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Author Topic: My Story Divorce  (Read 1850 times)

Offline rosecoloredglasses

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My Story Re: Divorce
« Reply #10 on: December 26, 2017, 08:45:00 AM »
I don't normally comment on your thread, Silver, but I wanted to send you my support.  You have done everything that you could to improve your situation and it is just out of your control.  Thinking of you and sending vibes of strength.
M-43
H-52
D-12
S-8
D-4

Online Rebecca2817

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Re: Divorce
« Reply #11 on: December 26, 2017, 08:56:51 AM »
So sorry. It must be hard. I'm approaching my d date soon myself. She could come around at some point.

Offline Rosetintedglasses

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Re: Divorce
« Reply #12 on: December 26, 2017, 03:42:03 PM »
Silver, she is wrong to do this to you.  She hasn’t worked on herself enough and this is the result. You couldn’t have been better, couldn’t have tried harder and couldn’t have been a better father trying to keep your family together. There is nothing more you could have tried, hopefully that will give you some peace when you look back on this.

BR
Rose 🌹
Me-46
H-46
S-13
D-11
Married 1999
BD1 - Oct 2016
BD2 - May 2017
ILYBINILWY - June 2017
Physical affair with MOW Sept 2016-Jan 2017
Emotional affair with same MOW from Jan 2017 until now - due to geography!
Tried to work through it living as a family and not telling anyone! Not easy with a lying cheating monster, he left Oct 2017 to stay with his parents and 'isn't putting a time limit on it'

Offline Anjae

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Re: Divorce
« Reply #13 on: December 26, 2017, 04:00:00 PM »
I am so sorry, Silver.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline gman242

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Re: Divorce
« Reply #14 on: December 26, 2017, 04:13:37 PM »
Sucks man    :'(. But I am also of the belief that if its really an mlc it will keep going after the divorce and you'll be in the same place regardless. Much sympathy and good vibes to you man.
« Last Edit: December 26, 2017, 05:21:25 PM by gman242 »

Online Lastresort

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Re: Divorce
« Reply #15 on: December 26, 2017, 05:06:56 PM »
Sucks man  :'. But I am also if the belief that if its really an mix it will keep going after the divorce and you'll be in the same place regardless. Much sympathy and good vibes to you man.

I believe the same thing the drama will still continue post divorce if it is a MLC

Offline cplnorton

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Re: Divorce
« Reply #16 on: December 26, 2017, 06:27:23 PM »
I've been divorced for 3 months I think now.  I didn't notice any difference in the way she acted before, during, or after the divorce.  She still tries to anchor check me.  She told me not even a month after the divorce she regretted it and wasn't sure why she did it. 

I don't know.  She even told me she thought it would make her happy to finally be divorced, but all she said it did was make her sad.

I honestly give up.  I want off this wild ride...
Me   M  37
MLC  W  35
Mini bomb drop Jan 2017
Major bomb drop 3/5/2017
Sons 6 & 8
MLC moved out officially into OM #1 House on 4/17/17
Divorce Finalized 9/13/2017.  She gave me everything including the family home and Custody of the Children.
August 2017 Moved into OM#2 House.  :(

She filed Bankruptcy on 12/21/17.  she had 0 in debt when she left. 

Dec 2017, I finally threw in the towel.  I am no longer standing for her.  I now pray God sends me a wonderful woman to be a wife and mother to my kids. 

Link to 1st post:  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8967.0

Link to 2nd Post:  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9430.msg619177#msg619177

Offline Cold River

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Re: Divorce
« Reply #17 on: December 26, 2017, 07:51:01 PM »
Hey my friend sorry for another BAD day with all this. PM me anytime, for any reason, you're not alone.

