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Author Topic: My Story New life here I come...

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My Story Re: New life here I come...
#20: January 01, 2019, 11:48:47 AM
Quote
I think you’re doing fine. I can honestly share that after 9 years at this, I still have tough moments.
I stopped worrying about whether I had them and instead focused  how quickly I got myself out of it.  That I felt was a better indicator of how I was doing.

I think that Believer has a great perspective.
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« Last Edit: January 01, 2019, 11:49:58 AM by Reinventing »
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Re: New life here I come...
#21: January 01, 2019, 12:10:47 PM
Treasur,Believer,Shelly,Reinventing

  Thank you all for stopping by and for your advice.

   The holiday blue hoos got to me ugh.

Picked myself up this morning and a better attitude.  Thanks again everyone
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Re: New life here I come...
#22: January 01, 2019, 12:22:27 PM
Holidays do that Rope! I would think it would be strange if your weren’t sad. And of H is “happy” right now, my guess it is just a mask. He’s newly married and is probably trying to figure out why his depression didn’t suddenly end.

Doing great Rope. Happy New Year!
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Me 50
H 49
S15
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance
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Re: New life here I come...
#23: January 01, 2019, 12:33:27 PM
Kit
  Thank you hon,yes all newly wed bliss until it's not.
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Re: New life here I come...
#24: January 04, 2019, 12:32:39 AM
Time to jot a few things down

  Happy new year to everyone,may it bring us some enjoyment and happiness.

  Nothing new from xh,their still in honeymoon stage, ::). That sounds so firetruck ing strange . How can my soul mate be remarried?

  In some ways I feel like I'm coming out of the fog myself. It's as if this is happened in a movie it can't really be happening to us. We were forever ,always .
  I guess that's what keep me in such a state of mind for so long. It's not easy to accept the things he has done and said, all the lies about everything . I know you all know what I mean by everything little ,big,didn't matter to him. It has taken a long time for me to get to this point in his MLC because it really affects us more than them.

  I am looking foward to this new year so much . Gone is the victim ,I refuse to be the victim any longer . I didn't loose the man I loved he was gone before BD ,I just didn't see it . Those LBS blinders really work lol.

  I'm not making resolutions but instead I'm making life changes. I'm getting my house looking good ,to me ,that's what counts. I have always,always wanted a canopy bed,I guess it's the princess deep down in all of us , lol. But I'm finally getting one . I'm like a 53 yr old teenage girl lol. I purged my kitchen I threw away a lot of things that reminded me of him, and it felt good. Now I have only one place to exorcize him from ,but that can wait because I don't have to see it everyday,all the stored items like his old report cards ,old anniversaries cards ,you know what I mean.

  My g/f asked me just today , RB don't you ever get curious as to where they live? I said nope and it's the honest truth . I have no desire to know anything about them,or him. He tore all the caring for him out of me. Oh I know i will have moments, triggers, but I'm finally going through it . I tried over and around because I just did not want to accept it ,but now that I have it does not hurt as deep. The dreaded TIME word really works.

 To anyone in the first couple years of this ,breathe,take stock of what you have ,not what you lost ,because I bet if your honest with yourself you will see that they were lost before this. Hold onto the good memories because it really won't hurt forever.
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Re: New life here I come...
#25: January 06, 2019, 04:57:42 AM
Rope, I love that you're getting your princess bed! This is wonderful.
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Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D26, D23, S16
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.
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Re: New life here I come...
#26: January 06, 2019, 08:27:33 AM
I think once you accept in your head, that is NOT my spouse, it gets easier to separate the two.

The OP's don't have our soul mates, they have a shell of a person who doesn't even exist.  Like a phantom person.

You know your spouse would never do or say the things these alien beings do to hurt you, they loved you.  Don't ever doubt that.
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."
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Re: New life here I come...
#27: January 06, 2019, 08:38:56 AM
Milly
     Will be a few more months but yes I can't wait.

Thunder
  Exactly my soul mate disappeared about 5 yrs ago .

  Yes the acceptance is eye opening. Once it happens you feel like the world has lifted.from your shoulders

 Thank you  Thunder for you words ,I know she didn't get the man I loved ,love, he is gone . But I know how wonderful he was ,she never will.
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Re: New life here I come...
#28: January 06, 2019, 08:43:14 AM
Exactly Rope, she will never have the man you had.  Never.
None of them will.

I pity the whole lot of them. 
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."
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Re: New life here I come...
#29: January 06, 2019, 08:45:57 AM
You know your spouse would never do or say the things these alien beings do to hurt you, they loved you.  Don't ever doubt that.

I believe that you meant to put this in the present tense, because the real person is still there.  They "LOVE" you.

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