Author Topic: My Story What do you want for Christmas?  (Read 2664 times)

Offline DumbfoundedTopic starter

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My Story Re: What do you want for Christmas?
« Reply #10 on: December 12, 2017, 08:42:54 AM »
Awwww.... SB you made the rabbit hole sound like a warm, cozy place to hang out with all my LBS friends safe from the big, bad world. I like that idea. I am so glad you got your tree up and are enjoying it.

CLG - Thanks for the support. Yes, we really are the lucky ones.

Well, I have turned myself around yet again. LB dropped S off from basketball practice last night while I was at my yoga class. I was sitting in my cross legged yoga pose, eyes closed thinking "firetruck you - I put the inside AND outside lights up you crazy MLCer". I hope he choked when he pulled up in the driveway.

Sunday I was exhausted. S had a basketball game quite a distance away and I spent the morning sitting across the gym from LB with my monkey brain trying not to walk over to him and try to talk sense to him. I wanted quite badly to talk to the old H who I am sure would understand the craziness of the situation I am in right now. But alas, he is too busy pretending to be father of the year with the coach and assistant coaches to see that he is ignoring his S.

The game was up by my sister's house and so S and I stopped in for a visit. Their house was full tilt crazy with a dog that had appeared to have suffered a stroke overnight and a 3 year old starting preschool this week and my brother and SIL coming in this week for my Aunt's services.  So, we helped as best we could there (they had to put the dog down yesterday) and then S and I headed off to the cemetery to put down the grave blanket for my father that MIL had made. It was cold and snowy at the cemetery and I really wanted to sit and talk with my Dad for awhile - but I promised him I would come back in warmer weather with a bottle of wine.

My brother finally sent me an e-mail yesterday about him and SIL saying he wanted me to know that they had agreed to separate in January before he came East and he was hoping the trip was not to awkward for anyone.  It is so odd - nothing he wrote in his e-mail matches what SIL has said to me. Nothing SIL has told me matches what my sister has told me. No wonder our inlaws are so confused. I am really struggling to figure out how to deal with brother when he lands here on Thursday night. Sigh.

           

     
Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

Offline Treasur

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Re: What do you want for Christmas?
« Reply #11 on: December 12, 2017, 09:02:12 AM »
I was sitting in my cross legged yoga pose, eyes closed thinking "firetruck you - I put the inside AND outside lights up you crazy MLCer".

Not a traditional yoga mantra...but it made me laugh out loud  ;D
BD - Oct 15, mostly silent vanishing husband, diagnosed with severe depression in Dec 15 & seeing psychiatrist/on ADs since then
OW since Apr 16, maybe earlier?
H filed Jan 17.
80/20 strategy for me in 2018

"her soul is fierce, her heart is brave, her mind is strong." R.H Sin
Grace is...Elegance, good will, unearned blessings, a prayer of thanks and how to address a duchess.
"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Online CanLetGo

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Re: What do you want for Christmas?
« Reply #12 on: December 12, 2017, 12:31:18 PM »
I was sitting in my cross legged yoga pose, eyes closed thinking "firetruck you - I put the inside AND outside lights up you crazy MLCer".

Not a traditional yoga mantra...but it made me laugh out loud  ;D

😂😂😂
Me 44
H 47
3 young adult kids
BD December 2013, left home August 2014
OW 17 years younger

Offline DumbfoundedTopic starter

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Re: What do you want for Christmas?
« Reply #13 on: December 12, 2017, 01:05:42 PM »
I am back with my monkey brain again.

Today is H's Grandmother's 91st birthday. On Sunday, H had invited the kids to cake and ice cream tonight at the house to celebrate. S has a basketball game scheduled for tonight so I wasn't quite sure how that was going to work but I stayed quiet because - well, not my circus anymore.  Last night, while S was at practice, H sent the kids a text telling them that S has a basketball game and they have all been spared going to the birthday party (smiley face).  Maybe it is just me me but yikes - way to appreciate your grandmother H and pass that love and appreciation on to her grandkids.

I spent a few minutes trying to decide if I should send a gift and then decided that Grandmom doesn't have a whole lot of time left to wait around for her jerk of a grandson to come to his senses.  So, I sent her a Happy Birthday cookie basket. Plus, I get the added joy of knowing my name is sitting around on a card in H's house wishing his family member Happy Birthday.       
Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

Online CanLetGo

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Re: What do you want for Christmas?
« Reply #14 on: December 12, 2017, 01:58:58 PM »
That was a lovely thing to do DF, in a world of Leaky Buckets, be DF I say 😊
Me 44
H 47
3 young adult kids
BD December 2013, left home August 2014
OW 17 years younger

Offline stillbaffled

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Re: What do you want for Christmas?
« Reply #15 on: December 12, 2017, 08:49:38 PM »

My brother finally sent me an e-mail yesterday about him and SIL saying he wanted me to know that they had agreed to separate in January before he came East and he was hoping the trip was not to awkward for anyone.  It is so odd - nothing he wrote in his e-mail matches what SIL has said to me. Nothing SIL has told me matches what my sister has told me. No wonder our inlaws are so confused. I am really struggling to figure out how to deal with brother when he lands here on Thursday night. Sigh.


