FW- I have always loved having a word each year as well. I have always picked very deep meaning words or quotes for the year. This year funny enough I decided to go to the basics of where my focus needs to be and decided in a self serving and maybe a bit selfish word which is far from my norm. My word this year is simply “ME”
Wonderful!
Well i love the "my word". Mine will be "live"!!! I find i am learning to live for myself more and more.
5hil
I love it 5hil, that sounds perfect!
Each year since BD, I have chosen a word that resonates with me. It started in February of '16 when I was 2 months out from BD and 2 months out from the D date on the other side. I attended a conference called IF:Gathering. While there, I was given a domino and a sharpie marker and asked to pray that I would be given a word that resonated. I prayed and felt in my spirit that my Word should be Courage. It served me very well that first year, and the word continued to come swirling at me throughout the year, coming to me again, from an unlikely source from someone the day before the D, and ending with a huge culmination at the end of 2016, during my first Christmas after BD and D. My xMIL gave me a gift for Christmas. She had no idea what my word was and yet, the gift she gave me was a beautiful tea/coffee mug with the word Courage on it and a scripture verse on the other side. I cried when I opened it. I was flabbergasted.
At the time, I felt that it must mean that we would be restored. Why else would the Lord use my MIL to confirm my word? Well, I don't know because the Lord works in mysterious ways. However, what I do know is that it served it's purpose in what was being done in me through this beautiful journey, this process of refinement.
Last year, my word was Surrender. It just kept coming at me the first of the year, and then solidified when I was reading a book later, like around March called The Surrender Experiment. I've found when I've surrendered, that things have worked out for me, and I have much more peace about things. For me, it's more about being the co-pilot and letting the Good Lord do the steering. Like, "Ok God, what's next?"
The last few days, I had it narrowed down to 3 words and the more I mull over the 3, they are all very good, but one just keeps surfacing, and it's the word "Purpose" - it just continues to stir something in me as I sit with it. Sometimes I have to sit with my word a bit to decide if that's to be the ultimate word that I go with for the year.
My threads go back a long, long ways, but I definitely do talk about my words with a little bit of depth each year I think.
But I'll sum it up nicely here, just in case anyone is interested and doesn't want to dig back through.
2016 - Courage (and boy did I need it in a big way and then realize later on that I probably had it all along, just needed to draw from it)
2017 - Intention (This was the full year after BD and D and I really found myself needing to be intentional with things. Relationships, rebuilding a life, sometimes kind of faking it until it was no longer faking.
2018 - Passion (and not necessarily the romantic kind, but I started to remember who "I" was and to draw on some of that passion for life that had come from before. Back to when I was a child, before I was "jaded" by the world.
2019 - Preparation (the action or process of making ready or being made ready for use or consideration - something done to get ready for an event or undertaking) - there was a lot for me this year about Hope, but I ultimately went with Preparation. It just resonated. I felt like I was getting ready for something, but wasn't sure what. Looking back in my notes (I screenshot a lot) I saved it with this poem
"Still upward to thine onward course;
For this I pray today;
Still upward as the years go by,
And seasons pass away.
Still upward in this coming year,
Thy path is all untried;
Still upward may'st thou journey on,
Close by thy Saviors side.
Still upward e'en though sorrow come,
And trials crush thine heart;
Still upward may they draw thy soul,
With Christ to walk apart.
Still upward till the day shall break,
And shadows all have flown;
Still upward till in Heaven you wake,
And stand before the throne."
2019 - this year was a big year of changes. I left the comfort of my work family, people who had been there for me through BD and the rocky months after divorce, into a new job utilizing a different skillset from before, and ultimately it was the best move post pandemic, without even knowing that 2020 was happening.
Fast forward to 2020 and it really just seemed perfect that the word should be Vision. Who doesn't want 20/20 Vision. Of course 2020 was an interesting year, with a lot of craziness and uncertainty. But with it, came the marriage of my former H and the loss of a "vision" and I had to begin looking toward a new vision. Lots of soul searching, and asking God "why" and wrestling with it, and revisiting the stages of grief once again, and with that came acceptance and being able to move forward once again.
And that's where Surrender came in for 2021. After the wrestling.
Dark night of the soul after Bomb Drop, where I almost didn't survive, but found the COURAGE.
And at the end of each year, I don't just DROP that word for the year. I BUILD on it. Courage is still there, and I reach for it whenever needed, which is still very often. I still revisit intention, and sometimes have to get back on track with that one. Sometimes it's putting my phone down and being in the moment with my children. Being intentional takes cultivation. I pursue passion and draw on it from deep within. "Passion is what motivates us to do the things we love. It is that strong desire that allows you to create something extraordinary—the fuel that keeps the fire burning. Being passionate about something gives you a sense of purpose." - I couldn't have come to purpose without passion. But I also needed preparation, even when I wasn't sure what I was preparing for. And yet, because preparation led me to that new job, I was in a pretty good place once 2020 hit, and I was able to continue to get paid and work from home without missing a paycheck. Things were bleak sometimes, don't get me wrong, but once the middle of the year hit, Vision is what propelled me forward into 2021. And with that, came a sense of peace, a surrendering. Realizing that my desire for control was sometimes at war with what needed to come. With the sense of surrender came a sense of rightness. If I hadn't surrendered to the restructuring of my job, even though it took some risk, I wouldn't have gotten the promotion I got. I surrendered to the loss of my vehicle, that came to rest broken down in front of my home. And gained a new car in the process. I've surrendered the dating piece, and the thought of getting on dating apps or doing anything pursuit wise in dating right now sounds absolutely exhausting, so, if there is to be dating later, it will be from a place of peace, where God brings that person into my life.
And throughout that, there have been some other words, that maybe were secondary words for the year that have woven themselves into the threads of my journey, the beautiful tapestry that is being woven of my life. Hope, Joy, Perseverance, Stillness, Grace, Beautifully Broken, to name a few. And then there is FAITH. FAITH is probably my word of the DECADE or Century lol
Wow, 5hil, your question might have opened up for more than you bargained for, but it was very good for me to get my thoughts out here. So thank you!
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