Author Topic: My Story Reassembling - is there a manual?  (Read 1507 times)

Online MourningDoveTopic starter

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My Story Re: Reassembling - is there a manual?
« Reply #40 on: April 14, 2018, 06:02:14 PM »
LOL - stillbaffled - My sister and I will have a great deal to work through. We have no idea what medical bills there might be, what investments, etc. We have some idea. Luckily, the attorney will help deal with most of this. That said, we know what also awaits us in his home. It was neatly decorated and arranged, but he was an avid art collector and this is going to be a bit of a task. We are not talking Monets. Many would think this is so wonderful - inheriting, but it is a bit of a daunting task knowing what we know. The unknowns add a huge layer. It will have to be done and while we are honored and grateful he took the burden off of my parents, this is not going to be solved over night.

On the plus side, my release from job dread and the semester coming to an end helps with timing.

I come from a very large extended family. I have MANY wonderful relatives. However, I do have 2 aunts that are in fact less than favorable.

My M's sister is toxic aunt. She is the drama queen.

My F's sister is the only girl and none of us are sure which house she was raised in. Part of her issue is she took back my uncle, after he went into MLC. She loved him and neither did their mirror work. He has major FOO issues and she has become very bitter. They stayed together, but they are a good example of taking back someone too early and it is not a marriage. But, even before all of that, this aunt became very prejudiced and that was one of the problems. I don't care if she did not agree with my sister's choice in a spouse, but she had never met him. My BIL was adored by my grandmother and it pissed my grandmother off to no end that her daughter could be so nasty.

My uncles and my F were very much about family and caring for their M. My F is not one to want for things. He is very sentimental, but has always loved spending time with his relatives.

My aunt is about "what can she get" out of any relationship. She really sunk her ship with me when my grandmother had to be moved into a nursing home. We always knew she had these tendencies - putting sticky notes on everything she thought she deserved. My sister had requested only one item from my grandmother's house.

When my grandfather died my sister was very young. She knew my grandmother didn't work. She was worried my grandmother would not have enough money. She cleaned out her piggy bank and gave my grandmother all she had. It was a small handful of coins. My grandmother put it on her dining hutch in a jar and it stayed there for nearly 30 years. None of us were allowed to touch that jar. Everyone in the family knew the story about the jar and the coins.

My aunt took the jar. She claimed she did not know what happened to it, as she did with many of the items, including paintings my grandmother did. We knew better. It was not worth the argument at the time. We chose our battles.

Even when my grandmother was on her deathbed, my aunt started clearing out items out of her room. My F, who is very docile, told her to stop, that their M was not dead yet. But, he also made it very clear that my sister would get to take whatever she wanted as she has nothing of my grandmother's. She wanted a small table. I took the painting above her bed that she did. My aunt did not dare to argue with him. She knew he was not going to back down this time.

When my great aunt went into a nursing home we saw similar behaviors. The post it notes, etc. She was like a vulture. Yet, once the place was cleaned out and she saw there was no more to have, she then decided she did not want to have to make the decisions about care, etc. It has fallen on my F and luckily my M, his B and my aunt have all stepped up to deal with the hard decisions. My dad's sister - she is there only when it benefits her.

My aunt holds little space in my heart. She is not as dramatic as the other aunt, but I can't say I love seeing her. She is just self-centered and I have no room in my life for her. More toxicity and negativity.

But, I also have tons of wonderful aunts, uncles and cousins that make up for the 2 aunts. LOL. Like I said - very large extended family so the odds of a couple of duds was inevitable ;)
« Last Edit: April 14, 2018, 06:10:54 PM by MourningDove »

Offline stillbaffled

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Re: Reassembling - is there a manual?
« Reply #41 on: April 15, 2018, 06:12:22 AM »
She took the jar?!?!   >:(     

Does this woman have children?  And if so, do they lack compassion and morality as well? 

Nice to hear that you have lots of extended family that are good people! 

It's snowing here again today.   :(      I talked to my oldest son last night (who lives within 20 miles of Thunder) and he said 8 inches had already fallen so I'm still better off than Thunder is! 