I just asked you over on my thread about your brother and SIL.  I couldn't remember when your Aunt's service was.  So will your SIL be staying with you?  What a mess.   
After all, tomorrow is another day.

Offline FaithWalker

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Re: What do you want for Christmas?
« Reply #16 on: December 12, 2017, 09:18:28 PM »
Attaching DF.  Laughing about the puppy, and your MLCers response to that request.

WTG on the outside lights!

Awww, I'm glad that you sent something to his Gma.
M-39
H-42
S-17
D-15
S-12
Friends for 7 years before dating
Married for 14 years
BD 12/14/15 - 2 weeks after 14th anniversary
Divorce final 4/13/16
EA - 9/15-4/16
New GF 12/16
Engaged to her 6/17 (I found out 8/10/17)
Moved to her State 4 States away - 7/13/17
Engagement off 8/20/17
Moved back to our State 8/24/17
Joined POF within the first month back


Link to my journey: 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9711.0

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Never become a container for bitterness.  Bitterness is a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

"Sometimes -- some things have to break all apart so better things can be built."

Offline DumbfoundedTopic starter

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Re: What do you want for Christmas?
« Reply #17 on: December 13, 2017, 11:12:19 AM »
What a crazy ride December is turning out to be.

My Aunt's services are this coming Saturday. Brother is flying in tonight. Who is coming with him is anybody's guess. Mom, sister and I keep comparing notes.. and finally decided that we won't know for sure who all is coming until we get to the airport tonight. SIL and I texted a bit last night and she asked if she thought it was going to be awkward id she came and I told her only if I hit brother in the head with a shovel at the service on Saturday. I told her again that she was welcome at my house whenever.

Off to S's basketball practice last night. D decided to tag along. When LB saw her there he came over and hugged her and kissed her and told her he loved her. D is NOT a hugger. She was not happy. Then he went and sat with his new basketball friend Dad and I could hear them talking sports and he ignored D and me for the rest of the time.  ???  S's team won and D, S and I went out for a celebratory dinner.  As I was following LB out of the parking lot, I snickered knowing that he was going home to a basket of cookies from me and the kids to Grandmom. 

Anyway, this morning I got a message from H's cousin who was at cake and ice cream for Grandmom last night. She said she had no idea about LB and I and that she asked MIL about me and MIL burst into tears and then Grandmom started crying and, on cue, the doorbell rang and my cookie basket was delivered and everyone started crying.  They all said they were heartbroken and missed me and they were so angry with LB. She said that MIL is so sad and heart broken and I should reach out to her because she thinks I am mad and rightfully so.  Sigh.

So ,LB went home to cookies and crying relatives. Ha!

So, I cry this morning and then when I get to work there is an offer from LB's attorney with a request to postpone next weeks court date. Or it is the start of an offer anyway. I won't get into the mess of it but it is so funny the things he is focused on.  He is still annoyed about the credit card that I removed him as an authorized user on. He thinks I am just going to hand over the car with no credit to me. He wants 50% of an account that contains my half of a joint account that was already divided up plus half of the tax return he already agreed to give me.  He already got his half - I saved my half and he spent his.  :o  But he seems to have given up on the full custody thing except that he is still crying about overnights. Um ... you live in a 3 bedroom rancher with 4 other people. Where do you think the kids are going to sleep?

Nothing about Christmas visitation with the kids.

And tonight my brother and SIL come in.... gotta get my bada$$ self all tuned up for a very dysfunctional weekend. 
Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

Offline DumbfoundedTopic starter

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Re: What do you want for Christmas?
« Reply #18 on: December 13, 2017, 11:17:02 AM »
Come to think of it there is no mention of the dog in his offer. Huh.
Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

Offline StoneFrog

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Re: What do you want for Christmas?
« Reply #19 on: December 13, 2017, 11:54:29 AM »

So ,LB went home to cookies and crying relatives. Ha!
;D What a nice reaction they all had. Isn't it nice to hear that you're missed?

I can relate to H having unrealistic visions of overnights. Mine actually wants them to sleep at MIL's floor two night every other week. You know, since he doesn't want them to know about OW, nor would they fit in OW's apartment.

Also, loved your yoga mantra. Good for you!


 

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