Author Topic: My Story Life is like a box of chocolates  (Read 1667 times)

Offline OffRoad

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My Story Re: Life is like a box of chocolates
« Reply #20 on: April 06, 2018, 07:28:26 PM »
Thanks Chokie and KIT, I am putting in an order for three 99 year old men, no family, many millions $ and a very bad heart condition - sound okay?
Five 99 year old men , please. I'd like mine with a good sense of humor.😆

When life gives you lemons, make SALSA!

Offline Chookie

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Re: Life is like a box of chocolates
« Reply #21 on: April 07, 2018, 04:28:22 AM »
Ok, I reckon we just order 10x 99 year old ultra-rich guys, just to be sure we don't have to share. We don't want to tire them too much, lol.  ;D
BD 29 Nov '13
Left home 8 June '14
Does not live with OW

Offline FaithWalker

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Re: Life is like a box of chocolates
« Reply #22 on: April 10, 2018, 09:54:57 AM »
Attaching, SF.
M-39
H-42
S-17
D-15
S-12
Friends for 7 years before dating
Married for 14 years
BD 12/14/15 - 2 weeks after 14th anniversary
Divorce final 4/13/16
EA - 9/15-4/16
New GF 12/16
Engaged to her 6/17 (I found out 8/10/17)
Moved to her State 4 States away - 7/13/17
Engagement off 8/20/17
Moved back to our State 8/24/17
Joined POF within the first month back


Link to my journey: 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9907.0#new

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Never become a container for bitterness.  Bitterness is a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

"Sometimes -- some things have to break all apart so better things can be built."

Offline Savoir FaireTopic starter

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Re: Life is like a box of chocolates
« Reply #23 on: April 12, 2018, 03:10:27 AM »
Ok, 10 old rich guys it is :)  I'll let you know when the order is filled.

I still haven't heard from xH, as he was supposed to reply to a letter I sent to him via his solicitor. My solicitor is on the phone again, chasing me, so I will have to pursue this.  He is an infuriating man, but this time I don't feel he is trying to annoy me as much as his muddled mind can't make the right connections to decide what to do with our property.

I will send another letter tomorrow and see whee that leads :-\ :-X :-\ :-X :-\ :-X

It is amazing that after almost five years of this 'trying to work out the financials' stuff, that he is still unable to make a decision to save his own life.  I've never questioned if this is MLC or  not, it's been obvious.  I also feel this is the last connection to me and he just can't bring himself to end it.  He's a scared little boy.
"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8412(Denjef's thread)

Offline Whyus

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Re: Life is like a box of chocolates
« Reply #24 on: April 12, 2018, 03:24:59 AM »
I also feel this is the last connection to me and he just can't bring himself to end it. 

You may just be onto something there SF  ::)
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 44
W: 44
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28. Trainings partner. Still together
2 Sons - 18 & 19
2 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Filed
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0
T10. http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9547.0

Offline Chookie

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Re: Life is like a box of chocolates
« Reply #25 on: April 12, 2018, 05:28:07 AM »
Haha, thanks, Savy! I look forward to the delivery, lol.  ;D

I also feel this is the last connection to me and he just can't bring himself to end it. 

You may just be onto something there SF  ::)

Ditto.. 👍🏼
BD 29 Nov '13
Left home 8 June '14
Does not live with OW

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: Life is like a box of chocolates
« Reply #26 on: April 13, 2018, 04:57:09 AM »
Oh yeah... That one last final string that they just can't bring themselves to cut.....  ::)  Despite wanting NOTHING to do with us
Me - 54
MLC - 47
Together 20 years - Married for 17 at separation
S - 11
D - 7
2 Canines (each of us has one)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold and separated - March 2016
Mid-Lifer is initiating D

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline 31andcounting

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Re: Life is like a box of chocolates
« Reply #27 on: April 13, 2018, 11:14:58 AM »
Lost you for a little while SF~

jumping on board!!  I imagine you are right, H is muddled and just can't get himself to do it..  so no response to your letter and request!  so frustrating!

Love the sharing and the "beginning to look available" on you  ;)
Interested to see where this may go??!!

I read in my church bulletin that Easter and the Resurrection is all about
"New Beginnings" , obviously this will show true for you!!     

I for one am excited for you!
(hugs)
31
Hurting people hurt people :(

Offline Savoir FaireTopic starter

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Re: Life is like a box of chocolates
« Reply #28 on: April 18, 2018, 11:31:17 PM »
Thanks Whyus, Chookie, Ursa and welcome back 31!!

Still no answer from xH - so annoying >:(  I will send another letter to his solicitor tomorrow.  I sent a letter to him a few days ago and the solicitor sent a reply that he had left the law firm and I should send my letter to another solicitor - a female.  I had a little giggle about the possibility the solicitor left because of xh and his madness ;D

It could be interesting because xH's solicitor seemed very much like a MLCer, was super aggressive too, just like xH.. Possibly having a female handling things will calm xH down a bit. One can only hope ::)

I felt like responding to xh's former solicitor wishing him well with his new firm and suggesting he tone things down a bit if he wanted the union to last, but obviously did not do that ;D  Nice thought though!

