Author Topic: My Story Crazy Train to Nowhere - 3  (Read 3273 times)

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Offline ReallytryingTopic starter

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My Story Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 3
« Reply #100 on: February 13, 2018, 02:39:36 PM »
Mitzpah - as tough as these few years have been I also don’t regret marrying H. I wish it had turned out differently but we had 22 great years before MLC and we share 2 beautiful kids.

Offline The lighthouse

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 3
« Reply #101 on: February 13, 2018, 04:09:32 PM »

I don’t get why he’s so secretive. I literally ask no questions. I only care in so far as it affects the kids. I don’t want to hear details.


Quote
The cycling can be quite frustrating. As soon as you get used to a new normal it switches again
.

I hear you RT! ::)

Depending on your criteria of “bad childhoods” my kids would qualify since their dad had MLC and walked out. I would certainly hate anyone to advise their children to run screaming from my children based on that fact alone. 

There may be many who had bad childhoods who had MLC there are also many who do not or who actually work through their issues and have productive lives.


I don't think a bad childhood should condemn a person forever.

Absolutely agree with you both RT and Mitzpah.
« Last Edit: February 13, 2018, 04:11:15 PM by The lighthouse »
M 1992
BD June 2011
Still with OW - No legal action

I am the lighthouse. I don't go out into the storm after the ship.  The ship finds me.

Offline No expectations

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 3
« Reply #102 on: February 13, 2018, 06:37:23 PM »
RT,

Good for you, sticking to your plan to have H contact the school.  As you said, it doesn't matter a rat's a$$ where he is, the phone works.  And how selfish it that, that he didn't even mention his plans to leave town.

I really hope things get straightened out for your D.  Bullies exist, and can cause irreparable damage.  I hope that she gets a solution to this, the poor girl has been through so much. 
Married 10 1/2 years, together 17.  BD 9/2016, 2nd BD 10/16.  H moved out 10/16.  2 AS's from my first M.  Me 55, H 49.  OW 23.

"And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through; how you managed to survive.  You won't even be sure if the storm is really over.  But one thing is certain; when you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person that walked in...that's what this storm is all about."

"The trick is to enjoy life.  Don't wish away your days, waiting for better ones."

Offline ReallytryingTopic starter

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 3
« Reply #103 on: February 14, 2018, 08:29:57 PM »
Thanks LH & NoEx
The school shooting today definitely rattled me. SIL works in that same school system so I did feel frightened for a bit. Then I felt relief when I knew it wasn’t her school. Then I felt guilty for feeling relieved since so many people did lose their life.

I got home to spend the evening with the kids. There were flowers that apparently H bought on Monday and left in a vase in the basement (D asked him to buy the flowers). In a cute bin with candy & a bear was a book that said “why I love Mom”. There were 50 reasons - including that she loves my smile, that she appreciates my advice and loves that I never judge. One thing was she’s amazed by my ability to maintain calm. It was one of the nicest gifts I have ever received. I am so so grateful for the relationship I’ve built with my amazing kids.

Offline hopeandfaith

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 3
« Reply #104 on: February 14, 2018, 11:22:37 PM »
In a cute bin with candy & a bear was a book that said “why I love Mom”. There were 50 reasons - including that she loves my smile, that she appreciates my advice and loves that I never judge. One thing was she’s amazed by my ability to maintain calm.

Nawww! Little cherub  :-*

What ended up happening with the call to the school?

I totally hear you about the secrecy thing RT.  Really rattles my cage because I always know that he's up to no good (and not proud of it). 
BD's in May 09, Sept 12 - suspected OW
Left home Jan 12 2013
OW confirmed Feb 2013
Moved home April 11 2014
BD again in April 2017 - clinging. 
Moved out July 2017
D18, D16 and S14

Offline ReallytryingTopic starter

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 3
« Reply #105 on: February 16, 2018, 09:18:10 AM »
Hope - h is supposed to be following up with the school today. The girl hasn’t bothered D anymore this week but I’m sure she’ll be back at it soon enough.

SIL has been pretty rattled by the school shooting. Her coworkers husband was one of the victims. That really does hit close to home.

S had an honor roll assembly today. He forgot to tell us about it until last night. Thankfully I was able to go and so was H. H got there after I did and he sat across the room. But he was clearly looking around. When he saw me he moved to sit next to me. We chatted a bit - philosophical discussions about gun control, etc. When it was done he said hi to S and left saying he’d see hi later. S asked to go home and the school allows the honor roll kids to leave early. I took home S and a friend. I dropped them home and left because I have lunch plans with a friend from bookclub. If H comes over later I won’t be around - I have dinner plans with a fellow LBS. All my social plans for the weekend crammed into one day 😂😂😂

I thought I had to work yesterday but the Dean said she’d rather I come a different day since they have several faculty available tomorrow. She didn’t have to tell me twice 😄

Offline ReallytryingTopic starter

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 3
« Reply #106 on: February 16, 2018, 09:29:03 PM »
I had a fantastic day. First honor roll assembly for S. Then lunch with a friend. We relaxed and caught up. I came home to check on the kids was going to arrange dinner but h said he’d take care of it. Left to go have dinner with a LBS friend. Was lovely to catch up and she looked fantastic! On the way there I was worried that I was going the wrong way and I called H. He knows the area better than I do. It was odd when I called because we rarely talk on the phone. He answered and was helpful. He then sent me a text with info he thought would be helpful.

