[STP]

Journalling

Easter was very good. All four of my kids made the drive to IL to see my parents and the rest of the family. I was happy XW did not have any plans that woulda kept them away. It's my dads 80th birthday this week and S30 mentioned to me how much better his health is than XWs dad who is younger and is dealing with Alzheimer's disease. KA had plans with her family and could not attend.

This upcoming Friday night KA and I are going to a casino to see a local band for dancing. I saw my new hiker woman friend BB is listed as going to the Facebook event as well. KA will not like it if our date night becomes anything else. Saturday we have different plans and will not be together once they get started at 11am. (I'm going to an out-of-state concert with a guy and therefore shes trying to host a hike for her womens fun group). Sunday night I am leading my first 10-mile bike ride of the year. Buddy JS, BB and a dozen other friends are signed up.

A guy friend of mine I met Oct. 2017 died this past weekend at age 71. I last saw him at my mardi gras party in Feb. It's sad and we are all waiting to find out about funeral arrangements, etc. Being such a photographer I put together 30 some pics I had taken of him over the last five years. Several of the pics are him and MM. She had told me a couple times, the mutual friend wanted to date her. I have not reached out to MM. I don't even think she knows he's gone or had a heart attack. She's so in the clouds and oblivious with her old man bf. Maybe wrong of me to not reach out and let her know whats all over Facebook. We haven't texted in two months and my last two messages to her she has not read. I'm not gonna say anything and when I do hear from her, I'll speak my mind how her bf has ruined who she used to be. Like other women friends have done, once they get in a relationship, they ignore all their friends. Soooo wrong to do that! Ya gotta find balance. Don't make anyone your everything.

[STP]

Journaling

This upcoming Friday night KA and I are going to a casino to see a local band for dancing.

KA and I had a fantastic time dancing at the casino until midnight. The highlight of my busy weekend. The weather flipped on us here in the midwest dropping 50º in two days, thus I postponed my bike ride to this upcoming Sunday night. Saturday, KA has girl scout duties with her D10 and troop, thus I am leading my hike that day. Once again, it it full... with several friends even on the waiting list. I'll let them in and figure out parking.

I got a message from KM yesterday. She's the friend of KAs (the one who kissed me at Halloween when the coast was clear). I've not seen her this year.

Hey there - I saw your post about ghosting or fading away.  While I'm sure that isn't about me - I wanted to respond.  I don't want to be fading away from your life - I have been extraordinarily busy - I opened my own practice  (!), and I have been slightly uncomfortable since Halloween. That being said- can I ask a favor- will you take a picture of me for the website?

KM is a very camera shy person. We decided I will go over to her house (for the first time) this Friday afternoon to photograph her. Although I considered not bothering KA with my visiting our friend, decided it's best to let her know beforehand. I'll tell her the day before in person.

The final weekend in April is my annual Games Weekend with my bro, best friend and S21 (S23 can't make this year) so I won't see KA at all, other than our Tuesday before. I try to plan weekends I can't be with her to be the ones she has D10 to not take away from us alone time.

[MadLuv]

Ok, is KA still friends with KM? I thought she was dropped as a friend. That is nice for you to help, but seems strange she has been out of the picture for a year and then requests a favor.  I would be uncomfortable if I was KA. KM doesn’t seem like a trustable friend, but my trust radar is often on high alert 😂🤣

[STP]

Thanks for your post MadLuv.

They made up in January. KM had messaged me the morning of my wine party saying she didn't like not having KA and I in her life. I chatted with KA about it and she said it was fine that KM be allowed back. KA gave her a hug that night and said she would kick her ass if she ever did that again! They haven't really mingled since as KM has not come around. I know KM bought girl scout cookies from KAs D10.

I know women don't like secrets so I will be transparent going forward. I am known in my social circles as a photographer.

[MadLuv]

Awww, that’s great. Love her her kick her a$$ warning. Too funny!!!

[STP]

Journalling, or I could call this interacting with women. Having four brothers and four sons, it's always interesting to me when I meet one.

A strange occurrence I forgot to mention from Sat night 4/15. Following the concert I attended with two friends, we were hanging around the venue at 10:30 pm hoping to meet the band (something that happens often) and a couple started talking to me. C+JJ They probably spent half an hour focused on me and then insisted I come with them up the elevator to the speakeasy. I told my friends I'd be back and went up where it was like a time warp back to 1926 decor. Most of the patrons and staff were dressed as if it was the roaring twenties (flappers and mobsters). There was a six-piece band with horns and people dancing to ABBA songs. It was surreal. Blonde gal C, who was my age, kept high-fiving me every time she found something in common with me. At one point I felt like they wanted me to go to their hotel room. I mainly walked around taking pics and took one of us three and them in the various rooms of the era (even a room dedicated to Charlie Chaplin). It was mostly couples dining and having no one to dance with, I stayed just 30 mins. A very weird unique experience.