The more xh drags his feet, the more it costs him having his solicitor respond on my behalf, so he had better decide to do something fast ;)  He only has to choose an agent to handle the property sale, it isn't rocket science!

I have been reflecting again ::) and feeling a gnawing sadness at xH having thrown away 30 years of marriage that was mostly good. Our family is so fractured, the kids all living separately and S21 with me and very little communication between anyone, including xH who took them away from me in the first place.

It's so hard to decide for a LBS what to do.  There only seems to be two choices - wait or move on.  I was thinking I don't have to make such a black and white choice but the alternative is to stay in limbo and I also hate that choice, so I feel very stuck.

My heart tells me that if I wait long enough the chance of xH wanting to come back is high, so I have this in the back of my mind at all times - just hold on and it will be alright. The trouble with that is I don't know how long that will be and I feel my life rushing by with no real  knowing if it really is going to be ok with xH again.

If I decide to move on to another relationship, I will give myself 100% to the new man, as it would be horribly unfair not to do so, I have this feeling that I find someone else and xH wants to return and I feel deep sadness at not having waited ARGGGHHHHHH, and a deep sadness that I waited too long if he never wants to return.  It's such a roller-coaster of emotion and I need a crystal ball to see clearly.  If only I had the answer.

All LBS's have the same problem with the decision but it doesn't help knowing this.

We have a new season of Bachelor in Paradise showing at the moment - I used to hate these shows, Bachelor, Paradise and Married at First Sight were programs I would steer clear of. These days, I am all in - so invested in the outcome, watching their every move, each interaction, every sloppy kiss and love declaration.  It's almost like I am watching a 'how to'  relationships tutorial.  I pick each episode apart and know exactly what 'not to do'  now ;D

I am such a hopeless romantic and yearn for a man who is totally invested in 'us'.  I daydream about it, have fantasies about what it would be like - so MLCerish of me ;D  Not sure if it's sad or cute to be feeling like this.  I am not lonely, but alone and I  don't want to be.......

I want my life back like it used to be with some improvements.  Why is this so much to ask?  I am tired of the roller-coaster but not tired enough to get off the stupid thing.

I don't expect anyone has the answers, just hope that one day things are very different.  I keep thinking of visiting my grandchildren (when they arrive) by myself and having the gut wrenching pain surface every time I see H play with them and we are not together.  The pain never really goes away.  I hope the MLCers feel the same.
"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8412(Denjef's thread)

Offline Silver

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Re: Life is like a box of chocolates
« Reply #29 on: April 18, 2018, 11:52:32 PM »
Such a good self-reflecion Savvy, a lot of what I have tried to do as well (we all are aren't we?) and for me, even my D is only 4 months behind, a decision seems to be that I won't wait for her. I will move on and open the doors and let the wind come and go, see if it brings something or not. Not necessarily a new love to my life but it already brought good people to it, new friends. I am not done standing in a way that I had decided I won't NEVER get XW back IF she asked to one day and IF she was ready to honest self-reflection and apologizes herself. I will see how my life is at that point and then decide what I want to do. So it could be one day or never.

Then, if there already is someone special in my life, a person I love and want to share my life with, it is just simply that XW is late at that moment and that's not up to me anymore. I know this sounds too simple, it never is, but for me a thought about just waiting for her and wasting every opportunity bc of it, is too much. I am turning 45, I feel I am at very good age, kids are not babies (though small) anymore so the most wearing years may be behind already what comes to them (a big maybe of course). I am and will support standing but I am not cabable or willing to think I would wait for years the opportunity IF she wants to come back and even if she would, would it be possible to rebuild everything - what I have read here, reconciliation is very tough and difficult journey itself. There are no guarantees it works as we know.
So standing for me is not waiting passively but letting my life to flow and see what happens, not closing out a chance for reconciliation either.

What IS my goal in any case is that I could have civil, polite, even warm relations with her one day, I am not even close out a chance to be friends - I won't get rid of her as long as we are alive and have underaged kids together.

Sorry Savvy, I don't want to hijack or talk about me in your thread but your thoughts were food for thought really for me as well, thank you for that  :)


Still no answer from xH - so annoying >:(  I will send another letter to his solicitor tomorrow.  I sent a letter to him a few days ago and the solicitor sent a reply that he had left the law firm and I should send my letter to another solicitor - a female.  I had a little giggle about the possibility the solicitor left because of xh and his madness ;D

Truth probably is that he is on long sick leave  ;D

It could be interesting because xH's solicitor seemed very much like a MLCer, was super aggressive too, just like xH.. Possibly having a female handling things will calm xH down a bit. One can only hope ::)

Unles he fells in "love" with her as well



"I've seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn't ever end even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new. That's what faith can do." Kutless

 

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