After all, tomorrow is another day.
Together 16 years - married 6
BD - 1/1/16
His divorce final 7/16
Married OW - 7/17
a consistent semi-vanisher in the same small town

Online MourningDoveTopic starter

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Re: Reassembling - is there a manual?
« Reply #42 on: April 15, 2018, 02:01:14 PM »
stillbaffled - yes, my horrid aunt actually took the jar and then had the audacity to say she would give my sister something else in exchange. The jar had no value. My aunt is very selfish and materialistic - always has been. But, once she married my uncle it became far worse. He too, was materialistic and narcissistic.

My aunt has brief moments of compassion and being human, but they are few and far between. I speak to her, but I try to spend as little time as possible with her.

She had a bright future as a writer, but chose to marry my uncle. It has never been a happy marriage. My F and I are convinced that my aunt's need for material things is a byproduct of trying to find happiness in things instead of looking at herself. My aunt is a bitter, unhappy victim. She likes to tell people that there was no money for her to go to college. I don't think I ever saw my grandmother get mad except when she heard that come out of my aunt's mouth. My grandmother raised her voice, something that was very rare and told my aunt to quit feeling sorry for herself. The reality was my aunt only wanted to get married and took the money my grandparents had saved for her education and she ran off with my uncle. They spent it and then ended up in financial troubles early in the marriage.

Her situation of taking my uncle back without doing any mirror work herself has been a very good example for me. My uncle didn't do any work and in his case never will. They come to family events but often will not even ride in the same vehicle for the short drive because they cannot get along. No thank you.

As for children - yes she has a son and a daughter. They are, no surprise, a bit messed up. Her S - I limit my contact with him. He is a carbon copy of his parents. The daughter we take in small doses. She is brilliant, but always has a conspiracy theory going, etc. She is a bit much. That said, she also has the biggest heart one could ask for. She has worked with people with special needs for years. The group of clients she works with have more than just minor needs. Some have gotten violent and she has suffered a broken nose and arm at the hands of a couple of them over the years. She shrugs it off and understands that they cannot help it in most cases. She is loved by the clients and the staff. So, even with some of her odd theories, my sister and I always acknowledge she at least does not share my aunt or uncle's materialistic side.

We got a tiny bit of snow and the trees were layered with ice. But, by the end of the week it is supposed to go back up to higher 50's.

I was a bit concerned earlier.

The dog needed to go out for a walk. She was not happy that I did not take her out first thing this morning for our usual walk. It was way too icy. In fact, when I let the one cat out the look on his face as he slid across the sidewalk was one that clearly was "WTF"?? He came back in rather quickly.

By noon, the sidewalk was clear, but the ice was still hanging on branches, etc. I took the dog for her usual walk, which in the morning when it is cold is a mile. She would stay out all day if I let her. She loves the snow and cold. Normally, I can do the walk with the dog in 20 minutes, even with her sniffing about. Today, she clearly felt the need to check every blade of grass. I was out for over and hour.

As I passed my parent's house, I noticed the morning paper was still in the box and their lights were off. I knew they weren't planning on going anywhere until much later and even that was up in the air. So I called them on my cell phone.
My F picked up. He had been napping. That doesn't surprise me, but I asked if everything was okay since the newspaper was still in the box. My M is always up at 6 am and out to get the paper first thing. Her day starts the minute she is up. My F, on Sundays, he will read the paper and then watch Sunday Morning faithfully. He then will go out to the studio. Come in for lunch and then nap. He had watched his program, but was already napping. Hmmm. What shocked me was he said my M was napping. My M doesn't nap. We have to beg her to rest when she is sick. He asked where I was on my walk and I said I would stop back on my way through.

The newspaper was still there when I got there. My M was groggy. I knew what was up - the stress from the week caught up with her. Add the stress of worrying about my sister and her family as they were supposed to fly home today from Florida. They weren't sure where they were flying into now as many flights were being cancelled or rerouted.

I sat with both of them for awhile. My M has been replaying the last conversation they had with our friend. She brought up the "exit plan" he had and was concerned he had taken his own life. I know I had told her all of this the other day, but so much was going on at that time it didn't filter in. I assured her I was able to speak to the coroner and it was ruled natural causes from his illness. She still seemed to be working through it in her head and when I told her that if there had been any question he would still be in the morgue and not at a funeral home. The stress seemed to lift a bit.

We talked about what we have now learned about the estate. The attorney is attacking this and will make this as easy as possible for us so that we don't have to go down to Florida countless times. She was already setting some things in motion that will help to get his ashes and maybe some closure for my parents in particular.

