Author Topic: My Story Just when I think things are getting better....  (Read 3591 times)

Online Mortesbride

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 697
  • Gender: Female
My Story Re: Just when I think things are getting better....
« Reply #90 on: December 16, 2017, 10:57:57 AM »
Yes. One in particular.

Offline Seeshell7Topic starter

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 224
  • Gender: Female
Re: Just when I think things are getting better....
« Reply #91 on: December 16, 2017, 11:32:26 AM »
Mortesbride,  your H is a monster to your children?
:)

Online Mortesbride

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 697
  • Gender: Female
Re: Just when I think things are getting better....
« Reply #92 on: December 16, 2017, 12:00:36 PM »
He was to one in particular. He said some pretty horrendous things to me about S(5) as a ''joke'' but with the dead shark eyes you know aren't a joke. He was screaming at him and got mildly physical. Then we had a big blow up about that, so now he gets them at weekends...supervised by his mom...

Offline Seeshell7Topic starter

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 224
  • Gender: Female
Re: Just when I think things are getting better....
« Reply #93 on: December 16, 2017, 12:28:37 PM »
Sometimes I just sit and look at all the other couples out there and wonder, what happened?  We had a beautiful family, 2 boys, 2 girls. I thought we were best friends , I honestly thought we had a good marriage and I was happy.
But apparently i was living a fake life.
This sucks.  My children are broken, I'm broken and my future I planned is broken.  He is a jerk to me and my kids.
Yet I find myself missing him and wishing he would just come home and beg me to forgive him and hold me close.  Bit instead he's planning a wedding with OW when our divorce is over.   I'm so sad
:)

Offline Macy

  • Mentor: 31AndCounting
  • *
  • Posts: 242
  • Gender: Female
Re: Just when I think things are getting better....
« Reply #94 on: December 16, 2017, 03:40:06 PM »
Seeshell, hang in there. All of us experience the grief. We wonder how our H could do such horrid things. If I wasn't on this forum I'd think I was all alone and that MLC was just an excuse for men behaving badly.

I too long for my husband to turn up begging for forgiveness. Instead all he does is tell the kids that this marriage ended because of me. Obviously they are shocked because before bd he was always loving and affectionate: we spoke kindly to each other and remained like young lovers. IDK what happens to their brains but it sound like mental illness to me.

This is not your typical rocky marriage that comes to a natural end. They all follow the same script and I'd like to believe that likewise they will hit rock bottom and feel the misery. Hold on to that hope. x

Offline Seeshell7Topic starter

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 224
  • Gender: Female
Re: Just when I think things are getting better....
« Reply #95 on: December 16, 2017, 04:58:22 PM »
Macy, thank you.  I can only hope he does hit rock bottom.
Mostly I wish I could just let go and go on with my life but it's just so so hard to do.  I find myself feeling so jealous of OW.
:)

Online moc

  • Mentor: 31AndCounting
  • *
  • Posts: 613
  • Gender: Male
Re: Just when I think things are getting better....
« Reply #96 on: December 16, 2017, 05:57:21 PM »
See: I think the weekends are the hardest as most people are off with family and no work.  I know that I am and sometimes it is hard to GAL with kids at home that we are 100% responsible for (not like the MLCer takes responsibility). 

Yet I find myself missing him and wishing he would just come home and beg me to forgive him and hold me close.

Agreed, but I think mostly, they don't come home begging.  It is a fantasy what we want.  I am sorry, not trying to downplay your pain because I want the same thing from my wife too.  To wake up and say "what the firetruck am I doing?"

Seeing other couple happy totally sucks.  We are happy for them but sad for us.  We want to run up to them and say: "hey, hold onto this.  Make everyday the best and work hard to enjoy each other"...and such.  Yes, he is a JERK.  They all are and sometimes I wonder if they are cowards.  Take care.
~ avoiding the Damn Foolish Idealistic Narcissistic Crusade ~ MLC

~ MLCers: one fruitcake short of a Christmas

Offline nah

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6155
  • Gender: Female
  • His mlc...too bad for him
Re: Just when I think things are getting better....
« Reply #97 on: December 16, 2017, 06:49:38 PM »
I find myself feeling so jealous of OW.

Sometimes I try to put myself into an ow's shoes.

There's only two ways to feel when you sleep with another woman's husband.  It either bothers you or it doesn't.

So if she is the type that it bothers her, she has to live with that feeling every single day.  I just couldn't do it, no matter how much I felt we were so so very much in love, it just wouldn't eat at me day in and day out.

The only thing worse than living with that guilt every single day is NOT living with that guilt.  Being so damn cold inside that destroying a family is not a big deal.  I think being like that would be worse.

Jealous?  No.  Luckily I don't have any feelings for those kind of people, if I did it would be pity.
H-52
me-50
ow-30
married 1986
BD April 6 2013 day after family went out for sons birthday.
I packed his bags two days later...vanisher

Offline Seeshell7Topic starter

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 224
  • Gender: Female
Re: Just when I think things are getting better....
« Reply #98 on: December 16, 2017, 08:44:42 PM »
 Wow Nah, that sure puts it into perspective for me.
Thank you.  That's why I love this forum, the wisdom of those of you who have walked this rocky road.
It helps, alot
:)

Offline ChrissYAH

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 895
  • Gender: Female
Re: Just when I think things are getting better....
« Reply #99 on: December 16, 2017, 09:23:05 PM »
Why blame the home wrecker? I place all the blame on HIM, ball was in his court, wh*r^s just take what they can get.


 

Legal Disclaimer
The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.
Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.
This disclaimer is also included in the Forum's Registration Agreement.