
I haven’t posted for a while. When I reflect back a few years ago this forum helped me immensely and I appreciate Urso and all the great experienced and caring people here. My X MLCer ending up moving out and although it cost me a fortune I paid her out and kept the family house for the kids. I know they appreciate the base and it is home. The only home they have ever known so glad we still have It.
My relationship with my two kids is fantastic so that hasn’t changed. The MLC behaviour my X has displayed since the bomb drop has definitely hurt the relationship she has with the kids. She quickly moved onto a new partner but really jammed him down the kids throats. Two years on they don’t hate the guy but being forced to have regular dinners with him has never gone down well.
Although some normal behaviour remains her personality is very different from the Mum the kids grew up with. As the LBS you never feel there are any winners in this situation. That said as the MLCer continues to behave so strangely it does feel like people all around begin to see the truth.
New Relationship with secret information 😂
So I have dated a few ladies since my X left and I have been seeing the latest girl about four months. Truth is I have really fallen for her and she is a lovely fun and affectionate beautiful girl. Trouble is after a twenty year marriage that ended with MLC partner leaving I do have scar tissue.
The other issue I think many of in midlife will confront is that we very likely date someone’s MLCer. I wonder sometimes if I am just being paranoid but here’s the list
She has been separated four years but not divorced. I am divorced and free
Her kids live with the X but may move back in with her in next few months.
I am a secret to her family and only a couple of her girlfriends know about me.
She was hurt by another guy and even he didn’t meet her kids after nine months.
Her X sounds like a great guy . Feels like she got overwhelmed by life a bit like my X.
My Predicament
Having studied the hell out of MLC I feel like her focus needs to be on the relationship with her kids and not me. I feel like I need to detach in order not to get hurt and also for her kids sake.
So I am wondering how many forum members feel like they are or have fallen into the arms of some else’s MLCer.?