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Author Topic: Discussion Ask a Mentor 7

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Discussion Ask a Mentor 7
OP: October 22, 2013, 05:46:17 AM
PLEASE NOTE
Please  post on your own thread first and wait for responses, if no one responds then you should use the ask a mentor thread.

Please use this thread if you need immediate attention & if possible include a link to your story page. I.E. EMERGENCIES!



Discuss away!


previous threads:
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=3809.0
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=3763.0
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=3658.0
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=3535.0
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=2738.0
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=2220.0
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« Last Edit: October 22, 2013, 05:58:45 AM by OldPilot »

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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#1: October 25, 2013, 06:41:19 AM
I am needing some help I don't know how to attach my thread to my new one..

I was also talkin to the H this morning n he was apologizing for the things he had done wrong to me n our kids...he said he was feeling crazy and needed to take his meds.  Said he could use a psychiatrist..what do you say to that?  Now he is being funny..oh the ride the ride  :o :o any help would be nice..thank you
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H40
M36
Married 15yrs
Together 19yrs
BD Feb 2013
Ow confirmed March 29, 2013
Moved in with Ow Mar 29 2013
Moved home Dec 29, 2013
Left again Jan 17, 2014
Came Home Sep 14, 2014
She took a deep breath and let it go...
Aarows can only shot forward, by being pulled backwards

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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#2: October 25, 2013, 06:55:39 AM
Your two topics have been merged.
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"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

https://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/chapter-contents.html

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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#3: October 25, 2013, 06:57:53 AM
Thank you xyzcf ..I appreciate it
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H40
M36
Married 15yrs
Together 19yrs
BD Feb 2013
Ow confirmed March 29, 2013
Moved in with Ow Mar 29 2013
Moved home Dec 29, 2013
Left again Jan 17, 2014
Came Home Sep 14, 2014
She took a deep breath and let it go...
Aarows can only shot forward, by being pulled backwards

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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#4: October 25, 2013, 10:57:59 AM
I would absolutely encourage him towards it.  My xH saw a psych, and there are things about it that I think worked in a negative way.  BUT...I think it was more damaging that he stopped pursuing that path.  If I had it to do over again, I would have walked him to those appointments myself and gotten more involved. 

The fact that he's not just wanting a talk counselor and is open to meds I think is also a good sign.  He knows something is wrong at a chemical level.  That's a start!
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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#5: October 25, 2013, 11:29:19 AM
R2t..he takes the meds so he don't have to think.. when he don't take them that's when he starts feeling the guilt or remorse and he isn't ready ti feel that.  I can't do much while necks with Ow..I mean I try n be his friend and listen then it just draws me back in again n it hurts all over again. 

Like how he is admin me when n where my affair happened.  I think that is just powering him to stay gone n be mad longer.  I told him I would answer all the questions when he decided yo be an appropriate spouse..I'm sure that will loss him off .  Idk what to do??  What can I do?
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H40
M36
Married 15yrs
Together 19yrs
BD Feb 2013
Ow confirmed March 29, 2013
Moved in with Ow Mar 29 2013
Moved home Dec 29, 2013
Left again Jan 17, 2014
Came Home Sep 14, 2014
She took a deep breath and let it go...
Aarows can only shot forward, by being pulled backwards

C
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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#6: October 28, 2013, 11:32:44 AM
Hi,

Can someone help me.  I posted this morning, two different things and wanted to know how I should react to this situation.  Don't know how to link my thread.  I am Nat45.  Thanks.
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OW="Dung Beetle" she is pushing around poop like it's a real treasure when we can all see it's just a pile of sh$t.

“ If I am not for myself, who will be for me?  And if I am only for myself what am I?  And if not now, when?"
Hillel – Sayings of the Fathers 1.14

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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#7: October 30, 2013, 02:46:41 PM
Need some insight, advice, validation or something please.........

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=4024.msg261621#msg261621

a few words left on your thread.  :)
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« Last Edit: October 30, 2013, 08:24:35 PM by Anjae »
Hour by hour, day by day

Discovered EA Aug 2012
BD  Dec 2012
Left home  Sept 2013

D
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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#8: November 02, 2013, 09:02:59 AM
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S
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Re: Ask a Mentor 7
#9: November 02, 2013, 05:57:05 PM
I don't know, this might already been answered on the site,(I know I've read some stuff on FOO)  and if not, it might make a good thread.

just wondering if other LBS's can look at their spouses childhood and see MLC in their spouses or their own parents history.

I ask because, from what I've gathered (W's mom died when W was 12, so I never met her) MIL had an affair and they were in the D process when they decided to reconcile and then MIL pasted away a couple years later. I believe that MIL was about the same age as W. Additionally my mom was an MLCer also about the same age(40).(I shared what she had to say about her experience on my,backstory thread, she thinks W is acting irrationally but can relate)

just wondering
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Thanks to all who comment!

Me:43   W:40                                                     D: 19      S: 8 (developmental issues)
S: 18 (mine from breakup with W pre marriage)
Married: 15, together 23
BD: Jan. 2013   W moved out: Feb 2013
D: filed 11/26/13
D: final 7/30/14

 

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