Author Topic: My Story Snuff 2  (Read 1817 times)

Offline shimmerofhope

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 392
  • Gender: Female
My Story Re: Snuff 2
« Reply #90 on: April 16, 2018, 05:41:06 PM »
If they are swingers that's one thing. You are all consenting adults. But if he is cheating, you become the problem not the solution. Can you face your d. Could you face his children? What kind of man takes his family into the place where his potential ow works? He may be attractive but he's a cheating jerk. Like I said, if this is consensual between ALL players, there is no problem. If not, it comes with alot of consequences. I hope you think this through. I personally want to be the only woman in my man's life. Just as soon as I get one. Lol.  I really wish the best for you. 
« Last Edit: April 16, 2018, 05:42:26 PM by shimmerofhope »
Together 15
Married 14
Bd-nov. 2014
Divorced April 1 2016. Date is fitting for the fool!
Ow 1 ea done
Ow 2 psycho rich  married woman PA
Ow3 obviously desperate putting up with lies and ow2
stalking. PA
Affair down on all of them. They all knew he was married.
H-48 he is such a prize at this point. Let them fight over him. Lol
Me 48 GAL, loving God and who I'm becoming.
I cycle but I get stronger each time it passes.

Online Thunder

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 16476
  • Gender: Female
Re: Snuff 2
« Reply #91 on: April 17, 2018, 02:30:31 AM »
Blue, sometimes a spouse's MLC triggers the other spouse to have a crisis too.

I hope that's not what's happening.  I wish you well.
With her permission, a quote from a recovered MLCer: 
From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did.

Online Whyus

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1855
  • Gender: Male
Re: Snuff 2
« Reply #92 on: April 17, 2018, 04:04:53 AM »
this is so sad Blue,
we are all here for you and can feel the pain and dissapointment in your last post...
IF they are swingers then swing away but with his W too.... If he is a cheating scumbag then please dont go anywhere near him. He is no better than your H and that is not the type of Person you Need to be around right now.

What would your lovely D13 think if she were to find out???
I hope that you read what we are writting, you are not alone.
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 44
W: 44
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28. Trainings partner. Still together
2 Sons - 18 & 19
2 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Filed

Offline Milly

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1062
  • Gender: Female
Re: Snuff 2
« Reply #93 on: April 17, 2018, 12:12:45 PM »
Just catching up, Blue. You're in so much pain and since you're preaching to the choir here we absolutely know how painful the heart ache is. Maybe I'm wrong, but could going with a married man feel a little bit like getting back at your H? Maybe a little bit of comfort in being able to show him that another married man does want you? Does find you attractive? I have had the desire to get back at my H, although I hadn't considered going with a married man, but I did consider finding a very young man to show my H that I was attractive to young people just like he was to what we thought was his young OW.

I think when we're really hurting bad, just like when someone is about to take their life, they can't think of anyone else's emotions because they're overwhelmed. Just like a parent can commit suicide in spite of adoring their kids who will survive them and be in terrible pain. At the moment when the pain is too much that person goes numb and acts to remove the pain as quickly as possible, whatever the consequences. It's like looking at one self from the outside - it's not me.

I think you are in terrible pain and just want it over with right now. But you've found the forum and all of us here so that means that you're strong, you wanted to learn how to handle your pain, not like your H and all our Hs who just ran to escape that pain. Here we are wishing we could reach out and give them our advice to help them through their pain so that they would stop destroying everything that matters to them. You, however, do have us. You found us all by yourself. You are much more capable than you think.

And to go back to the post that triggered you, your H telling his young friend in front of your D that the rotten OW was really looking forward to the fishing trip, to me from the outside, it sounded so much like a teenager showing off to his buddy that his naughty girl was excited to do something with him.

I bet your H squirmed inside as he said those words in front of your D, but he had to look cool in front of young buddy. I wouldn't be surprised that the OW is not looking forward to going fishing, she's either doing it to please him, or because she 'heard' that you didn't go. Bet she's crap at it though and won't be wanting to go very often, or he'll have to spend a lot on her later to make up for the fishing part. That is not a healthy relationship.

Blue, if I could say one thing to you that you might hear, it would be that you are in pain because of no fault of your own. You have to learn to survive though, otherwise the next time you are faced with pain you still won't know how to survive it.

Please come her to us and let it all out. Big hugs,
Milly xxxx
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D23, D20, S13
OW Physical Affair. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 50 last year.

Offline Treasur

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3116
  • Gender: Female
Re: Snuff 2
« Reply #94 on: April 17, 2018, 12:42:28 PM »
We're here if you choose to come back, Blue.

I agree with Milly. You're in pain and you want the pain to go away. I hope that a bit of you knows that you're stronger and wiser and better than running from it this way. That you deserve better than this...but we'll be here for you anyway. x
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD)
No kids.
BD Oct 15. OW since Apr 16?
H filed Jan 17. Divorced April 18

Grateful for any appearance of the tiny karma bus  
"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg


SMF spam blocked by CleanTalk
Legal Disclaimer
The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (, and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.