[BrenM]

Thunder - would you mind linking the previous thread to this second thread please 😁

previous thread
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8811.150

I have come across this article on "What is Midlife Crisis".  Very interesting and soooo MLC Script, thought I would share with all the beautiful souls whose lives have been touched by the medically non-existent/non-recognized MLC epidemic......apparently we too are living a dream/nightmare (definitely no fantasy 👺)!

My MLCer told me that he needed space and that I deserved better....yes I certainly did and do 😂.  Guess you have to see the funny side of their lunatic behaviors 😬. He also told me that he left me because I wore flannelette pyjamas pants to bed....excuse me they are comfortable and I stopped wearing the sexy lingerie after kids, for obvious reasons.  For many years it did not bother him.  They came off easier and quicker for intimacy then lingerie 💋For the record I now wear sexy lingerie....for me....he is missing out....after participating involuntarily in the MLCer LBS Diet (😜) my body is in good shape....he is missing out big time lol.  I am beginning to think that I might be good enough 👡👗👠👡💃👸 after having my self confidence destroyed and shattered.  Such a dark period for a once very confident woman to endure 😢. 

Looking back we see the pathetic excuses for what they are. Yes they appear to be script for so many of us. ❤




MLC Script: Reasons for leaving and justifications for behavior many MLCers give

I need space.
I need to be on my own. 
I need to go away and find myself.
I need to be alone.
I want a new life.
I’m becoming the man I always should have been.
 
I need to find happiness. 
It’s time for me to be happy.
I haven’t been happy for years.
 
I want to be selfish for once in my life. 
It’s my turn to be selfish now.
I’m tired of spending my life doing what everyone else wants.
 
I feel like I’m dying.
I was suffocating. 
You suck the life out of me.
If I didn’t leave, I’d die.
 
I had to leave.
I tried.
 
The marriage is killing me.
I don’t give a damn what anyone else thinks.
 
I love you but I’m not in love with you.
I don’t love you the way I should.
I haven’t loved you for 10 years, but I was stuck and too lazy to do anything about it.
I never loved you.
I never should have married you.
 
We didn’t work.
We’re not compatible.
We drifted apart.
We’ve become different people.
 
We’re more like brother and sister.
We're more like roommates.
 
In my head I decided you don’t love me.
 
You changed. 
You never change.
Now we can become the people we were meant to be.
 
I felt so alone.
I’m so unhappy. 
It’s a crime to the universe to be this unhappy.
I’m not happy and you are the cause.
Nothing I did made you happy.
All I ever did was try to make you happy.
Nothing I did was good enough for you.
 
Why do you always have to be right about everything?
You emasculated me.
You didn’t make me feel wanted.
You pushed me away.
You abandoned me.
You don’t admire me.
You don't respect me.
You micromanaged me.
You were too controlling.
I’m nothing but a paycheck to you.
 
I didn’t abandon you guys, I still give you money.
You are the one in denial.
You need to move on. 
We’re over and you’re not accepting it.
You’re too independent.
Our marriage was over 5/10/15/20 years ago.
I am never coming back.
 
Why can’t I have both of you?
The affair is not why I left.
The other woman has nothing to do with why I left.
The affair is irrelevant.
The affair doesn’t matter.
The other woman listens to me
The other woman admires me.
The other woman adores me.
The other woman is a fantasy.
The other woman is a distraction.
The other woman makes me feel safe.
The other woman makes me feel sane.
 
You should date other people.
You’ll find someone better than me.
I’m not good enough for you.
I hope you find someone to give you the happiness I couldn’t.
I’m sorry I wasted your time.
I’m sorry I wasted so much of your life.
I hope we can be friends.
I don’t want to make any promises or give you false hope.
 
I’m not leaving the kids, I’m leaving you. 
I did not leave the children.
The kids will be fine with me leaving.
The kids are better off.
The kids are happier now that I’m happy.
I’m a better dad now.
I’m happier now than I’ve ever been.
 
I hope we can settle this amicably, without the need for lawyers.
Maybe we can get back together when all the debts are settled.
Posted by whatismidlifecrisis

[sparklestar]

Hmm I got a 'well I didn't fall out of love with the dog' yeah thanks for that.

It seems it's v true that they just say utter nonsense? What I find really odd is that many don't remember? Any experience if that? When they don't remember what they have said it done etc?

[BrenM]

What I find really odd is that many don't remember? Any experience if that? When they don't remember what they have said it done etc?

It is bizarre how they don't remember things. There have been many occasions.  One that comes to mind is when I told and text my exh about my sons operation, he even replied to thank me for letting him know - note that he did not follow up after the operation to enquire how our son was 😧😧  Then during an argument some months later he told me he didn't know anything about our sons operation as no one tells him anything.......

[maomina]

I remember one of the phrases he said when i had asked him to write a letter to the school to say that he left the kids in my care so the kids could change schools ......his answer

' I will do no such thing I disintegrated by choice '

 His answer still baffles me 

[sparklestar]

What how can you forget a child's operation!?

Blimey. Yes I think we would all do well to just focus less on what's being said it's mostly all nonsense.

This is what I think is probably behind the whole detach thing. I've never fully managed to get my head around it but essentially the MLCr is away with the fairies and so until such time as any sense comes out oau no attention and focus on anything and everything else!

[Not Applicable]

About memory, he engaged in a totally hilarious monstering incident with me and MIL. A week later he had no memory of it whatsoever, but when I recounted it to him he thought it was so funny.

[Thunder]

We were just laughing about some of the things these MLCer said on UM's thread.

Mine gave me his excuse for wanting a D, at bd.  I was still confused and asked him about 3 weeks later.."Now why do you want a D?"  He gave me a completely different reason!

So I started making a game out of it.  Every month or so I would ask him what his reason is..and I swear to God, it was entirely different every single time.  Which of course told me had didn't know why.

I wish I would have written them down.  It's funny now.   

[BrenM]

So do you guys think that they would have absolutely no recollection of their monstering episodes?  I have never really have given this much thought previously.  It might answer some of the lies and stories that my exh has told many people....he truly does not remember.

[Not Applicable]

Sometimes yes, sometimes no, and then sometimes it suddenly comes back to them.

There was one involving him swearing he would not eat some fish I had in the freezer. After the incident the previous week of him forgetting his monstering, I thought it would be safe to reintroduce the idea of eating the fish two days later. And indeed we discussed eating the fish for 5 days and he even confirmed the night before I was going to cook it whether I would cook it or not and then I cleaned the fish in the morning and marinated it only to have him suddenly remember that he swore he would not eat the fish and he said because he now remembered he would not eat it.

I still have the other half of the fish in the freezer and I have reintroduced the idea of eating it several times and he seems to waffle, almost fearful of actually agreeing to eat the fish but he loves this fish and now we built a bbq and I want to try cooking it on the bbq so he really seems conflicted about the idea now.

[KeepItTogether]

That fish story is crazy Changing!

When my H first took his ring off, probably a few days after BD, he told me "I never wear it. Don't feel married."

Then, a few months later, during one of our infamous late night text wars, I whined about him not wearing it. This time he said, "I took it off b/c you told me to."

I stopped the back and forth texting then and there b/c I realized he is just crazy. He's not one to intentionally lie like that. And frankly he was spewing a lot of other bad stuff. No, I think he genuinely thought I told him to take it off. Scary.