My F went out to the studio and I popped in to see him. He mentioned that my M is taking this really hard. What is funny is this friend and my M would battle constantly. They both liked to cook and this friend would often take over the kitchen. When they cooked together, the rest of us scattered. It was better to stay out of their way.

My F looked older today - he has aged suddenly this week. Someone else mentioned it to me as well who saw him earlier in the week. He still does not look like he is 80, but he always looked like he was in his mid-60s. Today, he looked 80. I suspect the gleam in his eye will come back and he will be back to his old self. Shocking to see him today though. It is amazing what stress does to a person.

Offline Mortesbride

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Re: Reassembling - is there a manual?
« Reply #43 on: April 16, 2018, 02:53:01 AM »
I think it is very sweet your grandmother kept the jar of coins for 30 years. What a way to preserve a simple act of kindness.  :)

I am not surprised by your Aunt sadly. When my dad passed away it was like the vultures descended. People fighting over things that were expensive. All wanting their share of the pie. It made me sick to be honest.

Even when I later got a life insurance settlement my father left me, I couldn't cash the check for nearly 6 months because it felt like blood money. Getting paid for the death of your parent. It wasn't until I changed my perspective to see it as my dad looking after me even when he was gone that I used it to get a house. When I bought the house I was so grateful and said a little prayer of thanks to my dad.

The only thing I ever wanted from my dad's house was a painting that had hung in my grandmother's house, then in his house. Worth nothing materially, but everything sentimentally. I never got it, and it hasn't been seen since.  :-\

My two sisters lived within 1 hour of him when he was on his death bed. In 2 years they both came to visit 2 times. On THEIR birthday and Christmas (for money/gifts). They didn't call or talk to him unless they wanted something. I lived in the UK and flew over to see him 2 times, and I skyped with him every other day.

Some people are just selfish and materialistic. Life is about what they can get, and emotions don't matter. Let's just be glad we aren't in that club. :)

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: Reassembling - is there a manual?
« Reply #44 on: April 16, 2018, 04:17:12 AM »
I guess everyone has one or two of "those" relatives in the family... For me it is my brother and one of my cousins... I guess, in the end though, they will get what they deserve and the karma bus will do a drive-by (You'll be driving it, right Mort?)   It is sad though...

And yes, Dove, stress can do a number on any of us...
Me - 54
MLC - 47
Together 20 years - Married for 17 at separation
S - 11
D - 7
2 Canines (each of us has one)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold and separated - March 2016
Mid-Lifer is initiating D

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Offline Mortesbride

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Re: Reassembling - is there a manual?
« Reply #45 on: April 16, 2018, 09:28:37 AM »
Of course  8)

Online MourningDoveTopic starter

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Re: Reassembling - is there a manual?
« Reply #46 on: April 16, 2018, 10:41:07 AM »
Mortesbride - my grandmother was a very sweet, yet strong woman. She overcame all sorts of hardships, so she had little tolerance for the victim mode. I am not sure where my aunt (her daughter) got her personality from. Nature or nurture - who knows  ::)

UrsaMajor - I know people who try to tell me their whole family is wonderful and perfect. LOL - I always want to know what potion they are drinking or lies they are telling themselves. We all have at least "one" of those relatives we shake our head and wonder where they came from. LOL

I have learned, probably even more after MLC, to distance myself from those people. I don't want the negativity. I am not unkind to them, but I don't go out of my way to interact with them. My F's sister if I see her at the grocery store, I try and do a quick hello and ask about her kids or grandchildren. Beyond that, I try not to engage. I have even been known to go down another aisle if I see her and she does not see me. Maybe not very kind of me, but it keeps me happy. LOL

Last night I got a call out of the blue from my coworker at the gallery. She needed a favor. Her grandson needs an MRI. It doesn't sound good. I told her I would cover for her as long as she needed me to. She hasn't told anyone else and I told her I would hold it in confidence as I do with anything she tells me. TBH - I really would have rather stayed home and addressed some of my own things, but this is not a "hey, I want to go shopping" request. This is one of those moments that my time at the gallery will help her. It may mean I have a late night tonight, but that is okay. So many people have helped me along the way, I feel it is important to pay it forward at times.

She called me to thank me and I could hear her holding back tears.

