Author Topic: My Story Inside Job  (Read 1836 times)

Offline heroIamTopic starter

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1273
  • Gender: Female
My Story Re: Inside Job
« Reply #70 on: December 05, 2017, 07:18:36 AM »
Had to email H about the tree at 'our' house that needed a major cutback. So, I did.  Let him know tree was cut back and how much it cost.  H had asked if I would let him know about any other expenses that come up besides the 'usual' house bills.  So, I did.  HIs response asked me if i had gotten more than one quote.  (no. i'm a complete idiot  ::)). ---  I said yes, I did. 

It's just all so stupid.


“In the end, you’ve got to be your own hero because everyone’s busy trying to save themselves.”

Online waiting4

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 345
  • Gender: Female
  • Tomorrow is another day..
Re: Inside Job
« Reply #71 on: December 05, 2017, 07:36:51 AM »
Had to email H about the tree at 'our' house that needed a major cutback. So, I did.  Let him know tree was cut back and how much it cost.  H had asked if I would let him know about any other expenses that come up besides the 'usual' house bills.  So, I did.  HIs response asked me if i had gotten more than one quote.  (no. i'm a complete idiot  ::)). ---  I said yes, I did. 

It's just all so stupid.

Mine is doing the same thing to me... for me i feel its my H's way of keeping his presence in my life..who knows..
 the good thing is he replied ..

I just opened the mail and i am going to have to contact my H about something.. I tried to handle it myself but i need info only he knows.. I guess i"ll do that today..

I totally agree with you .. It's all stupid...


Me-55
H - 55
Adult D- 35 ( our only child)
Married 36 yrs. married 33 yrs at time of BD
date of BD July 2015
OW- YES, 35 yr old Peruivan with a 6 yr old son
H- moved out of our home in Oct 2015 and moved straight in with OW
H- says he doesnt know what he wants, doesnt want divorce, wants a long term separtaion. doesnt know what the future holds.
 H - has not seen me in almost a year
 H- has introduced OW to his family and visits them often with OW.
 
" If you're going through Hell... Keep going" Winston Churchill....

Offline UrsaMajor

  • Moderator
  • *
  • Posts: 4655
  • Gender: Male
  • You can't please everyone, you aren't a pizza
Re: Inside Job
« Reply #72 on: December 06, 2017, 05:16:32 AM »
Had to email H about the tree at 'our' house that needed a major cutback. So, I did.  Let him know tree was cut back and how much it cost.  H had asked if I would let him know about any other expenses that come up besides the 'usual' house bills.  So, I did.  HIs response asked me if i had gotten more than one quote.  (no. i'm a complete idiot  ::)). ---  I said yes, I did. 

It's just all so stupid.

<snort>

I had to laugh as I got a similar question last night but I was not quite so self-contained in my reply.....

Mid-Lifer: "Hi. I just wanted to know if you had picked up the kids, had them with you, and how S is doing." (S was home sick from school yesterday by himself - it was 17:20 when she called and the Day Care for D ends at 16:30)  ::)

Me: "Yeah I picked them up but no, they're not here, I left them in a box somewhere... "

At least she laughed ... Since the kids and I were in the car and the phone was in Hands-free mode, they got to hear it all and thought it was funny too...
Me - 54
MLC - 47
Together 20 years - Married for 17 at separation
S - 10
D - 6
2 Canines (each of us has one)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold and separated - March 2016
No legal action to date

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline heroIamTopic starter

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1273
  • Gender: Female
Re: Inside Job
« Reply #73 on: December 06, 2017, 08:11:39 AM »
Hi UM.
That's too funny.  If they are so concerned how we do things and whether we do them-- why not just come home.  It's easier than email!  lol  ::)

“In the end, you’ve got to be your own hero because everyone’s busy trying to save themselves.”

Offline UrsaMajor

  • Moderator
  • *
  • Posts: 4655
  • Gender: Male
  • You can't please everyone, you aren't a pizza
Re: Inside Job
« Reply #74 on: December 07, 2017, 04:57:45 AM »
Hi UM.
That's too funny.  If they are so concerned how we do things and whether we do them-- why not just come home.  It's easier than email!  lol  ::)

The answer to this question for me is easy.. there is no longer a home to come home to... that home was sold and we each have our own apartments now... She sure as firetruck is NOT going to move into mine... And I have no intention on moving into hers <blech!>
Me - 54
MLC - 47
Together 20 years - Married for 17 at separation
S - 10
D - 6
2 Canines (each of us has one)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold and separated - March 2016
No legal action to date

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline heroIamTopic starter

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1273
  • Gender: Female
Re: Inside Job
« Reply #75 on: December 07, 2017, 07:13:38 AM »
"LIFE IS ABOUT THE CHOICES WE MAKE, THE MOMENTS WE DON'T SEE COMING AND THE STRENGTH TO DO WHAT'S BEST FOR OURSELVES DESPITE HOW MUCH IT MAY HURT"  ~Samantha King

Hi UM.
Well, i guess if you both have your own places and the family home was sold - I can see how that would be a little tough.  In my case, i still live in our marital home that he continues to pay for (mostly).  But I assume he does have his own bachelor pad or a home he made with OW now.  Yet he continues to get some mail at 'our' home and continue paying mortgage, bills, etc.  (Please insert confused, perplexed, vomiting gif here)

This one perhaps? - UM

You seem like a good man UM.  Your kids are very lucky.
« Last Edit: December 07, 2017, 07:30:35 AM by UrsaMajor »
“In the end, you’ve got to be your own hero because everyone’s busy trying to save themselves.”

Online Thunder

  • Moderator
  • *
  • Posts: 14356
  • Gender: Female
Re: Inside Job
« Reply #76 on: December 07, 2017, 10:18:32 AM »
You know I've often wondered about that.

How many people have reconciled after the family home is sold.  Does the marital home play any part in this?  Hmm..
With her permission, a quote from a recovered MLCer: 
From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did.

Offline heroIamTopic starter

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1273
  • Gender: Female
Re: Inside Job
« Reply #77 on: December 07, 2017, 12:31:54 PM »
That would be the one UM.  lol  ;D

That's an interesting thought Thunder.  I wonder if anyone on HS can get some kind of status on that? 
“In the end, you’ve got to be your own hero because everyone’s busy trying to save themselves.”

Online Treasur

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1290
  • Gender: Female
Re: Inside Job
« Reply #78 on: December 08, 2017, 02:04:18 AM »
My STBXH avoided it like the plague. I decided to sell it and move for my own sanity. Weirdly I think he was hanging around the old house on his own about a month ago - no idea why - house is still full of his stuff, of course  ::)  I don't think either of us were as emotionally attached to it though as we were our previous two houses.
BD - Oct 15, mostly silent vanishing husband
OW since Apr 16?
H filed Jan 17. Divorce almost done.
Standing for me and my own treasures

Grace is...Elegance, good will, unearned blessings, an extended period for payment granted as a special favour, a prayer of thanks and how to address a duchess.

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg


 

Legal Disclaimer
The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.
Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.
This disclaimer is also included in the Forum's Registration Agreement.