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Author Topic: My Story Where Do I Start and what should I do

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My Story Where Do I Start and what should I do
#100: September 09, 2020, 02:41:00 AM
Thanks Ready, XYZ and Thunder for your kind words and your support.

I hope the Covid situation is gett8ng a bit better for all of you over in the US.. In Australia most states seem t9 be fairly settled now.
It really is an emotional roller coaster but atleast we have all read the script on here.

Good luck everyone.
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Where Do I Start and what should I do
#101: September 20, 2020, 02:58:22 AM
Hi All,

My latest is that my MLC Er is talking about moving out.. initially 5 months back the push was for me to leave my home so this is a step forward in my mind.  It will be incredibly hard on both our kids though.  I am 100% certain 5 months in that I landed at the right location as every possible MLC behaviour is in play.  The spending. The clothes.  The out most nights with divorced friends or younger work mates and recently the affair. 

So I am staying strong and getting physically and mentally fitter but my two teenagers are broken soles.   I think the biggest shock for kids is the completely different personality of their Mum.. As adults we have the benefits of the forum and reading lots but the poor kids have no idea where the monster turns up from.

Hope you are all well and doing best you can with these tricky circumstances

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Where Do I Start and what should I do
#102: September 21, 2020, 07:29:35 AM
Sounds like she's following the script to the letter... I feel sorry for your kids.....
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« Last Edit: September 25, 2020, 03:49:57 AM by UrsaMajor »
Me - 58, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 14, D - 10
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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Where Do I Start and what should I do
#103: September 25, 2020, 12:41:21 AM
Benson,

Sorry for the late reply! You are so strong and you are embracing the future, per what you've told me. You're doing what you can for you and your kids, and you know that your MLCer is now in Replay, which is the longest stage of the journey. Who knows if and when she'll make it out ( you already know my stance). Stay focused and grounded, make sure to take care of yourself and talk to your kids as much as possible about what's happening to their Mum, and how it's not their fault NOR YOURS. She is on her own journey.

You're doing a great job, don't forget that!
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H born in 80
I was born in 83
Started dating in 2004; both felt we were soulmates & kept that feeling for 14 yrs
Married H 2006
D born in 2008
H entered MLC in late 2017
Replay started 2018
H moved out in April 2018; started an affair with a waitress 20yrs younger
H tricked me into moving internationally, then abducted our D for A YEAR
I got D back summer 2019
Divorced Oct 2020
What's helping me:
meditation, reading/listening to audiobooks

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Where Do I Start and what should I do. UPDATE
#104: October 09, 2020, 02:21:23 PM
Hi Everyone

Hope you are all coping ok with your MLC journeys.  Today my wife is moving out of the house.  I have gone to the office for the day and left behind two devasted teenagers. Yesterday my MLCer fought with the kids and phoned me crying hysterically saying that a woman should not leave the family home,  To an outsider and really anyone thAt doesn’t understand MLC I probably do look bad.

This was in no way a normal breakup thought

No concerns or issues laid out over 18 years
Massive bomb drop after teenagers big car accident
Crazy spending $$$$
Massive weight loss
You never and you a always
Loads of partying with divorced and single girlfriends
Screaming at and fighting with 17 yo son when he challenged her behaviour.

So I know this is MLC and I know I have done the right thing stAying in my house for my kids and I but there is and will be devastAtion after 19 years.

New life journey begins tommorrow I suppose.

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Where Do I Start and what should I do. UPDATE
#105: October 09, 2020, 03:02:17 PM
Hi Everyone

Hope you are all coping ok with your MLC journeys.  Today my wife is moving out of the house.  I have gone to the office for the day and left behind two devasted teenagers. Yesterday my MLCer fought with the kids and phoned me crying hysterically saying that a woman should not leave the family home,  To an outsider and really anyone thAt doesn’t understand MLC I probably do look bad.

This was in no way a normal breakup thought

No concerns or issues laid out over 18 years
Massive bomb drop after teenagers big car accident
Crazy spending $$$$
Massive weight loss
You never and you a always
Loads of partying with divorced and single girlfriends
Screaming at and fighting with 17 yo son when he challenged her behaviour.

So I know this is MLC and I know I have done the right thing stAying in my house for my kids and I but there is and will be devastAtion after 19 years.

New life journey begins tommorrow I suppose.

Benson,  I think you will see that things in your home will be much calmer and healthier, now that your MLC'er left home.

Take some time to make it your space.   Remove anything that doesn't fit within your vibe, decor or taste in style.   This is a new chapter, this is your space.  Make it your own.

In time, you will feel a noticeable difference and be happy to be away from the crazy.
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Me (W) 44 - W 42
BD - Jan 17, 2020

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Where Do I Start and what should I do
#106: October 09, 2020, 05:02:24 PM
Thanks LBS_Les
They are really kind thoughts and good advice .
I have read your story previously and I hope you are doing ok.
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