[Watcher]

Yesterday was half marathon #25. The morning started with a thick fog which made driving difficult. I exited the fog after some time and drove into the sun as it rose over the Atlantic Ocean and it's rays were blinding as it covered the roadway in yellow and just as thick as the gray fog.

I finally arrived at the beach and was met by a red 🦊 which is supposed to be good luck. Well IDK about yesterday.

The race started at 9am. I think I've picked up a lot of bad habits running by myself. Maybe I need to start running listening to music again.

This race had official pacers and that distracted me. Instead of running my race I was too focused on the pacers I think. This was my first organized half marathon since March 2020.

The humidity was really bad and the stations only offered water which did not help as Gatorade would have been more beneficial on a day like yesterday. I developed leg cramps around mile 11 as dehydration was probably setting in.

There was no shade on this course and the sun was booming. It's funny, the temps were probably only 75 degrees and I still got a new layer of color. I did see many people walking towards the end so I know I was not the only one impacted by the conditions.

I was all kinds of sore and tired afterwards and that was a bit unusual for a half marathon. I think I maybe out of race shape, which is kind of foolish, since I'm only competing against myself. I definitely came out of the gate too fast as I really ran well during the first 4 miles.

The AC Marathon is in 2 weeks and my long runs during training have not been that great so IDK. Yesterday certainly didn't give me any encouragement for the marathon. I will definitely have to use a different approach for that one.

The 2022 London Marathon Lottery opened up this week. It's only open for 5 days. So I filled out my ballot and I had to put down American. However it then asked me to specify my ethnicity.

So the only two options were Irish and Other. LOL, those British ! What are they up to with that question ? That answer can go either way. Are they going to favor those with Irish descent or punish them, lol. Is this an Irish need not apply Marathon ?

That drawing is not until February so we shall see what the Brits are up to in due time.

In other news, her typical cycles are afoot as she is locking the boys down again and S18 has gone along with her program which leads me to conclude that his progress was just an illusion.

[rosetintedglasses]

Found you Watcher.

I am behind with your story but I am with you now so that’s the main thing.

Glad you are still running. I’ve missed you.
Rose 🌹

[FaithWalker]

Attaching

[UrsaMajor]

Coming along for the next installment of ....

"Marathon Man?"

I hope that S18 can rebel a bit and break free...

[Reinventing]

Glad to hear from you again, Watcher. I was not surprised and was amused at you competing differently due to competing with the pacers. Yes, weather and crowds can tremendously change how a run feels and goes.

[MadLuv]

I envy those that can run. I can walk fast, but that is it! Attaching to follow

[Watcher]

Hi Rose, FaithWalker, UrsaMajor, Reinventing, Tornup.

Well I noticed during my past 2 races that I'm also distracted by runners having conversations so I need to start listening to music again to drown it out. These two guys were droning on and on about work and IDK if they lost me or I lost them but I knew it wasn't going to work out.

During the prior 10K I had two women discussing this romance novel. It was about a man who loved a woman, who married another man. Then the husband died, she moved away, and that stalker man, because that it what he really is ladies, spent his life looking for his lost love. Just wow.

Luckily that was a 5k/10k combo and they were running the 5k and we went our separate ways, hahaha. Throw in those pacers during the half marathon and I was a mess, lol.

I have run 515 miles for this upcoming marathon. I had run 800 miles prior to the 2020 marathon and only 300 miles prior to the 2019 marathon so I should be ok but I'm not feeling to sure of myself yet.

So yesterday S18 did goto his dermatologist appointment in the morning. He also went for his lab work last week. He is also no longer pursuing his driver's license as he gave me every 'my dog ate my homework' excuse in the book a few weeks ago.

He texted me wanting to know where I was at as I must have been running late. Then when I arrived I had to wait 15 minutes for him since his mom was home. Games. He gets in the car and tells me his mom had him wear pants instead of shorts and that was the delay. Control.

The appointment went fine and this is month #4 of treatment so there should be a November visit and a December review and then we will see what happens next. We should be done. It's only a 5 month treatment plan.

I took him back home because he has online courses and we had to wait for his mom to come home to let him in the house. Control. Now she probably had taken S21 to college since he was not home. She pulled up behind my car and I was like, you gotta go, lol. She never gets out of her car anyway.

I went to kickboxing later in the afternoon and we had made plans for dinner afterwards. Well he texted me after I got out of class and canceled because she was going to make dinner. It's funny because he canceled for himself but did not know if that meant S21 would also cancel.

He has a very odd way of phrasing his texts with me so my replies are usually just an, ok no problem, since I know he is under duress.

So the high mania of late August has subsided and we are in angry vindictive mode which is probably depression I guess or she could be just a b!tch.

When he canceled his DMV appointment a few weeks ago I realized that her cycles are never going to end. It's been 6+ years of the same cycling. So the boys will need a father again when she is back in mania and who knows when that will be.

S18 next appointment is November 10th so I don't expect to hear from him until then and hopefully we can at least finish his treatment.

Enjoy your day everyone
Thank you

[PJ Ames]

Along for the run.

[Watcher]

Hi PJ.

No running for me this weekend as I rested. It was actually nice to have 2 whole days of not feeling any kind of soreness. Unfortunately I ate 3 donuts yesterday so I was back in the gym this morning and lost two of them. Two off days in a row is the max.

I'm trying not to feel too rested nor too tired for the marathon on Sunday.  Three more days this week at Kickboxing where I try to focus just on my chest, arms and abs while leaving my legs alone.

My friend believes this one instructor does not like men however I'm beginning to think she doesn't like women. Today I was the only man in the class so I was thinking would she really be punishing me or the 15 women in class. Hmm....

Well if it feels sore that means it's working. That's what they tell me anyway. My wireless earbuds arrived yesterday so I will now have music while running.

The weather looks good for this weekend and 8 of the miles are run on the boardwalk. The current song is 'Buy Dirt' and it would have been better had Jordan Davis carried it by himself. Luke Bryan kind of ruined it but it's still a good song.

Enjoy your day

[Dumbfounded]

Attaching.

[Watcher]

Hi Dumbfounded.

I was looking at this marathon course map today. Miles 1-7 are run through the streets and miles 8-13 are on the boardwalk. It then goes back to the streets for miles 14-22 and finishes with miles 23-26 back on the boardwalk. I ran a 5k on this boardwalk in 2018 and finished in 3rd place for my age group.

There are 19 aid stations and 13 music venues along the course. This is a 8am start with temps at 52 degrees, which is good, and they rise to 62 degrees with full sun. I have a 10 minute walk to the start/finish line so I don't have to be there at 530am like I did at Philadelphia in 2019.

This is advertised as the 3rd oldest marathon in the United States with it's inception in 1958. I think this is a small marathon with only 619 finishers listed in 2019. Philadelphia had 14,000+ finishers when I ran in 2019.

I was originally signed up for the NJ Marathon which was to be held on this same weekend but was canceled so I'm sure a fair amount of people took the transfer offer to the AC Marathon.

I don't think I trained properly this Summer but I looked at my stats from 2019 and 2020. The training this year was very similar to that in 2019 so I should be fine.

There is a 5k and 10k on Saturday and both a half and full marathon on Sunday so there should be a fair amount of runners. This was offered to me as a replacement race in August so I'm not too familiar with it.

The indoor expo is on Friday and Saturday and already had to be moved outdoors due to covid but I think there is no turning back from holding the race at this point. It's such a production to pick up the racing bib.

I went to kickboxing this morning and I will shut it down now and await the weekend.

[KeepItTogether]

Good luck on your marathon Watcher. I know you'll do great.  I was just in AC in June. 

[Watcher]

Hi KIT.

The 2019 Philadelphia Marathon medallion was the Liberty Bell. It's very impressive and quite heavy. The 2020 Marine Corps Marathon medallion was the Marine Corps emblem with Iwo Jima sand inside the globe.

The AC Marathon medallion is a lighthouse, lol. Oh 'Be the Lighthouse'. I may just stop at 25 miles as an act of civil Hero Spouse disobedience. People are excited because it actually lights up. Well mine better look like the Titanic sitting on the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean.

Yes 'Be the Titanic' may have confused some people when they arrived here but they would have gotten used to it, lol.

I twerked something on Tuesday in the gym but my leg feels fine today. I was a little nervous. My coworker is a 45 yr old Crossfitter and he is just breaking down. He had back surgery during the Summer, he then purchased a Peloton which broke, so he then went running and injured his hip.

Shalane Flanagan is a 40yr old woman who is running all 6 World Majors within 42 days. The Chicago lottery opens on Oct 19th. So I was thinking I could be the guy who just wins all the lotteries and actually doesn't run the races.

I see this woman visiting her father since we had that flood in early September. She was 17 and I 15 a very long time ago. We did not date but we always accompanied the couple who was dating that Summer. She went away to college and I went back to high school where I then boarded the Titanic.

Enjoy your day

Thank you

[Watcher]

I found this Irish Pub which was a 1920"s speakeasy. The wood is all cherry wood and its dimly lit with Tiffany lamps. Old newspapers are imprinted on the ceiling. This is how Darth Vader must have felt in the bacta tank.

It looks like Joe DiMaggio was a regular here as his memoribila adorns the walls. This place is called the Irish Pub and Inn. Rooms go for $36 dollars a night but there are no bathrooms. Apparently people didn't bathe back in the 1920"s. I'm not staying here because I'm not that hardcore into history.

Even the tiled floors are amazing. Someone just ordered a Yuengling and IDK how they are not being ushered out of this bar, lol. Yes my spell check is working overtime and this post is taking forever.

One of the perks of preparing for a marathon is drinking Guinness pints on a Friday night. The Guinness here is phenomenal as was the Irish coffee. Oh if the marathon were tomorrow it would be interesting. It could be a sub 4 hour or a disqualification, lol.

See, you too could enjoy a Guinness pint if you trained for a marathon.

I wonder if they have Guinness in Berlin. I already picked up my bib for Sunday. Apparently Bally's has a beach bar and that's where it was but I read online that this place was a hidden gem.

The Irish coffee was also great and ,yes, that is also a prerequisite for marathon training. This training is not for the feint of heart. I'm not going to remember this tomorrow so I need to journal it now.

So if you visit AC, you have to visit this Irish pub on St James Place. You too will know how Darth Vader felt in the bacta tank, lol. Tomorrow will not be as exciting.

OMG, edit for misspelled words is so annoying.

[Watcher]

This morning we had 52 degrees at the start of the marathon after it was 84 degrees on Saturday. I was reading last night that I should wear 2 pairs of socks and so I did. The idea with 2 pairs of socks on is that they absorb the friction, as opposed to one pair, where the sock and sneaker absorb the friction. I have to say it worked. No issues with my feet at all.

I also read that I should carry Tylenol with me as I ran. IDK if that helped or not. Maybe Advil or Motrin would have been better. I wore shorts since I had no pants with me, but I would never run in pants again. The air dries the legs and therefore no moisture is collecting like it would with pants.

I wore a long sleeve leotard type of running shirt to keep the wind off of me with a short sleeve tech shirt over it.

The marathon started on the boardwalk in front of Bally's and there were a few thousand people since it was also a half marathon. We didn't stay long on the boardwalk and exited almost immediately where we ran towards the harbor casino"s of Borgata, Golden Nugget, Harrah's. From there we ran back towards the boardwalk as we passed the Absecon Lighthouse.

So we were back on the boardwalk at mile 8. The boardwalk was not closed so there were tourists out doing there thing. We exited the boardwalk at mile 13 and it was actually more comfortable running on wood than pavement.

From there we ran to Longport and made our way back to Margate City where I think we spent too much time. I had a very good 20 miles at that point before I started to wear down at mile 21.

I had no pain and that was surprising since I had this leg issue all week, most likely from kickboxing. At mile 21 my groin and one thigh were just shot. No issue with my feet, back, nor lungs. The muscles in the legs just start to shutdown.

Lucy The Elephant had scaffolding up so that was a disappointment. We were back on the boardwalk at mile 23 and my leg muscles were done as the calves began to act up.

There was absolutely no entertainment so IDK what the organizers were talking about. I did make all my water and Gatorade stops and I utilized a gel every 3 miles but those things really don't sit well in the stomach after awhile.

People were cheering me on at about 100 yards from the finish line but I was so nauseous at that point. I crossed the line, grabbed some water and just layed down. All I needed was a pillow and I would have been good to go.

I went back to the hotel, showered, and took a nap. I then went out to dinner but my system is shutdown. I ate but it took forever to get the food down.

Yes I never want to run again. So marathon #3 is in the books. IDK. Maybe I should explore finding a woman and settle down, LOL. Enough of this running already.

Have a good night

[UrsaMajor]

I wonder if they have Guinness in Berlin. I already picked up my bib for Sunday. Apparently Bally's has a beach bar and that's where it was but I read online that this place was a hidden gem.

I am sure you could find a pint of used motor oil (Guinness) in Berlin if you wanted to but first, it would probably be either 300 or 500 ml - We don't do "pints" on the continent <snort>  and the second question is ... Why?  There are WAY too many good German beers to try first....

<ROFL - Let the Flame War over Beers begin!>

[Watcher]

LOL UrsaMajor,

Well my next beer should be in Germany. Today I was able to walk down the stairs. I put on a t shirt this morning and I was like, wow, this is why you run, lol. I think my abs have shown up again so now I have to lay off the sweets. Well it could be all in my head. IDK....it could be from the wind burn.

I was talking to my co worker yesterday and she was telling me I have to take advantage of this marathon running while I'm healthy. I was very good for 20 miles but then I got complacent for the final 6.

I noticed during my previous 2 marathons I had 3 rough miles and then I worked myself out of it. In this one I remained a flat line for the final 6. "Oh I just want to finish" or "I'm not going to win anyway" is mental weakness I was reading.

At mile 24 I was done listening to that "horrid" country music and I even stopped for a photo at mile 25. People cheering me on at that point we're so annoying with their finish strong advice and I had a few choice replies in my head.

My Garmin usually vibrates at every mile when I run and then I check the time. For the marathon it was not vibrating which was good because I wasn't obsessed over time. At mile 20 there was a road side clock and at that moment I knew I wouldn't reach my objective so that is when I began to drift mentally.

Oh and never send the alimony check prior to running a marathon. Just in case. 

So I have to look into some different training techniques for next year. The marathon is broken into 3 parts. 1st 10 miles/2nd 10 miles/last 10k. So I have to find a way to improve my 20 mile time while having something left for the final 10k.

Well I think I will start again in May and train thru August with Berlin being in September and New York in November. London could be October but I won't know until February. It's time to start focusing on these World Majors.

Thanks

[Watcher]

I think my marathon recovery period ended today. I went to the gym last Wednesday and Thursday and was all kinds of sore so I took it easy the past 3 days.

I can return to the gym this week and there is no need to do any running at the moment. I might have something scheduled in November.

I probably could have run the NYC Marathon but I made my choice last February and chose to defer it to 2022 never thinking that it would actually be run this year.

So we will continue to see what happens.

Have a good night.

[Watcher]

This morning I returned to the gym after 5 days of rest. We had a Nor'easter yesterday which fouled up my plans. Anyway it felt good having no aches and pains. I have some Metatarsalgia going on in the ball of my foot which has been here prior to running the marathon.

I think the culprit is the burpees, push ups, and planks. I haven't had this instructor in awhile and she commented on my tan. She asked me if I had been on vacation. Well I looked at her strangely because a tan is a byproduct of GAL activities.

Such strange creatures these non- LBS are, lol.

Later she mentioned that I actually seem to have grown taller. Well I know I have been stuck in LBS puberty for quite sometime, however it was the ankle socks, which accentuate the length of the legs, thus giving the illusion that one is actually taller.

There were only 3 people in class today so that meant one on one individual sessions. So the instructor holds the pads, on her hands, like giant gloves. She then gives out the combinations that are to be thrown. She swings back so you have to pay attention to the sequences or you are gonna get hit upside the head, and since I'm taller, that would mean decapitation.

It's like a dance as you are pretty close to each other and she kept telling me I should not be afraid to hit her, lol. Usually I have some beefy male holding the pads if it's a slow class.

Anyway, I must have been intimidated by her female-ness because I was moving my feet backwards and she kept yelling at me to stop running from her. So while I may have been intimidated it was also a turn on at the same time, lol.

Unlike most men who believe that all women are into them, I'm normal. I only believe 50% are into me.

So I survived my close combat encounter this morning with a female. Tomorrow it's a beefy male instructor so it won't be as exciting. I will call that one Debbie Downer Thursday.

Friday is "alledged" Man Hater Friday instructor where I usually leave with some new ailment because she likes to take it out on the men. Well I believe she really doesn't like women since I'm the only man in her class, lol.

Enjoy your day everyone

[UrsaMajor]

The Friday instructor is like Mikey in the Life Cereal commercial.....

"He won't eat it, he hates EVERYTHING!" 

except her motto is "She won't go easy, she hates EVERYONE!"

[Watcher]

Hi UrsaMajor,

Well I called my attorney's office to execute Order 66 and something is wrong with Commander Cody. The receptionist took my message after being a bit vague on Commander Cody's whereabouts. Afterwards she gave me the name of another clone trooper who will be contacting me. Unbelievable. I swear this sh!te worked for Darth Sidious.

This is only a 2 lawyer practice and this new name is not one of the partners so something has happened to my attorney. So new clone trooper eyes is maybe not a bad thing as I just need the motion filed against this criminal. Maybe this one will not be afraid of women. IDK....

We are now 7 months past the home sale deadline date and I really was in no rush to force the sale because I was enjoying time with my son's. However, she locked them down again so now she will pay. Oh I mean that with agape of course.

LOL that is so true about tomorrows class. This mornings class has already come and gone. This is a popular one so it's a bit more crowded. It's nice to get the workout out of the way first thing in the morning.

Then again it's also nice next week to go after work in the afternoon after sitting around all day. My 4 year gym anniversary will be in February and I am closing in on 700 classes. The pandemic really fouled me up. I should have hit 1,000 in February.

Enjoy your day

[UrsaMajor]

S14 and I joined a gym together mid-October and he seems pretty dedicated to 2x per week so far.... He wants to loose weight and get fit. Actually, I bribed him and said that if he gets from 25% to 18% Body Fat, I'd get hm the GoPro he's been after... whatever works... xW doesn't really seem to care because she feeds them instant noodles and such... She sees he's overweight but then says it's up to him to do something about it... ..... so we'll see tonight is gym night... No classes just cardio and weights...

[Treasur]

Glad to hear you have prodded the legal stormtroopers about the house sale, Watcher.
Not bc of your version of agape ha ha
But bc you deserve a life free of BS moves, a home of your own, even perhaps a smiley nice woman to hang out with in front of your own fire who can coo at your manly runner’s legs

[Dumbfounded]

Well, you seem to have manifested a new attorney Watcher. Wishing you good luck with your new barrister.

[Watcher]

Hi UrsaMajor, Treasur, Dumbfounded.

My coworker commented yesterday that I finally wasn't wearing shorts, lol. I start wearing shorts in April and I had to breakdown yesterday and wear jeans because it was cold and it's usually a bit more colder in NYC on a damp day.

