Author Topic: My Story Snuff 2  (Read 1832 times)

Offline Never say never

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My Story Re: Snuff 2
« Reply #20 on: March 06, 2018, 12:00:05 AM »
BR, while I know the attention may be nice from another male, I would really tread carefully on that one.  You really need to think about the damage that could happen to another family.  In my case, the OW told me:  "Never, I know how you feel.  My husband cheated on me and it took me four years to get over it." :o :o  Seriously?  How can another woman do to me what happened to her.

It's just my opinion, but I wouldn't go there right now with a ten-foot pole.  I feel very bad for that woman right now.

As for your daughter, that is a tough one on how to deal with it.  Unless you fear for her safety, truly fear that she is in a dangerous situation, I would leave things as they are.  Is it time to move to a different counselor?  With the laws how they are, I am not sure how much the therapist can confide in you.  If she is not being totally honest with her, then maybe it is time to change things up.

Right now, Blue, you have enough on your plate than to engage in more drama, in my opinion.  Please think about that.

xoxo

Offline KeepItTogether

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Re: Snuff 2
« Reply #21 on: March 07, 2018, 09:20:52 AM »
Blue I know you are hurting so much. And my heart aches for you and all other LBS. And that includes that poor woman and her children that you saw. I know you don't want to be a party to the destruction of yet another family. This damaged human may be giving you attention, but I suspect his feelings do not run very deep for you, or anyone else for that matter right now. How disrespectful to bring his family in to your place of work, and then flirt with you and get your phone number. Disrespectful to YOU and his wife.

Now, this next part is from a place of love and understanding.  All those things you write about your H's OW. Those terrible names you give her. What a horrible person she is. Remember all that.  I won't judge you at all--that is not my place. And I believe you are a kind and loving person who would never intentionally hurt another human, especially in the way you have been hurt. And you are going to do what you are going to do. Just think about it. Really think about it. 

Hugs friend
Me 46
H 45
S11
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo.

Offline blueroseTopic starter

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Re: Snuff 2
« Reply #22 on: March 11, 2018, 10:10:52 AM »
    Never and kit,
           I dont think i would have the balls to let it go far but its the things he has said that sound so much like what the coward has listed as his reasons for leaving that grab my attention. I want to get into his head. I need to understand all this. Its so hard to explain. I know that he isnt trustwothy and likes drama and that is really a turn off.  I want to know what they say to the ow. If it really is all script. So far, what he has told ne he has said to his wife is. He texted me saturday afternoon. It was random and didnt make any sense. I think it was an attempt to start a conversation with me. I did not answer. I have heard that him and wife run around on each other. My boss at the bar pulled up her fb and she put men as her intetest. What married woman does that?
      D13 went eith the coward today. I again noticed that instead of staying back in the driveway,as far away from the house as he can, he pulled up to my car as close as he could. Close to the house. I close the curtains when i know he is coming. When he pulled out of tbe driveway he pulled back farther than needed. He was driving the wh*r^s little car.. He lined himself up so he could see in the window. He couldnt of course. I know im probably analyzing this to much but its just weird to me. You know, the lityle things.
           I called s20 to ask him something and he is with d13 and the coward at the bowling ally. From what s20 said last week they hadnt even talked in quite sometime. Again weird. I really feel like he us up to something.

Offline Never say never

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Re: Snuff 2
« Reply #23 on: March 11, 2018, 05:28:52 PM »
BR ... you are not going to get into the head of this man right now at this stage of the game.  This is a 2 x 4 for you because it will not turn out well for you.

All of the information you need is here on this site ... along with articles and other tools.

This man sounds like he is in the throes of his own MLC.  He would be using you for whatever is going on in his head.  It sounds like he would tell you what you want to hear. 

BR, you are not going to learn anything from him.  I really worry about the damage that can happen here.

We are all here to support each other, but I don't like this.  I'm sorry ... I just don't :( :(

You will not be able to get into his head.  He can't even get into his own head.  Do you really want to be the OW???

