[Mlcvetof5]

They can come up with the most bizarre things I've ever heard in my life. At BD #2 out of no where he yelled at the top of lungs "I hate Capri pants!" It caught me so off guard I thought dear God this is not my h he's been abducted by the mothership, hence the "alien" was born.
The other one that stands out was when he came to discuss bills. I had gathered up some of his belongings and asked if he wanted the bread box he made. His response "no, I made it for the house."  Yes, and the house totally appreciates it. Nuts just plain nuts!

[Mlcvetof5]

Sparklestar, it took a while for friends and his mom/stepdad to see the alien, but his mask slipped several times. They are really good at hiding this stuff but some behaviors are just over the top and can't be missed. I've learned my mature friends see right thru the alien as well as his mom. Totally bizarre! My kids picked up on it quick as well.

[sparklestar]

Thanks MLCvet v odd. That post did make me laugh. Funnily that reminded me of my BD when H just randomly and angrily yelled 'I don't want to go to the firetrucking Cotswolds' (we would sometimes go for days out there it's one of the most beautiful parts of the UK).

He just chucked it in randomly I think because he was doing the whole 'I feel trapped I just want to do my own thing rubbish' but I do remember thinking 'what on earth' at the time though...

If anyone knows if the 'science' behind fog / weirdness then I would love to know....

[Mlcvetof5]

Look up cognitive dissonance, compartmentalizations, also I found a bunch of stuff by just googling it. There is right much on the Internet about it. To me the "fog" is like a heavy dose of them unable to deal with themselves. It's like a pull into the fantasy of a life time that no one will dare stand in their way. The "I'm running out of time and have to get this right this time. my fogged alien has reconnected with his estranged dad after 23 years. The ap is just like the dad. The alien also reconnected with immature people he's had nothing to do with prior to all of this. The fog pulls you in to right the wrongs. "Plus you've got the depression going on. They get so depressed they feel nothing then some serpent pays attention and he's found his third soulmate. Chemicals in the alien brain then react and that too plays into the fog.  I looked up male depression and found the "fog" in the readings as well. Not mentioned per say but you could tell that's what it was. Depression along with FOO issues are just a ticking time bomb that some of us are lucky enough to have to encounter in this life time. I'm not good with describing the "fog" but would encourage you to read multiple sources relating to the "fog". There are so many aspects to this it's really too much to comprehend at times. Hope that helped a bit!

[OneHotMess]

Look up cognitive dissonance, compartmentalizations, also I found a bunch of stuff by just googling it. There is right much on the Internet about it. To me the "fog" is like a heavy dose of them unable to deal with themselves. It's like a pull into the fantasy of a life time that no one will dare stand in their way. The "I'm running out of time and have to get this right this time. my fogged alien has reconnected with his estranged dad after 23 years. The ap is just like the dad. The alien also reconnected with immature people he's had nothing to do with prior to all of this. The fog pulls you in to right the wrongs. "Plus you've got the depression going on. They get so depressed they feel nothing then some serpent pays attention and he's found his third soulmate. Chemicals in the alien brain then react and that too plays into the fog.  I looked up male depression and found the "fog" in the readings as well. Not mentioned per say but you could tell that's what it was. Depression along with FOO issues are just a ticking time bomb that some of us are lucky enough to have to encounter in this life time. I'm not good with describing the "fog" but would encourage you to read multiple sources relating to the "fog". There are so many aspects to this it's really too much to comprehend at times. Hope that helped a bit!

Thanks mlcvet!! I often wondered about this. I have doing so much research on MLC but never thought to look more into this.

[Mlcvetof5]

You're welcome, but the long timers on here will give you more insight. There are some fascinating people on here. I'm new to writing on here , but have followed many and am truly impressed.
Another thing the alien said to justify his BD#1....the famous "well I've prayed about all this and God keeps telling me to be happy. I've prayed and prayed". At that moment, I thought he had a brain tumor. I told the alien if his god was telling him all this I had no idea what god he was praying too but it wasn't my God and I'd be praying to my God and I'm sure He'd have something to say about it!
BD#2 he went with the whole she (me) likes nothing I do...hiking boating camping pure script. "I've finally found someone (this was his third soulmate mind you) who likes everything I do" well yes typical borderlines will conform to whatever they need ️too to win their prize. Too bad, after 1 1/2 years the serpent doesn't like hiking and biking anymore or getting in the water at the lake. Sometimes they have to have their nose rubbed in it! I stay far away! I don't want no demon jumping on me!

[nah]

BD#2 he went with the whole she (me) likes nothing I do...hiking boating camping pure script. "I've finally found someone (this was his third soulmate mind you) who likes everything I do" well yes typical borderlines will conform to whatever they need too to win their prize. Too bad, after 1 1/2 years the serpent doesn't like hiking and biking anymore or getting in the water at the lake.

HAHAHA.... Yes!!