This morning I had to wear jeans again as I got my manly on at Home Depot. You know I can pull off the Fall manly look, lol. I can already pull off the running manly look and gym manly look. However, I need new sneakers for kickboxing because my current pair does not match my outfits and therefore its diminishing my manly gym gains which probably is all in my head, hahaha.

Kickboxing sneakers get dirty and no self respecting runner would ever use their precious running shoes to kickbox. Oh my Brooks and Hoka One are on display as if they are sitting in a museum. So I will have to find some Asics that are colorful because my current grey pair of New Balance are not working.

I was reading that I probably developed the issue in the ball of my foot from poorly cushioned shoes and that pair had been around for awhile to use while kickboxing.

I haven't been to Home Depot in years and I was so lost. However, I think I was able to blend in and look the manly part which is a requirement at Home Depot. I don't believe I was identified as an LBS but one can never be too careful.

Oh I wear shorts all year long. I don't care if it's 5 degrees out. If I'm going to the gym then I'm wearing shorts.

Yes I'm looking forward to having my own house and I just wish this divorce process wasn't so long. The sale of the house, a potential CS issue and the pension division seem like it's all going to take years to resolve.

So I was walking around Home Depot ,all exaggerated btw, in my Fall attire manliness, hahaha. Although, I wasn't wearing boots. See that. Another shoe issue. Maybe my manliness is a bit sloppy at the moment as I transition to wearing more clothes. I have to check the condition of my boots since it's been awhile.

Yesterday I received my email code to re enter the Berlin Marathon for 2022. There will be no excuses next year. NYC Marathon is being run next weekend as I see the signage on the roadways. So I just have to wait a bit longer since I passed on both this year. Hopefully I win the London lottery in February to make it a trifecta next year.

S18 has his blood work appointment next Friday and I cannot believe that I have to breakdown and text him on Monday to remind him. Hopefully he will keep it since he only has November left for treatment and then he is done.

Enjoy your day
Thank you

[Treasur]

You ARE funny, Watcher. You made me giggle 
I’m almost imagining a whole Watcher Manly range of dolls now....what’s next?

[Watcher]

So yesterday I texted S18 to remind him about his upcoming 2 appointments. The dermatologist changed his appointment time and I knew he would not be able to attend since it conflicted with school.

He replied that he couldn't attend that time slot so I sent him their phone number and told him to reschedule his own appointment.

Today he texted me to let me know that he scheduled his new appointment and wanted to know if it worked for me. (His mother probably scheduled it for him).

I last heard from her on Sept 2nd and S18 on Oct 6th. She is blocked so I won't hear from her, however he responded to my text so she is probably thawing now.

His first appointment is on Friday but I haven't even made arrangements with him as I kept it short.

[UrsaMajor]

Well, IMHO that is a good sign (that S18 rescheduled the appointment) at least... Whether he or Mommy-Dearest did it is kind of irrelevant in reality as long as it is rescheduled... And the fact that he asked you if you could make that is also positive... Whether she is thawing or not doesn't matter a hill of beans as long as HE is able to communicate with you... and maybe even get out of the house again...

Now, if SHE would just get out of the house....

[Watcher]

Hi UrsaMajor,

I've been working this miserable overnight shift this week so I was able to prepare legal letters yesterday. Overnights are really for young people as it really disrupts one's patterns.

The other day I received the new mortgage statement and the monthly bill increased due to elevated real estate taxes. I think that lifetime alimony Governor bastard Phil Murphy is going to pull out a close win in NJ. How people could continue to vote for more social programs is beyond me. Oh I got sidetracked.  That Wall Street prick.

Anyway the mortgage is now more than her support allotment. You know , her lottery winnings. So she now owes me money each month. Well we know it doesn't work that way, LMAO. Little ol' her has to pay big ol' me. Yea good luck with that one in socialist New Jersey.

People really like paying more taxes in NJ. Oh yes and bring us some more huddled masses yearning for some more entitled freebies !

Ok, so I have outlined three issues for Darth No Balls and his emasculated law practice. 1) Filing a motion to sell the home. 2) petitioning the court to end child support. (oh I know, how dare a man). 3) demanding payment from the defendant for my now overpayment of support.

Meanwhile, I am looking for a female attorney to bring this home because ,we all know, some male lawyers have no balls and, most likely, a pair will be found in a female's purse.

Enjoy your day

[Watcher]

I look at all the contributors who have obstructed this divorce. Yes the Governor is a contributor. He closed the Courts and protected her. My attorney was also complicit in that obstruction for always refusing to file any motion against her. The end result was a 18 month divorce.

Now they have me on the hook paying alimony and child support. Meanwhile no one will help me bring this divorce process to a conclusion. I asked my attorney in May to file the motion to sell the house and he instructed me to talk to her first so we wouldn't appear to be bullies.

Yes I talked to her and then I gave up. December will be the 1 year anniversary of the divorce being final. That's 30 months since I filed for divorce and it's unbelievable that I still have this house.

It really is like fighting with both hands tied behind your back. I used to think she was dragging this out. However, no one will go after her so is she really dragging things out. I don't think so anymore.

She is non compliant but no one will make her comply. I have a lawyer who doesn't want anymore money apparently. He has fought me every step of the way.

He didn't get me divorced. He waited until she was ready to divorce me. That's how that went down. If she hadn't signed that MSA in Sept 2020 we would still be waiting for her decision.

That's exactly what is transpiring with this house. He is waiting for her to tap out again at my expense.

On Friday I'm informing the court that I have an attorney who refuses to enforce the MSA. This is really a strange situation where my attorney is more of an issue than her. Maybe he wants me to replace him and this is his endgame. Maybe he needs me to tap him out.

I really don't understand why this is so complicated. Is this the first xW in history being asked to sell the marital home ?

I have already been reviewing candidates for his replacement and will schedule appointments to see how they would handle this situation ?

I think there are different stages of LBS fog. It's hard to believe there was a 48 month chapter prior to this 30 month divorce chapter.

When I received that Court summons for child support in 2019 I immediately knew I had to file for divorce. The fog lifted.

When S18 balked on his driving test in September it lifted again and I instantaneously knew I had to sell this house immediately.

Now I just know the attorney needs to be replaced.

[UrsaMajor]

Now I just know the attorney needs to be replaced.

Agreed.... He is NOT representing you as his client at all.... He is (or was) just taking money for no services rendered....

His "Let's not be bullies" stance is actually enabling her... This should be viewed as nothing more than a business transaction... If it were any standard business case, there would have been penalties already applied... or a breach of contract suit filed..... You need to get out from under this...

I've been working this miserable overnight shift this week so I was able to prepare legal letters yesterday. Overnights are really for young people as it really disrupts one's patterns.

You are NOT kidding there.... It seems like every launch, I end up having to work my 12-hour shifts in the middle of the night and I am just shattered for about a week afterwards until I can reset my body to "normal" again...

[Watcher]

Hi UrsaMajor,

S18 is texting me today. It's incredibly odd when a text breaks the silence. I was immediately suspicious of his first text because it pertained to school. After a few more of his texts I'm beginning to think maybe he is just mature. Meanwhile they never have texted me in 6.5 years so maybe I don't know how to receive it like a normal parent would. The normal parent being a woman of course according to the law. Yes it's going to be one of those posts. Can there really be any other type of parent ? LOL....

Moving along, he is asking me questions about diabetes because he chose to do a presentation on it and he knows I have it. For me his college equals my enslavement so I'm really not into his school endeavor but I answered his questions.

For the record alimony also equals my enslavement until I am 62 yrs old. Yes try to argue that one with me. Let's see. Female removes the man from the home. Female keeps the home. Female keeps the kids. Female is awarded child support and alimony. I know, the truth hurts.

Oh and the male is a bad guy if he grows tired of the female's sh!te.

Yes it's going to be a long 4 years of college enslavement. Hopefully he will goto grad school so they can enslave me for an additional 2 years. Maybe by then our esteemed lifetime alimony Governor will enact legislation making divorced men financially responsible for grandkids.

Divorce laws are only designed to ensure that men keep paying. That's all. It's a punishment.

[Watcher]

This morning I picked up the child of the female and brought him to his lab work appointment. The child of the female seemed his normal self. Your typical just woke up teenager exposed to the morning cold 🥶.

The child of the female had class this morning so we did not go out afterwards to eat. While we were driving back to the female's residence I learned that the other child of the female was at home.

Therefore I stopped and brought both children of the female breakfast. I therefore performed my male duties of spending 💰💰💰 in accordance to the laws of society and their views on fatherhood and men in general.

So the child of the female has his next appointment in 10 days.

I was thinking how Standing is a form of denial. Divorce is reality. Welcome to the Hero Spouse "You Just Got Screwed", LOL.....So one can either continue to deny they have been screwed or face that screwed ness head on, lol.

Enjoy your day my fellow screwed people !

[KeepItTogether]

LOL. You always make me laugh. And on behalf of the un-broken females of the world, I thank you for being  the dad your kids deserve.  And a great example. Adulting is hard and there are rarely any kind of thanks in it.  There is good to come. I can feel it!

Happy weekend to you too!

[Watcher]

Hi KIT,

I realize any contact is really at my son's discretion. I was disappointed in September when he started to reverse course. I thought he had made so much progress in those 9 months and it was startling to see how easily he caved to her pressure.

I won't pursue the boys. I was shocked when S18 texted me yesterday and initially I did think she put him up to it because it involved a school project. I tried utilizing that 3 minute, 3 hour, 3 day rule but he wasn't giving me a chance, lol. I think he utlized the 30 second rule on me. It's been a month of silence and I had 30 seconds to answer his question, lol.

He does talk about his mom and maybe it's just normal for him. Oh mom this or mom that.....Maybe for him he simply has a mom and a dad. I don't ask any questions because I really don't want to know anything.

I noticed he was the one making jokes today. I think he was testing to see if I was mad since we haven't been seeing each other. Also, he is using my corny jokes so he is bridging the gap to when we last saw each other IMO.

Oh this is how we behave when they are drawing blood dad kind of thing. I noticed he did the same while ordering breakfast and reminscing how he messed up an order during the Summer. I messed up S21's order today so he was laughing about his prior misstep.

When I dropped him off I told him I would see him on the 15th and he reminded me the appointment was at a different office location. Again I am trying to leave the contact in his hands. After all someone ended going out and it wasn't me.

Maybe we are just going to do doctor appointments for the moment. Maybe there will be radio silence until the 15th. IDK....I'm trying to let him figure things out.

I was doing really good in October. I was getting back into my routines and I do think I can put things out of my mind. Out of sight out of mind unfortunately. I try my best to have a cold heart, lol, but man his text yesterday immediately struck my heart.

Yes I do love my son's and I enjoy being in their lives. So now I have to wait until the next time.

Have a good night

Thank you KIT

[Watcher]

Gym, Work, Sleep, Repeat. That pretty much sums up this week. One more day tomorrow and then my arms and shoulders can fall off on Saturday. Tomorrow is also class #700 finally. Man I got to 500 rather quickly and the last 200 have taken forever. I am so glad to see the 600's depart. They were my least favorite of the 100's.

I was calculating this morning and I only have 4,350 days left of the marriage reparations. There should be at least 2,500 gym classes in that timeframe I'm thinking.

On Sunday I have a 6 mile trail run which is advertised as being treacherous. The weather has been great the past few days but Sunday morning will be in the 40s. It's also going to rain on Friday so who knows what the course will look like.

This will be a slow run as it's a workout for the legs and it can be pretty taxing on the ankles depending on the rocks and tree roots. Not my favorite type of run but it does wonders on the thighs and calves.

Enjoy your day everyone

[Watcher]

I called this female attorney today and she informed me that my attorney has been severely ill. She found it funny that I found her since she has been picking up a lot of his work. She should know I found her because she is a female, lol.

So she is going to make a couple of phone calls since she doesn't want to step on any toes as she knows all the players. She will call the attorney whom I have been assigned and ask if he has an issue with her taking over.

She also knows xW attorney and is making a courtesy phone call to see if she has the buyout money and ,if not, then inform her that we are going to have to file a motion to force the sale.

She said something will have to be negotiated to make up for the 7+months delay. She suggested a reduction in alimony for example.

She already got back to me. So she already talked to xW attorney, asked her if she still represented xW, and informed her the house needs to be sold. She then left a message with my current firm and we will know next week if she will represent me or not.

I'm not necessarily looking to burn any bridges myself so I have no problem with her not wanting to step on any toes and waiting for my firm to reply.

I didn't even know my xW attorneys last name. I just gave her first name and last initial and she knew who I was talking about. She said the case will move forward now with either her or the attorney who I have been assigned. So we will see next week.

[forthetrees]

Progress towards a resolution- great way to start the weekend.

[Zion]

All that in one day!!! Boom!

[Watcher]

Hi FTT, Zion.

I was impressed with her and hopefully she will take me on as a client. If she doesn't then I don't believe I can remain with my current firm since they were just letting me twist in the wind.

I didn't want to throw too much at her yesterday since the house is really the issue at hand. I have a CS issue in March when our son turns 19 but it will have to wait at the moment.

I remember the mediator telling me in Feb 2020 how I saw all these things happening with xW but "you never filed anything" Watcher. So I thought being divorced would take care of everything on its own now however I still have to be the one who pursues each item to finalize.

Being divorced really brought no freedom. Sorry the pessimist wants to make an appearance. The house, the CS and the alimony keep me tied to her. When this lawyer said xW still had her attorney I thought to myself, oh great, she still has an instrument to keep me chained.

So the pessimist told me I just opened up a can of worms, lol. Yes I still operate under the cloud of suspicion that xW is always winning. She had that original CS case filed and had a court date within 5 days back in 2019. That's the life I'm not looking forward to. She likes revenge.

Regarding CS, xW has to prove there is a need for a continuation once our son turns 19. Yes I know he is taking online courses in college but she still has to prove it. So I guess I am the one who will have to ask the court to have her prove it come March.

Meanwhile how am I supposed to know if she ever remarries again to end alimony. I mean, there has to be a good MLC man or woman out there for her. Hmm, if I had a choice between her remarrying or exiting the tunnel and reconciling, I would choose her getting remarried and ending the alimony, lol.

So with all these crazy thoughts swirling in my head I said just focus on the house first. Anyway once this attorney finds out how powerful my xW is over the weekend I'm expecting her to withdraw, lol. Oh she sounded all enthusiastic but she doesn't know anything about xW yet.

Enjoy your day
Thank you

[Treasur]

I like the no nonsense sound of this woman who will hopefully be your new L. I suspect your xw will not find her ‘pitiful pearl’ tactics work as well with her.....

[Dumbfounded]

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I just got a form in the mail from the Court when D turned 19 and I just filled it out and returned it to the Court with a copy D’s college classes and the date of her expected college graduation and presto CS continued without a hiccup.

Routing for your new female attorney. This house thing needs to come to an end.

[Watcher]

Hi Treasur, Dumbfounded.

Today was the 6 mile trail run which is always more of a workout then a regular run. I have hiked this course twice so I knew what I was getting myself into.

It's a much slower pace as the running path is mostly single file, so there is a lot of stop and go, especially during the first mile. A lot of tree roots, leaves and hills to combat. There was also mud and water from the recent rains.

Along with the traditional water stations there were beer, whiskey and tequila shot stations at different locations in the forest. It looked like the volunteers were having a good time

It was cold at 45 degrees but I wore shorts since the body heats up anyway while running. I wore layers up top as I like to be warmer around my torso.

The hills were brutal and I felt every incline. Hills are supposed to improve one's running so you are encouraged to include them in your regime. I'm not a big fan.

My ankles are sore as they took a beating on this type of course and I was fortunate since I twisted them twice real badly. It's very easy to take the wrong step. The Fall colors were out and it was nice to see since I haven't done much hiking lately.

I had a fall at the 5.5 mile point so I was close to making it to the finish line without going down. I must have clipped a root and lost my balance as I was heading downhill at the time. I fell properly, I think, landing on the side of my thigh and then shoulder as my legs were in the air.

I was like a rocking chair and immediately swung back to my feet. Luckily the child support and alimony were not injured during the tumble and, if the custodial victim parent found out, I'm sure she would file a motion with the court to stop me from running and it would be granted, of course, since I am the non custodial paycheck.

So now I am off to bed to rest my sore body as running uphill is a great workout. I'm sure my thigh is a bit sore from the fall.

Tomorrow the custodial victims son has a doctor appointment and he didn't reply to my reminder today. As I already predicted we went 10 days of silence since his last appointment. So I may have to stop taking him to these appointments after tomorrow and leave it to the custodial to figure out with her son.

Have a good night
Thanks

[UrsaMajor]

Tomorrow the custodial victims son has a doctor appointment and he didn't reply to my reminder today. As I already predicted we went 10 days of silence since his last appointment. So I may have to stop taking him to these appointments after tomorrow and leave it to the custodial to figure out with her son.

Which, in reality, means that S will have to start allover again at Square 1 in the future because Mommy-Dearest isn't going to do diddly-squat to get him to the doctor.... That's a shame since he was, at least from what you said, starting to see some positive results....

[Watcher]

Hi UrsaMajor,

Well S18 texted me at midnight, which woke me up, and told me that his mom had just informed him that he had a dentist appointment at 10am. Meanwhile his dermatologist was at 11:40am so I told him to cancel the latter.

He texted me back and said his mom said he could goto both appointments. I told him that was logistically impossible. I do not arrive late for anything and I'm not going to stress myself while driving, especially since we had to go-to a different location today for his dermatologist.

Psychopaths arrive late. That's who arrives late. Not me !

I just wanted to go back to bed and not deal with her manic thought processes. This morning he texted me that his mom had canceled the dentist. She would have been the one taking him to the dentist

I picked him up this morning and he explained that he made his dermatologist appointment for today not knowing that she had already made a dentist appointment. Meanwhile it just shows that there is poor communication between them.

His face looked really good today so he appears to be continuing along on a nice path. We stopped for lunch on the way home and he took something back for his brother. He asked me if there were a law about picking up leaves.

I said, oh are you talking about your leaves which are spread all over the neighborhood. Those leaves belong to the community now, lol.

He said S21 has a heart issue and she took him to the hospital. Well these are the things that the sperm donor doesn't need to be informed about apparently. He says it's his weight issue.

We didn't talk much but he seemed more relaxed. I could tell last night he was beginning to stress when I told him to cancel the dermatologist as he hasn't had his medication in over a week now. Well at least that's taken care of for another month as he seems happy with the results.

I don't ask any questions about college. He said he had no school today. So I guess we wait now until the week of Dec 15th for his next appearance.

When I asked him where he wanted to go for lunch today he replied how it's been so long since he went out to eat. I thought to myself, well your the one who doesn't want to go out to eat.

No gym for me today as my ankles really took a beating yesterday. This guy at work has run that course 3 times and he felt it was more exhausting then running a marathon. So I will let my legs recover, as if, I had run a marathon and make up for the sleep that I missed.

Enjoy your day
Thanks

[UrsaMajor]

So, which came first, the chicken or the egg? The dentist or the Dermatologist?  My money is that the Dermo appointment was made first and she made the Dentist appointment later to put a monkey wrench into the works... She sure cancelled the appointment fast... Or, another possibility, there never WAS a dentist appointment... and it was all smoke and mirrors...  At least the Dermo meds are helping him. That is positive.

