I don't think for my part it is wise to tell your son about MLC. I guess he is sensitive, so he is already understanding a lot and your wife's MLC is already a burden he is carrying. To tell him anything at this stage would lead only to bad consequences :
- for your W when she will hear about it, as she will know it is coming from you she will deny it
- for you because your W will tell you are manipulating her son, you are involving him
- and also for your son, that will add another burden to him as he is already dealing with his own teenage crisis. Children shouldn't parentize their own parents when they are young. I fear he might be paying this later.
The burden is heavy, I believe our role as fathers is to carry it alone and protect as most as we can our children.
I am blessed with three children, two daughters of 16 and 14, one son 5. They are already affected by our current situation, they are already suffering from it so I try to protect them the best I can. In front of them, I always stand alongside my W : I believe it is my place (it is also a change I have decided to do after working on myself, in the past I was more ambiguous)
Only thing I did few days after I discovered OM : I asked my three children to pray for both of us. That's all. When D14 wanted to ask me about our crisis, I told her that it is not her concern. And the prayers I asked were already too much for my W : Monster blamed me to have done that (I have no regret and no remorse). When I told W that our children are affected by our situation, she denied it (obviously), so I never raised again the topic.
M 44, W43. Married 18 years, together 21
3 children D17, D15, S6
OM discovered Dec 22, BD Jan 23 (few days after)
W still living at home
Aimer, c'est donner sans attendre de retour et tout acte est prière, s'il est don de soi (Antoine de Saint Exupéry)
Love means to give without expecting return, and every act is a prayer if it is a self-gift. (thanks OffRoad !)