When I got back from dinner h was still here with the kids. They were watching tv. I sat with them. H seemed to be in a pleasant mood. He and D were going back and forth about what they would watch next. He eventually settled on an interesting documentary. I was surprised because it was well past his curfew at this point. Both D & S were no longer watching, leaving just me and him watching. He left before it was done but this was at about 11:30pm. I watched the end of it and texted to tell him he should definitely finish watching it.

After he left D was showing me something she had gotten for boyfriend. She and H had gone to the store and to pick up dinner. She commented that he was in a good mood and even paid for the thing she got for BF. She commented that the valentine stuff was pretty cheap since it was after the day. They apparently ended up at the drug store because he said he needed to grab a card. Said that since he was away on Valentine’s Day he didn’t do anything. D thought that was bizarre. He clearly could have had flowers delivered even if he was out of town. I honestly don’t get the way his mind works (or doesn’t work) these days. He bought flowers for me and left them here from Monday so that the kids could give them to me on the day but OW he grabs a card 2 days after Valentine’s Day?

Offline FaithWalker

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 3
« Reply #107 on: February 17, 2018, 11:27:32 AM »
That is very strange, RT.
M-39
H-42
S-17
D-15
S-12
Friends for 7 years before dating
Married for 14 years
BD 12/14/15 - 2 weeks after 14th anniversary
Divorce final 4/13/16
EA - 9/15-4/16
New GF 12/16
Engaged to her 6/17 (I found out 8/10/17)
Moved to her State 4 States away - 7/13/17
Engagement off 8/20/17
Moved back to our State 8/24/17
Joined POF within the first month back


Link to my journey: 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9711.0

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Never become a container for bitterness.  Bitterness is a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

"Sometimes -- some things have to break all apart so better things can be built."

Offline ReallytryingTopic starter

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 3
« Reply #108 on: February 17, 2018, 02:45:03 PM »
D also mentioned that OW texted H “where are you” followed by several texts with angry face emojis. She commented that it didn’t seem like the most mature communication. She saw him reply that he was at the store with her but she didn’t see anything further of their conversation. When he was bringing her home she asked if he was going to stay until I got home. He said no he was just going to drop her back. He commented that I probably wouldn’t be back for awhile because he knew from my call that I was a good distance from home.
She told him that she had stuff for him for Valentine’s Day so could he come in to grab those. She gave him the candy that we had gotten him and they began to watch tv. He stayed here several hours after that (including at least 2 hours after I got back). It’s odd that he initially seemed to be in a hurry and instead relaxed and stayed there until quite late - latest he’s been around in months.
Sometimes I wish I could know what was going on in his head. Other times I think that might be scary 😱

Offline ReallytryingTopic starter

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 3
« Reply #109 on: February 20, 2018, 08:01:10 PM »
After h left Friday night we didn’t hear much from him. Sunday S had tryouts. H texted to say he had to be somewhere at 1:30 so couldn’t take S. I replied “ok”. Interestingly he texted a bit later to say he’d be able to pick him up. He didn’t need to - I was fine dropping and picking up. He was with OW and seems he went back there so strange that he chose to offer to do pickup. OW does not live nearby - minimum 45 mins away. When D and I got back H was still here. His energy was odd. He seemed on edge. He left soon after. It was a holiday weekend here. After he left on Sunday he didn’t have anymore contact with the kids until today. He did text me yesterday to discuss fixing S phone - he broke the screen. H picked up D from practice today. He was pleasant - dressed like it was summer. As soon as they came in D went upstairs. S went upstairs soon after as well leaving me and H sitting in family room. We were watching news and chit chatting about my day. It was like that for over an hour before D came back downstairs. They then began to watch tv. I had complained that the computer wasn’t working properly - he worked on it and seems to have solved the problem.
He got up to leave at curfew time but he, S and I were watching the Olympics. It was so clear that he didn’t want to leave - was enjoying watching it with company but he did eventually leave. As soon as he left D jumped up and said “now that dad is gone let me show you my choreography” I asked why she didn’t do it when dad was there. Her response “I don’t know him like that” 😢😢😢

Today was a busy day. My department of 6 is down to 2 this academic year. The other professor in the department has been sick on and off since the start of the semester. I was covering one of her classes this morning. It meant I was pressed for time between her class and mine. I was in my office hustling to get things done. My student assistant was there as well. A paper I was working on fell. I leaned over to pick the paper up and the chair I was sitting in rolled away and I was suddenly on my butt on the floor 😂😂😂😂 The student laughed until she had tears.  She actually said “that’s it! Time to break for lunch. I’m kicking you out of your own office”. I swear I haven’t laughed that hard in a long long time.


 

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