"Poor communication?"

Communicating with a Mid-Lifer is like hitting yourself in the head with a hammer - it feels SO good when you stop... 

S21 has a "heart problem?" That is another one that I would be VERY suspect about.... Overweight is a major contributor to many ailments (like you don't already know this) and they often "disappear" once the excess blubber comes off, especially in younger people if it is taken care of early... S18 has it right.... S21 has a weight problem that is manifesting itself as a "heart problem."

If I can make a suggestion - the next time S18 beats around the bush with comments like how it has been so long since he has gone out to eat


maybe a good response is simply "Well, you know how to get in touch with me to make that happen." Drop the ball squarely back into his court but do it actively - give him the onus/responsibility to get his needs met.... It is NOT your job to chance him all over Hades half-acre while avoiding your BSCx.  He DOES have a phone and obviously your number is not blocked if he can text you in the middle of the night...

I hit the gym last night too but without S14 who apparently has been having chronic ... <TMI - deleted> for 3 weeks so can't venture too far from the jakes... I spent about the same amount of time as when he goes with me but got more different machines in (weights) I'll probably regret it tonight or tomorrow

[Watcher]

Hi UrsaMajor,

Oh I always operate on the belief that its all lies. The dentist appointment was an attempt to cause a disruption. That's why I countered with telling him to cancel the dermatologist. I removed myself from her games.

Then I thought it was over and attempted to go back to dreamland when he sent me that "but mom says we can do both appointments" text. I could care less about what that rabid animal thinks especially since she had no interest in helping him with the dermatologist. He came to me and asked for help because she wouldn't help him.

Initially I turned my phone off and was like, firetruck this BS. Then I thought to myself, oh he is your son Watcher and she is probably giving him some cra-cra, so just respond and be polite. I could actually envision the cra-cra interrogation he was under and therefore I would not be able to fall asleep.

He was texting as soon as he entered my car as he was receiving his instructions. It had to be her. He always texts when he first enters my car. 

Well I was discussing what to buy S21 for lunch when this heart issue arose. So I did ask some questions just in case. S18 went into this tale about S21 eating healthier now and walking.

Then he mentioned that she is putting menthol on his chest. So I thought I did not hear that correctly. I said to myself, did he just say metal. Then I asked him again, and he replied again menthol.

Well once again I thought he must have said metal because he did say this was a heart issue after all. So I had to ask a third time to be sure because I was then going to have to ask what firetrucking type of metal contraption is this son, lol.

Well he said menthol again so I have to assume S21 has some congestion. Whew.

The dermatologist had canceled on S18 last week so we had to travel a bit more yesterday since she works from 2 different offices. I listened to him making his appointment for next month with the receptionist.

Now I really wanted to intercede and ask him to speak human and stop making grunts. Uh-huh, uh-huh is not a word. No matter how many times you say it. Nor is uh, um, eh, and yea is really questionable. After all he told me he was taking a public speaking course in college.

Well IDK how the receptionist understood him because he clearly received another appointment.  Maybe she had some Google translator behind the desk, IDK....

His big to do was he did not want to return to this particular office because it was too far from his house, lol. So he told the receptionist he preferred the closer office to his home.

As for the falling leaves maybe someone said something to her. Why else would he bring it up ? There is forsenthyia up by the chimney, lol. That sucker can really grow when left unattended. I always had to trim it in early Spring and then again in August because it can really take off.

One strand has fastened itself to the side of the house somehow and now it waves to all on a windy day. Well it will look nice in the Spring when it blooms yellow.

Enjoy your day

[UrsaMajor]

Wait a second!

Uhm, Uh-Huh, yea and "Whatever"  are full conversations in Teen-speak! 

You need that Teen-to-Adult translation service from Google <ROFL>

You are spot-on that Mommy-dearest was giving him a ration, especially with the "we can do both"  nonsense... You know as well as I do what would have happened there - the "dentist"  would have taken longer so you'd have to " arrange" a handoff somewhere ... You KNOW she just wants to oogle your legs or something....

So, menthol does NOT equate to a "heart problem" <one Drama-llama to go please).  You are likely right that it is more of an issue with chest congestion - Vicks VapoRub or Mentholatum.... My Grandfather swore by it... That is easy then in comparison....

At least S18 was clear (enough) about getting an appointment at the office closer to the domicile so that is good.... but i do have to wonder what kind of "public Speaking"  class happens in a virtual environment..... Hmmmmmm ......

Forsythia is beautiful but it is a killer when it comes to climbing pipes or things... It can, and will squash a drain pipe in a couple of years.... It is like that one plant in Harry Potter that would let you slip through if you finally relaxed... Otherwise, you were squished like a bug...

[Watcher]

LOL UrsaMajor,

He said his mom made him take that virtual public speaking course. Makes perfect sense now.

So the female attorney contacted me today after speaking with my current attorney. He said he was on the mend and would be returning soon but left it up to me. So I jumped ship as I haven't been happy with him for quite some time.

The fact that I reached out to this female attorney last Friday speaks for itself about my level of dissatisfaction.

I have to sign a retainer and I'm not too happy about always spending money on this divorce but I guess I would have had to spend it on his continued lackluster performance anyway.

Her first order of business is to determine whether this attorney still represents xW ,or if, xW is once again Pro Se. I have the feeling that xW is not represented and hasn't been for quite some time. That's why this has moved nowhere. Interesting to note how the Pro Se tidbit came about after she talked to my former attorney today.

Last December I found it incredibly odd when I read the QDRO letter that he had prepared. Now her attorney picked the company so you would think she would write the letter. Meanwhile these two attorneys fought over the companies selection. They actually went back to mediation over it

 Well he wrote the letter and the tone suggested he wrote it for both her and I which I did not like. So I never sent the money for the QDRO.

Then he severely mishandled the buyout when I contacted him last May by having me contact xW. Good riddance.

So I have to sign this new retainer and she informed me the motion itself cost $3500. She said the motion is a last ditch effort. The court will rule in my favor and we will still have to negotiate xW out of the house.

I know a guy in New York who filed this motion during the Summer for $5000 and now his xW just filed for a hardship. So it just never ends. I don't think they are going to physically throw her out of the house. It's just not going to happen that way.

So she is going to negotiate with her attorney or her ,I guess, as I have to be compensated for her still being in the house past the deadline. She wants me to think about what I want to gain.

I was thinking that I should look to protect my pension and 401k. The only other option is to knock a year off her alimony for each year she has remained in the house past the deadline.

Back in 2019 her attorney asked if she could remain in the home for 5 years until S18 graduated college in exchange for me keeping my pension which I thought was a low ball offer.

I told my former attorney to counter with taking 5 years off her alimony in exchange for the 5 years in the house offer. He replied no Judge would accept that offer and we never did counter. That's what I disliked about him.

This new attorney, at least, recognizes that I should be getting compensated for her delaying. As she said today, xW does not get to live in the house for free. She also added that this cannot go on forever as we need to get my name off of that house.

So I will think of a couple of offers. I hope she doesn't think I'm going to settle for lunch at Chik Fil-A. This better be a significant gain for myself. Alimony and my 401k are really the only 2 items I have to negotiate. The pensions are really a wash IMO since we each have one and they have to be split.

So I have to sign the retainer and she asked for a copy of the final decree to get started. IDK how this stuff works but it doesn't sound like this house is being sold anytime soon.

Now I'm off to the gym. Sometimes the sore muscles need to be combatted with more soreness. Anyway Kickboxing is great for stretching it out.

Enjoy your day
Thanks

[Watcher]

Eat, Gym, Sleep. I was wondering if I had gained weight recently however the instructor mentioned the other day that the obliques really start to stand out along with the abdominals when they are beginning to mature.

Well it's not like one can take off their shirt and inspect themselves because that would be narcissistic. However, the peek a boo strategy of lifting up your shirt to inspect oneself is perfectly normal.

No runs scheduled for this weekend. I have a 5k on Thanksgiving Day in the morning. It's getting colder so I'm spending more time in the gym instead of running outside. So I will still have occasional races to run but I'm not going back to everyday running until the Spring and the warmer temps.

I signed and dropped off the retainer on Wednesday. It's funny. When I first filed for divorce my attorney asked me what I wanted to get out of it. I replied, oh I just want to be a father. Now if this new attorney had asked me that same question I would have said, oh I just want her destroyed, naturally. Firetruck her after all.

This morning I was fantasizing while kickboxing how I will hand deliver her the final alimony check in 12 years, shirtless of course, while telling her to go firetruck herself, lol.

Tomorrow is a rest day and then back to the grind on Monday.

Enjoy your day everyone

[Watcher]

Yesterday I picked up my bib for the Thanksgiving 5K. Sometimes these shoe companies, like Racefaster and Road Runners, have the racing bib in their stores for pickup to encourage some purchasing by the runners. Racefaster has a really nice sneaker at $160 but I took a pass. I loved the orange, white and blue color combo.

I woke up this morning with sore shoulders because yesterday was a male instructor, therefore, we threw a lot of punches. Today was the Wednesday morning female instructor so I picked up some sore abs.

Today she wore a flesh colored cat suit which was an interesting choice I would say. Then she mentioned something about her first husband and that was a red flag. You know what they say about a woman with a first husband afterall.  Probably the same thing they say about a man who has a first wife, hahaha.

Then I went to work and this is the worse travel day of the year. I stopped for coffee and tragedy struck. The cashier gave me the senior discount. OMG. Today I uncovered the male MLC missing link. Senior discount ! Talk about a tale spin. This is how it all starts.

I was so tempted to lift my shirt and ask her if I had senior obliques, hahaha. Absolutely the worse cup of coffee that I ever had. We left work early and I got over myself during my 1.5 hour commute to travel 19 miles. This was actually the best day before Thanksgiving travel day ever. Last night was a real nightmare on the NJ Turnpike.

I was contemplating a double workout on Friday after that discount insult, lol.

It's cold but I will still run in shorts tomorrow since it will be less than 30 minutes. I work this weekend but I have a 12k on Sunday morning. I ran this course in July as a 4 miler. It's all hills so it will be a workout at 7.5 miles. I probably will wear shorts for that one also at 40 degrees

I have Luke Combs on both Monday and Tuesday in NYC at Madison Square Garden. I've never been to that venue before. That was originally scheduled for 2020.

Enjoy your day everyone

[Watcher]

Yesterday was the Thanksgiving Day 5K. The temps were 35 degrees with the sun out so I was still able to run in shorts. I was layered up top and that was probably a mistake as I was too hot since it's run at a quicker pace.

I think I'm too conditioned with running longer distances and it will take me time to adjust to these shorter runs. My first mile was fast but I was overheated quickly so I had to slow the pace a bit. It's probably better to always start the first mile slow and then increase the pace.

This morning I was already at Kickboxing as I was burning off 2 pieces of dessert. Unfortunately I think I may have had 4 pieces of dessert.  I think tomorrow will be a rest day since my hamstrings are incredibly tight. They are always tight. Not quite sure why.

I have a hilly 12K on Sunday so that will be a much slower start as I have to navigate the hills. Back in July I did run the then 4 mile course at a 5K pace and survived. IDK about 7.5 miles this time around.

Enjoy your day everyone

[KeepItTogether]

Omg Luke Combs is my absolute fav! He performed at half time for the Dallas game. And then the Raiders won. Great day all around for me.

Also, I believe the correct nomenclature is “starter wife or starter husband.”

Enjoy the concerts! I’m jealous.

[Watcher]

LOL KIT,

Yes, starter spouse, hahaha. Oh I can't wait to use that one. I did see Luke Combs at the halftime show and that was a pleasant surprise. The Cowboys losing also made for a great Thanksgiving.

This morning was my 12K and we had snow flurries and gray skies. So that means I had to wear tights so it was a butt day instead of legs I guess. This was my run club race. Thanksgiving's 5k was not.

Two weeks ago I was last running around in the woods during a club race when I came upon Tequila Bar, Beer Stand and Whiskey Table, lol.

This morning I picked up my bib at 830am along with my complimentary coconut rum chaser which pairs nice with coffee apparently. Well it was cold afterall with a mixture of flurries. I think I'm just going to stick to club runs from now on.

This race was all hills and more hills and it was run in farm country. Last July I ran this course for the first time as it was offered as a 4 miler. Well we didn't encounter "The Hill" during that foray. My Garmin says it was a 633 foot climb.

Now this was a 5K and 12K as the feint of heart were given an option to avoid "The Hill". Apparently runners are lunatics and the majority ran the 12K as conquering "The Hill" is some badge of honor. There had to be 8 hills overall so it was slow going as it takes it's toll on the lower back.

Usually my abs are not sore from running but I definitely feel them now. I had to go to work afterwards so the fun was short lived. Yes I'm looking forward to the concerts and 2 days of rest. I saw him at Wells Fargo Arena in Philadelphia back in 2019 and he put on an incredible show.

I don't think he has put out one clunker yet. I was still in my country infancy in 2019 so I will appreciate it more this time around.

Enjoy your day
Thanks

[Watcher]

I took the train into New York yesterday for the concert last night at Madison Square Garden. The train station and arena are connected so technically one doesn't have to go outside. The ride over from NJ is simply enough.

I was there a bit early so I went to eat beforehand. I sat in this section that they refer to as a bridge but it sort of resembles a halo and sits on top of the arena and the view was incredible. The first 2 acts were ok but nothing that was memorable. I knew 2 Ashley McBryde songs and I never heard of the opening act.

Luke Combs opened with "Cold As You" and closed with "Hurricane". Everything in between was great, even some of the songs I really don't like. I think it helps when the crowd sings along.

My favorite song of his is maybe "Forever After All". "Brand New Man" was a good one. Apparently no one likes MIL's as that was everyone's favorite line when he sang "When It Rains It Pours". Hmm, I thought it was just me.

The crowd was incredible and that also adds to the experience.

He really has hit after hit as his show just moves along nicely. Leaving NY can be a bit chaotic afterwards but I just went with the flow and boarded my train. This morning I woke up tired and then I went to work. I felt the effects of running on Sunday this morning.

I'm sitting in a different section for tonight's show but I'm sure the atmosphere will be just as good.

Enjoy your day everyone

[Thunder]

Watcher my favorite sing by him is Hurricane.
 
As not much of a country fan, I do like him....and Aldean.

Have fun tonight!   

[Watcher]

Hi Thunder,

The undercard was pretty bland for this concert and a bit rough. "Cold As You" is supposed to be a follow up to the "Hurricane" story line if you watch the videos.

I had a better seat on night #2 and the acoustics actually sounded better since I was lower I believe.

The MSG venue was nice and my next concert there will be in May with Eric Church. I do believe I prefer the Summer outdoor venues more. The songs were played in a different order for night #2 so it felt like a different concert experience.

I did follow up with four days of kickboxing as I just keep moving forward. Keep moving forward is the motto when attacking the bag, lol. Tomorrow I may have to run just to keep myself honest even though it's cold. I may need to run once a week just to get me to Spring.

I'm very fond of this new "Sweep The Leg" philosophy. I was reading this new phase comes after the agape phase has departed. IDK....Maybe the LBS should be advised to Sweep The Leg and lose the agape.

Well I look forward to the day when the leg is finally swept. No Mercy !

Enjoy your day everyone

[Watcher]

Today is Pearl Harbor Day. The MLCer has a lot in common with the Japanese from WW2. Neither one will ever apologize for the atrocities they committed. Sweep The 🦵!

So NY Road Runners instituted proof of vaccination for all of their running events moving forward and the unvaccinated runners are up in arms. I have to say one of the biggest turn offs for me running in Berlin this year was running with the unvaccinated.

The Berlin organizers had so many hoops to jump through just to get into the running expo. Meanwhile addition by subtraction is the best policy and hopefully the marathon organizations, at least, will adopt a vaccine mandate policy, along with the airlines and maybe even The Hero Spouse. 

The concerts that I attended last week required proof of vaccination. It was a simple process. Honestly some of these unvaccinated don't even want to make the effort to get a fake vaccine card. Come on already. No shots. No fake card. Where's the effort ?

I have 41 miles left to run to get to a nice round number of 600 miles for the year. Yes I really took it easy during the Summer. I think this year I'm going to try and adhere to an actual 16 week marathon training plan to see if it actually improves my marathon time.

On Friday I am supposed to take the custodial female victim's child to get his blood work. I really don't feel like reminding the custodial female victim's child that he has an appointment. I believe her child is still unvaccinated. So I wouldn't run with him. Just sayin.

Sweep The Leg everyone.

[Watcher]

This morning her son made me wait as he must have gotten up late. If his mother ever approaches my car then that will be the last time I pick him up for anything.

He did mention that he is finishing my first semester of indentured servitude next week. I absolutely have no interest in his online college pursuit.

There will be no Christmas this year because I had to pay for another retainer in order to get my equity from the home sale which is clearly written in the female's MSA. If you are a still married man on this forum, please be advised that the MSA does not apply to you because you are a b!tch, and you can wait for your equity !

The female victim receives her indentured servitude alimony allowance and child support and is still permitted to remain in the home if the sale does not benefit her. Therefore, the male must wait for his equity because he is a b!tch !

Divorce means nothing. The male is still stuck in the dead family. That's the truth about divorce.

I pray everyday that she is not really disordered and she is really MLC. Oh how I dream of the day to learn that she is really an MLCer. Oh how I will tear her a new one if she ever approaches me. Oh please be a ShockSis. (Disclaimer the term ShockSis is only being used as a name only)

This has nothing to do about the divorce BTW. This has everything to do about her delays. Well that's my Christmas wish. I want it to be ML firetrucking C ! Then I will display my firetrucking agape for sure.

So they were really behind schedule at her son's appointment. Not his fault as there was just one technician on duty.

He asked if we could goto a diner for breakfast but he would have been late for his class so we got take out for him and his brother instead. His next appointment will be on Wednesday.

So in conclusion newbies. Take it personal. Take every firetrucking minute personally. Lose the agape and Sweep The Leg !

Well try to enjoy your day everyone
LOL

[MadLuv]

Watcher- you must have an enormous amount of energy. You are go go go!!! That’s so good. A lot of angst and frustration is expelled through those activities. Yet your last journal I can feel the frustration. However, with some humor. Keep it up!! I really have to get more active like you. Have a good weekend!!

[Watcher]

Hi Tornup,

Well I would be surprised if the home was sold in 2022. She did not hire an attorney until 7 months after I filed so I would imagine the process will be dumbed down again since she is most likely Pro Se.

Now with a Pro Se adversary the attorney is more concerned with walking her through the process than representing me. Even when she did acquire an attorney, they were both more interested in walking the difficult party through the divorce process, and so, I should have axed my attorney sooner.

That is why if she has no attorney I see the home sale going nowhere. There is no reasoning with the disordered manipulative mind.

The home sale and the college child support are just tools to keep me ensnared. I'm sure at some point I will be dragged into court for a modification with the alimony. Divorce brings an illusionary freedom.

People used to tell me how I would be a caretaker if I remained married to her. Well how is divorce any different. So far it's not.