Follow up to my taking photos at KMs house. We talked for an hour before getting around to her head shot pics. Used her bedroom wall as plain backdrop and she made a joke about this not being what she imagined with me in her bedroom. Nothing happened between us other than like 10 mins of hugging. Glad she didn't try to cross the line again.

Last week brunette NJ messaged me to go kayaking with her. NJ is DCs bestie, and I usually only see NJ when they are together. I was busy that day but said perhaps this Fri. I last saw her at my Christmas party in 2018. DC once told me she thought I'd be good with NJ. Nah, shes obsessed with her dogs! The first time I saw NJ was on the POF dating app, but she ignored my text. 

JKR is someone I don't think I've ever talked about. Shes a widow who came to my Christmas cookie swap and is frequent at all my hikes. Shes a photographer as well and is very choosy on who can give a hello hug to her. This past weekend she initiated it. I had 15 hikers and as often JKR is at the back, frequently stopping to take pics. About 3/4 of the way done I turned around and she had made an effort to get  right behind me. So we chatted as everyone does while walking. I stopped to collect everyone on a board walk and fell backwards when a damage plank broke falling into the water. JKR felt bad for not being able to rescue me from the fall. Ha, theres no way anyone coulda, so I was half wet. Anyway she texted me the next morning to ask how I was and again last night informing me about about missing my photographers botanical garden walk this Sunday. So we made plans to go Wed night before the group meeting so she can see it. Shes a super shy person, so it's good to see her warming up to people other than her bestie who is usually with her.

[STP]

Journalling

S21 mentioned to me he is planning to move out of XWs house in June and into a HS friends place in a neighboring city. This will finally make XW an empty nester. I wonder to what degree she will get Empty Nest Syndrome? How intense will the restlessness and loneliness get? Will she get irritated with the OM? Will she have less energy and less motivation to do things? Adopt more pets to pursue her elusive sadness? While I don't wish her ill, I do hope her marriage fails. Let her find a guy whose not a home wrecker. I had her the best 25 years, so what do I care.

I went to a friends memorial service and lo and behold MM showed up. It was good to see her. It was a lil awkward to talk with her with KA beside me, knowing her disdain for my friend. I texted MM inviting her to hang out before her return to MI, but that didn't happen. She's more about spending her avail time with girlfriends.

KA and I went to her cousins sons wedding in TN. We disagreed... her saying it's her second cousin. I say her first cousin once removed. It was a blast. Her D10 did not go but her mom was with us.

I went kayaking yesterday with two friends and invited NJ to come along. I hadn't seen her since my Christmas party in 2019 when she attended with her bestie DC. She's had health issues and on top of covid, explained why she hasn't been coming around. I told her I deleted her from my party group. She thought I was kidding.

This weekend I'm going to KAs, but Saturday am driving to IL to attend my nieces HS graduation, unless it rains. I'll still go to see my mom for Mothers Day.

[STP]

I hope you all had a pleasant Mothers Day. I went the day before to see my niece graduate from HS and visit with my parents after. On places like Snapchat and Instagram I saw what my four sons were up to with XW and OM. It's moments like this I see how wrong it is for anyone but me to be there. OM could've gone to see his own parents. It's worth noting my XW has teal green hair on part of her head. Is this normal for a 55 yr old woman? Always was a signal to me she changed into someone I didn't know.

On the 27th is my 'yellow' party where I ask guests to wear a yellow shirt. KA said yellows not really her color. Then said all she has is summer clothes and May is too cold to wear them. I reminded her of the yellow sweater I bought her two Christmases ago (that she asked for and hasn't worn yet) but she instead said she's not gonna wear yellow. WTF? I think she might be trying some passive aggressive things on me to downplay my parties. A lot of women would welcome the chance to buy something for an occasion but not her.

I don't like to look but next to KAs bed on her nightstand is a small notebook. She keeps track of every time we are together with or without her D10. Alone with her time is very important. There are up and down arrows beside dates. I don't look that closely but it's like a quick guide into her feelings about me. (I've only looked in there twice in 5 years). I just plan on being me and hopefully that works for her.

[STP]

Ups and down and a sequin.

I hope you all had a great memorial day weekend. I sure did with varying degrees of fun. Thursday I had my annual physical and have had chest congestion, so my doc ordered an x-ray to check my lungs over. All clear.

