Author Topic: My Story My Story Isn't Over Yet 2  (Read 573 times)

Offline Reinventing

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My Story Re: My Story Isn't Over Yet 2
« Reply #10 on: May 08, 2018, 11:41:34 PM »
The ball is in his court.

Remember to mentally keep the mindset that the ball is in your court as much as possible.

You have more power than you think.

Offline Schratz66

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Re: My Story Isn't Over Yet 2
« Reply #11 on: May 09, 2018, 07:11:01 AM »
Still following along Fear.
You could be right that OW is having her own MLC - as I suspect with my H's woman.
I am not sure if it will extend or shorten the duration of their R, but I try not to focus on that because just having the OW leave might not mean they will come home.

You are doing great Fear amidst the upheaval of everything around you.
Me 50
H 49
AD 20 from previous R
Known H since 1993
Together since 2000
BD 06/21/2017
OW High School Sweetheart lives 4 hrs away

Offline FearNotTopic starter

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Re: My Story Isn't Over Yet 2
« Reply #12 on: May 09, 2018, 09:28:36 AM »
Moc- I think we know when it's time  :). Your gut will tell you, mine sure did.

Reinvent- Thank you for the reminder. It is so easy to forget.

S66- I agree with you. The monkey brain got me yesterday! But you are absolutely correct!! Eyes off of them. Their is no point!

Update
So last night, I struggled and struggled with actually sending the email. I revised, I re read it. Revised it. Closed the email, opened the email, but I just couldn't send it.

This morning I messaged H to tell him that I have arranged for our house insurance to go month to month as he requested. He messaged back saying thanks and that he will be doing a separation agreement up in the next couple weeks, will forward it to me, we can hammer out details, and once agreed on inclusions he will have the formal copy made for us to sign by L's. I will see what he will be putting in that, and be passing it on to my L before I agree to anything.

I asked if he would mind letting me know what he was intending on picking up next week. His answer... his mail!! :o.  It's in hopes that we will figure this stuff out "reasonably soon" and he isn't really around much until the end of June. Not sure what happened there? But not going to worry about it! Not sure what the reaction will be when he sees all his stuff in the garage, but not going to worry about that either.

I think there was a reason for both the email not being sent, and for me packing up his stuff!!

Hugs N Prayers,
FN
M 46
H 39
No Kids
Married 5yrs, Together 11yrs
BD Oct 31/17
ILYBINILWY Dec 21/17
2nd BD- Dec 27/17
OW-Confirmed Jan 3/17

 Isaiah 43:1 " But the Lord says.. Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. "

"It's ok to be scared. Being scared means you're about to do something really, really brave." Anonymous

Offline Kitty

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Re: My Story Isn't Over Yet 2
« Reply #13 on: May 09, 2018, 09:34:27 AM »
You're right, I think there was a reason for you not to send the email. You got this FN!
Me 37; H 41
Together 20 years; married 11.5
No kids, no pets
BD #1 Late October 2017 - H says he feels like he is living with a room mate at times (ILYBINILWY) and has considered separation.
BD #2 12/22/17 - Day after legal separation signed, I find out about OW after H said there wasn't one.

"Let the past die. Kill it, if you have to. It's the only way for you to become what you are meant to be." Kylo Ren - Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Offline Thunder

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Re: My Story Isn't Over Yet 2
« Reply #14 on: May 09, 2018, 09:37:00 AM »
What did he mean by "his mail?"
With her permission, a quote from a recovered MLCer: 
From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did.