My mom always asks if S18 talks about college when I see him and my reply to her is we do not discuss child support. I will not bend on the subject. I think part of it has to do with the MSA fraud. Divorce is solely based on salary differences between the two parties. The lower salary is the beneficiary of the MSA.

The MSA does nothing for me. It just enforces what I have to pay. Meanwhile my adversary does not have to adhere to the MSA. So far we are 9 months past the home sale deadline. The MSA language clearly states the requirements for continued child support and my adversary has not provided any proof that S18 is actually in college, even though the MSA clearly states she has to.

According to the language of the MSA S18 has already forfeited his rights to my college financial assistance. Of course the language is meaningless.

The lawyers never want to see the inside of a court room and the MSA is a useless piece of paper for the higher wage earner and even a false sense of security for the lower wage earner.

Now S18 did have me wait 30 minutes for him the other morning and it was only an issue for me because his mom was home. I do not like being unnecessarily exposed to her.

He did seem more settled this time and that leads me to believe she is manipulatively thawing which I don't necessarily like. S18 told me he attempted to wake up S21 to join us and then he later mentioned if I could order food for S21 which I already had. He already knew he had to come home with food for the both of them since his mom was home.

That's why I always make sure I buy the both of them food anyway because I know her monster. S18 had also mentioned going out to a diner to eat but we didn't have the time. Again that suggests some manipulative thawing because we have done nothing for 3+ months.

Its very easy to differentiate between fear/intimidation and someone who is relaxed so I would say S18 was more relaxed like he was in early September.

So its the combination of both Christmas and her being contacted by my new attorney that could have her manipulatively spinning most likely.

Enjoy your day
Thank you

[MadLuv]

Wow watcher. That’s a lot. I can’t imagine. I did not have to deal with any of that. My XH did not hire an atty. I did the divorce and he signed. Done in 30 days with a 60 day wait period. He agreed to all my terms which was a lot and I would never have received in court and I am very thankful and realize very lucky on that, but again not a divorce after 30 years I wanted.

I hope things get wrapped up for you. It is just a lot of added stress. A friend of mine just got done with hers after 2 years. She got nothing. She was left homeless and got no alimony. So, it is all where you live and how agreeable the two parties can be if it can be done uncontested, as was mine.

Good luck, goodness. It gives me anxiety thinking about it. 😜

[Watcher]

S18 had to reschedule his dermatologist appointment to Friday. I have been killing my abs the past 2 nights at the gym. Meanwhile I was able to run 5 miles on Sunday and again today. 5 miles is my minimum run requirement or it's just not worth it. Sunday was a pants run but I was able to go with shorts today.

Someone canceled on the gym tonight and I will stay home now and rest my sore abs since I was just going to be social today as the class itself is pretty lousy on Wednesday night.

Anyway I am awaiting the arrival of my new Brooks Aurora BL sneakers. Ghost 14 was a disappointment and I still prefer to run in my Ghost 13's. So I will take a chance on the Aurora now.

Enjoy your day everyone

[Watcher]

This morning I stopped for coffee and I texted S18 that I was 5 minutes away. That was a hint. Then when I arrived in front of the house I let him know that I was there and he replied, ok, I'll start getting dressed.  Luckily his mother was not home or I would have left him.

Today we concluded month #7 of his dermatologist journey and his face is clear after 5 months of treatment. So he is no longer on the medication since it is capped at 5 months. He has another round of appointments scheduled for January as his blood still needs to be tested and his progress will continue to be evaluated over the next 3 months.

Apparently he keeps mentioning scarring concerns to the dermatologist and she says he will have to wait until the 3 month evaluation concludes but she doesn't think there will be any further issues for him.

His face is extremely dry so we stopped to pick up lotion for him since there is none at home. We also picked up lunch for him and his brother to take home.

He said S21 has been sick and has lost weight as their mom had the both of them to the general practitioner. He first said 40lbs and when I replied, what , he then said maybe 30lbs. I asked him if S21 had any surgery. Remember his mother mentioned gastric bypass to me last July. He said no. Allegedly S21 had an issue with his stomach.

I asked him does it look like he lost weight and he said not really. So maybe S18 misunderstood the doctor during their visit. S18 has eczema on his hands but he still has the lotion for that issue. He said S21 has been walking the dog.

So I guess I will wait til January now. S18 seemed to be his normal self and I think this is all it's going to be. He mentioned he was done with his semester. I am not chasing anyone so if he and his brother want something more then they will have to open their mouths.

I took the Brooks Aurora out for a 2.5 mile run. Lack of sleep and a full stomach did not make for a good combination today so I wrapped it up early. I work this weekend so I will shut the exercise down for 2 days and rest.

Enjoy your day everyone

[Watcher]

My co worker was telling me about this parallel divorce case where the man cannot get the xW to sell the home which I have been following for years. He filed the partition action and his lawyer advised him that the court will not act on it, lol.

Fortunately for him he stopped paying the mortgage at BD and now the bank is about to take the home which is a blessing IMO as that is his only way to freedom from a Family Court system that is designed to protect the female victim, in both our cases, and enslave the man for life, while doing what is in the best interest of the female's child.

In both of our cases the xW's are a financial train wreck and neither will benefit from the home sale, therefore, the divorced husband is placed in shackles until both women are financially stable in 10-25 years.

Alimony ✓, child support ✓, female remains in the home ✓, deny the man his share of equity ✓✓✓✓✓.

Oh I'm only remaining on this forum to expose the truth about divorce. Oh you think my xW is the only one do you, LMAO....

So I think I'm going to advise my attorney that I am no longer interested in paying the mortgage and I will send the lottery winner her winnings via check and she can pay it herself. Hopefully, she will not pay the mortgage and thus it will go into foreclosure since this is my only way out.

I do laugh when I read about men receiving divorce advice on the forum. There are 2 different play books and one does not apply to men.

I look forward to a lifetime of payback. Oh please don't feed me this crap about living a better life, lol. Payback will be much more satisfying.

Meanwhile, you mean to tell me that there are some people who actually got married a 2nd time, hahahaha.....

So in conclusion, always remember, you're screwed, you're screwed, you over there are screwed, and everyone here today is going home screwed.

I think I am just going to withdraw from everyone until I am emancipated.

[MadLuv]

Watcher, I am so sorry. I don’t agree with you, but I am so sorry. I just had a friend married for 28 years. Her husband left her MLC style. Emptied the bank account and burned down there home rather than leave her in it. Cheated multiple times. He failed to follow court request to turn over documents. The divorce cost her the last $15,000 she had. He settlement she got? Nothing. Not one thing! Texas is a non alimony state.

I was very fortunate after 30 years. Sacrificing my own career to help my husband move up in the company we both worked for. I trained him. Moved to 3 states with 3 kids to advance our careers and life. I was fortunate when he walked out he agreed to what I thought was fair. He is fine. Has plenty of money. Spending more money on the OW than he ever did on me.

It does go both ways. Men and Women alike lose in divorce. Emotionally and financially. Some worse than others for sure. You are one of the unlucky ones and that can be brutal. I am so sorry. I hope something changes in your situation. I can feel the devastation and anger. No one deserves to go through this and specially when it hurts them in their heart and pocket and mind.

[OffRoad]

It's interesting, Watcher. You definitely got a crappy deal and live in a bad state for a divorce, I agree. I am the LBS and I am a woman. I receive no alimony, despite having put my entire career on hold for 15 years to raise and help educate two children with Dyslexia and Dysgraphia (don't let anyone tell you the "invisible" "learning" differing abilities are some kind of picnic, they are not). I had to buy out/trade out his share of the house. I had to fight to get him to sign over the house even AFTER I had bought out his share. He probably still would not have done so if he hadn't wanted to purchase another house and needed to be off the loan. I had to find some kind of employment to support myself and my son at home, and help get my D through college because I got ZERO child support, either (he might owe it, but that doesn't mean he paid it). It ain't all roses for the woman, dude.

The "truth" about divorce simply depends on your (generic your) situation, where you lived, which side of the money you sat on, which side of the money you now sit on, how important it is to get yourself separated from the mess and whether it can be done.

One person I know "bought out" the alimony, by giving a lesser lump sum all at once. The ex wife took it (spent it and whined, but not his problem anymore). Have you looked into the possibility of buying out her spousal support with part (or all) of the house profits? It might be worth your while to get completely separated from her.

[Watcher]

That's interesting. Someone offline also did not see it from my point of view either. Maybe I'm not permitted to have a point of view. I have adhered to the MSA for 1 year now while my xW has not. I don't believe it necessarily has to do with my states divorce laws.

This has more to do with a woman who is being protected by family court, my former attorney, her occasional attorney, and my current attorney because she refuses to get an attorney.

So if you think it's fair that I'm paying support while being denied my home equity then I'm not going to argue it.

So I will keep my lips zipped from now on about my situation and no longer share it offline either since it's such a sensitive subject. I will report back on my divorce situation when and if the home is ever sold years from now.

So I will know my Hero Spouse place and talk about sneakers, running and such like a good boy.

Thank you

[Dumbfounded]

What do you mean the Court will not act on a partition action? What kind of dumb a$$ person told you that? I file them all the time - the Court most definitely acts. Besides you don’t file a partition action in a family matter - you file a Motion to enforce the sale of the marital residence and you ask for attorneys fees.  Why would you want to ruin your credit by throwing the house in foreclosure? You are shooting yourself in the foot. That logic makes no sense.

There are no winners in divorce. If you are not engaged in the Court process, you simply have no footing to complain about it.  File your Motion to enforce the MSA and be done with it.

[Watcher]

Hi Dumbfounded,

The partition action was from an example of someone I know getting divorced in New York. Yes in my case I have to file a motion to compel the sale of the home.

The demeanor of my current attorney changed when she spoke with my former attorney. She said I could file the motion and I would win. However, xW would still have to be negotiated out of the house.

So I signed her retainer which is probably 4-5 hours and she said that should be enough to handle the negotiation. Meanwhile I'm not going beyond her retainer if she cannot settle the issue.

She was all gung ho about me getting my equity until the Pro Se question popped up. Initially xW attorney claimed she still represented xW. Then my attorney talked with my former attorney. Then the narrative became, oh I have to see if she is still represented or Pro Se.

I don't believe xW is represented. She uses an attorney in spots. She hired her at the Early Settlement Panel Hearing in Jan 2020 and I did see her physically at the Mediation in Feb 2020.

Then all I heard after the Mediation was I can't get into contact with her attorney. They supposedly went back to Mediation to argue about the QDRO company in July 2020. The MSA was finally signed Sept 2020.

Then I saw the letter to the QDRO company drafted by my attorney in Dec 2020. Now her attorney picked the company. That is why they headed back to mediation. So why didn't her attorney draft the letter.

My attorney wrote it for both xW and myself which I found odd. It came across like he represented the both of us so I never sent the QDRO deposit. There is no rush on it anyway and so it will have to wait until the home is sold.

Then in May 2021 my attorney had me contact xW to get the house sold and having contact with her is impossible so she has been blocked since Sept 2021.

I haven't seen a single invoice so I know it's not being worked on. Maybe she is waiting for after the new year since I signed the retainer in late November. IDK why being Pro Se scares them so much but I highly doubt the negotiation will go anywhere with her.

It's almost like they do not know what to do. In most cases the man usually leaves the home and the wife files to protect herself, the home and the kids. Well that's not what happened here. The wife left the marriage but she kept the home and kids and refuses to protect herself.

[OffRoad]

You can keep your lips zipped or not, your choice.  It's not always the man that gets screwed, even if you don't want to see it or it doesn't fit your narrative.

It is interesting to me that what I assumed to be the divorce laws in your state left you with a much different situation that the divorce laws left me in my state. That is what I find interesting and I mean that as INTERESTING, absorbing, worthy of finding out more information. I certainly didn't get to have any man pay me alimony for years or even pay his part of child support, nor did I say anything about you should be paying support while being denied home equity. I have no idea why you don't have your equity or why your house has not been forced sold, as it would have been in my state. Yes, it would require effort for someone in my state to force the sale, but that is what you do if you want your equity.  I have no idea why you got so sarcastic.

[Treasur]

Mourning Dove sometimes refers to a quote that means a lot to her onn a card she found in unusual circumstances, “the problem is not the problem, but your attitude to the problem”. I think you may have hit this point, Watcher.

When the better angels of your nature are running the show, I see a funny, quirky, disciplined guy, a fit handsome guy, a guy who has an unquenchable interest in history and the detail of things that other people don’t appreciate, a guy that likes nature around him, a guy with a soft heart and a smart head. When they are not, I see a man full of rage and bile, a man who feels like the world is out to get him, who spits out sarcastic childish bitterness who sees himself as a victim. You are so much better than this man. Your life will be better if you can limit the floorspace this version of Watcher gets imho.

I do not want to deny for a moment any of the hell that you have been through. Whatever else your xw was/is, she was a toxic force hard to live with for you and your sons. For years. There was a lot of drama and damage and loss from that. We get it. You really are singing to the choir here....it isn’t the F’ed Over Olympics, but if it were you are not the only medal contender.

But it’s done, most of it is in the past now, Watcher. All bar the last bits of tidying up.
And now it’s time to figure out what you want to build from here on with what you have.
You deserve a life which isn’t lived in the shade of what happened forever. You deserve a life which is not full of rage and helplessness. You deserve a life where your xw is not an unseen persecutor and you a unheard resentful victim.

My Christmas wish to you is to hear that I value you and am concerned about where you are letting your attitude to the problem take you. That you deal with the problems as you see them, but that you also do whatever it is you need to do to reframe your attitude towards these problems. And towards yourself and towards your sons.

I wish you nothing but handsome calves, perfect running shoes, hikes in forests with deer and historic landmarks, and a sense of peace for the next chapter of your life. Bc it may not feel like it but a lot of us here value and respect you a great deal so we want more for you than how you are talking right now.
Merry Christmas, Watcher.

[readytofixmyselffirst]

Hello,

I have adhered to the MSA for 1 year now while my xW has not.

This is the crux of your issue, not the courts or male/female. It's like playing Monopoly with someone who keeps taking money from the bank. If you know she is going to cheat, then why do you insist in playing by the rules? You have got to start fighting fire with fire. During my divorce, I called the police on her. They didn't arrest her, and I didn't insist on pressing charges. However, her tone changed and she treated me a little different. She even told me, "I think you set me up." I replied, "If you throw anything, hit, or attempt to strike me, I will call the police and they will arrest you." That stopped all of her tantrums.

I've asked you before and I will ask you again. Why not move back into the house? If the court asks, you want to be in the home so you can start renovations and oversee the work you may have to contract out.  It's still your house too. Yes, she is cra cra. When are you going to start being a little cra cra yourself? Start poking the bear. Call a real estate company and put a for sale sign on the property. Serve her with an eviction notice. How is she going to fight it now? Demand to inspect the property and claim all the damages she has done should be paid out of her equity. Stop waiting on the courts, start doing things to force the sale now- especially how hot the market is going now. There are companies that will pay cash for your place and do the eviction themselves.

In my case, I bought my ex out of her equity in the home. She also got 1/3 of my 403b, and nine and a quarter years of credit of my pension. I paid alimony for five years and child support for four years. I never missed a payment. However, I kept the home and there was a timeline on how long I would have to pay. It sucked, but I survived and now I am doing well and I guess that is the best one can do?

My point is that you are in a battle with your wife. Stop being the watcher and start being the fighter. One big advantage you have over her is that you are a marathon runner. You have the tenacity and perseverance that she lacks. You turn up the heat and are consistent over the long haul, you will break her.

And you know that, and I hope you have a great Christmas,

((((Ready))))

[Watcher]

Today I picked up my bib for this 10k race on Saturday. It was nice as only vaccinated people are allowed to run however IDK if that's really going to prevent anything from happening at this point.

I either had the flu or Omicron prior to Christmas with 3 nights of fever accompanied by a sore throat.

The only oddity that I have noticed since I received the booster is leaving the gym drenched everyday. That usually only happens when I run but it's now an everyday occurrence in the gym and it's not like I'm working out any harder.

The cold weather finally arrived this week so now I have to get through the miserable months of January and February until the Spring Awakening.

[FaithWalker]

Good luck at the race Watcher.

I detest January and February.  It's usually such a grey level of suck.  I'm also looking forward to Spring's awakening, but I do hope that if it's going to be nasty, we get the snow that we need in order to have the beautiful lakes and rivers full and less or no forest fires.

[Watcher]

Hi FaithWalker,

I am getting my first snowfall tomorrow. It should only be 2-4 inches or so the meteorologist claims. Saturday will be 22 degrees for an 8am run start. IDK if I necessarily like running in the cold anymore. This one is in NYC Central Park and I ran this course in 2020. So it should be a scenic run with the fresh snow but probably icy conditions on the path.

It's dark and cold every morning. I'm usually out at 530am for work or the gym depending on my schedule. The mornings are rough. I've noticed the sun is staying out a little longer each passing day now in the evening so that is a positive.

This is the start of year 5 for both kickboxing and running. So the goal this year is to prepare everyday for the major marathons in the Fall. I will target 1,000 miles this year and a half marathon each month.

Before you know it August will appear and then I will complain about the oppressive humidity.

Thanks

[FaithWalker]

Great goals for this year Watcher.  I can't believe it's already year 5 for the kickboxing and running.  Where does the time go?   

[Watcher]

A brutal 19 degrees this morning with blustery 13 mph winds. I dressed for warmth. Two pairs of socks, two pairs of gloves and 3 layers up top. Usually I only wear two layers but I opted for a hoodie over my running fleece today.

Everyone was required to wear a mask and show proof of vaccination. Honestly the mask really works during the Winter as it shields the face from the cold and wind. They announced 5,000 runners for today and it was last run in Jan 2020 so this is now my 2nd time running this one.

It's called the Joe Kleinerman 10k. Apparently women were only allowed to run 1.5 miles in organized racing up to 1967. That is just crazy to think about. Anyway this man was part of a group of runners who helped end the restrictions placed on female runners in 1967.

Allegedly the first cases of MLC were then reported in 1968. 

So we had to wear our mask while waiting and the start was staggered to allow for more space. My toes were frozen and I did not feel them until mile 2. I had a winter hat and wore the hood over it so I removed the hood at about mile 1. I removed one pair of gloves at mile 2 and the second pair at mile 3. I also probably took my mask off between miles 2-3. So that's my heat zone.

I probably wanted to take my Winter hat off but left it on. The wind started picking up around the 4.5 mile mark and I looked forward to the conclusion. This course is all hills so it's a workout. I felt it in my lower back. That's the usual indicator that one is running hills. The lower back is barking.

The water at the aid stations was frozen on top. Like an undone ice cube in the freezer. When we crossed the finish line the masks had to go back on. I took mine out and it was frozen stiff like laundry sitting on the line outside. Oh remember how our parents hung laundry outside.

I have a half marathon over the same course in a few weeks so hopefully the temps will be better. I can confirm that it's definitely January.

[rosetintedglasses]

Hey Watcher,

I’ve not read up recently and came in and read this last page. Not sure whether to read backwards or just send you a hug..

I’ll send you a hug for now and decide whether to catch up afterwards. I’ve read Treasur’s comment so that could be enough.

