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Author Topic: My Story THE TIME TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE IS NOW.  (Read 1832 times)

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Online Thunder

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My Story Re: THE TIME TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE IS NOW.
« Reply #80 on: February 14, 2018, 04:18:14 AM »
Hi Watcher,

I guess all I wanted to say is, I agree 100% with your IC, who is btw a professional therapist.

We're just friends trying to support you, with no professional background.  We can only give you our best opinions/guesses.
Take what you need and leave what you don't.  You've been doing really good.

Hope you have a great day, Watcher.   8)
With her permission, a quote from a recovered MLCer: 
From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did.

Offline GonerinGhana

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Re: THE TIME TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE IS NOW.
« Reply #81 on: February 14, 2018, 04:28:04 AM »
Watcher, so much has been said here I totally do NOT agree with, but I'll save that until tomorrow.

 ???

Offline Treasur

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Re: THE TIME TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE IS NOW.
« Reply #82 on: February 14, 2018, 04:41:57 AM »
We're just friends trying to support you, with no professional background.  We can only give you our best opinions/guesses.
Take what you need and leave what you don't.  You've been doing really good.

 :)
BD Oct 15,
OW since Apr 16?
H filed Jan 17.
I hit my 'Meh' Done Line 5th Feb 18

Grateful for any appearance of the tiny karma bus  
Grace is...elegance, unearned blessings, a prayer of thanks.
"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Online Thunder

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Re: THE TIME TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE IS NOW.
« Reply #83 on: February 14, 2018, 04:55:30 AM »
Goner.  I just was too tired to write last night.  I wasn't talking about anyone in particular.
I just do think Watcher's IC is one of the better ones.  Not everyone gets that fortunate.

 :)
With her permission, a quote from a recovered MLCer: 
From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did.

Offline GonerinGhana

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Re: THE TIME TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE IS NOW.
« Reply #84 on: February 14, 2018, 05:04:53 AM »
It's not who you are talking about that confused me. It's that you were saying you disagreed with so much and then turned around and said you agreed with everything. Seemed a bit contradictory to me. That's all. I had been looking forward to reading your opinion. I was kind of disappointed that you didn't follow up on it actually.

Online Thunder

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Re: THE TIME TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE IS NOW.
« Reply #85 on: February 14, 2018, 05:15:15 AM »
Oh I'm sorry.  I just didn't agree with a few comments made by a few people, but decided to keep them to myself.  They weren't that important and doesn't really help Watcher. 

I always agree with his IC.
She seems to really understand Watcher and his situation.

So many therapist aren't that good.   :)
With her permission, a quote from a recovered MLCer: 
From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did.

Offline GonerinGhana

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Re: THE TIME TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE IS NOW.
« Reply #86 on: February 14, 2018, 05:19:51 AM »
I didn't disagree with the IC either. It's just how she worded the situation put it together in a way that I could look at it and say that the things his wife was angry about could all be interpreted by her (and pretty much anyone who didn't know the situation) as signs that Watcher didn't want to stay married.

Offline Acorn

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Re: THE TIME TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE IS NOW.
« Reply #87 on: February 14, 2018, 05:28:34 AM »
Goner, your comments have been valuable to me in that it reminds me to put myself in my H’s shoes so that I understand the immense struggle and pain he has been/is going through.  Seeing and  uinderstanding MLCer’s POV at life, true empathy for them, and the resulting compassion are never bad things to have. 
Feb 2015: H has a Nuclear meltdown.  A tear-fest.  The next morning arctic cold descends.
Oct 2015: ILYBIANILWY
Apr 2016: Affair discovered
Still home

Offline WatcherTopic starter

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Re: THE TIME TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE IS NOW.
« Reply #88 on: February 14, 2018, 05:36:55 AM »
Whyus,

Not for me. ::)  Look she is stuck between fantasy and reality. They may overlap at times but its always going to be there. I serve a specific function for her. That's why I caution about reading into her behavior with contact towards me. Her fantasy has always been there and it can only go away with professional help.

Look the fantasy serves a purpose. I would gather its hiding pain and I don't believe it has anything to do with me nor our marriage. I also don't believe she wants a divorce. Ever. She's going about it the wrong way, but as my IC says, she doesn't have the coping mechanisms to deal with her issues.

I don't know how the facing of their issues works. Do they face one issue at a time then close the door and move onto the next one. There is a flow and ebb to her fantasy. Right now the intensity is high.

 Does that mean she is about to address an issue, IDK. Or better yet is there an issue that she is really fighting to not address.  At the same time she is present in the house. There are times when she does have to deal with her wayward husband in her mind and make sure he is still on board.  ::)

So she builds herself up for today and I would imagine there will be disappointment at some point along the way.

Well I'm off to the gym.

Enjoy your day everyone.

Online Thunder

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Re: THE TIME TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE IS NOW.
« Reply #89 on: February 14, 2018, 05:53:49 AM »
It's really quite sad, isn't it?  To live in such a fantasy world.

Well, enjoy your work-out.   ;D
With her permission, a quote from a recovered MLCer: 
From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did.


 

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