[Albatross]

Albatross, please be so kind to start a new REPLAY thread. Thank you.

How can I resist to a lady ? Old REPLAY thread.

[alwayshope]

Attaching, thanks for the great thread!

[panda]

Me too.  This is a great thread Albatross...thank you.

[Albatross]

Very interesting spiral. So, how MLCer circle emotionally ? How I get it, old life represent right spiral. New life even fantasy - represent left spiral. I was witness how environment change my wife in first year of replay ! In environment which was not our flat she feel and act as left even me was present. And in the house as right.

So, I am thinking how to break circle ? Answer is always simple. We, LBS have to change ! They wont us as old ones. They wont even self as old ones. That is all about MLC ! Dramatic changes. MLCers aren't change self long, long time a go because of own rigidity, issues from childhood, no identity well defined and they now MUST changed.

So, change self ! Change lights in house, change paintings, change whole atmosphere, redesign house. I read heartblessing post in article when she said that she start to do things opposite. If MLCer is shadow of self - opposite, we also should try do opposite, not in moral values OFC and crucial things which made our personality. But if we was talkative before then try to be more listener ! If we was pursuer try to be opposite and so on. If we was over-caring, try to be less caring. And so on.

What else about spiral ? When MLCer gradually sink from left spiral to right, naturally by instinct we fallow, it is easier to be depressed then not. In time we really become depressed. On his - her nagging we reflect them back, also on anger and so on, because they start vicious down-spiral circle. So, MLCer have alibi about how bad spouse we are....
It is Marry go round down...

We have to break that circle, detaching from them, let them go, surrender, accept. You can't stop their sink in downspiraling. So, what we can ? After we cut the lose we can start to dust self and start ti climb upward. Then we become opposite for them ! Nobody NORMAL can be attracted by depressed ! So they seek someone also broken who can be their mate in misery and twisted mind.

[R]

That is a great visual image, Albatross - thanks - this thread is so helpful. 

[in it]

So, I am thinking how to break circle ? Answer is always simple. We, LBS have to change ! They wont us as old ones. They wont even self as old ones. That is all about MLC ! Dramatic changes. MLCers aren't change self long, long time a go because of own rigidity, issues from childhood, no identity well defined and they now MUST changed.

WE have to CHANGE FOR US NOT THEM.

 If we were TOTALLY disgusted with our old selves or can see inherit character flaws then YES it's time for a change. BUT NOT TO ATTRACT THEM. WE do this so we can look at OURSELVES in the mirror.

And the work has to be honest not some "show".

It's great you changed your surroundings that may help your "inner work" but if it's all on the OUTSIDE and nothing inside it will not work! This work starts from the inside OUT!

The graph was very interesting. I can see myself and where I was and can see myself now. And I'm very happy with the progress I'm making!

[Albatross]

So, I am thinking how to break circle ? Answer is always simple. We, LBS have to change ! They wont us as old ones. They wont even self as old ones. That is all about MLC ! Dramatic changes. MLCers aren't change self long, long time a go because of own rigidity, issues from childhood, no identity well defined and they now MUST changed.

WE have to CHANGE FOR US NOT THEM.

 If we were TOTALLY disgusted with our old selves or can see inherit character flaws then YES it's time for a change. BUT NOT TO ATTRACT THEM. WE do this so we can look at OURSELVES in the mirror.

And the work has to be honest not some "show".

It's great you changed your surroundings that may help your "inner work" but if it's all on the OUTSIDE and nothing inside it will not work! This work starts from the inside OUT!

The graph was very interesting. I can see myself and where I was and can see myself now. And I'm very happy with the progress I'm making!

I agree with You. Anyway change self in way that we have jump up where we was before sink with them slowly into depression. And of course that we have to change self, removing own issues and flaws not to impress MLCer faking changes. My wife tell me that she afraid my changes will not last ! You can't full them, neither have sense full self.

[in it]

EXACTLY the changes have to be GENUINE and withstand TIME.

And it all depends on how much damage has been done in order for it to honestly come across as some kind of change.

In my case I will NEVER believe ANY change he makes...he's always worn a mask and always will.

[Albatross]

EXACTLY the changes have to be GENUINE and withstand TIME.

And it all depends on how much damage has been done in order for it to honestly come across as some kind of change.

In my case I will NEVER believe ANY change he makes...he's always worn a mask and always will.

Persona in psychological therm is interface of Ego to the world. People who have shorted distance between Ego and Persona are individuals, genuine, natural, showing emotions, more alive and so on... to observer.

On some way Persona is the mask and all of us have it, but problems are with people who have bigger distance between Ego and Persona. They are artificial, less alive, less individual, less genuine to observer.



MLCers do it because they MUST to...

[in it]

I like this...I find there's a little of both for me..there must be a balance.

 I knew a lot a long time ago... now it's simply I was played "too rough" with and have been hurt enough. I'm not out to hurt anybody else.

I just want to heal- have some fun- and have my "peace of mind"