I know - I’ll say ‘hurt people, hurt people’ and send you a hug. Sending love to NYC today too.

Rose 🌹

[Watcher]

Hi Rose,

I took S18 today for his lab work. Now our last contact was Dec 17th and he did not respond to my text last week regarding the reminder of his appointment. So I did not know he was going to his appointment until this morning.

I have to go-to the marital home and he makes me wait as his mother's car sits in the driveway. She even decorated for Christmas and I shouldn't have to see it. Now if I whine about going to the marital home then I will be hit with some projection so I will digress with my whining.

So S18 mentioned the date his new semester starts and he now needs to get vaccinated. I really do not care about college at all. I paid for high school and the MSA is a sore point for me.

We were in and out with the appointment. Now it was strange when he took off his coat and he didn't know what to do with it. He wanted to ask me to hold it but he didn't. I therefore had to ask him if he wanted me to hold it while he fumbled around.

I do not like rebuilding trust or whatever BS one wants to call it. He should already know how I am. I shouldn't have to keep proving myself.

He mentioned his mom once but I really do not want to hear stories about her anymore. I didn't say anything to him. I just listened.

My family had gifts for the boys which I was against since it just continues to make me look like a doormat.

The home sale, Rose, is dead in the water. I am on my 2nd attorney and this is moving nowhere but apparently that's my fault, lol.

So I brought the boys their usual breakfast and dropped S18 back home. Maybe 2 hours tops.

So I think this is a complete waste of time. I'm just taking him to doctor appointments. The next one is January 19th. Meanwhile I have not heard a word from S21 since September.

S18 seems normal. He doesn't display any attitude with me. Maybe my relationship with the boys is also just dead in the water. She is pulling their strings and the situation is just never going to change.

Meanwhile I am anti-agape and I will show everyone that divorce is just not a piece of paper. 

Have a good night

Thanks Rose

[rosetintedglasses]

Watcher, you shouldn’t have to keep proving yourself. You’re right. This is super unfair on you. I would give anything for my children to have as good a father as you, hope you can keep your head up.

There seems to be a real lack of decent men around. I’m not a man basher at all I am very fair, I hope, but that’s what it feels like so keep going. The world needs decent men like you. Your boys need you. They really do. I hate that this is what is been like for you. It’s horrid.

I’ve still not read back but I plan to.  I imagine you feel like no-one is on your side, seeing your full struggle, no- one is fighting this with you if you have family presents you don’t agree with, a new lawyer, your son not handing you his jacket, your other son quiet for months and even getting hits on here, in your thread. It must be exhausting and if you are screaming from the top of your lungs I can understand it.

Well done on listening about S18’s Mom story. This is a super tough stuff.

Sometimes do you just want to be looked after for a bit? I feel like that. It’s tiring living through this.

Look back for a while at just how far you have come, it’s so far.

Sending a care package just for you, with love.
Rose 🌹

[Watcher]

Hi Rose.

So her attorney is requesting an additional 6 months living in the home as it will give xW more time to clean up her credit and be able to buy me out. IMO they are just stalling for time.

It's called kicking the ball down the field and addressing it later. An additional 6 months will bring us to July and that will be 16 months past the buyout deadline at that point.

Meanwhile no compensation has been discussed. My current attorney knows my former attorney. xW attorney knows my former attorney. IMO all 3 of them are/were working together to ensure that xW lands safely.

It's been cold this January. It was 19 degrees when I ran that 10k. I looked up my results from 2020 for that same race and it was 48 degrees which makes a world of a difference.

This Sunday I have a half marathon and the temps will be mid 20's. January and February are such long months. These are definitely every day in the gym months until the weather improves.

I will take S18 to his next appointment on Wednesday.

Enjoy your day

Thanks again

[forthetrees]

Wow, I hope you can deny the request. I guess I´d only consider it if she paid you for all the months that went beyond the sale date and paid for homeowners insurance AND one of those home warranty policies for anything that breaks. Since you know that she will not/cannot get it together to qualify, please don´t lose the spring sale window which is your best bet for unloading the albatross. To ask you to miss the spring sales season is beyond cheeky.

[UrsaMajor]

Wow, I hope you can deny the request. I guess I´d only consider it if she paid you for all the months that went beyond the sale date and paid for homeowners insurance AND one of those home warranty policies for anything that breaks. Since you know that she will not/cannot get it together to qualify, please don´t lose the spring sale window which is your best bet for unloading the albatross. To ask you to miss the spring sales season is beyond cheeky.

FTT is right... They can ask but you also have the right to say "No" &/or to demand compensation for the delay.

You do not need to just sit back and let things happen to you. You can choose to take an active role and stand up for yourself/your rights/the MSA and what was agreed on.  As you noted, this is just more of the same and, since this is a civil matter and not criminal, unless one of the parties raises up a stink, the courts are more than happy to let things keep on piddling along because then they have no extra work.

[Reinventing]

Agree with URSA. Also, six months is not long enough to "clean up credit" for a bank regarding a mortgage. They look at records longer than that.

It's a ruse and delaying is an attempted legal tactic with which you are all too familiar.

[Treasur]

So what are you going to do, Watcher?

[Watcher]

Hi Treasur, Reinventing, UrsaMajor, FTT.

Well that's what I was thinking. If she doesn't have the credit score to secure a refinance today then she will not have it in 6 months come July.

I have to be compensated for every month past the March 2021 deadline. Previously my attorney has said this will come from her alimony and it will be reduced.

If I had divorced her immediately at BD then I would have already been through 6 years of alimony. I really got no credit for paying any bills until we were officially divorced. I should have filed sooner.

In hindsight, get a divorce and start paying the CS and alimony immediately. I ended up paying for school tuition, the mortgage, the orthodontist, etc while she skated.

We were legally married 21 years and she received 13 years alimony in a state with lifetime alimony so I think I did alright I guess, lol. At least the court recognized the 2015 BD and spared me the lifetime alimony. So it was good she called the cops on me for establishing the paper trail.

We are playing email tag at the moment so I haven't actually spoken to my attorney today.

Yes the other night I was actually worried about the furnace breaking in this cold weather. Like who is responsible for the replacement. That's why the house needs to be sold. I need my name off the deed and mortgage.

So we will see.

Enjoy your day
Thanks

[Watcher]

So S18 is beginning his second online college semester. He wanted to take a course that was scheduled to be on campus however his mother told him that she would be unable to take him to school.

I assume he took 15 credits last semester and is taking 12 credits this semester. I said he should take the missing course during the Summer. He replied that he would take a semester of only 3 credits, lol.

Oh I hope he does just so I can continue to expose how the MSA is strictly designed to protect the custodial parent. This is all about exposing the corrupt family court system and the unenforceable laws in the State of New Jersey at this point, lol.

Maybe one day non custodial parents will also have their own MSA.

There was a giant hawk sitting outside their home yesterday and oh how I wish it will swoop in and show her some agape.

He came out of his dermatology appointment yesterday and told me that he begins scar treatment in 2 months. So I said, who asked for this treatment (he did) and I asked what does it entail, what is the timeline, and how much does it cost ? Oh he asked no questions of course.

I was surprised because the dermatologist was pretty thorough explaining the initial treatment program which has now concluded.

His mother went shopping for the boys with the gift cards they received as presents. Now this is a twofold issue. She is an odd bird and S18 also doesn't like leaving the home because of those video games. Does it even matter that they now have new clothes ? They don't leave the house. College is online.

So I did the usual and brought them lunch after his appointment before I went to work. Now the goodbye was awkward. There are no more lab work appointments and the dermatologist has concluded for the moment. So see ya in 10 years I guess.

[Watcher]

Today was half marathon #26 in NYC. We had 25 degree temps for an 8am start so it was slightly better than 2 weeks ago for that 10k. Unlike two weeks ago there was no wind today so that was a huge plus.

To combat the cold I went with 2 compression shirts, a running fleece and a cotton hoodie. I wore 2 pairs of socks and 2 pairs of running pants along with 2 pairs of gloves, lol.

The gloves were off within the 1st mile for good as was my mask and running baclava neck/face mask. I forget what they call those things.

The double compression shirts worked fine however everything did soak it's way through to the hoodie eventually. I would even say the double running pants worked fine. Maybe the hoodie was a bit much.

So the first concern was to stave off the cold. Then I worried about heat exhaustion and by the end I was worried about hypothermia. My clothes just get too wet especially up top.

This course is all hills. I was discouraged throughout the race however I came to the conclusion that this is really a trail/mountain type of race.

I ran this race in 2020 for the first time with the temps at 40 degrees. I checked my stats and noticed my pace was much better and I burned 1600+ calories. Today the temps were 25 degrees. My pace was slower however I burned 3,000 calories because my body was working much harder.

I think 40-59 degrees is probably the optimal temps for running. I felt it in my hamstrings throughout the run and was glad when it was over. I haven't been able to run much in this weather so maybe I also don't have the running legs at the moment eventhough I go to the gym 5-6 days a week.

I've been living at Kickboxing during January just trying to push through this cold month.

I was knocked out and sore after I got home and I haven't felt that way in awhile as I must have grown too accustomed to running on flat terrain.

Hopefully we will get some temps in the 40's soon so I can get out more.

Have a good night

[Watcher]

Snowmageddon is on its way for Saturday. ❄️🌨️ The European model says up to a foot of snow while the American model says 1-3 inches. Both models say you're going to get yours Massachusetts, lol.

Monday I went to Kickboxing to beat up on my soreness after the half marathon on Sunday. It's always important to stretch afterwards especially targeting the impact areas of the hamstrings, calves and thighs. That was a sore workout and I took off yesterday.

Today I was back at Kickboxing and the leg muscles are still sore but much better than Monday. It's those hills.

So last week my attorney got back to me after I had asked earlier in the week what was being proposed by the enemy. I haven't heard anything since.

When I retained this new attorney she told me we had to negotiate. No matter what I wanted to do the negotiation still had to come first. Well at least there is a paper trail I guess because my former attorney was not moving on this home sale at all.

I think getting this new attorney forced her attorney to respond and now they will both play a match of tennis. So it's the enemies turn to volley I guess and let us know what is being proposed.

I am thinking that my attorney doesn't want me to look like a bad guy. IDK....It seems like I have to demonstrate to the court that I'm not throwing her out. Again IDK....Hey, Watcher cooperated and gave her x amount of time and he wasn't being unreasonable, lol.

I'm looking forward to the warmer weather as I prepare for these World Major Marathons in the Fall. The London Marathon lottery winners are being announced sometime in February so I hope to add that one to my plans.

Have a good night

[Watcher]

This morning was a 3 mile run with the flurries falling. These flurries have no relation to Snowmageddon which is arriving tomorrow along the Northeast.

As a side bar, the Northeast LBS spends so much time researching MLC and instead maybe we should examine why we choose to live in the Northeast.

I have Kickboxing later so a 3 mile trot was enough for this morning. Plus I really didn't want to heat up too much. Today I ran in my Hoka One Challenger ATR shoe which is a trail sneaker however there was snow on the ground so it worked out.

It was 32 degrees so I wore only 1 compression shirt, thermal fleece and thermal hoodie.

I'm thinking my running pace is slower because I am 40-50 lbs heavier from when I first started in 2018. I was really emaciated at 176 lbs when I joined Kickboxing but that was the weight of abuse.

Being layered also does not help as it's just too hot while running. Next week is my 4 yr mark for Kickboxing and I will be at 752 classes. Again covid disrupted my numbers.

My 4 yr running mark is not until April and I'm somewhere around 2,500 miles currently.

This month I am on pace for 30,000 calories burned which is excellent and I only achieve that mark once or twice a year. I am usually fine with anything over 20,000 burned. Anything under 20,000 means I haven't been working out enough.

So hopefully it snows just enough to cancel work tomorrow but not too much to shovel.

Enjoy your day everyone

[Thunder]

Hi Watcher,

I read about your possible Nor'Easter.  Hope you don't get too much snow and wind.
They say it is pretty fast moving, though.

Maybe it will end up being a good stay at home day for you.   

Think Spring!!  Ha ha  I know I am with all this below zero weather we've had most of January.

[Watcher]

Hi Thunder,

Well I did get a snow day today. I had about 8 inches of accumulation so I didn't fare that bad. Its been cold and windy all day with temps in the teens but we will hit 52 degrees on Thursday.

Now I had 500 classes at kickboxing after 2 years therefore I have only accumulated 250 more during the ensuing 2 covid years. So I should have hit 1,000 classes already and it will now most likely take me another 1.5 years.

Last week was my evening sessions. So that means I'm typically up at 5am for work and then I have my 430pm session immediately after work and I arrive home by 7pm. So IDK if kickboxing lasts forever.

My friends attend these evening sessions and all they do now is talk about ageing which does not interest me. I actually enjoy the morning sessions without them being there.

My morning sessions are usually 7am and then I work that week til 10pm so my schedule is just heinous.

I found the kickboxing and running while I was standing. Then it carried over while I was waiting to get divorced and now it still continues while I wait for a decision on this marital home sale.

The gym works right now because the weather is horrible and I look forward to transitioning to being outside.

Have a good night

[Watcher]

The sun was out today for a 4 mile run in 30 degrees. I went with the Hoka One SpeedGoat which is another trail shoe with a thick sole to handle the snow and ice.

January is a poor month to run as I ran just 5 times while amassing 31.6 miles. February will be just as bad. Running conditions will begin to improve come March.

I went to kickboxing this morning and finished out the month with 22 sessions. Again the February numbers will be similar and then I can start to move away from the gym in March and remain outside longer.

A compression shirt and thermal running fleece with hat and gloves were enough for 30 degrees today. Now I did feel the cold but it was only 4 miles and the thermal hoodie would have been way too much especially since there was no wind.

The scenery was nice today with the fresh snow, bright sun and frozen pond.

Enjoy your day

[Watcher]

This morning was the gym at 7am and I typically hide in the corner since I'm coffee deprived and I just want to get it over especially since it's cold. 7am is only 4 times a month for me however he is the best instructor so it's worth getting out of bed.

Afterwards I ran 3.5 miles with the Brooks Pure Grit which is another trail shoe. This one is lightweight meaning you can actually feel the ground. The sole is thinner than the Hoka One and I have worn these hiking since I can feel the rocks while crossing a stream or while climbing a boulder.

These are not waterproof so if you are running in the snow then you're going to feel your socks getting wet. The Hoka One trail shoes that I wore during my previous 2 runs are waterproof but bulky. So they handle well in the snow while the Pure Grit probably performs better on the ice.

The temps were 30 degrees again today with a bit of wind. Now I weighed myself today and I tipped the scales at 232 lbs which I think is heavy. Yea I don't think I like the 230 number but I don't see anything to cause alarm. I was probably 225 during the Summer when I last checked.

I do see clear muscle in my legs as I check them out all the time during kickboxing in the mirror.and my torso is fine so IDK....

Tomorrow's class is 930am which makes all the difference in the world because I can get my coffee allotment in prior to class. I may run again afterwards as I've decided to attack February.

I think 13.2 miles run is my record for February so this has definitely been my lazy month previously.

The ice storm is coming Thurs/Fri and I think it's covering a large swath again.

Have a good night

[Watcher]

Yesterday I had temps at 41 degrees after the gym for a 3 mile run. This run heated up quickly. I only have 3 trail shoes so I wore the Brooks Pure Grit again which is not so great on pavement. They are great for feeling out the terrain and I'm not going to wear my better running shoes in bad weather.

So February is already off to a good start with 3 straight kickboxing classes and 2 runs at 6.5 miles for 4,000 calories burned total. I have rain today and tomorrow so it was just the gym this morning and again tomorrow morning.

The sun is out for Saturday at 25 degrees so I may mix things up and go for a hike before returning to the gym and running combo on Sunday.

I haven't been aggressive with February before so I am trying something different this year.

Brooks has a very good looking Cascadia trail shoe and that maybe next. I recently purchased the Brooks Hyperion Tempo shoes which is for the track. Apparently you're supposed to mix things up and run a fast 5k while training every once in a while. Well those shoes along with Brooks Aurora will only leave the house in pure sunlight and when there is nothing on the ground, lol.

Enjoy your day everyone

[Watcher]

We have done so many squats these past 2 days in the gym and the glutes are on fire. Rain has kept me indoors so no running. I am at 4,800+ calories burned after 4 days of February. I think my personal best is 32,000+ for a single month. February only has 28 days so I will probably be short of it.

I received my Brooks Cascadia trail shoes today. They have a ballistic rock shield built in the sole. A lot of times I have cut the arch of my foot while running a trail while stepping on a sharp rock. The shoes never show any signs of damage however the rock still does a number on one's arch. I brought them because they are yellow and not necessarily for the built in rock shield, lol.

The sun is going to be out this weekend however its supposed to be cold in the 20's so I will see how the hiking goes tomorrow. I will be back in the gym on Sunday with a short run afterwards. The temps will move to the mid 40's starting on Monday and last through next weekend.

Enjoy your day

[Watcher]

So today was my rest day and I went hiking in the mountains. I arrived at my first location and it was closed due to hunting so I had to find a second choice.

The sun was out, temps were 25 degrees with 11 mph winds. I wore layers so there really was no issue with the cold. I wore double of everything and I needed to use my gaiter occasionally to keep the wind off my face.

For the most part the paths were a sheet of ice so I had to walk along the thicket line which still has many thorns however I was layered up and therefore felt no bites.

I circled the frozen lake and kept hearing the sound of what had to have been a beaver's tail slapping the water. It's a very distinct sound. There was a nice contrasting section of green sitting on top of the water versus the frozen lake.

I forget what they call it. I don't think it's algae. It took me about 1.5 hours to traverse the 3 mile trail. Tomorrow is another day in the 20's and then we will finally be in the 40's on Monday straight through next weekend and it will be welcomed.

Back to the gym grind tomorrow with a short run afterwards.

Have a good night

[Watcher]

Today my attorney talked to me and said she doesn't believe I can get any time taken off of the alimony since I am already receiving credit for it by paying the mortgage.

These lawyers flip flop because who do you think proposed the alimony reduction to begin with. It certainly wasn't me.

She asked if I wanted the child tax credit for tax purposes and I emphatically said no. WTF is that lousy child tax credit going to do for me. Furthermore we are already supposed to split the child tax credit according to the Iron Clad/All Wonderful/Useless MSA.

She is now going to be 1 year past the buyout deadline and a 6 month extension, which has not even started until 1 year passes I learned today, would being me to September. So for an 18 month delay they want me to accept a lousy child tax credit which I am already entitled to under everyone's favorite mighty MSA.

I don't take the child tax credit because that criminal will also do the same and I will be the one jammed up with the IRS and not her.

So my attorney sounded all exasperated and said she will tell them to produce the buyout or we will file the motion.

Do they really want me to just be a good guy about it and say ok. Let's wait until September to see how she still does not have the buyout.

I told my attorney they have nothing to offer me and, since I lack agape, sell the house.

So I guess they all believe that I should just continue to pay the mortgage and remain on this deed with her. We will see what happens but I don't expect much.
 

[em5731]

Hi watcher.

