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Our Community / Re: Bit of Fun with Horoscopes.
« Last post by Thunder on Today at 10:53:43 AM »
Thanks for the link, Anjae. 

It's fun and interesting to read this stuff.

Someone once said to me...well, you can generalize everyone to fit a Sun Sign.
I said...no, not really.  My 3 kids are as different as night and day from each other.  You could not fit each one into the others sign.
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Our Community / Re: Wife's MLC 10
« Last post by Helpingme! on Today at 10:52:54 AM »
Following along my friend.
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Our Community / Re: The fog is thicker at 3 yrs!
« Last post by Rising Phoenix on Today at 10:49:48 AM »
The one you have met SF, how many have stayed with the ow? Xx
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Our Community / Re: Macy's thread
« Last post by 31andcounting on Today at 10:46:23 AM »
There are no true time limits on this. What I am saying is you must make yourself feel good again because HE is not going to!   I truly understand the pain, My h did it to me twice!   We divorced, we got back together then he walked away again!!
All I can tell you is what I did. I went to church more. I prayed more.  I joined a gym and started going to zumba.  it made me smile for 60 minutes, it honestly saved my life.  I decided I was not to blame and I told myself this over and over and over.     I chose to be happy!   I had to or I was going to drown in my tears.
I cried, a lot but then I'd make myself stop and put more makeup on and take a walk.  We were under the same roof every night without him talking to me.  I faked it until I made it......I made the choice to act happy.

That is how I did it!
(hugs)
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Our Community / Re: Finding Myself Here Again
« Last post by 31andcounting on Today at 10:38:28 AM »
moc

My h was gone a year when we divorced at the 10 year anniversary mark.  He left in October, I filed for Divorce in April. it was final in May and he asked to return the following January.  We were living apart for 2 Christmas.

The second time he never moved out of the home but he almost did towards the end.  I told myself I would not ask him to move out because I truly felt he realy did not want that, he just wanted to be/feel better!   He was in crisis and in the home a little more than 6 years.  I did not "know" it was MLC until 2010 ( when I found this site) but because I can look in the rear view mirror now he began his crisis about 2006 when he walked away from his job.  I guess I should say he " started his crisis back up" in 2006 , I think he was in crisis when he walked out of our family in 1989 but returned before he completed his work!! 


something like this....your MLCer  got in bed with you ( the man she wants to leave?) just shows you that something is wrong??  Someone that does not love someone and wants a divorce ( a normal breakup)  does not return to the house or continue to call just to hear your voice??   This right here just proves that she is in crisis I think!!  Not that you had any doubt  :)

(hugs)
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Our Community / Re: The fog is thicker at 3 yrs!
« Last post by StoneFrog on Today at 10:35:06 AM »
I've never met a MLCer that stuck with OW and seemed happy. My father was one, it took him three families and four wives to come face to face with the fact it was never about anything else but him.
My cousin's husband was pure MLC. He's had a sorrow about him for 15 years now.

I doubt running away from problems and living in denial is the key for happiness in anyone's case.
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Our Community / Re: Stars
« Last post by Acorn on Today at 10:31:03 AM »
Isn't it a textbook example about MLC??

Definitely!  All the pressures of life converging in midlife and boom!  An explosion. 
MLCers seem to have intense desire to escape the present life.  ‘Only if I could change my surroundings, I wil be happy’ philosophy, never imagining that the clue is within themselves. 
I guess it is their journey to find out that they need to look inside of them to resolve their issues and also to realize that no one can give them happiness.  Only they can. 

Just give you an example from the mouth of an MLCer, ie, my H:
At the beginning of his overt MLC journey, he talked about his pain regarding his F’s lack of demonstration of love and validation toward H in his childhood.  I asked him why he turned his emotional back to me if his relationship with his father was the problem.  He answered ‘Because you are part of my past.’  I didn’t understand him then but now I do.  I firmly belonged to that ‘past’ life.  He was not looking for a shiny future as such.  Just be done with his past life upto that point.  Mysterious ways of MLC...
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Our Community / Re: COOL HAND LUKE 12
« Last post by Treasur on Today at 10:27:28 AM »
Very funny, GIG  ;D
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Our Community / Re: The journey of a thousand miles starts with one step
« Last post by Kanvan on Today at 10:26:36 AM »
Quote
My H has said exactly what your H is saying. They are so afraid that we will reject them. Ironic right? But they continue to run and escape and avoid. Nothing we can do about it. It is exhausting and sad.

So Kit, it is a MLC script basically. It is ironic that we will reject them. My boys, MIL and friends have told me that if I ever completely cut H off that they think he will die? When the wheels fall off of everything he always calls or texts me. The boys said that the first time he goes to jail that I will be the first one he calls. Needless to say, I am going to let him sit so he can sober up.

Quote
Bc really it is a momentary thought in their mush brains that they will likely forget anyway.
I know, and I tried to rack my brain about if he was talking about our relationship or the one with pond scum. I think it is with pond scum because there is no relationship with me and him or is he doing his part. It is just so tiring and really it does not matter, as you mentioned he has likely forgotten our conversation anyway.

Thank you for your support and encouragement, I appreciate you :)

Thank you for your support and encouragement
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Our Community / Re: Story of this ride with my MLCer
« Last post by iwantoffthisride on Today at 10:23:30 AM »
Thanks Thunder. Yes.....that is a perk at least something I am.thankful for. For some reason (my age???) my libido is higher than ever. Not really sure why. Hs had tanked but is much better now. There were a variety of physiological and psychological reasons for that. Anyway......it's amazing. But.......doesn't help with detachment!!!!!!! No wonder I cycle too so.much!!!
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