Friday, I had the day off and went in for followup blood work which required 12+ hrs of fasting. Normally I do fine with this sampling of my blood, but this time broke out in a sweat, got nauseated and had my blood pressure drop to 80/50, so they checked me in to the ER. Sheesh. Just for fun I had shared my x-ray online on Facebook and now commented, I was in the ER. Anyway, I got out after an EKG and resting. KA arrived and we went to a comedy club that night and were all laughs. KA later found a sequin on my bedroom floor and wondered who it fell off? It may be joking fun but she then went and put a framed picture of us from my bedroom out on the fireplace mantle... so the new women know I'm taken. C'mon, everyone knows. 

Saturday we went to the outlet mall and I got a "Hey STP!" and it was DC shopping with her son. She asked about my ER visit and we chatted a minute. KA didn't remember her. That night was my yellow party. KA decided to go to a local food truck event with a few others she didn't know before coming back for my party. She did not wear yellow, which I mentioned in my previous post. I made an error in my alcohol consumption and didn't make it until the end of my own party, passing out in bed by 10:40pm. KA kicked everyone out by 11:30. When I woke for a bathroom visit, I saw her sleeping on the couch. Eventually around 6:30 am she joined me. When asked about the couch stay she said I was taking up the whole bed and there was no room for her. I think maybe she was upset as she refused to stand next to me in the group photo as well. She said it was because she didn't wear yellow... and was bothered i was drunk. Pure accident as the drink I made filled the pitcher so high there was no way to put the lid on so I poured myself too big a glass full. It was strong!

Sunday we decided to just stay around my house relaxing after a lunch out. I posted my pics in my Facebook party group. KA got a lot of flak about why she was wearing purple and everyone else in yellow. Groan. Then I got a PISSED off message from DC discovering I had deleted her from my party group. My explaining she hadn't come in three years was taken as disinterested was viewed by her as me ghosting her and wanting to end our friendship. Criminey! I used my skills in negotiating with irate women and invited her back into my group although she then said she didn't want to be back in and has had reasons for not coming that she didn't want to say to me as they might hurt our friendship. Bejeezus. Well we kinda worked it out as I apologized for the blindside removal of her. She has not rejoined yet.
KA and I had a good night watching a movie although she seems less affectionate.

Today I planned to go with KA to her neighborhood rummage sale (40 miles away) but instead rang up S21 and S28 and played 18 holes of disc golf. Been chatting with KA about our days this evening. Next weekend, I'll see her evenings only as I have a memorial to go to in IL followed by my nieces grad party. KA and her D10 were invited but has to stay to have her pool opened. Sunday I have a hike for like 25 people including buddy JS.

[STP]

Journalling

Just living life and keeping busy. I missed a day of work having a fever for two days but got through it fine. Was it COVID-19? No idea. Went for a physical and routine blood work and ended up getting a chest x-ray, EKG and being checked into the ER. I'm fine but sheesh. Saw a covers band one night with some friends, and went kayaking twice with others. KA and I had our date weekend and it was lots of fun going to a botanical garden and sand sculpture contest as well as eating out a few times.

Last week I invited DC to meet for a drink to catch up. She's only in the office one day a week (in my city). I hadn't seen her in 9 months and we had a good two hour chat at the pub by her work. I asked her some direct questions about her wishy washiness... and got satisfying answers to better understand her motives. It's been a tough time for her with difficult kids (She has 5, of which two are adopted siblings). Her bfs recovery from surgery has been ultra slow and it seems slim chance he will move here for her soon. I took some selfies with her and ended with a quick kiss and she asked me to send them to her. I sent her my summer party invite already knowing she can't come. The next day she sent me a funny meme. Saturday I sent her a clip of an 80s song from the radio (which is her favorite) I've heard twice in the last two days. As I was typing this, a photo of herself from 1987 arrived. I guess we're back to communicating.

Friday KA is coming over and we are leaning towards seeing a Queen/Lady Gaga tribute band. Something to dance to.Saturday is my Summer party and KA is attending a Blues Fest with other friends in the singles group. She said she needs a break from my parties and most coming are my newer hiking buddies (not entirely true). She will come back to my house after the concert. I said I'm hoping she clicks with someone at my party (since losing her bestie LD) and she replied

Maybe in another meetup group.  The people that go to your parties are your friends.  I need to find someone that you didn't meet first.

I understand that. It's hard for her because she can't just hang with the girls.  Her life is too busy with adulting. Most women age 50 don't have a D10. Sunday we will do something together and I am leading a sunset 10 mile bike ride at night. Buddy JS and six other friends will attend that.

Fathers Day was fantastic with my four sons. We played 18 holes of disc golf and went to dinner after. I was pleased all four individually at different times requested a selfie with me. I need to schedule more things together with them.