It’s very strange you are dealing with this. When we divorced I asked for 5 years to buy the house off him. And he said fine. It only took me 18 months. But it said in my decree that if I did not get the house out of this name by the deadline he was able to hire a realtor and sell the house. And I would have no rights. I’m shocked you are still dealing with this.

[forthetrees]

Perhaps you could be a broken record on this, "I am lacking in agape; sell the house."
This does not make you the bad guy. You had/have a contract and she has ignored the terms. Please don´t miss out on the spring sales season. This is a good time to sell. You´ve been living at your Mom´s for quite some time- you deserve a place of your own.

[Watcher]

Hi em5731, FTT

In November I retained attorney#2 because attorney#1 was seriously ill for months apparently. She told me that I could not file a motion to force the home sale as we had to negotiate first. I told her that I wasn't looking to throw her out but the case needed to move forward with some type of compensation.

She told me that alimony could be reduced for her staying longer in the home.

In January her attorney asked if xW could remain for 6 more months in the home. I erroneously thought that meant July 22 but it's really September 22. I wrote back to my attorney that I wasn't opposed to it however I just wanted to know what they were offering as compensation.

So now ,yesterday, my attorney says we cannot touch the alimony and she will just file the motion to force the sale. So what happened to the negotiations ?

xW attorney has sought to negotiate on 2 occasions. Once in 2019 and again now in Jan 2022. Both times it has been my attorneys who refuse to negotiate. They won't even counter with my offer.

I wasn't opposed to keeping them in the home because my son's live with her afterall. However, realistically xW will never be financially sound IMO and her proposed buyout is just a stalling tactic. I hung up the phone yesterday perplexed with my attorneys. Why are they being so difficult ?

So now it looks like the motion will be filed ,most likely, which is what I requested in November.

I make fun of the mighty powers of the MSA because my attorneys give me so much resistance. There is absolutely no proof that S18 is enrolled in college for example. The MSA clearly states that xW and our son need to provide documentation each semester.

My 2nd attorney said, "oh that's going to be hard to prove" when questioned whether CS should end. 🤣 They don't want to touch it. So am I paying CS for a child to actually receive a college diploma or am I really just paying CS because he meets the criteria for "college age years".

So I already know things are not going to work out with attorney#2 and I will have to look for someone else or just petition the court myself to ensure that the MSA is being adhered to as per the law.

Then when I returned home last night I had Mr and Mrs Watcher mail from the Bishop, lol. Yes nice try God. It's not working.  Five years ago that would have been a sign 

Enjoy your day
Thanks

[Watcher]

This morning I was out running at sunrise. There was black ice everywhere so I had to run on the frozen grass for the most part and it was a slow go. The temps were about 35° so not too bad.

I'm still only doing 3-4 mile runs as I'm not a big fan of wearing all these clothes while running. I went to kickboxing after work. So I have burnt 8900+ calories after 8 days.

I'm not looking to lose any weight and I'm really only interested in the statistics. I'm carrying 232lbs just fine. I think my waist jean size has gone from a 32 to a 34 after a 50+lb gain so that's not too bad. My shirt size has increased. That's where I notice the changes. I think it's my shoulders, lol.

It is going to be 59° on Saturday so that is going to be a hike. Now I hope my primary selection will be open this time. Saturday would actually be perfect for a 10 mile run but I will go with the hike instead. I don't think I have 10 miles in me yet anyway.

Running in shorts is really the only way to go. Wearing pants and hoodies while running is so uncivilized.

Work and gym over the next 3 days. I don't believe I'm running again until Sunday.

[Watcher]

So I found a discrepancy with my calorie count. I have a watch that was specifically purchased for the gym. Meanwhile I have another watch (Garmin) that was specifically purchased for running. However, I wear the Garmin all day long.

So after 10 February days I have burned 10,000+ calories through high intensity (HITT) workouts. This is the only number I usually monitor and my personal best for a month is 32,000+ calories.

However, the Garmin counts steps throughout the day. So when steps are added into the equation it bumps the 10 day calorie total to 16,000+ burned. Therefore, there are benefits for just walking but I'm not going to focus on walking calories.

One more day tomorrow at the gym and then I can go rest on Saturday while hiking in a much anticipated 45° in the mountains. Well I was a little discouraged because it's going to be 59° by me however I don't live in the mountains. Anyway I will take those glorious 45°.

So yesterday I was reading about Stalingrad and Narcissism on Quora and I saw nude photos of Hugh Jackman. Apparently he had a scandal a few years ago. Anyway I found that I too have some of those parts. 

I workout with my male friends this week so we went to late gym classes on Tues and Wed which were phenomenal and a change of pace. We all leave for work early in the morning so that was probably the only pitfall. Today I was back to a normal class schedule and I treated it like an act of recovery day.

I usually throw more punches in the gym and that's why I always have sore shoulders however they have hardened I've noticed. I don't like to kick too much because I have to protect my legs for running.

Anyway the gym is great for being stretched out and working on the abs.

Have a good night

[Watcher]

This mornings hike was at Mt. Tammany in the Delaware Water Gap which I first climbed in 2020. I had an 8:30am start. During the Summer this would be too late for a start. There would be no parking so a 7:00am arrival is needed during the Summer.

The sun was out with temps at 38° and winds at 23mph. I dressed for Winter so the cold was actually comfortable. The Red Dot trail is a steep climb. The pathway is usually a combination of dirt, rocks and large boulders. This morning the pathway was a sheet of ice and frozen mud at the start.

The climb up was very warm so I took my time and contemplated that I need to wear shorts under my pants so I can change when things get too hot. There were sections where the climb up was completely covered in ice and I swore I saw that alimony pass before my eyes quite a few times. 

I wore gloves as it was hands and knees at certain sections. The summit is beautiful and I had it to myself as it overlooks the Delaware River and Mt. Minsi in Pennsylvania which looks it has 3 large scratch marks.

The first time I did this trail I reversed course from the summit and walked back down the Red Dot trail but that was impossible today with the ice. I did it wrong anyway last time as the descent is made on the Blue Dot trail.

This was a slow descent. Today it was a solid sheet of ice so it was really slow going. I noticed people have chains on their shoes and that seems to help while walking on the ice.

The temps were probably rising during my descent as it was becoming a muddy icy mess. So it's probably better that I climbed early while everything was still frozen. I slipped twice on the descent and got stabbed in the leg with a sharp punji stick that was probably left over from the Vietnam War I'm thinking.

When I reached the bottom the creek was flowing nicely and the water was incredibly clear as icicle's hung from the mountain wall.

It took me 3 hours to traverse a little more than 3.7 miles. I probably came into contact with about 20 people along the way. When I went in August 2020 there were probably 1,000 slow moving people all wearing masks.

So I definitely have to look into chains for the shoes as that would have made the trek much easier. Two runners passed me with chains on their shoes and they didn't break stride on that ice.

Enjoy your day everyone

[Watcher]

Half way through February. This morning it was really windy so it was impossible to be outside as the temps felt like zero°. So it was only a gym session and I have no arms left as we continue to do push ups, planks, mountain climbers, shoulder taps, and every other kind of tap while on all fours.

Tomorrow morning I am just going for a run as the winds should be better. The cold weather in and of itself can be dealt with but 20+mph winds added to the equation is always the culprit.

Yesterday I ran after the gym and we had snow. I think I am starting to like the idea of running in the snow now. I did step in a huge puddle. It's an initial cold shock to the system.

However, while continuing to run that soaked feeling sort of leaves the shoe and sock. It doesn't necessarily dry however the constant pounding on the pavement beats the soakedness out of it.

So after 14 February days I have amassed 15,300 gym and running calories burned and 22,250 total when steps are added. Again I usually just focus on the gym and running burned calories but just wanted to show how walking by itself does add to the total loss.

Currently the arms, shoulders and abs are all sore because that is what we have been focusing on in the gym. Tomorrow will be in the 30's but we will have a solid week of the 50's starting on Wednesday.

Have a good night

[Watcher]

This morning it was 61° for a 5 mile run in shorts which is so much better. I can't wait to shed the running fleece and just go with a tech shirt. I went with Ghost 13 since I wore Ghost 12 yesterday.

This weather has been so crazy. I ran in snow on Sunday. Monday and Tuesday the temps were in the teens and now 60's today. Tomorrow will be back to mid 40's for both the gym and run afterwards.

I think it's all about the temperature as I ran 5 miles fine today. On gym days I usually just run 3-4 miles. The cold is fine by itself but the wind makes conditions undesirable. I'm trying to replicate that feeling when you run a marathon and hit miles 20-26 and you're all exhausted. I'm going to be stuck on 5 miles for awhile as I'm not ready to jump to 10 until March.

So after 17 February days I have burned 18,500 calories with the gym/running combo and 28,000 when steps are added. I just started monitoring the step count in February. Previously I would just goto the gym or run and then sit at work. So now I'm just being cognizant to also hit the step marks each day which is no small feat during the Winter.

I think I can go hiking on Monday as the temps will be in the mid 50's. Work this weekend so it will be just the gym as we have 20+mph winds starting tomorrow anyway. Spring is inching closer.

Have a good night

[Watcher]

Today we had 25 mph winds according to Garmin so running was a bit more difficult. I went to kickboxing in the morning and then ran 33 minutes afterwards for 3.5 miles. I kept it short because it was cold.

I think the colder weather forces you to exert more energy. The bulky clothing also probably adds an element to exerting more energy.

The workout score is based on heart beats per minute. My pace was nothing great, however I did hit above 154bpm for 32 of the 33 minute run.

I have attacked all 18 days thus far in February as its really the only way through it. I wore jeans and a t shirt when I was home and that's when you see the results so that's all the motivation to keep going.

Tomorrow morning back in the gym and then I will probably run afterwards. I say I won't but I most likely will always wins. This bad wind is sticking around all weekend though.

Have a good night

[Watcher]

Yesterday I hiked the Sourlands for 5.5 miles. It received its name from early settlers who found it impossible to grow anything on the mountain soil. If one wants to see an assortment of large boulders than this is the place.

I think this is now my 4th time at this place. There are 5 trails totaling 8 miles. I started off on the orange trail which is relatively flat and branched off to the yellow trail which is the ascent up the mountain.

I have been here during the Summer so I completed both the orange and yellow trails before the humidity finally took it's toll. I started early in the morning so the ground was still frozen as temps were in the 30's with the sun out. Perfect conditions for hiking with no wind.

I took the red trail, for the first time, which branches off of yellow and runs along the crest of the mountain. So it's relatively flat on top. This mountain is not so scenic. This place is all about the boulders. There is a creek up there but it wasn't that impressive without the rain/snow.

The yellow trail goes through the Devil's Half Acre which is an impressive boulder field. Now there is a 2nd boulder field up top but I missed it again. There is a blue trail that splinters off of red and leads to the 2nd field but I read the map wrong.

I thought the 2nd boulder field was along the red trail while I was hiking and I really wasn't impressed, lol. I hiked all the way up here for this I thought, lol. So it was on the blue trail apparently.

Maybe I will go back one more time and just knock out all 8 miles and get it done later in the Spring. I was already at the 2 hour mark so I didn't feel like continuing on the blue trail so I began my descent which turned into a mud fest as the mountain began to thaw in the rising temperatures.

I pretty much had the mountain to myself and I finally saw the large crowds pouring in when I had reached the orange trail at the bottom which was all mud at that point. I mean the kind of thick mud where it keeps your shoe. I couldn't believe people were wearing nice sneakers, lol.

I cleaned off my shoes in the creek which was ice cold and luckily I had plastic bags in the trunk. I had the gym afterwards so I had a change of clothes anyway. This is my evening gym sessions week so I'm forced to be social.

The splits after last night had me at 24,000+ gym calories burned and 35,000+ burned overall after 21 February days. Yes I'm kicking February's arse.

This morning I woke up feeling all like 49 yrs old. However, these imaginary results keep me going. I went to work and then ran in the rain for 3 miles afterwards. Rain becomes my Spring nemesis after the Winter cold passes. Then it will be the heat and humidity. Its always something.

Now I'm waiting for kickboxing because this is my social week where men like to work out with me for some reason.

Enjoy your day everyone

[Watcher]

Yesterday we had 68° however the winds were 25 mph so it really wasn't a pleasant run. Today we were back to a cold and miserable 36° run. I did not see any career criminal MLCer's thankfully during my runs however I think I came across some sheep I believe.

You know, sheep don't think for themselves, they just follow the manipulative MLC shepherd and remain stuck grazing on old grass forever. That's what I observed anyway. Like I said, it was cold so maybe my oxygen levels were affected while I was running.

Oh I forgot to mention that last Monday's hike did not threaten her alimony in any way, shape, or form. That alimony was on a safe hike. I just wanted to get that out there just in case some people thought I was being reckless and irresponsible like a lifelong career MLCer which I am not thankfully.

I also went to the gym the past 2 days and have now burned a whopping 42,000+ calories during February and I don't believe I have any left in my system.

So tomorrow we have an MLC ice storm in the forecast. So that means there will be a tremendous amount of manipulative BS and excuses during the run. Oh you know those MLCers, always full of $h!tee !

Well have a good night everyone   

[JohnnyBravo]

Oh I forgot to mention that last Monday's hike did not threaten her alimony in any way, shape, or form. That alimony was on a safe hike. I just wanted to get that out there just in case some people thought I was being reckless and irresponsible like a lifelong career MLCer which I am not thankfully.

Don't protest too much, buddy... HAH!

[Watcher]

Hi Johnny Bravo.

The only issue from running outdoors in the cold weather has been with my lungs. Now I'm fine while running however I am having these brief coughing fits afterwards. I was reading online where the cold dry air is actually drying out the 🫁 and thus causing this irritation.

I ran with a mask on today because it's supposed to keep the warm air inside but I was only able to do so for 3 miles before it filled with too much moisture.

Today was a 5 mile run in 28° with 14 mph annoying winds.

So while Vladimir Putin looks like a bad guy today, remember, in the future he may well be a Hero Spouse member, as long as, he meets the criteria of looking to reconnect with an LBS xW.  Transgressions be damned afterall. Maybe even to hell with the LBS afterall.

Welcome to the Hero Spouse: Screw The LBS. sounds kind of catchy. Just sayin'.

I mean if you throw it in our faces there is going to be push back.

So tomorrow will be a hike. IDK yet if I am placing the alimony in harm's way.

Well enjoy your day LBS. Just to be clear from now on.

[Watcher]

Yesterday I went hiking in Hacklebarney State Park which is very scenic along a beautiful river. It's a bit rocky but relatively flat. This was my 2nd time there and it must look really good during the Fall when the leaves change.

Not that many people out yesterday as it was cold around 30° with some wind. So I've been fortunate thus far with my 4 hikes because there has been low foot traffic. Usually during the Summer the crowds will really slow down the process.

Well since there were not that many people it does leave one vulnerable to predators. I kept hearing some twigs snapping as I was walking coming from the brush. I kept looking but could never see what was stalking me.

At first I thought it was just my imagination but I kept hearing the snapping of twigs and crunching of dry leaves the further I hiked on. I thought for sure I was being stalked by a predatory black bear.

One always thinks black bear in the woods while it's most likely just a squirrel or a chipmunk. Well I stopped to take a photo along the river and could not believe my eyes with what emerged from the forest. 2 women who were close to 60 yrs old. HOLY SH!TE ! I thought to myself.

Did you really need to stop for that photo stupid ? So now I was cornered as my back was to the river with no escape. I mean, no man wants to be found boinked to death in the woods afterall. 

I had no women spray to repel them. My goodness I stupidly went into the woods with only bear repellent. I don't think that stuff works on close to 60 yr old women.

Anyway I played it cool and used my bear escape instincts that I have learned over the years from watching YouTube. Avoid eye contact at all cost. You want to ensure that the close to 60 yr old women don't see you as a threat or a challenge.

Then you want to make yourself appear to be bigger than usual, but then I thought to myself, that could really be misinterpreted the wrong way and seen as an invitation to pounce.

So I went with balling up into the feeble position and that seemed to work. The 2 women passed my lifeless body without incident and I escaped the near boinking death encounter. That was really a close one.

I was sweating profusely by the time I made it back to the safety of my car. Now there was another close to 60 year old woman in the parking lot but ,thankfully, she had already ensnared a man and I was able to escape.

Well enjoy your day everyone

[Watcher]

So February is now concluding. March is usually a mixed weather bag. I noticed yesterday that I am getting more from the hikes than I am with the running currently. Icicles were dangling over the river from fallen trees and branches which looked really cool.

When I got back to my car in the parking lot I saw that older than me couple and they were probably married. She was smiling while she adjusted her matching gloves and hat while wearing sunglasses.

I always ask myself how did they make it. Not that I'm contemplating why I didn't make it since I know there was no way for me to make it.

I always pay attention to the wives when I come across them. She was smiling and I could tell she wanted to be there. It is absolutely such a foreign concept for me to see that in a woman. It's nice to see. It's not the first time I've noticed. I just always notice now I guess. Like I should have had that experience kind of a thing.

Anyway a few weeks ago I went to this location but the park was closed because there had been an ice storm the night before. I drove past this farm and they were advertising beet soup. I should have stopped as I need to start breaking free of my own covid sanctions and I do like beets.

Yesterday they were advertising broccoli and cheddar soup. It's still just too cold. 2-3 hours is the maximum that I will stay outdoors. Once the weather begins to warm I will be able to extend my time outdoors.

When I got home tonight there was a real estate flyer with both our names on it. I wondered if anyone is guiding her because I'm not interested in a co ownership. IDK if she feels cornered. IDK if she is capable of feeling cornered. I know I wouldn't want that stress. LOL, I don't even want the stress of this on my end.

So that was it.

Have a good night

[Watcher]

Today we actually had nice weather as the end of Winter is inching closer. Hopefully we are in store for 8.5 months of good weather now.

I finished February with 41 workouts in 28 days and burned 48,000+ calories. IDK if that really means anything. I just needed motivation to get through February which is my most productive exercise month now.

In March I will drop the goal down to 31 workouts for the month since I should be able to increase my running mileage. Yesterday I ran 5 miles comfortably listening to Brandon Lake. I'm not good with song titles but he is singing about miracles and that's my current running tune.

The radio version sounds better but I can only find the live version while I run. It must have been  atonement Tuesday. This morning was the gym, tomorrow is the gym and Friday is a 5 mile run.

I'm up to 90 miles run so far and that's a record for me in this cold weather. So hopefully I will be able to shed the clothes and lengthen my runs soon.

This weekend does not look so great weather wise with rain on Sunday and the temps at 65°. Saturday will be gray with temps at 45° so that will be the hike day.

I'm not going to choose a scenic course since it would be a waste of time without the sun. So I have to pick a hike where I am looking to meet objectives.

I've been to this Pyramid Mountain twice and it has 3 rock formations of interest. I went in 2020 and found the Tripod rock formation and went back in 2021 with S18 and we didn't meet any of the objectives on a hot day.

So it maybe better to tackle this one on a gray day before the woods turn green. The other 2 formations are Whale's head rock, and Bear rock. It looks like 7 miles at 3-4 hrs.

So this one will be all about the 3 rock formations. No summit views and no water I believe. I do like the water.