I remember my heart being broken b/c the few times the Leaver mentioned the girl he made them sound like two peas in a pod who finally found their soulmate. 

We very rarely talk at all especially about her but in four years this is what he has said about her/them....

She doesn't drink.
... now he didn't drink for about 20 years b/c he is an alcoholic.  I am a social drinker and his new skill of gas-lighting made me feel like I was drinking too much (one drink once in a while). 

The truth?
She does drink (like a fish I am told) and he confessed to me recently that he in his words, "had a drink and I can't stop obsessing about drinking". 

He said out of respect to me  , she would not go to any of his band gigs and he wouldn't have anyone else on our motorcycle (this is something we did together)

The truth?
She was showing up and he would yell at her to leave.  So, obviously she didn't give a sh!t about respecting me (well duh), and he was just embarrassed b/c everyone there knew me and that we were married.  Yes, she didn't ride on our motorcycle, not out of respect but b/c she was afraid to ride.

Here's where it got funny (well to me, probably not so much to him  )...  He ALWAYS loved motorcycles, I was on a motorcycle the night we met in 1984.  He was obsessed with bikes the entire 30 years I knew him, he never went to the bathroom without a motorcycle magazine....never in 30 years.   However now since she hates motorcycles AND he ran out of money, he had to sell our motorcycle that I gave to him and didn't count as an asset in our divorce, I wanted him to keep it b/c I knew how much he loved it.

His new "truth"?  He told me that he was too old to ride (at 48 yrs old) and he didn't really care that much about bikes anyways. 

He told me they were like Bonnie and Clyde.  Why?  They stole a grill from Lowes, Yep he was all proud of this accomplishment with his new partner in crime.... literally.

Again in his words, "she is a lot like me, she hates people too"
Well, if that's a match made in heaven good luck to the both of them. 

So, the point of all this is don't worry about the new wonder couple who seem to run off into the sunset happily ever after.

It is not what it seems.  The truth will fall into your lap in good time.  In the meantime, take care of yourselves.

[Mlcvetof5]

I 100% agree nothing is what it seems in mlc land. The serpent early on (now mind you he had three affair partners running at the same time plus me...so he's been with this affair partner roughly 3 1/2-4 years and there was another soulmate at the same time of his current soulmate) anyway the serpent posted on her fb fantasy land page all about her hero. I laughed...if her definition of a hero is a man that abandons his family that hero need not get near me. After I seen her game, truthfully I did not waste anymore mind space on her.
At one time I thought maybe he's happy. Uh nope.....reality check says absolutely not! See the alien lives in a house built by the man whose marriage was destroyed, he sleeps in his bed, he's adopted the 4 house dogs and 2 house cats along with all their hair. My h never liked house pets never. Now he enjoys them daily. My thought is the depression gets to a point there is nothing felt...nothing unless it is high energy stimulus etc.. They run and run and keep running until there is nothing more to run too.
I use to get upset early on about pics the serpent would post....now I don't even look. I finally realized it's all about her wanting fb attention to make herself feel better because she's not getting her narc supply anywhere else. I pity her and pray for her daily....someone actually came to me and said the serpent has gain a lot of weight 25-35 pounds.....my response see God answers prays!

[sparklestar]

God Nah your post s are so informative they always help!

Ok confession what is FOO? I haven't known for months!

I just didn't see any of the signs of male depression it was only at BD when my h said he felt numb had no feelings for anything not even his mum and dad, felt nothing for women, just acted his way through work etc that I thought it was - he sobbed and was v withdrawn and showed the signs of depression for like 3 days then he ran. When he came to pick uk stuff 2 weeks later he was v diff v cocky almost dismissed the 3 days of depression and blamed being unhappy in the relatiibship? He then babbled on about how he needed to be true to himself (wanted to go on holidays, snowboarding be a lad basically). I know his depression is likely covert everything about him is very closed anyway but not seeing the classic male depression has always made me wonder if that's what was behind this?

[barbiedoll]

I have avoided this thread ... something with the word "justification" makes me anxious . Stirs up something still unsettled .

1.a reason, fact, circumstance, or explanation that justifies or defends:
His insulting you was ample justification for you to leave the party.
2.
an act of justifying :
The painter's justification of his failure to finish on time didn't impress me.
3.
the state of being justified.

Maybe I am not clear on the definition.. but is a justification fact or lie? I do not know what the brain boggle is about this but when I hear "justification" , it seems it is a "lie' to explain what a person did or has done (?)

noun. basis or consideration for action
 cause
ground
grounds
interest
justification
motive
rationale
rationalization
reason
regard
sake

Can someone clear that up in my brain. My husband has told me about his frame of mind , his thinking, his reactions . I am confused about what to call these statements .  They are his "truths".  But, somehow, "reasons " for having an affair ... are fabrications ?   sigh... I knew I should have stayed away from this word . JUSTIFICATIONS ...