Author Topic: My Story COOL HAND LUKE REDUX 3  (Read 813 times)

Online Thunder

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My Story Re: COOL HAND LUKE REDUX 3
« Reply #10 on: May 13, 2018, 02:48:31 PM »
Watcher, after that start that was good time!  8 minutes miles is wonderful.

Yes, maybe next time get more towards the middle or the front.  It's hard when there are that many people.

Congrats!!!!   8)
With her permission, a quote from a recovered MLCer: 
From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did.

Offline WatcherTopic starter

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Re: COOL HAND LUKE REDUX 3
« Reply #11 on: May 13, 2018, 03:13:47 PM »
Thanks Thunder.

I learned my chip time was 27:30. That's start to finish crossing over the electronic mats. The official time is registered with the start of the gun. So it took me almost 2.5 minutes to reach the starting point.

Interesting tidbit.

1st race was 28:59
2nd race was 27:30 (it took 2:22 to reach the starting line)

So I would say race wise my time has improved. Like I said there was a wall of people today, especially walkers. The 1st race I was able to run immediately from the start.

Today's event was to raise money to keep our oceans wild and pollution free.  8)

This group focuses on shore communities in NJ so I was impressed and will stick with them for more. They will be sending me my finish line video at some point later tonight which is pretty cool and I received a very nice commemorative event glass.

I'm learning.  ;)
« Last Edit: May 13, 2018, 03:40:52 PM by Watcher »

Online Thunder

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Re: COOL HAND LUKE REDUX 3
« Reply #12 on: May 14, 2018, 02:39:33 PM »
Yes that's what I like, these races are usually for a good cause.

I forgot, if your race was chipped timed it wouldn't start counting until you reach the starting mat, in which case you can be anywhere in the group of people.

So your time is great for a beginner.  Better than most.
My X has his next race on Saturday.  Wait til you get to the 10k's and half marathons, you get some really nice medals.   ;D
I wish you were closer I'd come and cheer you on.

So did you get to see your S today to give him his birthday card?  I sure hope so.   :)
With her permission, a quote from a recovered MLCer: 
From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did.

Offline WatcherTopic starter

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Re: COOL HAND LUKE REDUX 3
« Reply #13 on: May 14, 2018, 06:22:53 PM »
Hi Thunder,

Yes that was my 1st experience with a chip. I have 2 more 5K lined up in June. I'm just going to keep at it over the summer and work on my time. I plan on 2 in July and 2 in August at the 5K level.

I'm going to practice for the 10K. I'm just going to start at 4 miles and gradually push it from there over the summer. 5 miles then 6 miles and see how I do in practice.

Just working on my timing. Right now my timing is probably good for only 3.5 miles so I will build on it gradually.

Funny the lines for the bathrooms were soooooo long at the beginning that I did not have time to hear the instructions about the chip.

S18 was in bed after school so I let him sleep. School can wear him down at times. S15 and I left to work on his volunteer project at a food pantry. So he completed his 100 hours of service and he was happy. I helped him with 2 projects in the Fall and today.

Other than that he did everything else on his own. I returned with him and then saw S18. His mom was home and we did see each other but didn't say a word. I didn't look her way and just walked past her. Stayed with S18 a bit and left.

Not ideal but I guess there will be incidental contact as such being that we have kids. I felt nothing so it was not a big deal for me.

I have no clue what he did for his bday as I didn't stay long. I will see him again tomorrow after school but I did give him his gifts today.

I had time for a double session at the gym. Today was legs day and we really worked them good. We worked on the abs a bit. I did have 2 days off from the gym so it takes a little bit of effort to get moving. LOL, I ran a 5K on my offday.  ::)

S15 was escstatic that I came through for him and he thanked me. At the end of the day that is all that matters to me.  ;D

Have a good night

Thanks Thunder

Online Thunder

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Re: COOL HAND LUKE REDUX 3
« Reply #14 on: May 15, 2018, 08:06:50 AM »
Well then that WAS good timing!   ;)

I'm glad your son appreciated your helping him.  He won't forget these times, Watcher.

Also good to hear you saw your MLCer, had NC and it didn't effect you at all.    It's all good.

Grass mowed yet?   ::)  I predicted 15 inches.

Have a good afternoon, Watcher!   8)
With her permission, a quote from a recovered MLCer: 
From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did.

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: COOL HAND LUKE REDUX 3
« Reply #15 on: May 15, 2018, 08:15:14 AM »
Kids know when you are there for them and who is not... They may not always show it but they do know and they file it away for future reference...
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A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline WatcherTopic starter

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Re: COOL HAND LUKE REDUX 3
« Reply #16 on: May 15, 2018, 08:32:05 AM »
IC Today  :-\

I think I need to bring an interpreter with me to decipher these sessions. So I went in with one train of thought and she spent her time working on me.

