Author Topic: My Story Crazy Train to Nowhere - 3  (Read 3274 times)

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Offline ReallytryingTopic starter

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My Story Crazy Train to Nowhere - 3
« on: December 22, 2017, 05:45:01 AM »
Quick Recap:
Married 8/98
2 kids - D-15, S-12
BD 9/13 - "I no longer want to be married"
Moved out 8/14
OW discovered - 7/15, PA with former secretary


It's been almost 2 weeks since I posted an update.  I have had a horrible cold and been generally feeling pretty run down for almost 10 days.  If you've been following me then you know that it's been a busy few months work wise. Gratefully I survived the semester and now have a week off before heading back next year.

H is still cycling pretty close.  He reaches out and makes connection most days - usually about things that are not logistical.  He traveled quite a bit for work as well.  Last Saturday D was babysitting. When she came home she commented that her and H had been texting.  Discussing my gifts and just chitchatting in general. She mentioned wanting to get something else for her boyfriend but not knowing what. He apparently helped her search and eventually ordered a shirt for boyfriend that he found.  She was pleased that he had taken so much interest.  This week she gave him back the money and I suggested to H that maybe he shouldn't take all of it, subsidize the gift a bit and he agreed and handed her back some.  Presumably he was with OW so it was interesting to see how much he was engaged with D.

Tuesday of this week I was out working so called D to arrange to order pizza for them.  She commented that her and D were going shopping for some of my Christmas gifts.  He had apparently texted her earlier in the day to ask if she wanted to go that evening.  A bit after that H texted "S is headed out too - I'll feed them".  I was glad for the text. Instead of heading straight home I did some errands and some last minute Christmas shopping.  They got home at about 8:30. H made a comment about whether I had bought the extra string of lights we needed for outside.  I had.  He got up and went outside to put them up.  He then changed the battery in the garage door opener because I had commented earlier that day that it was giving trouble to open.  He left soon after that - then came back because the lights outside went out some came back to fix it.  It was odd - he honestly did not look like he wanted to leave.

Wednesday when he came over I was standing in the kitchen.  He poked his head in and said I needed to move because he wanted to bring a box in that I couldn't see.  He then went upstairs and called D up to "explain" the gift to her.  She commented later that night "Dad is crazy".  She said you'll see when you open the gift how thoughtful it is and it was completely his idea.

Last night D and I went to a concert.  S was supposed to spend the night with H so that he wasn't here alone.  H is pretty busy with work so I think S thought he'd be sitting there doing nothing.  He said he wanted to stay here so he could play video games. I was pretty nervous about leaving him alone for that long. H said he thought it was fine.  He texted to say he was finishing up some work and then would come over.  So he came and hung out with S here for most of the evening.  He texted when he left to let me know he was leaving.  At that point the concert was over and we were on our way home.  S commented that he and H watched a movie.  H texted me that night about something he was watching about a basketball player I like telling me I should watch it I would find it fascinating.

In the midst of all this we are selling our rental house so have been texting a great deal as we negotiate a contract.  And also as we try to figure out how new tax laws will impact us.

Old thread:http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9438.0
« Last Edit: December 22, 2017, 05:47:32 AM by Reallytrying »

Online CanLetGo

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 3
« Reply #1 on: December 22, 2017, 06:02:45 AM »
Good to hear how things are going RT, hope you’ve shaken your sickness now, and enjoy the break. Nice to hear things going well with H, intrigued to hear what the gift will be!
Me 44
H 47
3 young adult kids
BD December 2013, left home August 2014
OW 17 years younger

Offline heroIam

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 3
« Reply #2 on: December 22, 2017, 08:36:50 AM »
Hi RT.
Following along....my friend.
“In the end, you’ve got to be your own hero because everyone’s busy trying to save themselves.”

Offline ReallytryingTopic starter

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 3
« Reply #3 on: December 22, 2017, 08:42:44 AM »
Thanks guys

I also meant to mention that the dog got into the trash can in the kitchen. I came downstairs and trash was on the floor. I sent the pic to H with some expletives 😂😂😂. He replied with “you need a new trash”. Then that evening he came over and I saw him looking at the trash can. He commented that he had some weights he could put on the lid so it would be harder for the dog to open it. He’s supposed to be doing that this weekend.

31 - you mentioned inviting him home. I’ve given it lots of thought. I think I might be willing if I knew OW was gone. As far as I know she’s still around. Of course, I have no window into their relationship but she’s still in the wings.

Offline No expectations

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 3
« Reply #4 on: December 22, 2017, 09:08:50 AM »
RT,

Hope you're feeling better!  Glad to hear that h is continuing to reconnect.   

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas!  Can't wait to hear what he got you!
Married 10 1/2 years, together 17.  BD 9/2016, 2nd BD 10/16.  H moved out 10/16.  2 AS's from my first M.  Me 55, H 49.  OW 23.

"And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through; how you managed to survive.  You won't even be sure if the storm is really over.  But one thing is certain; when you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person that walked in...that's what this storm is all about."

"The trick is to enjoy life.  Don't wish away your days, waiting for better ones."

Offline handpuppets

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 3
« Reply #5 on: December 22, 2017, 11:19:43 AM »
Attaching; hoping that this is the Christmas that brings him home for good. 💜
“Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.” -Anne Lamott

Offline MourningDove

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 3
« Reply #6 on: December 22, 2017, 01:35:19 PM »
The end of the semester is always so draining. Take care of yourself and relax.  ;)

Offline 31andcounting

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 3
« Reply #7 on: December 22, 2017, 05:00:39 PM »
Attaching!
Hurting people hurt people :(

Offline ReallytryingTopic starter

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 3
« Reply #8 on: December 22, 2017, 09:54:04 PM »
Tonight I was wrapping presents. It was about 7:30pm and he comes over. I was surprised because it was pretty late and we’ve seen him every day this week. He comes in and he and D head to her room to wrap my gifts. I was also finishing up my wrapping. D pointed out to him that he had one of the “big” gifts under the tree. He picked it up and shook it trying to guess what it was. It was nice to see him playful.

He was watching tv with D then he put something on that he watched last night and had been texting me about. We watched the profile of a basketball player I like. We moved on to watch another athlete profile before he got up to leave. It was almost 11 at this point. Before he left we talked about a piece of art his sister bought me in Europe. He indicated that he’d fix it for me so that it can fit in the frame I bought (trying to save the price of custom framing).

D’s Boyfriend came over tonight and they were going to exchange gifts. He asked me for help wrapping her presents which I did gladly. So sad to me that he doesn’t have a mom in his life to help with those types of things. He told her later that tonight was the best night of his life. He came and gave me a hug when he was leaving. Made me realize that even though things aren’t perfect here there is so much to be grateful for.


Offline The lighthouse

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 3
« Reply #9 on: December 23, 2017, 01:46:36 AM »
Following along RT.
M 1992
BD June 2011
Still with OW - No legal action

I am the lighthouse. I don't go out into the storm after the ship.  The ship finds me.


 

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