She is a woman who had a run of bad situations with her marriages. Her first H beat her. She left him. She remarried and her second H became depressed. Killed himself. She met a wonderful man and they were married for 25 years. He ended up boarding the MLC train and ran off with a 25 year old. He wanted to come back, but she knew it was only because he was kicked out of the 25 year old's life.

She is not bitter. She has done a huge amount of introspective work on herself. She has had boyfriends. She is close to her children and grandchildren. She travels. She is not a victim. She has been a good friend to me during all of this MLC madness. She knew XH prior to MLC. She was shocked the last time she saw him when he popped in to see me last year. She just shook her head with a knowing look of he had gone over the bend.

My M told me a story yesterday that she has been holding on to. For whatever reason, she wanted to finally let it out. I am not even sure how the conversation came about. XH had called her last year. She never told my F the full conversation and never will. XH said he wanted a divorce and I wasn't giving in. My M told him that the law did not stop him from filing on his own. He then said he even had a fling (his words) and that didn't even make me file. My M said if he was having an affair to get me to divorce him then why did he hide it? He basically was trying to get me to file.

I laughed, but I was a bit angry. I always knew he wanted me to file. He wanted me to be the bad guy. Then when I finally did, he told everyone he wanted a separation - maybe things would change.

Ultimately, it changes nothing. It just sat strangely with me yesterday.

Last night before going to bed I got another notification. There had been a very bad accident not too far from my house. The young man driving, I don't recognize his name and he will be okay. His passenger - I know. Not well, but I recognized the name and knew this morning I was going into a classroom where there would be kids who know the young woman. She is in bad shape.

I cannot imagine being a parent getting that call. Waiting in a hospital room and hoping that she survives. I did not sleep well thinking about that idea. I texted my S at length and then gave my D a huge hug. Of course, she was beyond miserable last night, but she put up with a hug.

Might explain my feisty mood a bit this morning. But, in all honesty, it is more than that. I am tired of people not paying attention. Hearing what they only want to. Not listening at all. Others playing the victim.

I am sure some of it came off of another nugget yesterday that was already bugging me. Life is not always black and white. Nor are the answers always simple. What works in one situation may not work in others.

I know there are plenty of people who had well meaning advice in my case. I took the advice from others who had been through what I have. Similar situations and dealing with monsters. I looked at my own experiences with my students, seeing how shattered families can affect them.

For me, the common thread was I was going to protect my kids the best way that I could and give them stability. I was fortunate - they were under my roof. I had a support system who had my back, who the kids listened to. My XH's family was not able to really get in close. If they had been around there were several who would have used this as an opportunity to control things and somehow make it into enemy factions. To protect their family name - as if it was a game. It is sickening to watch. It goes back to people, like my own aunt - people who look to only themselves.

This morning I must admit I was in fight and protect mode.

My coworker had more trouble this weekend. He was smiling when I came in and asked about my weekend. I could tell he was happy to have something "normal" this morning, but I knew I was going to have to pick up the loose ends if need be. I was okay with that. He is usually "bad cop". He is quite good at it and the kids respect him. They don't expect it from me as quickly and that is also good.

"Body Like a Backroad" is an athlete and my joker. He came in today and was on his phone. I asked him to put it away 3 times. He was not being obstinate on purpose, just sucked in. He was walking back to his desk and I beaned him in the head with a marker. (I did not hurt him). It startled him and he laughed at my aim. I informed him if I had aimed and put any effort into it he would have known it. The phone was put away and he behaved. My coworker was just coming back in the room when I did that. We both know that this student was the one student I could do that to and he would get it. I don't usually go throwing things. He joked with me the rest of the class saying he needed to be more alert and I was just giving him training for his new position as a lacrosse goalie.

My mood is lifting. But, I really don't have patience for stupid today. I have a bit of an attitude today. I know it and I will own it.

Online MourningDoveTopic starter

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Re: Reassembling - is there a manual?
« Reply #47 on: April 16, 2018, 08:23:47 PM »
My coworker at the gallery gave me a huge hug when she came in. I did not know what to say other than I would pray for her grandson. He is 13 and there is something very wrong with him at the moment. The MRI shows nothing. They meet with a neurologist next. I felt a bit helpless and simply told her whatever she needed from me, I would do my best to help her out if she needed me to take her time slots on a moment's notice.

I had to pick D up after a doctor's appointment and then it was off to teach my college class. Both kids decided to go tonight. The one security guard was cracking up as the kids ran ahead of me. He asked if they always got along so well. It wasn't always that way - there were moments, but yes, they have always gotten along pretty well.