IC says she told me to sever the relationship with my W. She says divorce does not necessarily improve my boy's plight. She is not advocating divorce because of the impact on the boy's.

I have full control of being a parent now and I must find a way to make it work for the boys and I. Just the father son relationship.

The boy's need a stable parent in their life. The boys need to maintain their school and they need to be directed towards college.

I told IC that I have talked to the both of them numerous times and I have asked them what they would like. They want their home and that school.

The IC says its my sacrifice for them. It falls on my shoulders because she has emotionally walked away from everyone blah, blah, blah.

IC says it would have been different had she not walked away from them. They don't have a mother and they have dysfunctional grandparents.

Its a crucial time in their development blah, blah, blah. I've heard this before from her.

I shared a few things with her about W and it just added further proof how she really does not care about our son's.

W is never leaving because she needs my financial support and she enjoys her fantasy life.

Married, separated, divorced nothing will change the situation. This is the best opportunity that will help my son's. I will add blah, blah, blah.

So I don't know. I would say IC annoyed me today. Yes she did. OK its May 15th. I will focus on today and digest this session for quite sometime.

Today will most defintely be a double gym session.  8) I feel like I'm in prison. That's what it feels like.  :-\ The parole board just rejected me.

OK the abs will pay the price today.  8)

Enjoy your day everyone

I just saw you Thunder, UrsaMajor. Yes there are grass drifts similar to snow drifts. It is 15 inches in some areas already.

Thanks


« Last Edit: May 15, 2018, 08:38:13 AM by Watcher »

Online Thunder

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Re: COOL HAND LUKE REDUX 3
« Reply #17 on: May 15, 2018, 09:09:54 AM »
Oh man Watcher, I'm not sure I agree either.  That's a first.  :(

I mean I understand her way of thinking that you are the only stable parent, but how does she think it wouldn't matter if you d her or not?
Of course nothing would change, as far as your boys, but what about YOUR life?  I kind of agree it would be like a prison.

Does she think you should just live your life by yourself?  Not find happiness for yourself?  Just date and have relationships with women but stay married?  That wouldn't be fair to you or any other women.
There's where I have the problem.  I couldn't see you doing that.  You're not that kind of man.

It really puts you in quite the situation.  She tells you to act single, but you can't really unless you are divorced, because you're not legally single.   ???

The other thing is, you are already sacrificing, a LOT.

Ok, I guess what I'm trying to say is:
How would you divorcing her change anything with your boys?  What negative impact would that have on the boys that they don't already have?  I don't see it changing anything with them, just for you.  Makes you still stuck.

Am I wrong?  Maybe BB or UM or Wonder or...someone else can weigh in with their thoughts.

So, so far I'm the winner at 15 inches?   :)
With her permission, a quote from a recovered MLCer: 
From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did.

Offline Ready2Transform

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Re: COOL HAND LUKE REDUX 3
« Reply #18 on: May 15, 2018, 09:47:40 AM »
If it doesn't feel right to you, it's not right for you. Each counselor has their own approach, and I can see the perspective that it's important to create stability for their futures, but tying your parenting to your marriage is in my opinion not applicable. My father was in a similar situation with my mother (she left when I was 20, FINALLY). He was far more effective as a parent and overall human being once that plug was pulled!

Assess if you really need this input. I mean, they're experts, but they don't always get it right every time for every person. In a weird way, her purpose may be served in you learning how to establish with another woman (this counselor) that you aren't right for each other and you'll be fine without her once you walk away. When you know you can do that and feel confident, your wife and her dysfunctional family may be next in line. Just saying.
« Last Edit: May 15, 2018, 09:49:01 AM by Ready2Transform »
"Unconditional love is the highest of high standards, and while we are letting go of our need to control the process of anyone else, we are taking within our lives complete accountability for our own experience."

http://seriousvanity.com/how-to-cultivate-unconditional-love-and-change-the-world/

Online Treasur

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Re: COOL HAND LUKE REDUX 3
« Reply #19 on: May 15, 2018, 10:34:39 AM »
I find myself agreeing too, Watcher. IC's can play a useful role in challenging your thinking but in the end it is your life and your choices. Your sons are no longer very small children and it may be time to put what Watcher needs, closely followed by what Watcher believes a good dad would do, at the top of your list...you deserve to have a life which is more than just surviving and working round crazy folks IMHO.
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