Author Topic: My Story Eye On The Prize  (Read 2174 times)

Online hopeandfaith

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My Story Re: Eye On The Prize
« Reply #20 on: March 22, 2018, 12:52:01 AM »
I am with Acorn on the instinctive gesture from H.  Guess I am an incorrigible optimist too.

Love that you scored a new top.  Don't spill any wine on it!

I also have to say that I am pretty pleased with myself for working out what IIRC means  ;D

Happy Thursday KIT.  Hope you have found a suitable way to celebrate again.
BD's in May 09, Sept 12 - suspected OW
Left home Jan 12 2013
OW confirmed Feb 2013
Moved home April 11 2014
BD again in April 2017 - clinging. 
Moved out July 2017
D18, D16 and S14

Offline Milly

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Re: Eye On The Prize
« Reply #21 on: March 22, 2018, 01:06:41 AM »
Here too Kit!! Wouldn't miss your thread! Big laugh reading it! I would try for the car like Noe said!

My S wears the Nike dry fit shirts. They're very nice. Maybe your S could use it!
And love that you were drinking wine because it was Tuesday. I'm going to use this expression of yours!  xxx
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D23, D20, S13
OW Physical Affair. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 50 last year.

Offline Clara 12

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Re: Eye On The Prize
« Reply #22 on: March 22, 2018, 03:14:12 PM »
Welcome to your new thread KIT.

Anyway, the title to this thread is "Eye on The Prize" and that is supposed to be all about me re-focusing on my prize, S11.

The most precious in the world and do not forget you are his prize too. He will we so proud of such great mom!

Hugs KIT
XX
Married - 1995
BD March 2016 - ILYBINILWY
Jan 2017 - Left
May 2017 - OW discovered
Aug 2017 - Divorced

Online Mortesbride

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Re: Eye On The Prize
« Reply #23 on: March 24, 2018, 10:38:58 AM »
Just catching back up. :)

Offline FaithWalker

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Re: Eye On The Prize
« Reply #24 on: March 26, 2018, 09:42:39 PM »
Oh goodness KIT, wow, he is something else.   :P

Caught back up and following along.
M-39
H-42
S-17
D-15
S-12
Friends for 7 years before dating
Married for 14 years
BD 12/14/15 - 2 weeks after 14th anniversary
Divorce final 4/13/16
EA - 9/15-4/16
New GF 12/16
Engaged to her 6/17 (I found out 8/10/17)
Moved to her State 4 States away - 7/13/17
Engagement off 8/20/17
Moved back to our State 8/24/17
Joined POF within the first month back


Link to my journey: 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9907.0#new

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Never become a container for bitterness.  Bitterness is a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

"Sometimes -- some things have to break all apart so better things can be built."

Offline KeepItTogetherTopic starter

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Re: Eye On The Prize
« Reply #25 on: March 27, 2018, 04:01:40 PM »
Thank you all for following along and offering encouragement and advice. It means so much to me!

This am H tells me a parent from the lacrosse team we just played on Sunday lodged a complaint letter to the league chair about him. This is actually the other U12 team which is technically the same team bc there were so many kids, they had to split them up. So huge rivalry according to H. Well he has some anger issues (hello MLC)  and was yelling at the refs and muttering things under his breath (but loud enough so the stats keepers could hear). These are 10 and 11 year olds. He does get very loud.  He sent me the letter and it was pretty bad. I think there is some amount of sour grapes bc we did end up beating them.  But much of what she said was true. I didn’t get into it with H, just replied to his email with “Bitter much?” (Referring to the woman who wrote the letter)  And he replied “Yep.” Mostly bc I didn’t want to get into it with him, either way, I lose. I didn’t want to reward this behavior by engaging in a general discussion where he would then reiterate his position. But I also have no interest in being his mommy and telling him to play nice. So although he plays it off, as a pleaser I know this probably really upset him. And truthfully, as a coach, as a judge, and as a mature adult, he shouldn’t have made any of those remarks.

So I’m sure my non-engagement is more justification in his mind that I’m just not supportive. Whatevs. He’s been so non-communicative lately. He runs away as soon as he drops S11 after a game. He gives me a quick hug and cheek kiss. But I have no idea where he goes or what he does. Well I have my assumptions. Which are not good. I just wish I didn’t care at all.  He hasn’t even asked about Easter. And I don’t bring it up either. I know better now. I have plans with S11 and bought his Easter goodies. Who knows if H will acknowledge the holiday. I guess there is still a part of me that thinks he will. And then when he doesn’t I’m disappointed. But, that is getting better with every holiday that passes by. I think I definitely cycle down near holidays.

Anyway, thanks for following along.

« Last Edit: March 27, 2018, 04:24:23 PM by KeepItTogether »
Me 46
H 45
S11
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo.

Offline bluerose

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Re: Eye On The Prize
« Reply #26 on: March 27, 2018, 04:24:19 PM »
   They are crazy arent they kit. I also cycle on the holidays. There just a numbness there that wont go away.

Offline stillbaffled

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Re: Eye On The Prize
« Reply #27 on: March 27, 2018, 07:50:00 PM »

Thank you all for following along and offering encouragement and advice. It means so much to me!


I agree, KIT.  Having people bother to take the time to respond to our posts does mean a lot to some of us.     Even if folks just post a sentence or two I always am thankful that they offered some support. 

Judgy McCoach better get his yelling and muttering under control!   ;)
After all, tomorrow is another day.
Together 16 years - married 6
BD - 1/1/16
His divorce final 7/16
Married OW - 7/17
a consistent semi-vanisher in the same small town

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: Eye On The Prize
« Reply #28 on: March 28, 2018, 02:32:46 AM »
Ironically, it is the holidays when my Mid-Lifer ramps up the "BFF's and let's play Family" BS which usually ends up with my head in a knot....
Me - 54
MLC - 47
Together 20 years - Married for 17 at separation
S - 11
D - 7
2 Canines (each of us has one)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold and separated - March 2016
Mid-Lifer is initiating D

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Offline No expectations

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Re: Eye On The Prize
« Reply #29 on: March 28, 2018, 04:09:18 AM »
Hi KIT,

I don't know why your H felt the need to let you know about the complaint, but I agree, it was no win situation for you.  I think I would have done something similar.

As for Easter, I'm glad you have plans w S, let H do whatever...  And I understand holidays being hard.  We have so many years of traditions, and all of a sudden, they are all forgotten by MLC'er, and we either have to continue them and pretend we aren't hurt by their absence, or find new traditions without them.  Either way, it is tough.

Sending you a big Easter hug, my friend!
Married 10 1/2 years, together 17.  BD 9/2016, 2nd BD 10/16.  H moved out 10/16.  2 AS's from my first M.  Me 55, H 49.  OW 23.

"And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through; how you managed to survive.  You won't even be sure if the storm is really over.  But one thing is certain; when you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person that walked in...that's what this storm is all about."

"The trick is to enjoy life.  Don't wish away your days, waiting for better ones."

 

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