Of course this meant they were in full velociraptor mode. I was not safe.  ::)

While I was on break I popped in to see the Philosophy professor. He is always good for a debate or often has a new poem on his door. So few people will talk to him because he is very intelligent and frankly scares people. If they got to know him they would find he has a very mischievous side and is great fun. Last year, he played a prank on my dear friend by calling her office and ordering Indian takeout. He is still waiting on his order and reminds me to let her know when I talk to her.

Our other coworker came out to chat. He was mumbling under his breath about how he has one student who is doing incredibly well in one class but is failing the other. The Philosophy professor and I have both encountered kids like this. We both laughed and said "good luck" with that as this student is one of those who cannot understand why she is failing. She has missed multiple classes in the one class but comes to the other. Her response was, "but I come to the other class and have never have missed one single class". They are completely different classes.

He was wrestling through this and asked the question of "am I missing something". I looked at the Philosophy prof and said I would explain it. He had a gleam in his eye and he knew I was coming back with some smart a$$ explanation. We were all in stitches when I used mathematics to explain that she was one of those students who believes her perfect attendance in one class and A combined with the poor grades and attendance in the other clearly average out to a C, which is in fact passing. It took my colleague a moment to follow along and then he said how foolish of him, of course this makes perfect sense. He laughed and asked how I knew so much. I told him that I dealt with type of logic in MLC land.  ::)

I went back in to my classroom and I encountered a student who was behaving like my junior this morning. I had given a step by step demo last week. I asked them this week if they needed a review. Nope. So I set off to help each student. One student asked me for help. Fine. Except when I was showing him something he was checking the texts on his phone. I didn't say anything (I had wished I had a marker to bean him with). I simply started to walk away. I was in no mood. He seemed surprised. He said he still did not understand. I walked away and said maybe his friend he was texting caught the information. He was nine shades of red. It was the last of the phone. I did get around to help him a second time. I didn't rub it in and he stayed late working on his project. It is a good thing as I was in no mood to deal with more nonsense.

The kids were there to witness part of my class. They were both smiling after I finished and said I clearly love my students. I do - most of the time.  ::)

On the way home my phone was buzzing away. One of the texts was a bulleted list from XH. Oh, how he loves those in MLC. His B is not doing well and he doesn't expect him to last the week. I said I was sorry to hear that.

He then asked for information about D's college. I said I would gladly send it on but I did not have an email address for him. I was going to forward the information, but thought better of it. If I had it would have had the original emails on there and he did not need to know the correspondence dates and questions I had about my income as the custodial parent. I sent it and he seemed to want to text longer. Nope - I am okay.

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: Reassembling - is there a manual?
« Reply #48 on: April 17, 2018, 03:04:57 AM »
Quote from: MourningDove
On the way home my phone was buzzing away. One of the texts was a bulleted list from XH. Oh, how he loves those in MLC. His B is not doing well and he doesn't expect him to last the week. I said I was sorry to hear that.

He then asked for information about D's college. I said I would gladly send it on but I did not have an email address for him. I was going to forward the information, but thought better of it. If I had it would have had the original emails on there and he did not need to know the correspondence dates and questions I had about my income as the custodial parent. I sent it and he seemed to want to text longer. Nope - I am okay.

Boomerang alert!!! some just take a while longer to complete the outward leg..   ::)  Duck and Cover...

Good shot with the marker!  I had a band teacher do that to me once too but I was reading a book and not playing with a phone (they didn't exist yet :o - I AM that old! :D)  and he winged his baton at me..... I NEVER read in band again unless it was the music! ....
Me - 54
MLC - 47
Together 20 years - Married for 17 at separation
S - 11
D - 7
2 Canines (each of us has one)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold and separated - March 2016
Mid-Lifer is initiating D

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online MourningDoveTopic starter

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Re: Reassembling - is there a manual?
« Reply #49 on: April 17, 2018, 08:58:12 AM »
Yes, UrsaMajor, it would seem the boomerang is back. I am going to duck and hopefully it flies back and whacks him in the head.


D has made her college decision. We will send in the deposit. I have no idea how we are going to make it happen in the long run, but I told her the offer this college put out there is still better than she would get anywhere else. It may mean loans, but the price is not obscene at this point. I told her if I have to take on more work I will do whatever I can to help her. She has some responsibility in this - she has to contribute and will, but I will do what my parents did for me and give some help where I can for both kids.

