Author Topic: My Story Finally admitting I need support  (Read 975 times)

Online strawberryTopic starter

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My Story Re: Finally admitting I need support
« Reply #40 on: April 15, 2018, 04:41:01 PM »
This weekend has been especially hard for me.  No real reason.  Caught H in another lie, which doesn't surprise me and yet still stuns me each time.  It's also been made really clear to me where I rank with my closest friends.  My friend who lives far away will take me call any time I call, listen to me monkey brain and give me her thoughts without judgement.  My friend who lives near me no longer has time for me.  In the more than 10 years that we've been friends, she has only dated one person and he lived in Australia.  She just wasn't really interested in being tied to another person.  But if she needed something, I (and/or H) would drop what I was doing to help, no questions asked.  She started dating someone in the last year and he recently moved in.  She even gave up a room in her house for his 6 year old daughter (she never wanted kids.  Doesn't dislike them, just didn't want to be a mom).  Now if I need help, she is generally unavailable.  I told her 3 weeks ago that I needed help changing some lightbulbs (13 foot ceiling with a ladder that requires 3 hands to set up and lock in place).  She finally stopped by to help today but only because she needed me to pick up her share from the co-op yesterday and I refused to drive a half hour out of my way to take it to her house and put it away for her.  And really, her boyfriend helped while she kept looking at her watch.

As I reading this vent, I'm realizing just how hurt by her I am at this point.  Ironically, her boyfriend is more friendly and supportive at this point.  It's ironic because he and I butted heads about 4 months into dating when he broke up with her because he though his daughter didn't like her.  His kid actually adores her despite (or maybe because) she is pretty strict about boundaries with the kid.  Turns out kids actually do like structure.  Who knew.  Anyway, H and I were friends for many years before dating. I really felt like I married my best friend.  Now I feel like I've been rejected by 2 of my 3 close friends.

Online strawberryTopic starter

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Re: Finally admitting I need support
« Reply #41 on: April 16, 2018, 09:28:43 PM »
H is looking for a new apartment. He not only told me the name of the top two locations but even sent me a link to the webpage for his preferred location.  I guess he’s decided it’s okay for me to know where he lives now.  Progress?  Who knows.

Online Whyus

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Re: Finally admitting I need support
« Reply #42 on: April 17, 2018, 12:34:53 AM »
Hi Strawberry, just catching up with your thread.
it surely can be that your Hs Job ist the alienator here. He lives in the City, he has a lot of oportunities to meet somebody if he wanted so you will never really know. Ist the trust Thing again isnt it? Ist hard to trust a MLCer who constantly lies I know.
Please have no expectations but I personally think that your H sending you the links to his prefered Locations is HUGE!!! Just Keep on playing the Situation as you have been, your doing really well and those down days do happen to all of us but we know that we will come out of them stronger than before..
Ive always wanted chickens, im a Little jealous  8)
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 44
W: 44
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28. Trainings partner. Still together
2 Sons - 18 & 19
2 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Filed
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0
T10. http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9547.0

Online sada

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Re: Finally admitting I need support
« Reply #43 on: April 19, 2018, 07:30:36 AM »
Hi Strawberry, just letting you know I'm gonna read up on your thread today. So far what I've read brings back so many memories.  ttyl...
Sada
Me - 55
H - 54
Married 11 years, together 21
Apr 2014: PA discovered, ow 22 yrs younger
Jun 2014: Left home to live w OW
Aug 2014: Back home. "Sorry, made mistakes".
Late 2015: Ow2 (a couple of dates I think). Monster
  returned for several months 
Early 2016: Health scare, including major surgery, resulting in fog lifting some more.
Today: H progressing thru mlc positively.Not cooked but has remained home and reconciling
Arguments & disagreements less frequent
Enjoying our time together

 

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