouldn’t swap my life with any MLCers!!

I haven’t seen one yet that ends up with a great life or happy

X
98
Our Community / Re: My turn!!
« Last post by hopeandfaith on May 26, 2018, 04:28:56 AM »
Thank you Serenity.  I hope your house plans are still coming along.  I must re-check your thread to see if I have missed anything.

I am sorry for the back and forwards you have experienced with your H too.  As much as it hurts when they run away like scaredy cats, I am well aware that we DO NOT want someone that weak and wobbly in our lives either.  They're just wrecking balls when they are in crisis.
99
Our Community / Re: My turn!!
« Last post by serenity on May 26, 2018, 04:24:56 AM »
Hello H & F

Poor you - you are so strong it must be so hard not to just have a wobble and a few tears.

You’re doing the right thing by changing things up. I don’t think it makes much difference with what we do with regards to our MLCers but it doesn’t hurt to shake things up a bit

Well done and keep up the good work

X
100
Our Community / Re: The Positives XXI
« Last post by serenity on May 26, 2018, 04:21:35 AM »
Hello dear friends,

So lovely that you’re all joining me for what’s hopefully my next phase in my soon to be (hopefully) new home.

mitz your weather sounds hot to me! He he. I don’t think I’d cope with your normal heat!! Hugs dear friend and thanks so much for the link up X

Lovely to have some new faces stopping by...

No expectations, what a fabulous place to live. I woke up to foggy and humid today but hopefully we’ll see some sunshine later X

Milly my cooking frenzy was mad! I made lots of different meals to freeze and give to friends and family and then yummy muffins - gooey chocolate, cherry and also banana ones! I do love cake! 🤣X

Good morning UM - I hope you’re having a lovely w/e? X

It’s a bank holiday w/e here in the UK so I’ll be seeing friends and family to keep busy

Hugs to you all

X













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