You know, I didn't receive mail for years since I handle everything online. Since the start of this year all I receive is Mr. and Mrs. mail. She has our names on everything. I would classify it all as junk mail.

Still silence with the 2 boys but that's not from my doing.

Have a good night

[Watcher]

The sun was out this morning so I changed hikes since Pyramid Mountain really doesn't have to be done in nice weather. Aside from it's 3 rock formations I don't find that hike to be that scenic.

So I went to Hemlock Falls which I had done twice before since I started hiking in 2020.  I stopped to get coffee and something to eat while the joggers were already pounding the pavement. That is always the indicator that daylight is burning and one is losing the morning initiative.

Thankfully I was able to find parking and start my hike at 830am.  It was a cool 27° with 8 mph winds so I layered up with double socks, double pants and 4 layers up top where I'm usually most coldest.

I started off on the yellow trail which is an immediate ascent of 900 feet. That's the steepest section so it's over within 30 minutes as it leaves its toll on the legs.

Washington's Rock sits at the summit as it was used as an observation post during the American Revolutionary War. As with the previous hikes the mud was frozen which was good but there were no real issues with ice on this one.

I noticed the Robin's were out in abundance so this must be the bird which signals Spring is approaching. There was ice forming on a few of the creeks I crossed which was nice to see.

I was surprised to see the Falls themselves frozen when I arrived. Depending on the amount of rainfall during the Summer these Falls can appear to be a leaky faucet at best. So it was nice to see the full ice effect on display.

This hike was a little over 6 miles at 3 hours and the trails were in full meltdown over the last half mile so the mud was definitely going to be an afternoon problem for the later hikers.

Enjoy your day

[Watcher]

On Monday we had 73° with 19 mph wind so running was not ideal however I was able to still wear shorts and run 5 miles. Yesterday was 40° with some wind for 3 miles and today I just went to the gym as we had rain with temps in the 30's.

I tried out my Hoka One Arahi (Plein Air/Fog Blue) on Monday and Tuesday. I felt blisters forming and I find this when I wear Hoka One so I will have to double up on the socks which I should just do anyway no matter the shoe.

Today was actually the first day to claim my spot for the New York City Marathon in November so that is now set. So I have two in place with Berlin and New York.

Meanwhile I'm waiting on London as they will announce their lottery winners next week. London is in October and then it will revert back to it's traditional April schedule in 2023 so another lottery is already going to be held soon for that one. So I see myself as having two chances with the lottery before I would consider the charity route.

I have a St. Paddy's 5 mile race on Sunday that was originally scheduled for 2020. I have a few more 2020.stragglers that I have to run.

Right now 5 miles is tops in this weather. Hopefully I will be able to stretch it to 10 miles in April.

Have a good night

[Watcher]

Today this religious non profit group contacted me and left a message. Apparently xW is in housing counseling. Yes I know it's not the same as ex marriage counseling but it's pretty close. I guess she maybe standing at the screen door of the tunnel and breathing in some fresh air.

So they would like to talk to me to discuss the house situation. I did some research online and this is not a mortgage group. They only offer counseling and kumbaya support which I don't need.

I really don't see any negotiations going on as these lawyers won't allow anything to be negotiated. They want me to lose more time while waiting for my equity however they don't want xW to lose a thing. I should just accept the child tax happy meal exemption.

I mean ,at least, offer me some new Brooks sneakers and I would probably cave.

So it screams of desperation. Really shame on these 2 lawyers. They know she is not all there and they know her financial situation so they should have been more willing to get a deal done, and yes, that means she would have to give something up.

Meanwhile xW is just dumber than dumb. I was in no rush to do anything with the house until she got all stupid again with our son's last September. They really are self destructive creatures.

You know, she is on the mother firetrucking ropes and I don't want to knock her out. I swear I curse that woman all the time for the things she has done.

The whole out of sight out of mind thing really works but then it's this bs phone message or a call from my attorney that brings it all back.

I don't want to go back to that Hero Spouse crap phase where I had feelings like I did for 3 or 4 years. Oh there's something wrong with her, bla, bla, bla.... Eff her. I want my heart to be as cold and frozen as that waterfall that I saw last week.

Oh and today is a non running day. So I only have kickboxing to get it out, lol.

[Thunder]

Watcher I would just completely ignore this counseling group.  They are not going to help her be able to buy you out, her credit is way too bad.  Maybe they can counsel her to just accepting reality. 

So what do they really think they can accomplish?   Absolutely nothing but waste more time, which is probably what she is banking on.

My opinion, for what it is worth, would be to just tell your lawyer you're done.  No more negotiating, just sell the house.   Get it done and over with.

[UrsaMajor]

I'd be VERY tempted to just give this "support group" the basic facts - there is a court approved MSA that xW has not adhered to, xW is now in arrears for the purchase or sale of the home, and that you are not responsible for her actions and then tell them that you are not going to discuss the matter further.

and then

hey are not going to help her be able to buy you out, her credit is way too bad.  Maybe they can counsel her to just accepting reality. 

So what do they really think they can accomplish?   Absolutely nothing but waste more time, which is probably what she is banking on.

My opinion, for what it is worth, would be to just tell your lawyer you're done.  No more negotiating, just sell the house.   Get it done and over with.

Exactly what Thunder said... This group can't help her and it is a waste of time..... Time for the lawyer to do what they are being paid for and get it done.

[Watcher]

Hi Thunder, UrsaMajor.

Today it was the prodigal S19 for the first time since January 19th.

She is laying the victim groundwork for the court IMO. She already has the domestic violence abuse attorney and according to the website this group helps low income or the elderly. They counsel you on how to pay your bills. Like I said. Laying the foundation for continued delays. Oh the defendant is getting help your honor, bla, bla, bla.

They prepare you for life with a mortgage or rent, lol. Maybe she has to go-to mortgage school first. IDK.

Meanwhile I'm just looking forward to Monday. If I get London then I'm definitely going to Stonehenge and then I'm kayaking on Loch Ness. I will bring my Go Pro to capture ol'Nessie since previous footage has been kind of questionable.

I was reading that Loch Ness is a bucket list adventure.

At the gym there is a new burpee song. AC/DC "Thunderstruck". Every time they sing thunder you have to drop and do a burpee. I counted 37 at least.

This morning I ran 5 miles and the temps were 46°. Meanwhile a bomb cyclone is in tomorrow's forecast. I think that means it's going to both rain and snow.

Enjoy your day

[Watcher]

Winter 🥶 was still holding on for dear life this morning with 23° and 16 mph winds for a 1030am start at my 5 mile race.

This was face mask weather, along with 2 pairs of socks and 2 pairs of gloves. I went with 1 pair of pants since 2 pairs is pushing towards heat exhaustion and 2 light running fleeces. No heavy cotton hoodies.

I ran with my new Hoka One Arahi and they responded well. It's always best to throw the young sneakers into the line of fire immediately to see how they will respond to the performance pressure.

I did this once with Hoka One Rincon and they failed miserably and they sadly never got another chance. Sometimes a cold heart is needed with these underperforming sneakers.

I ran this course in 2019 at a 9:07 pace and today at a 9:19 so not much of a drop. Max elevation was 124 feet so it was slightly hilly.

My next 2020 makeup race is a half marathon on April 2nd over a course that I have never run.

Enjoy your day

[Watcher]

Today I ventured to Pyramid Mountain on a 5 mile hike to find 3 glacial erratics. I was off from work. Temps were 48° and the sun was out.

It was eerie as there was only 1 car in the parking lot and the sign at the kiosk warned that black bears were active. You know, I would much rather just claim ignorance. So there is no need for the warning IMO.

It snowed over the weekend so there was a nice layer of fresh snow on the path. As I was climbing I could see the shadows of the red tail hawks circling above me.

They circled me for quite sometime and I was wondering if they were patiently waiting for the black bear to attack me and partake in the spoils of victory.

When I got home I had to Google and learned that the hawk is a spirit animal and good things are on the horizon. Whew.

So glacial erratics are large rocks that are not native to the area and they were moved into place thousands of years ago by glaciers which then melted, thus stranding the rocks.

I guess one could say that these glacial erratics were bomb dropped by the glaciers. They never saw it coming.

Anyway the first glacial erratic I encountered was Tripod Rock which I have seen once before back in 2020. There are a few erratics in this section but Tripod Rock is the main attraction because it rests on 3 smaller boulders, hence the name, tripod.

So this was on the blue trail and I recognized the rock since I have been here before. I mean, there's no sign saying here is Tripod Rock, so maybe look at a photo ahead of time just in case.

There were people around it when I went the first time. That's how I knew.

Ok so after the blue trail you have to find the orange trail to locate the next formation known as Whale Head Rock. So now I was on Google because there was no one on this trail and I really didn't want to walk by it.

The orange trail was a descent and it was kind of challenging. The blue trail had been the ascent. So I eventually turned up at Whale Head Rock and I confirmed with Google just to make sure I was correct.

I have to say that is does look like a Whale's Head. There is a large crack that resembles it's mouth. I'm thinking killer 🐋.

I continued along the orange trail and located erratic #3 known as Bear Rock. Now it is massive. I can sort of see the 🐻 resemblance. Maybe if it was laying down sleeping.

It took me 3 hours and all 3 locations sit right on the paths. There really is no foliage so it probably was a good time to go now.

No date with Nessie for me until ,at least, Spring 2023 as I didn't get selected. I knew this prior to the hike so it's just as well since I encountered my spirit animal afterwards.

Anyway I already have 2 marathons in the Fall and running both Berlin and London in a week would probably have not been a successful endeavor.

So the spirit animal is telling me something else is in the plans.

Enjoy your day everyone

[UrsaMajor]

Sign at the local store just outside the park boundaries - "Beware of Bears - Get your Anti-Bear kit here"
The greenhorn walks in and wants to by an Anti-bear kit. He asks the store owner what is in  the kit and the store owner replies that there is a can of Bear Repellent (basically pepper spray) and a set of bells one wears around their neck to make noise on the trails and scare the bears away ahead of time....

Greenhorn gets to the park and there is a Ranger there to guide the tour... As they are walking along, the Ranger is pointing out all the various things they can see, tracks, flowers, plants, trees and the like. Suddenly, the ranger stops and tells the tour "And here just off the path, to the right we have a perfect example of Black Bear scat" (poop for the uninitiated).

The greenhorn asks how the ranger knows it is from a bear....

The Ranger replies, "Oh, that is easy, it stinks like pepper spray and has little bells in it.... "

[Watcher]

Hi UrsaMajor,

I was reading this interesting article in Psychology Today on Bearopause. If a hiker comes upon a female bear she will most likely rip one's head off. Literally turn the hiker into parts. It gives a whole new meaning to I have parts. The bear spray will be ineffective IMO.

The male bears have all fled the forests because of this phenomena. Look at the case of Hank the Tank out in Lake Tahoe, California. Poor 500lb Hank has been forced into a life of crime and has been accused of breaking into 30 homes thus far.

Well Hank is most likely a deadbeat bear anyway and hikers are usually left alone to be confronted by female bear projection as they are out on the trail with their abandoned cubs. Oh hell hath no fury like a female bear scorned afterall.

So reach for that can of bear spray but she will be on the attack quickly and you most likely will just end up spraying yourself in the face as she mauls away thinking about how Hank skipped town.

Therefore it's probably safer to go hiking on the weekends as there are more people on the trails and it gives the bearopausal female some more eating options. Either way, I'm running if I'm confronted by an aggressive female out there in the woods. That's the best strategy. 

Enjoy your day and stay safe

[Watcher]

Today I saw the now S19 for the first time since January as he just continues along with his dermatology treatment.

He reached out to me last week and I'm not quite sure why his mom cannot take him or why he needs me to take him. If he has been shutdown by his mom then they should just shut it down completely as I don't need the token appointment appearance.

Then again maybe I'm the one who needs to shut it down completely.

He was prescribed some acne cream treatment now and his next appointment won't be until June so I shouldn't hear from him.

There's really nothing for me to ask him and our only conversation revolves around the dermatology. He usually has his music playing when he is in my car with his earbuds in.

He did ask if we could stop for take out on the way back to his house and I said ok. I had to remind him to get something for his brother ,and realistically, IDK if S21 even lives in that house anymore.

I dropped him back home and I focused on his sneakers as he walked away and just thought to myself how he is going nowhere in life with her. Maybe he lives by himself. He would never tell me.

I had other family obligations today so tomorrow I will be able to be outdoors on my own.

[Watcher]

Yesterday was the better weather day. Today the temps were good but it was cloudy and windy thus negating the 55°. I opted to run at the windy beach instead of hiking as I need to start getting some long runs in.

I wore my Hoka One Arahi for a good 10 mile run. I try to break the marathon down into 3 phases and the first 10 miles are never the problem. So I have to work on speeding up phase 2 at 11-20 miles. Phase 3 is miles 21-26 and IDK if that can be worked on yet.

I do have a couple of half marathons approaching and I will continue to use one day on the weekend for my long runs.

I keep the mid week runs at 3-5 miles as I have to juggle my schedule around work and kickboxing. I found this really cute pig last week during my morning runs. I stopped one day and took her photo as she came running towards me. She was only interested to see if I had food.

The other 2 days I could only blow kisses to her since I was still in my run, however she still thought I had food for her and came running.

I did email my attorney and asked her what on earth is going on with the house and I told her that I am also now filing to end child support since there is absolutely no proof our son attends college.

If there is any resistance on either filing then I'm finding another attorney and I will be going after both attorney's for breach of contract as they both have bizarrely protected my xW by permitting her to stall the process while also refusing to file the motion to force the home sale as per our MSA.

I look forward to the day when I actually have to write her an alimony check and it's late every mother firetrucking month. Payback will be a b!tch !

[Watcher]

So it looks like xW no longer has an attorney and she has to find a new one. I believe my attorney said she is only giving xW 5 years to find a new one so it's not like it will be forever.

We should place bets. What will come first ? A new attorney for xW or my acceptance into the London Marathon within the next 5 years.

I forwarded the information from that religious non profit which contacted me a week or two ago to my attorney. So that phone message makes sense now as this group must now represent xW in some capacity.

Attorneys are just running for their lives on this case. xW probably didn't pay her so she ran for the exit. She also probably didn't listen to her advice.

She did have her attorney in January and February so there must have been a falling out.

I'm pretty sure my attorney regrets ever getting involved with me and she is probably hoping I let her escape too.

So we will see.

So my attorney just called me. Apparently another attorney just contacted her a week ago and said she was being retained by xW and then she called back this week and said she still hadn't been retained.

So my attorney says I have been too nice. OMG.....and it's not her style to threaten the other party but it's time to threaten the other party because she is taking advantage of me.

She doesn't want to cost me money but she needs to light a fire under xW because she is just playing games. Apparently xW has been back and forth with promises to sell the house and then buy me out from the house.

Well she finally figured it out.

[readytofixmyselffirst]

Hello,

So it looks like xW no longer has an attorney and she has to find a new one. I believe my attorney said she is only giving xW 5 years to find a new one so it's not like it will be forever.

Wow, I am so surprised. Throughout this entire process, I have always been amazed out how your ex was one on top of things, getting things files, answering responses promptly, and meeting all timelines. To have her attorney leave her in her hour of need.  No heart out there. LOL

So my attorney says I have been too nice. OMG.

That is the understatement of the year. People say I am a nice guy, but next to you, I am Beelzebul. I would have already had her in court and having her pay you interest on your expected equity in the house. Plus, now that she is the only occupant, she should be making the payments on the home as well.

Apparently xW has been back and forth with promises to sell the house and then buy me out from the house.

Once again, I am so shocked by this, I always considered your ex a woman true to her word. Just unbelievable.

What will come first ? A new attorney for xW or my acceptance into the London Marathon within the next 5 years.

I would like to throw in when I am capable of running a marathon. Considering I can make it 100 yards without my knees seizing up on me, it is going to be a long wait.

Sorry you are going through this, just crazy. Have you got the new dog yet?


((((Ready))))

[Watcher]

Hi Readytofixmyselffirst,

A few weeks ago my mom said I needed to kick that woman to the curb already which I thought was an odd comment since I thought I already did that.

My lawyer says today that I am being to nice and I'm being taken advantage of, meanwhile I've been asking her since November to file the motion.

Unfortunately people have to experience it for themselves. I'm guilty until my xW finally proves my innocence through her behavior, lol.

I already know I'm being played and my attorney now knows that we are both being played.

She interrupted me while I was posting earlier and we had been emailing each other this morning. So her original attorney who requested the 6 month extension to stay in the home refuses to return any calls to my attorney. Therefore there is no negotiation going on.

Meanwhile a new attorney contacted my attorney a week or so ago and claimed they were going to represent xW and sell the house. However, my attorney called her back and xW has not retained them.

Now I look like the one who is throwing them out of the house. So I have to run that crap off. A lot.

Also, the religious non profit is just pure nonsense as per my attorney.

So give her enough time and she will always hang herself. So Idk if I'm being too nice. I do have a complex I think of trying not to appear like I'm the one who abandoned them. So for me I thought it was fine to let her stay an additional 6 months.

Again they all seem to discover her crazy eventually and I'm absolved. I need the lawyer to take charge and enforce the MSA which has been a disappointment thus far.

She said today, you're never going to get rid of your xW and I said, I know, so do something about it already.

As you know from running the L.A. Marathon yourself, the training occupies so much of one's time. It's easily 9 months out of the year. So I'm always busy running and my mind is always occupied.

So my year is really all about Berlin and New York. That's what I'm training for. Yes I still have a life somewhere squeezed in there but I have to run to increase my mileage.

Meanwhile my coworkers know I'm running the NYC Marathon so now the pressure is really on to perform well, lol

Hopefully this motion will get filed now and we can begin to get this house issue settled.

Have a good night

Thanks

[Watcher]

Here's my new favorite song by Lenny Kravitz

American disordered woman
Stay away from me
American disordered woman
Mama, let me be

Don't come hangin' round my door
I don't wanna see your face no more
I got more important things to do
Than spend my time growin' old with you.

Now woman, stay away
American disordered woman, listen what I say.

So apparently she has retained this new attorney and I received their victim manifesto today. Allegedly the American disordered woman has been willing to sell the home but it's Watcher who is not cooperating. Allegedly they were also under the impression that I was granting her more time.

Then I was accused of being behind on support payments when in fact, the American disordered woman owes me $130 for over payment since the mortgage increased. Now I demand payment for the smearing insult. Chop chop dear, another $32 is owed me come April.

Then I was told to pick out the realtor while she promises to keep the premises clean. However, she demanded I remove all my tools from the outside shed to make the house presentable.

Well I advised my attorney that the courts awarded the American disordered woman the residence and all the possessions within it. Also, I advised my attorney that she is a violent, physically abusive woman who has a propensity to call the police and I am going nowhere near her nor that house.

Her attorney is also pressing now to divide the pensions and I advised me attorney the house needs to be sold first and I need documentation proving my son is a college student in accordance to the laws in our state regarding a continuance for child support.

Don't worry everyone. We are going on 7 years post BD and all will be forgiven in another 10 years when she exits the tunnel performing the Irish River Dance and announces she found God.

LMAO .....

[forthetrees]

River Dance image is priceless.