Offline FearNotTopic starter

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Re: My Story Isn't Over Yet 2
« Reply #15 on: May 09, 2018, 11:00:32 AM »
All he plans on coming to get next week is his postal mail instead of stuff for his new semi permanent residence like he stated in his email.It's still being delivered to our address. I had let him know over a week ago that he had some stuff come.
M 46
H 39
No Kids
Married 5yrs, Together 11yrs
BD Oct 31/17
ILYBINILWY Dec 21/17
2nd BD- Dec 27/17
OW-Confirmed Jan 3/17

 Isaiah 43:1 " But the Lord says.. Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. "

"It's ok to be scared. Being scared means you're about to do something really, really brave." Anonymous

Offline Thunder

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Re: My Story Isn't Over Yet 2
« Reply #16 on: May 09, 2018, 11:33:15 AM »
So he expects to just use your house as a storage unit for his stuff?   :-\

I just hope you have all his stuff in the garage.  At least you don't need to look at it, huh?
With her permission, a quote from a recovered MLCer: 
From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did.

Offline FearNotTopic starter

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Re: My Story Isn't Over Yet 2
« Reply #17 on: May 09, 2018, 11:54:39 AM »
Apparently, yes?!?! But he was supposed to be moving and needing stuff?!?! But maybe she has everything or maybe he's not moving. I really don't know, either way I am glad that I don't have to deal with him hauling stuff out when I'm not home (yet).

Yup, it's in the garage.

He will walk by it when he comes through the garage to come into the house to get his mail. Maybe he'll notice, or maybe he'll think "Gee she has a lot of garbage (it's all in garbage bags)... but wait a minute, that's my suit?"  ;) ;D. I highly doubt that he would expect me to empty his half the closet and drawers, shoes, coats, hats etc. Good luck finding anything in those bags as well, if he ends up needing  something.
M 46
H 39
No Kids
Married 5yrs, Together 11yrs
BD Oct 31/17
ILYBINILWY Dec 21/17
2nd BD- Dec 27/17
OW-Confirmed Jan 3/17

 Isaiah 43:1 " But the Lord says.. Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. "

"It's ok to be scared. Being scared means you're about to do something really, really brave." Anonymous

Offline FearNotTopic starter

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Re: My Story Isn't Over Yet 2
« Reply #18 on: May 10, 2018, 12:29:58 PM »
Journaling/Randomness

Not much to report today. Emotionally I am in a better place. I do feel removing his items gave me some closure I needed. This weekend my mom is coming, so that will be good. We don't have much planned. We usually go buy all my plants for my pots (I have a ton) but I won't be doing that this year, due to the uncertainty of our living situation. :'(  I don't want to go and drop the money on plants and then have the possibility of having to move and deal with them, or leave them behind. The joy of living in limbo!

I also have been considering joining a ladies golf league. I love to golf, but it was something I've always done with H. I've maybe golfed 3 times without him. It makes me incredibly sad to think of doing it without him. It was always our thing! We couldn't wait for the first round of the season to happen. Now it just makes me feel like there's a rock in my chest when I think of it. There's a big part of me that is scared to do it without him, but I don't want to give up something that I enjoy so much because of the fear. My aim is terrible and he's always been the one to guide me, but maybe without him I'll have to rely on myself and get it worked out, or spend all my time in the bushes looking for my ball. :( I've been thinking a lot about how/who I could golf with and this might be my answer, as well as a good opportunity to meet other lady golfers. I guess if I can roll into some strangers house, where I knew nobody to learn a card game I had no idea about it, I can show up at a golf course and play a round with unknown peeps. At least I know how to play! The rational part of me says, save every dime for the L, you're gonna need it!! :-\

All part of moving forward...
M 46
H 39
No Kids
Married 5yrs, Together 11yrs
BD Oct 31/17
ILYBINILWY Dec 21/17
2nd BD- Dec 27/17
OW-Confirmed Jan 3/17

 Isaiah 43:1 " But the Lord says.. Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. "

"It's ok to be scared. Being scared means you're about to do something really, really brave." Anonymous

Offline If_only

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Re: My Story Isn't Over Yet 2
« Reply #19 on: May 10, 2018, 09:55:53 PM »
FN- so glad your mom is coming to visit this weekend and I so hope you enjoy the visit. I know gardening is so relaxing - next year for sure.  Great idea on the golf -  That is such a great example of GAL - keep up the good work - you are doing so well ! 😊
Hugs: IF


 

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