Hi everyone!
So I finally have the time to sit down and write some of my thoughts on this situation, this is the long version and will provide a recap at the end, so please feel free to skip this part.
When I asked my wife to marry me, 16 years back, after a two year relationship, I thought she was the right girl for me, we were both around 30 years old, got along pretty well and had a very nice relationship, we enjoyed being together, with our mutual friends and our own professions, she was the single daughter of a divorced couple, and both her parents seemed like nice enough people, she said yes in half a second, and went ahead to tell all our family and friends the next day, happy and merry. The wedding plans were awesome, we enjoyed every step of the way, laughing and getting closer by knowing even better each other preferences, and the negotiation of the few differences actually bond us together further, there was not a single misstep or doubt in either of our young minds that this was going to be perfect, and it was, I had a good paying job and she didn't have to worry about working, but still worked temporary jobs to have a distraction and earn herself some money, which of course I understood and encouraged, a couple of years after our marriage, we had our first son, and it was amazing all the way as well, and then my mother in law started spending more time with us, at first it would be the little things, like my wife being less expressive during sex, we of course didn't want the MIL to become disturbed by a young couple active life, so we had to tone it down, then my MIL started moving things around to suit her better, be it in the living room or the kitchen, and when i asked my wife to talk with her, she said it was not necessary, and didn't want to disturb her, then MIL started spending more time with us, and started becoming confronting about some issues with the kid upbringing, but then, our second son appeared and everything went back to the good old days save that my MIL would now spend most of her time with us, in 2018 my FIL died, and all of a sudden, my MIL came to live with us permanently things went downhill from there, pandemic didn't help with all of us under the same roof, and my wife would step back to avoid getting into discussions that lead nowhere, I started distancing to avoid discussions as well and at some point she started meeting with new friends, most of them divorced, started behaving strangely and by the end of last year, I found proofs of emotional attachment to one of them, I asked for a divorce, she exploded from what i now recognize a low level MLC into a destructive explosive MLC and wants to burn it all to the ground, while my MIL, her half sisters, her group of new friends all tell her that I'm the worst person in the history of the world and that she should to walk but run away from our marriage She now says things that I will not repeat and is distancing by the day, a few months back she requested more space and I accepted to leave the house, my kids now are telling me they prefer my new house than their old house, which will have to be sold as my salary is not enough to cover for both houses and she is distancing more and more by the day. I understand the process and the need for space, and so have kept a sane distance as well, she has been loosing hair and her sight for the last months and looks worst every time I meet her to pick up the kids, now, as she spends a lot of time with her friends, my kids are spending more and more time with my MIL and are somehow distancing as well, this i dont like and try to stay in touch with them as most as possible, do I really have to endure this for the next few years?
In short, my wife entered at the end of last year a destructive MLC, I now live out of my house and everyone of her friends and family is telling her she is better now, but she looks ten years older and doesn't seem happy at all, but still is pushing for more distance by the day, my kids are in the middle ground, they realize their mother is suffering and doesn't understand what is happening, but I can't tell them, I just let them know that I love them every time i can and make sure when they spend their time with me we enjoy it to the fullest.
We're humans, we dream, we create Gods and fight them, and they bless us.