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Author Topic: My Story Where Do we fit? All Things New!

U
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My Story Where Do we fit? All Things New!
#70: September 26, 2020, 06:51:05 PM
Journaling coming close to closing this past.
Today I paid online the 2014 taxes that were our last joint taxes he was supposed to pay.  I took the money out of my IRA and got rid of the last connection that was over my head.  I had to pay a lot of taxes to draw the money out but it’s done.  I am proud to be out from under everything now.

Update on the townhouse I was going to by.  Turns out a CAIVRS stop came up on a search.  That’s when you owe money to some gov agency like Small business loan, which we did. I was able to write it off in my bankrupcy but it stopped me from getting any other gov loan like a FHA.  Yeh for me! So, I won’t be able to get a gov loan because of his default and pushing me to bankruptcy but it’s ok.  Turns out the townhouse has bad toxic drywall from china.  Long story!  So, I won’t be buying anything anytime soon. But it’s ok.

Thanks to everyone that does read.  It’s kind of gearing down now.  Not much happening after 6 years but I do like to journal it so I have it all in one place.
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Where Do we fit? All Things New!
#71: September 27, 2020, 01:44:54 AM
I know what you mean about liking to journal. I feel when I journal it helps clear things in my own head.

It sounds like you not being able to get the gov loan thing for the town house was actually a blessing in disguise!
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Me - 31
H - 37
3 children together D6 D9 D11 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

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Where Do we fit? All Things New!
#72: September 27, 2020, 09:24:33 AM
Hello,

Sorry to hear about the loan and the townhouse, but it looks like you dodged a real bad investment. I am sorry that your H's financial actions have done so much to you. My ex almost took me down the same path. Now I am almost fully recovered except I will have to work an extra three years past my expected retirement date to make that up. So MLC can still haunt you years down the road.

The nice thing is that just like MLC, bad financial history disappears with time. Keep journaling and when the time is right, you will have that special place that you can call your home.

(((((Hugs))))

Ready

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Re: Where Do we fit? All Things New!
#73: September 27, 2020, 03:41:06 PM
UL, I agree with everything Ready and Sachat said. Although I wish you didn't have to waste your money paying off your irresponsible MLCer's debts from 2014, I'm glad in a way that the debt appeared so that you did not rush into a purchase that might have caused you much more trouble related to your H and his dealings. I am in a similar boat to you: 6 years later, still paying for stuff that my H should have contributed to, not being able to buy what I need because of it. I admire you paying off those 2014 taxes and just saying enough of the tie. You make me want to do the same. These MLCers are leaky buckets with chains. They will sink us if we allow them to. I wish to do the same as you have done, life within my own means without my H's contribution, even if that means living in a small apartment and not the kind of house I would have desired. I'm beginning to realize how much there is to gain by living in peace, as opposed to living in an ideal house but having it come with strings I can't control.

I hope this decision to clean up these 2014 taxes (which are not really yours to pay), will give you a clean slate on which to begin a MLC trouble free life.
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Where Do we fit? All Things New!
#74: September 27, 2020, 04:20:35 PM
Thank you Sachet, Ready and Milly.  I did pay off the 2014 taxes yesterday.  I had money taken out of my IRA.  Of course I also had to get enough out to pay the taxes on the money a drew out so another $2000 that was wasted but I’m done with it.
Milly you are right.  Peace is what I thrive for now.  I don’t really care about where I live as long as I’m in a half away decent place and don’t have to worry about what is going on around me.  Even when I was married none of that really matter.  My ex wanted this grand house that was too big for us and the taxes on it was awful.  I didn’t need that.  I’m glad to have the clean slate on the taxes.  It will actually bring me money in as now when I file taxes I will actually get the taxes refunded to me rather than going into the 2014 pit.   

Milly, I’m sorry you aren’t getting help with your financial stuff.  It’s so weird to me how man are suppose to be leaders but as they grow older they bale on their responsibilities.  Some day both you and I will get what is coming to us or we’ll just enjoy what we have and the peace that goes along with it.  I do want to give you hope through.  I know my ex hasn’t paid yet but there is the possibility he might.  It’s the first time his said he would which means he’s in a different place.  He seems to be following the 7 years stretch.   You MLCer might be on his way as well.  Here’s to praying he gets his life together enough to come through with some of his responsibility.  I’m praying for that.
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Where Do we fit? All Things New!
#75: September 28, 2020, 03:22:02 AM
Hi UL,

Sounds like what xW1 nearly pulled with me too... I took 30K of debt, she bought me out of our house for 1$ (which at least freed my VA entitlement) and then ended up declaring bankruptcy when it was discovered that the builders had used substandard plywood in all the roofs in the area....
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Where Do we fit? All Things New!
#76: October 10, 2020, 03:38:21 PM
WOW, UrSAMajor!  In this case I’m the one that did the bankrucpy first.  He can’t till he get caught up on taxes he hasn’t done since the divorce.  I just freed him of 2014 but that still leave him with his 15,16,17,18,19 and now 20 before he can claim bankruptcy.  Total mess!  But....CONGRATULATIONS TO ME I am now down with the last joint taxes we had together which he was suppose to pay.  I have them paid off!  No more connection with anything that has to do with him now.   YEH!!!!!!
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Where Do we fit? All Things New!
#77: October 11, 2020, 01:18:39 AM
That’s certainly worth celebrating
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Me - 31
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3 children together D6 D9 D11 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
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BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

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Re: Where Do we fit? All Things New!
#78: October 11, 2020, 05:34:37 AM
UL, that is certainly a huge burden less. Well done. One giant step away from the MLCer and the mess they bring with them.
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BD May 2014,
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Where Do we fit? All Things New!
#79: November 12, 2020, 02:37:37 PM
Thanks Milly!!!
Ok, can anyone explain this?  It this MLC personality change even close to the end.
I had as him through email if he could open an account with the IRS so he could see if it showed that the 2014 looked to be 0.  It’s under his SS number so I can’t see it online. He said he would.  A few days went by and I emailed him to see if he had done it. He said that the link I sent him didn’t work.  So I sent him a link again.  Of course he could have googled all this or emailed me back to ask for the link.  A few days I emailed and he didn’t answer.  Then I said I don’t know how to take this are you not going to answer?  He said his phone was dead. I asked him again if he was going to do this and he said the site kept knocking him off.   This all started OCT 24. It’s now Nov 12th. 
I emailed him
Ok, I’m getting the feeling you just don’t want to do this.  It’s frustrating that I paid off the taxes and you can’t do this.  Just be honest if there’s a reason just honest. Just don’t leave me hanging.  I signed up on this site, I know what it takes to do it.
I get this side that isn’t him.  The weird side.
Cool your jets (never heard him say anything like that) I’ll get it done. I work from 9 am to 7 am in the clinic and then I read films.  I’ll try tomorrow. I wrote back WOW and well tomorrow came and he still hasn’t done it. That was on the Nov 9th.
Am I being hard on him?  One thing about him is time.  He doesn’t understand how time gets away.  That’s normal for him but it’s just saying up for a site to see information Goodness Gracious.  I was ticked when he said cool my jets.  I just feel like I don’t need to take that tone from him.
I had my 2nd radiation IV radiation yesterday and all is still well.  No side effect yet.  Thanks for any comments
Blessings
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