Author Topic: My Story The Heart Of The Matter  (Read 2021 times)

Offline stillbaffled

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My Story Re: The Heart Of The Matter
« Reply #10 on: March 04, 2018, 07:41:16 PM »
Glad to hear you are mending from the fall.   I am also looking forward to spring break.  We have another storm hitting late tonight and tomorrow.  School is already cancelled for tomorrow. 

After all, tomorrow is another day.
Together 16 years - married 6
BD - 1/1/16
His divorce final 7/16
Married OW - 7/17
a consistent semi-vanisher in the same small town

Offline FaithWalkerTopic starter

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Re: The Heart Of The Matter
« Reply #11 on: March 04, 2018, 08:38:00 PM »
SB sounds like you guys have had a lot more snow.  We've barely got anything this year.  We had a little snow storm this morning on our way to Church, but it melted off by this afternoon.  Stay safe and warm and enjoy your snow day!
M-39
H-42
S-17
D-15
S-12
Friends for 7 years before dating
Married for 14 years
BD 12/14/15 - 2 weeks after 14th anniversary
Divorce final 4/13/16
EA - 9/15-4/16
New GF 12/16
Engaged to her 6/17 (I found out 8/10/17)
Moved to her State 4 States away - 7/13/17
Engagement off 8/20/17
Moved back to our State 8/24/17
Joined POF within the first month back


Link to my journey: 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9907.0#new

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Never become a container for bitterness.  Bitterness is a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

"Sometimes -- some things have to break all apart so better things can be built."

Offline FaithWalkerTopic starter

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Re: The Heart Of The Matter
« Reply #12 on: March 06, 2018, 06:39:21 PM »
This week has so far turned into a very, horrible, no good week.  Monday morning at 2:30 a.m. I woke up to D15 throwing up, and she didn't make it to the bathroom in time.  So, guess what I was doing at 2:30 in the morning?  You got that right.  Cleaning puke off her door, the hallway carpets and wall, and she even managed to get it into S17's clean laundry basket full of clothes that he'd left in the hallway.   :o  I don't have a great stomach for puke, but I held my breath and, although gagging, I managed to keep myself from throwing up.  After she got cleaned up and I got everything else cleaned up, she went back to bed and I threw my window wide open because I read somewhere that germs breed best in warm environments.  Thankfully, the rest of us have not got it, and hopefully it has passed.  She did stay home today as well, but just because she was still feeling a bit weak.

Today was a really bad day.  I can't get into details because this is a public forum, but I would say it's one of the worst days I've ever had.  Right up there with BD.  Although, BD might have had me more prepared for today than I would have been in the past.  Today, I would have loved to have had "my person".  I needed someone who was team Faith today.  Thankfully, my coworkers, my BF and my SIL were sympathizers.  Honestly, when all was said and done, and the day was over, it could have been much, much worse.  But I certainly wanted a do over today, so that things would have gone differently.  I'm traumatized, and I didn't need any more trauma.  I've had enough.

2 more days until 10 days off.  I'm counting down.  SIL says that Friday night she will have the hot tub and wine ready.  She offered for me to come tonight, but I told her that I would hold off until Friday.
M-39
H-42
S-17
D-15
S-12
Friends for 7 years before dating
Married for 14 years
BD 12/14/15 - 2 weeks after 14th anniversary
Divorce final 4/13/16
EA - 9/15-4/16
New GF 12/16
Engaged to her 6/17 (I found out 8/10/17)
Moved to her State 4 States away - 7/13/17
Engagement off 8/20/17
Moved back to our State 8/24/17
Joined POF within the first month back


Link to my journey: 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9907.0#new

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Never become a container for bitterness.  Bitterness is a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

"Sometimes -- some things have to break all apart so better things can be built."

Offline FearNot

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Re: The Heart Of The Matter
« Reply #13 on: March 06, 2018, 07:20:21 PM »
FW-
I am sorry that today was a terrible day. I hope that you are ok. I wish I could grant you a do over! Hang in there. Thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers. I hope your D feels better soon, I too am one who can't handle vomit. Good on ya for cleaning it up without losing it yourself!! :o
M 46
H 39
No Kids
Married 5yrs, Together 11yrs
BD Oct 31/17
ILYBINILWY Dec 21/17
2nd BD- Dec 27/17
OW-Confirmed Jan 3/17

"It's ok to be scared. Being scared means you're about to do something really, really brave." Anonymous

Online Treasur

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Re: The Heart Of The Matter
« Reply #14 on: March 06, 2018, 11:06:09 PM »
I'm sorry you had a bad day/week too, Faith. I get that feeling about 'Team Faith'....if it helps, we're all paid up members  :)
Big hug. Hope today is a good one x
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD)
No kids.
BD Oct 15. OW since Apr 16?
H filed Jan 17. Divorced April 18

Grateful for any appearance of the tiny karma bus  
"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: The Heart Of The Matter
« Reply #15 on: March 07, 2018, 12:29:13 AM »
One of "those" days, huh? I'm sorry!  I think that, while we all have them once in a while, occasionally, one just takes a bigger whack at us.... But, it is over, you made it through...

Two things that wake me up faster than my alarm clock... the sound of a puking child and the sound of a puking dog... I hear you there... NO fun at all....

Wine and Hot Tub.. Now THAT sounds like a good plan and something to look forward to....
Me - 54
MLC - 47
Together 20 years - Married for 17 at separation
S - 11
D - 7
2 Canines (each of us has one)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold and separated - March 2016
Mid-Lifer is initiating D

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online Whyus

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Re: The Heart Of The Matter
« Reply #16 on: March 07, 2018, 12:51:50 AM »
Im sorry that you had a rotten day FW. If you cant even write about it then it must have been hard.
Sending you strength from over the Pond, I hope that your ok. Your a lovely Person, just stay as you are.
Your Kids Sound awesome BUT they are old enough to help you around the house a Little... My S18 is the same, lazy but when I say "Do this, do that" he does it.. if I say nothing then he sees nothing! Typical for an 18 year old...

Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 44
W: 44
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28. Trainings partner. Still together
2 Sons - 18 & 19
2 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Filed
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0
T10. http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9547.0

Offline Acorn

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Re: The Heart Of The Matter
« Reply #17 on: March 07, 2018, 04:17:56 AM »
(((((((HUGS)))))))) first, FW...
It sounds like your day way too early and with so much to do.  I hope your D feels better.  Better out than in.  A lot of work for you to clean up all that mess but you did it like a champ.

With all the you went through today on top of the early morning drama, I’m relieved that you had some support from people around you.  Your SIL sounds like an angel... 

I hope you are feeling much better now.
Please let us know.
Feb 2015: H has a Nuclear meltdown.  A tear-fest.  The next morning arctic cold descends.
Oct 2015: ILYBIANILWY
Apr 2016: Affair discovered
Still home

Offline KeepItTogether

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Re: The Heart Of The Matter
« Reply #18 on: March 07, 2018, 08:38:57 AM »
Oooooh rough start to the day. Well, one thing MLC has taught us is to adapt better right?  Anyway, glad that is behind you.

I'm loving the story about your S17 moving your pictures! LOL--that sounds like something my S would do.
Me 46
H 45
S11
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo.

Online Puzzled

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Re: The Heart Of The Matter
« Reply #19 on: March 07, 2018, 01:01:01 PM »
Dear Faith,

Sorry to hear that you had an awful day.  Including you in my prayers and sending hugs,

Puzzled
Me: 46 (43 at BD1)
H: 52 (48 at BD1)
D: 9 (6 at BD1)
Met in 1995, married since 2000
BD 1: August 2014
BD 2: October 2015, moved abroad

 

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