Prayers for you and the kids.
M37
W41
DD20,15
SS11,11
BD 8/17 W says guy online is her bf, I'm her H but he is he bf
BD 9/17 found EA's multiple OM
BD 10/3/17 W still invloved EA's
BD 10/7/17 ILYBINILWY refused to give up affairs

Online FaithWalker

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Re: Divorce
« Reply #18 on: December 26, 2017, 09:47:45 PM »
Thinking of you tonight Silver and sending a big cyber (((HUG))).  I do not wish this D pain on anyone.  It hurts, my friend.  But, take it from me, it's just a season and things will get better for you.
M-39
H-42
S-17
D-15
S-12
Friends for 7 years before dating
Married for 14 years
BD 12/14/15 - 2 weeks after 14th anniversary
Divorce final 4/13/16
EA - 9/15-4/16
New GF 12/16
Engaged to her 6/17 (I found out 8/10/17)
Moved to her State 4 States away - 7/13/17
Engagement off 8/20/17
Moved back to our State 8/24/17
Joined POF within the first month back


Link to my journey: 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9711.0

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Never become a container for bitterness.  Bitterness is a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

"Sometimes -- some things have to break all apart so better things can be built."

Offline SilverTopic starter

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Re: Divorce
« Reply #19 on: December 27, 2017, 10:43:50 AM »
Thank you all from my heart, I am blessed with so much support and compassion, even from some of you I don't know at all.
I appreciate that very much.

Journaling

2nd day after D papers sent. In practice there will be still maybe 1-2 weeks after I will get my final statement from officials. Then the process itself is over. What we still need to do is to make appointment for children custody arrangement. We both have only one option for that (thank God!) which is shared custody. Then we have to make papers for something I don't know in English but in which we make a contract how our property will be shared. If we can reach an agreement in it (sounds we will) there is no need for lawyers or further legal process. Divorcing in my country is made rather easy. No explanations needed. Rarely even lawyers.

About me, well yesterday was hell, or would have been if I didn't made it rather numb by drinking more than few. Said things to STBXW which I just had to apologize today and I did. Not proud but that's what happened...
Today we had a good moment with her. I wrote her a brief but intense email (no 2x4:s please) in which I thanked her for everything during these years and apologized of what I did wrong in our R. I told her I still love her and wish that she finally finds her peace and happiness. Well you all know how hard it is to really mean that and I don't know if I do, probably I don't want to see her to be happy with one of OM:s she found during replay. But I took it more like paving the way or something, and state to her that I am not burning bridges. She read the email and came to me crying. We hugged, long, and she said she is sorry this has to end like this and that she apologizes the pain she caused me during last 6 months.

I just couldn't avoid tears myself neither, we both cried, I felt very sad and cried quite a while by myself after that. Tears that needed to come out, the moment that couldn't be seen trough LBS skill -glasses, genuine tears for mourning ending marriage and relationship with someone I thought I will share the rest of my life with. I believe we both felt better after that. I just can't live in hate, really can't. I will accept my anger and try to cope with it and I have to right to feel it, but I can't hate her. That's not just me if I did.

Later at afternoon she and the kids went away for a trip until friday. I supposed to go too but I told STBXW that I will cancel as I have no reason to "play family" and make family trips together anymore. I felt that my right too and believe I WOULD have gone too if it was big deal to kids but the truth is that they are used to travel with their mom without me and also with me without her, not nearly all our trips have been all us 4 together. I saw they are ok with I am not going so I stayed home. D9 have texted me many times already though, saying she and S4 miss me. That is nice to hear but I am sure they will have good time anyway.

I put some things rolling with house too, I invited 4 real estate agents from 3 different companies for tomorrow to see and estimate our house. So we will try to put it for sale soon. Time to really start to look at the next home for me and her for her. Seems to be that we both are planning to stay in the area which would be very good for the kids.

So... A lot of things happened in Silver's journey after Christmas. I am not happy, who would be. I am sad and disappointed. I am afraid she sees that she really is happier without me. I am a bit scared about my new fresh start in year 2018. Still I am confident too that I will get this too and be able to stay firmly on The Path. With help of God, my friends and all you my brave, cyber friends.





"I've seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn't ever end even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new. That's what faith can do." Kutless


 

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