Firstly, I had the same doubts as you. I’m very good with instincts and I remember at my BD lying in bed crying my eyes out and telling myself “it’s a midlife crisis” and the more I looked into it. The more it fit. The only snag was at BD mine was 32. And that’s what made me doubt it. But it’s the whole duck scenario. If it walks like a duck, looks like a duck and quacks like a duck. It is a duck. Now 5 almost 6 years in, yep. I have one hell of a crisis kid. He ticked every box. Right down to getting a Harley. At BD he was 32. I was 26 with a 1 , 3 and 6/7 year old. I can’t even begin to tell you the turmoil that time was for me. However, I can pinky swear you it does get better. You can pop me a message, read my thread/threads if you like as proof. I promise, it gets so much better. My life is amazing now and some days, I’m quite thankful for BD in a weird kind of way.
As for him. Leave him to do whatever he wants to do. By all means, we’ve all wanted to message ow. I did and it was pointless. I sent her proof of him cheating on her. Things he’d said about her etc. I had it all. I was convinced (stupidly) if I got rid of her that’s it and he would be home and unfortunately it doesn’t work like that. This woman is just a stepping stone on his journey. He will get worse, way worse before he even attempts to get better. I mean, you’ve gotta hit rock bottom anyway.
So focus on you. If he wants a divorce, fine, but what do you need financially from that? Protect your assets. These crisis kids sure can spend the money. Self care. Remember to look after you and your child/unborn child, sleep well as best you can. Eat good. GAL as they say. Find hobbies see friends. Believe me. It helps. The best friends I have now I didn’t know at BD. Whatever you do in regards to him, be selfish as you can. And don’t believe a word he says. I believe my 6 year old with chocolate around her mouth who tells me she’s not had a snack, more than I beli ve my crisis kid