Author Topic: My Story Not a group I ever thought I'd be apart of!  (Read 1998 times)

Offline Deborib1Topic starter

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My Story Re: Not a group I ever thought I'd be apart of!
« Reply #30 on: March 18, 2018, 05:56:22 AM »
It is one month today since BD. As all of H's family and friend get together today for the big St. Patrick's day party, I feel so lonely. This party starts all the wonderful get together s that take us through the summer. Always such a great time, full of laughs. God, I feel like I'm being punished for something I didn't do. They didn't even invite my son. This will be the first time without me there, in 35yrs! I hope they all ask H where we are and I hope he misses the heck out of us! 😕
Buckle up! It's looking like a bumpy ride!

Offline Jay78

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Re: Not a group I ever thought I'd be apart of!
« Reply #31 on: March 18, 2018, 06:38:39 AM »
Deb,
Sorry your feeling this way, many Spouse also withdraw from family too. Do you know if H really went.

Make New memories I can tell you this I always been close to my kids now we are just inseparable we gotten closer and have a bond that W with never understand.  Take this time for you and son. As I said the pain your feeling will get easier I remember on BD I also question what have I done to deserve this or honestly I was always a optimistic person but this took a toll on me I just felt like never waking up. One day I just got the bible and rosary and started praying I knew I needed it I cried for days finally and slowly I could breathe again I still am living this nightmare but I am letting God hold my hand . I promise with time you will become stronger. I won't say you be 100% ok because am in 11 months and still cry but now is maybe once every other week I am becoming stronger.

We are here my New friend.  Where are you located maybe there is readers here that live close by to meet. I myself would like to meet some people that going through the same thing . Remember Deb, take it a day at a time
At BD
Lesbian marriage
Me39,W36
S9,D9,S8 adopted all three
Together almost 10yrs
Bomb Drop - April 2017
W movedout - May,2017
OW  May orJune,2017 maybe even longer
Currently 2018
Me40, W37
S9,D9,S8 
____________________________________________________
A  DAY AT  A TIME,  WITH GOD ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE

Offline Deborib1Topic starter

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Re: Not a group I ever thought I'd be apart of!
« Reply #32 on: March 18, 2018, 08:05:42 AM »
Jay78, I know that he is attending the party because the party is at the house he is living at, his brother's house. I think I may have mentioned in my original post, maybe not, but his brother lives on a cul-de-sac where his one sister lives next door to his brother and the other sister lives across the street. So he is surrounded daily by his siblings. I live in the Capital District area of NY.
Buckle up! It's looking like a bumpy ride!

Offline Deborib1Topic starter

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Re: Not a group I ever thought I'd be apart of!
« Reply #33 on: March 19, 2018, 05:30:39 AM »
How is it that literally overnight H goes from kissing me before leaving for work to this person that comes in my house to pick up my son and acts like I'm the worst person to have lived?? He acts like it kills him to have to look at me or listen to anything I have to say. I have NEVER, in 35 yrs, seen him even treat someone he didn't like this way! It is beyond crazy! Honestly, somebody pinch me so I can wake up from this NIGHTMARE!
Buckle up! It's looking like a bumpy ride!

Offline Mrs.Smiling

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Re: Not a group I ever thought I'd be apart of!
« Reply #34 on: March 19, 2018, 05:59:46 AM »
Yes it happens, and it kills you everytime...but when you detach and let go, when you see them it will bother you less. For me, I haven't seen H in a week with 2 text messages in between. I no longer initiate contact. I'm pleasant and positive. Today H is stopping by and a few weeks ago it would make me sick knowing he would be here. Now I leave a note lock up...
It is amazing how they go from someone who wants to talk to you all the time to not even speaking...that's the one part that bugs me...but that's just him..can't fix him...
Start turning your focus on you..let him go his way...
Detach from the nonsense....
Be the best version of yourself... there is no other

Offline Deborib1Topic starter

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Re: Not a group I ever thought I'd be apart of!
« Reply #35 on: March 19, 2018, 08:34:17 AM »
Thanks Smilingthroughit! Maybe it's because I have a young son with special needs, that I get so inside out about this. It just doesn't seem possible that someone can completely change overnight. If it was just me then maybe I could handle the rejection better, but every time my boy asks 'where's Daddy', I just want to throw up. Sigh....
Buckle up! It's looking like a bumpy ride!

Offline Deborib1Topic starter

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Re: Not a group I ever thought I'd be apart of!
« Reply #36 on: March 20, 2018, 12:30:19 PM »
So H showed up to see my son for a little bit and gave me some money. He acted quite nice this time. His whole dominer seemed different. He didn't act like it pained him to look at me and even updated me on a couple family members. He apparently quit smoking last weekend and is now back to doing p90x. Well, good for him, right? He even lingered a little before leaving. Sigh...
Buckle up! It's looking like a bumpy ride!

Offline Schratz66

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Re: Not a group I ever thought I'd be apart of!
« Reply #37 on: March 20, 2018, 05:22:46 PM »
Hey Deb,
Just now attaching to your journey. It is crazy how they go from being crazy about us to completely pretending we don’t exist. I’m glad somebody from the other side contacted you. My MIL and SIL shunned me the minute he left be abuse they need him and want to stay on his good side.
That’s where this forum comes in. We are your new friends and family and you can vent, ask questions or just share your hurt with us. We understand and have been there.

Me 50
H 49
AD 20 from previous R
Known H since 1993
Together since 2000
BD 06/21/2017
OW High School Sweetheart lives 4 hrs away

Offline Deborib1Topic starter

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Re: Not a group I ever thought I'd be apart of!
« Reply #38 on: March 20, 2018, 05:29:05 PM »
Thanks Schratz! It has been a life saver being able to talk here...the silence is really deafening.
Buckle up! It's looking like a bumpy ride!

Offline Mrs.Smiling

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Re: Not a group I ever thought I'd be apart of!
« Reply #39 on: March 20, 2018, 07:40:38 PM »
It is deafening. I think that is the one thing that just throws me a loop...After so long all of a sudden silence. It definitely is a killer.
However, music, movies, tv they all fill that silence. Even our kids..A simple phone call helps too. I've noticed that If i talk to someone I
am ok. Just some type of conversation is good. It will get you through those silent times...


Keep yourself busy...Get out, enjoy finding who you are...It will get better in time. Promise.
Be the best version of yourself... there is no other

 

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