[Lostinthewoods]

Hi madluv,
Thank you for sharing your experience. I understand this is soo unimaginably crazy.
I don't want to live like this given a choice. I also know making the choice is in my hands and the abuse can stop.
There are many ifs and buts. I know i will get to a place of healing. Right now priority is the house , sons college.
Update: I've gone dark grey like I told you'll earlier.  He behaves himself,  he is also mostly to himself.  Both of us extremely busy with work.
I'm studying and completing certifications to help my career. Even though I have a tough boss she is happy with my work. Spend Lots of energy at work. I actually enjoy work. Have lots of fun.
( completely God's grace).
I watch q movie or some program before hitting the bed.
Am I over it? No. There qre tears some days  sandness comes and goes, I manage.  I am doing better than I thought. Except for the loss of this part of my life I'm ok.

[Lostinthewoods]

Hi Everyone,
OK Journaling,  it has been week since we.had the talk and arguments.
I've gone completely dark. He asks questions ( very rarely) I just respond. I do not volunteer any conversation.
He is still here even though he is sure our relationship is over and that it will not work between us.
In the last conversation I had I was clear about what I wanted. I'm not compromising.
MLC has taught me not to run behind him. I've always been the pursuer.  Not anymore.
Iin the first 2 years after MLC I wanted him somehow. Now not so  much . I can live without him. In fact given the way he is behaving it would be better he was not here. I would.like.to think of it as some progress.
I wonder why he is here even though it is all over in his eyes? He is extremely sure because he cannot be transparent with me.
He told my son whenever he was transparent it came back to bite him.
I asked him to give me one valid example or scenario and he had none
He also said he had exited the marriage long back
Why is he here and irritating me?

[KayDee]

Wow, seems like you have turned a really important corner Lost. And in answer to  the 'why is he still here' question, I evoke my favourite MLC answer of 'who knows'? Keep the faith in you. You will see, more and more, you are the one holding all the good cards.

[Songanddance]

Hi Everyone,
OK Journaling,  it has been week since we.had the talk and arguments.
I've gone completely dark. He asks questions ( very rarely) I just respond. I do not volunteer any conversation.
He is still here even though he is sure our relationship is over and that it will not work between us.
In the last conversation I had I was clear about what I wanted. I'm not compromising.
MLC has taught me not to run behind him. I've always been the pursuer.  Not anymore.
Iin the first 2 years after MLC I wanted him somehow. Now not so  much . I can live without him. In fact given the way he is behaving it would be better he was not here. I would.like.to think of it as some progress.
I wonder why he is here even though it is all over in his eyes? He is extremely sure because he cannot be transparent with me.
He told my son whenever he was transparent it came back to bite him.
I asked him to give me one valid example or scenario and he had none
He also said he had exited the marriage long back
Why is he here and irritating me?

Oh this is all so familiar.....
Clinging Boomerang - stay at homer. He is in crisis and you are his anchor.  Yada yada.......
You're doing a great job in your own progress.
Unfortunately there is the acceptance that this behaviour and being still around is "normal" for a clinger.

Live your life and at some point you will know what to do.

It took me a long time to decide; your timeline is your own to choose and navigate.

[Lostinthewoods]

Hi Everyone
Thank you kayde and S&D
Yes I feel I've turned a corner too. I think it's a little more than a month since the last big fight.  I've lost some more of my love. So many things he does does not make me weep. I don't feel much towards him at all.
I have posted my sad days here. This is Victory in my eyes as I have been able to deal with the new reality better now.  He does talk regarding the house or the kids, i do not initiate any conversations and my answers are few words to a sentence max. I love talking and laughing. That is who I am.now I do not. It requires some amount of self control and the hurt after last time has really sunk in. ( first time in 25years of knowing him , I have not pursued or tried to fix anything) I do not question anything. I'm just letting him go. All this is not my natural previous self.
I'd like to tell something that happens today.
We were in our garden as I wanted to make some plants ready for the new house. He kept talking about the fruits and vegetables, and then he tells me " when we make our garden we must do .
........." ( do not want to bore you).
I thought to myself what the f... how can someone think it's OK to continue to live like this and after telling me we are over he is building some sort of future. I do not understand.