Gaslighting: you have caused the delay of the sale.

Well, confirmation that you know what you are dealing with.

Push to get it on the market PRONTO. As crazy as this exchange was, it is an admission that she is NOT going to buy it.

[Watcher]

Hi FTT,

Oh the constant smear campaign from her is just maddening. Here she is 1 year late on the home sale and their entire victim manifesto was just slamming me. Granted she only has had a new attorney since this week, lol.

That's been xW go to line throughout this entire ordeal. "Oh no one can ever get in touch with Watcher". Yes that's why we have attorneys, lol.

Anger just poured from that letter. She's mad I have her blocked since last September and I ignored that religious non profit call. That call was referenced as her attempt to contact me.

I can choose the realtor they say , as long as, I don't choose a family member or friend to sell it. This is classic MLC/NARC 101. LISTEN to the crap that comes out of their mouth for they ALWAYS tell on themselves.

Last September she texted me this prophetic line, "oh Watcher, we have the power to make our son's successes or failure's". Oh I knew it was all over after I read that one as she shut them down immediately. Obviously I say she chose failure, however in her warped mind, keeping them away from me is a success.

Remember it was she,  last year, who had the gung-ho realtor friend . How would anyone even know if I had a realtor friend. Meanwhile I will just see if my attorney has someone she uses for these moments.

I don't like being insulted and that's what her attorney did by trying to paint me as a deadbeat over $130. Had anyone read the MSA they would all know she was no longer entitled to anymore payments from me because the mortgage increased, thus causing me to over pay support now.

Do the math. $130 divided by 4 months. So one can see I didn't have to send her a large monthly check to begin with, lol. So she actually owes me money now.

Emptying out the shed is just a ploy to get me to the house. A lawnmower and garden implements. Maybe the next home owner would like them. Meanwhile her parents broke down unusable car still sits in the driveway.

"Oh we hope Watcher is still going to abide by the terms of the MSA". Hahahaha. They actually wrote that crap. Flip it around folks. That line actually means xW has no intention of ever abiding by the MSA.

She was awarded everything in the home since I only asked for 2 items, of which, I have received one. It's common MSA sense. Everything in the house and shed is therefore hers.

"Oh the defendant will keep the house presentable for walk through and showings". OMG. That's the kiss of death right there since my pesky tools are apparently in the way of showings. That's called laying the groundwork for dissent. Oh this hammer is still here therefore I couldn't let the realtor inside the house.

Oh we had to cancel the showing because Watcher failed to remove a box of nails from the basement. Oh it's coming.

It really ticks me off because I have done everything for my family during these soon to be 7 years and also even for that abusive idiot.

Today was a run day but I have devastating news to report. It rained yesterday and therefore there were puddles today. Apparently Hoka One Arahi got mud on their Blue Fog color. My goodness. I have already washed them but I do not think they will make it through the night.

This happened once before to a pair of tangerine Brooks Ghost 12. They were just never the same again. Mud can be devastating.

Have a good night
Thanks

[FaithWalker]

Boy this house thing just keeps dragging on, doesn't it?  Ugh.  How frustrating that must be.

[Watcher]

Hi FaithWalker,

Well we both now have new attorneys. I acquired mine last November and hers seems to have been added last week. Our previous 2 attorneys didn't seem like they were interested in bringing this to a conclusion.

Her new attorney did waive the white flag and said xW was unable to buy me out or refinance so she agreed the house had to be sold.

My attorney contacted me this morning just to let me know that her prior attorney had been aware of the mortgage increase and she would inform her current attorney as to why I am no longer sending a support check.

Oh I'm tired of the attorneys, the legal process, and I'm tired of xW. I just want to move on with my life and leave it all behind. I was looking at Berlin train schedules the other day at work and then I received my attorneys email and it's back to this dumpster fire life.

Yes I'm looking forward to the end of this dumpster fire 🔥 life. It's going to be 7 years in July since my freedom was granted. Some people know it as BD. Just sayin'. Meanwhile it's going to be 3 years already in June since I filed. Yes it's time.

Tomorrow is a non traditional half marathon. For some reason the 5k portion is run first and then you line up for the 10 mile start. So there is basically a 5 minute pause in between. I've seen a few of these types of races in NJ.

I ran this course in 2019 and I vaguely remember it as being hilly farmland. I picked up my bib today and the shirt giveaway says 2020. It's funny how a few of the races give out their 2020 merchandise because no races have run since 2019.

I didn't have my Garmin back then so I cannot look up the map from that day. Garmin maps your course as you run so I have them all from September 2019 forward.

For some reason the name on my bib says Tiger. The woman was confused because that's my bib and it didn't say Watcher. So the man checked and said this definitely was my bib and would I mind running as Tiger. Well what was I going to say. They can't just print me up a new bib. So I will be Tiger.

Then another woman waiting on line said she wished she could have Tiger because she owned 3 cats and I just smiled and thought to myself, I haven't even sold the house yet lady, lol.

I have noticed that I'm easily agitated when this divorce or home sale comes up. It's most likely anxiety. I probably just want it to end already. So hopefully soon.

Enjoy your day
Thanks

[in it]

Hi Watcher,

 I know it's been a while since I have posted but I still read yours.
This situation would be enough to give anybody anxiety.

I was glad to see you post you are not going to get lured back into going over there over a box of nails or anything else. She's dangerous and abusive. And there is no excuse for it.
IF she insists on being difficult and won't show the house because you haven't cleaned out the shed? Hammer it home a couple of more times with your lawyer that all the stuff belongs to HER and someone to reread the paperwork. You are smart to do everything through the lawyers, trying to reason with her directly more than likely will not work. All she is going to do is lie anyway.

I know you are tired of everything who wouldn't be? But you have to muster the strength to get this over with.It IS time to stop being so "nice" You have been way to patient with this, much to your own detriment. I know the running kickboxing etc helps you deal with the stress etc. But it's time to get down to business. There is no reason for you to try to understand or have any compassion for her (which I think you stopped a while ago).She just takes advantage of it.  Your anger is justified. Use it as fuel in in the form of determination to get  this over with.

Look for a real estate agent ASAP. And start pushing for proof that the son is still in college.
You've done more than you needed to for the family and she benefits. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

You cannot worry about who looks like the "bad guy" or who's right, or who's to blame, who wins or her playing the victim all the time .Drop the self doubt. I understand just wanting to move on with your life. Yes it is time to get this over with.You have to do what's best for you.  This may be the  only way you may get any peace.


In It

[FaithWalker]

Yes, BD for me was 6 years ago this last December.  We are coming up on 6 years since the D this coming April.

I did hold on to hope for quite a while but that has passed now.  The final nail in the coffin for me was the remarriage.

I think it would have been sooner had I realized that BD was the ending of the marriage, but I was in denial.

I am rooting for the sale of your marital home and your push for that final leg of freedom.  Victory will be so sweet once that happens and you can actually move forward in life.  Gosh, I cannot imagine.  I would be so tired dealing with this never-ending saga.

I think for me it would've been easier with a clean break.  But with kids together that is impossible.

[Watcher]

Last night I think I was in a light sleep. I clearly felt like I was awake and could hear every noise while I tossed and turned. At the same time I also remember having a few dreams so I must have slept.

Of course this always happens the night before a long race so I thought I would be tired this morning. My mind just kept thinking, you're up, you're not getting any sleep. The whole entire night.

This morning was winter weather and thus required the appropriate winter gear for running. It was cold 🥶 with a nasty wind chill. Yesterday I had been walking in the park and everything is starting to turn yellow, pink, white, etc....So it's getting closer.

So this run is called a half marathon challenge. Thankfully I went yesterday to pickup my racing materials and just had to wait for the start this morning. The challenge begins with a 5k and upon completion the runners move onto the 10 mile course which is in a different location.

Both courses are run on hilly farmland countryside. Again I'm not quite sure why they run it this way. The emphasis seems to be placed on the 10 mile run so I'm thinking this was the original traditional race and then they added the challenge. IDK.

During the opening half mile of the 5k I saw this 5 year old running and I kept thinking to myself, wow, this little girl is keeping pace with you Watcher. Then I thought to myself after a few minutes of watching her how you really need to start running Watcher or go home.

So overall for the half marathon I took 11 minutes off of my 2019 run time and all 11 were taken off of the 10 miler so I was happy with that result , especially since, it was on hills.

A soggy winter hat and wet winter gloves are not ideal while running , along with, everything else just being wet and cold.

Next Saturday is a traditional half marathon which will be #28 and my first time on this beach course which is run on wooden boardwalk I believe. I've run on wooden boardwalk before and it's not the greatest feeling in the world.

Well hopefully I will have a deep sleep tonight.

[Watcher]

The devil was trying to convince me to stay in bed this morning at 530am. Oh sleep Watcher. Don't go to the gym Watcher. I have to admit it was feeling pretty good in that bed. So I dragged myself to the gym for 7am.

At 10am I was at the park for my 5 mile run with the scent of fresh manure in the air. Oh yes, another sign that Spring has arrived. Well I guess it's plausible that some attorneys dragged that stank with them from the courthouse.

Afterall, everyone knows NJ Family Court deals in manure. Hmm, but I'm pretty sure I saw some around the trees and plants. So I'm going with Spring.

Today I was able to run in shorts. On Tuesday I had my 3 mile run and it was most definitely Winter. So I went with black shorts and paired them with blue thigh length boxers. When running in shorts one side always rides high so it's important to have an eye catching colored thigh boxer underneath to complement the ensemble.

Also thigh boxers hug the thigh and thus bring attention to it. Well it's still to early to wear micro boxers. Those are best saved for the warmer temperatures when one is working on their tan lines.

It was in the 50's this morning so the rising temps are making it a little more enjoyable to run as I continue to use my Hoka One Arahi. I keep cleaning those suckers and those mud stains are never coming out of Blue Fog/ Plein Air.

At noon I had to pay my matrimonial reparations and then I went to work. Unfortunately she still hasn't remarried yet. 

So another month has concluded. March has seen a new record of 47,000+ calories burned for a 1500+ a day average. I also broke my monthly step total with 483,000+. Well it's been cold like I said. I ran 85 miles bringing me to 170 on the year so the running numbers should continue to increase now as it gets warmer.

I think I lost 1 ounce this month. So maybe I can lose 2 ounces in April. Although, April only has 30 days so it might be tough to reach that goal.

My winning percentage at Wordle has increased to 96% now. I admit, I didn't know how to play the game and lost the first two times I played. Today was a tough one and I had to go down to the final chance, lol. I think I'm on a 48 match win streak.

I have the gym tomorrow morning and then I should be ready to go on Saturday for the half marathon.

I was just thinking. I had a green Under Armour emblem on those shorts so it probably would have been better had I a pair of green boxers to match. That was a bit sloppy of me I must admit.

On Monday we practiced b!tch slap defensive measures at the gym. The instructor doesn't want us to be a victim.

Enjoy your day everyone

[JohnnyBravo]

On Monday we practiced b!tch slap defensive measures at the gym. The instructor doesn't want us to be a victim.

Congrats on being in the running to host the Oscars!!!!

[FaithWalker]

Last night I think I was in a light sleep. I clearly felt like I was awake and could hear every noise while I tossed and turned. At the same time I also remember having a few dreams so I must have slept.

This happens to me a lot!  I hate it, lol.  I just want to sleep deeply and peacefully!

[Watcher]

So my attorney contacted me today and she has a realtor that she uses and I gave her the okay. The contact always induces anxiety in my chest and stomach. I'm not quite sure why I'm always left feeling nervous afterwards.

I'm always thinking there is going to be a reprisal. Oh Watcher is forcing the home sale so now you will have to pay $10k for this or $10k for that, lol.

Oh I am not going to let you escape that easily kind of thing. That's a legit fear.

So she just added in the letter that I am not comfortable going to the home and since xW is the recipient of everything in the home it's her responsibility to clear out the house.

I'm not necessarily looking to be reimbursed for my support over payment. I just wanted to prove that I was adhering to the MSA and I didn't appreciate her accusation.

For the most part I am a deep sleeper. It will be interesting to see how I sleep tonight. The lawyer contact might foul me up. I have also found the night before a long race is always problematic like it was last week.

I slept good all week however it's probably because I tired myself out. I was off from work today. Now I did goto the gym in the morning but this technically is a rest day from running as I need to have legs for tomorrow so I probably didn't tire myself out enough for a good night's sleep.

We shall see.

[forthetrees]

Woo hoo step one having a realtor. Put your foot on the gas on that one!

[in it]

Hi Watcher,

I agree with FTT.  And there should be no conflict from the ex that it's her reponsibility  to clean out the house and shed.

Try some Magnesium. It will help you sleep and is good for you.It will also soothe your nervous system. Start with half a tablet before bedtime.

About fear. You have probably read or heard these things:.

FEAR can be False Evidence Appearing Real.
What we fear we bring to pass ( we don't want that)
 Courage is fear that has said it's prayers.

I understand if you are afraid, that's as real as it gets.
I'm not sure why contact with your lawyer would make you nervous. That's supposed to be someone who is on your side.
Breathe...and stay the course.

In It

[Watcher]

Hi FTT, Init

Well xW attorney told us to choose a realtor so now we have one. I'm hoping this is really about selling the home, however her lawyers letter did shift to the pension division which solely benefits xW. So time will tell if my 401k is their true objective to get her fast cash.

Well I did tell my attorney that I want to sell the home in "as is" condition. I haven't lived there on a regular basis since 2015. It could be opening Pandora's Box once the realtor sees what it looks like.

So when I filed for divorce I exposed what I was married to. So selling the house kind of exposes what it was like being married to her in a way. Maybe I don't want other people to see how bad it was I believe.

My attorney has drafted a response so I guess we will see how they respond now. I did tell my attorney that the home sale has priority over the pension division.

There were 17mph winds yesterday at 41° for the half marathon so it was winter cold. Maybe about 1,000 runners. There was also a simultaneous 5k that had a different start point. This race was originally scheduled for 2020.

So I ran this one 4 minutes slower than last week's half marathon. Wind makes it harder to run and since I was at the beach yesterday I'm sure there were gusts over 20 mph.

Yesterday my heart rate was above 153bpm for 98% of the run while during last week's run through farmland it was only above 153bpm for 70% of the run.

So a few minutes slower but the wind forced me to work harder. The course was mostly run on pavement. We were probably on the boardwalk for 4-5 miles and it was much flatter than last week's rolling country hills.

I was fine for 9 miles but then I had enough with miles 10 and 11. I run looking downwards which one is really not supposed to do because you then internalize. You feel the pain, the wind, and think about all your problems in life, lol.

The boardwalk planks were horizontal and they were actually making me dizzy so I had to look up. I didn't realize how drenched I was until I was walking around afterwards. My pants were actually dripping.

Well it has to get warmer eventually I guess. I am so done with wearing winter clothes while running.

Enjoy your day everyone

[Reinventing]

Watcher, glad you have a realtor and that you're selling "as is". Like InIT, I think she's really trying for you to come to the house so she can then claim that you were abusive to her.

You're being very smart to not set foot there and in this housing market, I hope the sale goes fast.

[in it]

That's what abusers do Reinventing. They'll set you up ( Come and get your stuff)  then turn the tables to make it out that you are the abusive one.(she'd probably call the cops again)
The only way Watcher would be able to do it is to take authorities with him. Even if he took a friend for a witness and to help, she would call the cops and tell them they are stealing stuff. Since she has it on paper it all belongs to her.
The stuff belongs to her it's up to her to figure out how to get rid of it. Lots of houses get sold without everything being cleaned out of them.

[Watcher]

Yesterday we had 21 mph winds at the beach for a 10 mile run so that's still basically winter. Cold, cold, cold. I ran into some deer 🦌 on the path and they didn't flinch. I always think they are going to charge at me as they didn't take their eyes off of me.

I also ran on Saturday so I'm currently standing at 207 cold miles thus far.

So my attorney called today and informed me that xW already contacted our realtor and wants the house shown which kind of surprised my attorney.

The realtor then called me today and asked how was he getting in the house. Who has the key ?

Well apparently xW did call him but she said I would have to do all the work since I am the one who wants the house sold.

See it wasn't as clear cut as my attorney believed.

So I explained to the realtor that I do not live in the home and haven't for almost 7 years and that xW resides in the home. Therefore the attorney's will have to figure out how the realtor is getting inside the home.

Why would I have a key ? LOL....I'm not quite sure how they are going to get this sold. For a minute I was hopeful until I talked to the realtor. I think they are used to the residing party who cooperates. I am the cliche man living outside the home so I'm of no help.

I go with the BD date and so does the court pretty much. The court recognizes the end of our marriage the first time she threw me out in Oct 2015. I just don't want to hear about any repairs that need to be made since I didn't,and don't, live there.

When my attorney seemed excited I thought to myself that xW was most likely having a manic episode. After I talked to the realtor I then confirmed that she is still not normal.

Well I hope they know what they are getting themselves into. IMO I think she is in mania and scared. I would be shocked if she were sincere with selling the home.

We shall see.

[MadLuv]

Wow, that is some crazy happening!!

[Thunder]

Watcher really just tell the realtor you want the house sold "as is" as you do not want to fix repairs she has created over the last 6 years you have been out of the house.

You just want it sold.   

[in it]

Hi Watcher,

Yep it''s time to get out the popcorn. Not your monkeys not your circus.

It's for lawyers and the realtor to deal with.

I hope the realtor has some experience selling property involved in a high conflict divorce. I'm sure realtors are used to sellers who do cooperate.

If anyone suggests to you any improvements or repairs that need to be made after the realtors initial walk through. Your answer needs to be a firm NO.

The house can be sold "as is".

This nightmare has to end.

In It

[Thunder]

New thread dear.   

[Watcher]

So the realtor contacted me today from inside the home as she let him in. He identified 4 major issues. He gave me his listing price and I'm really fine with anything, as long as, the mortgage balance is paid in full.

I will goto his office tomorrow to sign the paperwork and ask him some questions about the prospects of really successfully selling this home.

It felt like filing for divorce again. There's a reluctance but it has to be done. Then I had some anger about 2 of the issues, (bathroom, kitchen) because we had them newly installed when we purchased the home and she and her parents basically destroyed them.

Kind of fitting that she was left alone in the house of ruin.

Then I had some more anger because I thought about how she is going to walkaway with some nice equity based on the listing price. However, I know the listing price will be whittled down so maybe there will be no nice going away equity package for either one of us.

Then, lol, I thought, OMG what if there is not enough equity for her and the boys to find a place to live since she has ruined credit.

Then again, I thought, maybe she has a plan and does want to sell. Well you see why I run now, lol. There's a lot of stress all around. Why should I care whether she wants to sell or not ? However, it's a perplexing question that I keep asking myself.

My IC used to tell me that xW had to destroy everything. She always told me the house would be lost. Maybe even her job one day. Pure self destruction.

It makes me wonder what is next. Marriage gone. House gone. Well the realtor might tell me she is not normal. IDK. See, I think I would have a problem if she were normal. It's easier to accept abnormal.

So hopefully the realtor will not be all doom and gloom tomorrow.

Well I'm off to bed and I did clear this from my head space hours ago. So we shall see what happens.

New thread: https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11924.0