I sent XH the document as an attachment of the college's financial offer. I didn't include my original email to the counselor, etc. I figured he did not get to ride on the coattails of my hard work. Additionally, he does not get to see all of my income and potential contributions. He lost his right to that in the divorce. He is not being excluded from the offer, but if he wants me to play nice he will have to prove he is in for the long haul as far as the kids are concerned. His actions will determine my benevolence at this point.

It is not to be a b!tch, but it is protecting myself. I have worked hard to help D and D has worked her butt off to get to this point. XH has done little to help. In fact, he has tried to derail this enough that I just don't trust him. And now with his B not doing well, I know what his temperament will be. He will no doubt be in full monster mode again. We do not need the monster stirring the pot with college counselors, etc and making enemies. D needs all the support she can get while at college. I know from experience how much her teachers have helped her get where she is now and it was not by her parents pissing them off.

As that email went out I thought how odd it was. I never imagined when the kids were little that this is how XH and I would be planning for their college education. Yet, somehow there was no real emotion attached to it beyond acceptance. No anger, nor sadness. I didn't go on thinking about it for long. I attached the document and sent it out and that is really the extent of the thought. Only this morning when D mentioned something to me did it resurface. But, then too it seemed almost clinical.

My friend's estate should be cleared fairly quickly. We have no idea where it all shakes out. From what the attorney says the medical bills, etc are covered. She said arrangements were also put in place so that we may not have to travel at all to Florida. I wouldn't mind a vacation, but going to deal with this would not exactly be a vacation.

I thought I was going to need a whole box of markers this morning at first. The students were off the wall. My coworker walked in and as we were talking he asked how my day was yesterday. I recounted what happened. His eyes got big and he calculated I had put in a nearly 18 hour day between getting up and going to bed. I had prep work to do when I got home. I shrugged and told him that was a bit longer than my usual Monday. It was a long day, yet somehow I am okay today. I don't mind long hours if they are productive and I am able to accomplish something.

The students changed their whole tone when we brought in the components that they could dismantle for their found object mural. They were all over pulling apart computers and mechanical things. They were having a blast. The ideas just started to flow from them. My coworker and I both shot each other a look, both knowing this was the spark we have wanted for them - that passion they lack. That creativity and ability to imagine without judgement.

The kid whose F we are sure gives him a few "licks" was working on something else. He asked for my help with it last week. I had brought him carbon paper to use yesterday. His group scrapped that idea and he felt bad that I had taken the time to search for carbon paper. Today when he asked for some other help I was happy to work with him. He has been afraid to ask for help. As we worked along he was doubting his abilities. We were working with colored pencils. I told him that he had the ability, just has never been shown how. I spent a good amount of time showing him how to build up color.

It always amazes me how the walls sometimes drop during these times. He just started talking about his dog and his grandmother, who he adores. I saw him limping this morning. I knew better than to ask when he first came in. As we sat, I asked if he was okay - I noticed the limp. He wrenched his back. He went on to tell me his F is pushing him to be ready for football. He was just talking away with ease. I know how strong he is. His F wants him to get to a certain weight class for wrestling and has been having him train. He wrenched his back when he while deadlifting. He said he was okay at 400 lbs. But yesterday, his F pushed him to 450 lbs and he messed up his back. I know athletes push themselves, but I truly wanted to find something bigger than a marker to throw at his F. I simply told him to take it slow and maybe he needed to talk to the physical education teacher who body builds for some extra training. I know that teacher will help him, but will approach it with his brain first and not pure brawn. He thought that was a good idea - he likes the physical education teacher. When we finished he gave me a huge bear hug and said he really appreciated me bringing him the carbon paper even though he didn't end up using it.

Tonight I am off to a meeting about graduate school. I am not sure I can manage it financially or otherwise right now, but I received a "random" email a few weeks back at a time that it seemed like I needed to follow that path. Over the years I considered going back to school, but life always threw something into my way. When I look back, it was often things in XH's life that happened at those moments and I stepped in to support him. I am not saying this to be a victim - he needed me and I would make the same decisions in most cases. That was part of being a good partner. Now though, maybe it is my time. We will see. I am not sure this is really what I want or need. But there is no harm in looking.  :)

 

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