Offline blueroseTopic starter

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Re: Snuff 2
« Reply #24 on: March 11, 2018, 05:41:10 PM »
    Never,
         I appreciate your concern. I really do. It is not my intention to be an ow. I dont want that. I just wonder why it was ok when a few people on here  wanted to pick the brain of an ow that posted on here whining about her married boyfriend and me wanting to pick a cheaters brain isnt?

Offline Nas

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Re: Snuff 2
« Reply #25 on: March 13, 2018, 09:58:18 AM »
Just catching up on things.  I'm going to slightly disagree with what others have said.  I think if you are careful not to get emotionally involved and you are completely up front when talking to him, you could glean some good insight (example, "Hey cheating married dude, I would never have a relationship with a married man, my H cheated on me, I think cheating is a form of abuse and causes so much hurt and I wonder why you think it's okay...")
Married 8 years at BD, together 16.
BD March 2015
H moved out July 2015
I found out about OW March 2016 (She went to high school with H, long distance EA since September 2014, became PA November 2015)
H moved 1100 miles to live with OW June 2016
I was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer June 2017
H became a vanisher

Offline blueroseTopic starter

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Re: Snuff 2
« Reply #26 on: March 13, 2018, 11:05:49 AM »
    Thank you Nas,
           He is attractive and the attention is nice but when he hugs me , i feel nothing. I just am curious about what they say to ow about the wife and how they go about it. I want answers from the coward that i know that i will probably never get and i think this might help me. I dont know how it will but i just feel like some people come into our lives for a reason and this might be the reason.

Online Thunder

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Re: Snuff 2
« Reply #27 on: March 13, 2018, 02:16:22 PM »
Blue, who picked the brain of the ow?  That's as scary as scary gets.

Both of them will make no sense.  That why they find each other.  Two cra cra's together.

I would agree with Nas, IF you weren't attracted to him, but you are.

I think Anjae picks the brains of her MLC male friends, but I think they are just friends, as far as I know.

Everyone just cares about you, Blue.
Hugs
With her permission, a quote from a recovered MLCer: 
From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did.

Offline shimmerofhope

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Re: Snuff 2
« Reply #28 on: March 13, 2018, 03:02:55 PM »
If you found him disgustingly ugly would you still want to pick his brain?  I haven't read your backstory on this guy but is is there other evidence of mlc  or could he just be a flirt or cheater. How do you know he is mlc? Does he have other signs? Please don't think I'm judging. I find myself in a similar situation. A guy I work with tends to flirt with me. He s married of course. I like the attention but I don't think I would act on it. He is attractive. But if I didn't find him atttactive, I would not allow the flirting. So I guess I'm not as innocent here as I thought. In my mind, i think he flirts to be nice nothing more. I would not want to be part of hurting another family.
« Last Edit: March 13, 2018, 03:44:08 PM by shimmerofhope »
Together 15
Married 14
Bd-nov. 2014
Divorced April 1 2016. Date is fitting for the fool!
Ow 1 ea done
Ow 2 psycho rich  married woman PA
Ow3 obviously desperate putting up with lies and ow2
stalking. PA
Affair down on all of them. They all knew he was married.
H-48 he is such a prize at this point. Let them fight over him. Lol
Me 48 GAL, loving God and who I'm becoming.
I cycle but I get stronger each time it passes.

Offline Milly

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Re: Snuff 2
« Reply #29 on: March 13, 2018, 04:34:35 PM »
The one thing that stands out to me is how vulnerable we are when we're suffering. We find reasons to justify attention we receive because we really need some. We're lonely, attractive, nice people and we just want to be wanted, hugged, noticed. When I think of it this way, I see how my H got involved. He still had a choice, but it's not easy to think straight when we're not in a strong place to begin with.
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D23, D20, S13
OW Physical Affair. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 50 last year.

 

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