Author Topic: My Story H is moving forward with OW,But there is unfinished business with me 2  (Read 1359 times)

Offline Rosetintedglasses

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Welcome to your new thread Waiting. Onwards and upwards

Rose 🌹
Married 15+ years with 2 children
BD1 - Oct 2016
BD2 - May 2017
ILYBINILWY - June 2017
PA with MOW Mar 2016-Jan 2017
EA with same MOW Jan 2017 until ?
Left home Oct 2017 to stay with his parents

Offline KeepItTogether

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Hi Waiting. Your Mlcer is exhausting! I agree he was definitely baiting you and you did just perfect! Less is definitely more with these weirdos. But implementing that is (and always has been) a huge struggle for me.

Love that you are spending time with your D and the baby. Enjoy your time with them.
Me 46
H 45
S11
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo.

Offline waiting4Topic starter

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  • Tomorrow is another day..


  A friend has said to me several times recently.. Waiting , you have to own and take responsibility for your decision ...
 Another friend has said..  Waiting, you have to be all in.. you cant sit on the fence with this..take it by the throat and own it.. stand firm in what you believe and don't back down, stop crying and fretting.. own your truth and stand in it..

 I have gone to my knees this morning and thanked God for what has happened in my life.. I needed a wake up call and I got it right between the eyes..This entire ordeal has been the most painful thing I have ever endured..This is a journey I have fought since day one, but as I sit here now I realize that I have changed in so many good ways because of it..I am becoming a better person..

In my husbands rejection of me it has allowed me to feel things i would never have otherwise felt or understood.. It has changed me in how i treat everyone around me..

I am firm in my decision to stand for my marriage ..

 Ephesians 6: 11-18

 Put on the whole armour of God, That ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood , but against principalities, against power, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places

Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God , That ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all , to stand

Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

Above all , taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked

And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God:

Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the spirit, and watching thereunto  with all perseverance and supplication for the saints.


I pray for all of us today.. I pray for our spouses , I pray for our children..
Me-55
H - 55
Adult D- 35 ( our only child)
Married 37 yrs. married 33 yrs at time of BD
date of BD July 2015
OW- YES, 36 yr old Peruvian with a 67yr old son
H- moved out of our home in Oct 2015 & moved in with OW
H- says doesnt want divorce, wants long term separation. doesnt know what the future holds.
 H- Jan. 2017 he visits a fertility clinic.
 H - stopped seeing me in 2017.except for 3 emergency situations
 H- has introduced OW to his family and visits them often with OW.
 H- has introduced OW to a few of our friends.
 H- told me that OW does want him to divorce me and they have talked about getting married.
 Entering 2018. H has not filed for divorce.
He is still living with OW
 H & OW moved into a huge single family home in May 2018
 If you're going through Hell, keep going

Offline waiting4Topic starter

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  • Tomorrow is another day..

  UNBELIEVEABLE !!! 

 As I was writing the previous post , I had not checked my phone all morning.. I just looked at my messages,,


                                                 I GOT THE JOB !!!!!!
Me-55
H - 55
Adult D- 35 ( our only child)
Married 37 yrs. married 33 yrs at time of BD
date of BD July 2015
OW- YES, 36 yr old Peruvian with a 67yr old son
H- moved out of our home in Oct 2015 & moved in with OW
H- says doesnt want divorce, wants long term separation. doesnt know what the future holds.
 H- Jan. 2017 he visits a fertility clinic.
 H - stopped seeing me in 2017.except for 3 emergency situations
 H- has introduced OW to his family and visits them often with OW.
 H- has introduced OW to a few of our friends.
 H- told me that OW does want him to divorce me and they have talked about getting married.
 Entering 2018. H has not filed for divorce.
He is still living with OW
 H & OW moved into a huge single family home in May 2018
 If you're going through Hell, keep going

Offline heroIam

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Wooooohooooo Waiting!
Congrats on the job.  :D

“In the end, you’ve got to be your own hero because everyone’s busy trying to save themselves.”

Offline xyzcf

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That is awesome news!!!!!! Something to celebrate for sure!

I understand what you are saying.  One thing I remind myself of, is that I did not stop loving my husband because he stopped loving me (or actually, because he is in a crisis)....no, perhaps the "type" of love I have for him is different, but he is still my husband and I have learned just what unconditional love can be...the way Our Father loves us.

Recently, a friend referred to my husband as my ex...this friend has done so before and I have corrected him before..he is my husband and I continue to refer to him as such even though I am looked at either with pity of that I have 2 heads.

Yesterday I read 2 things that were answers to questions I was having about whether I should be contacting my husband more. On Rejoice Ministries, Bob explained how he could see the changes in Charlyene...she did not have to tell him about them. She looked inside and did the work that she had to do to become a better person....never being unkind to her husband but not running after him either. She left him in God's hands.

Then I read this concerning Mary who became pregnant and Joseph who was going to quietly "put her away".

"Mary's hope was absolute, completely confident in God's help...In silence and in hope shall your strength be(Is 30,15)
She remained silent, and did not try to justify herself in Joseph's eyes; she was silent because she was filled with hope in God and absolute certainty of His help. Silence and hope permitted her to rely entirely upon God; strong with His strength, she remained serene and tranquil in an extremely difficult and delicate situation." from Divine Intimacy by Father Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalen, O.C.D

I did not have this strong faith before BD.....I had never suffered anything in my life...and yes, this has taught me many many lessons even in spite of the pain as I continue in my own personal journey.

Thanks for your prayers. I too pray for all of us.
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

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Offline Bailmor

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Awesome news about the job situation!  On to bigger and better things, for sure!
If you are feeling down, know that God Has always had a wonderful plans for you.  Unfortunately, there are things that happen and forces that work to try and keep us from reaching what He has for us.  The good news is that there is healing at work.  God is always working in and through your life to try to get you to where He wants you.

Online Treasur

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That's fantastic news, waiting - well done  ;D
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD)
No kids.
BD Oct 15. OW since Apr 16?
H filed Jan 17. Divorced April 18

Grateful for any appearance of the tiny karma bus  
"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Offline Mitzpah

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  • How I long for your precepts! Psalm 119:40
Waiting,

Following along... Congratulations on the job!!!

I like the plans you have, we get to the point where we need to do and plan things ourselves. Our spouses are on their own journey and all we can do is pray for them, being consistent in our stand.

I miss my h. every single day, yet I continue living, working, planning and doing what needs to be done. I am praying about taking on more responsibilities at church - something I haven't done for a long time.
M 56
H 56
S 26
S 24
D 23
BD 13 Dec 2010
Divorced 27 Feb 2015 (30 years marriage)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11

Offline FearNot

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Awesome news! Congratulations Waiting!!

I can totally relate to getting a wake up call, becoming a better person, and treating people better.  I was raised with a faith but never relied on it until BD. I have experienced so many wonderful things,had prayers answered in so many ways, and so grateful for the work  and answers that God has provided in my life!

I have a prayer that is a variation of Ephesians 6:11-18 that is adapted to include my HS friends, my family, myself, H, and work place mates. It is taped to the side of my night stand and every morning when I wake up and turn off my alarm, that is the first thing I do, is pray that prayer. I also pray the hedge of protection for my H. I feel like it's the best way to start my day  :).


xyzcf- I just listened to a podcast about Mary and Joseph and how he was going to " put her away". It was so interesting and enlightening! There is so  much hope just in that story alone for standers  :).

M 46
H 39
No Kids
Married 5yrs, Together 11yrs
BD Oct 31/17
ILYBINILWY Dec 21/17
2nd BD- Dec 27/17
OW-Confirmed Jan 3/17

 Isaiah 43:1 " But the Lord says.. Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. "

"It's ok to be scared. Being scared means you're about to do something really, really brave." Anonymous

 

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