[UrsaMajor]

Interesting, W texted me today asking me to look for her birth certificate, and then a few minutes later that she found it. Not sure if I should just ignore this, or reply with a thumbs up as a "smart contact."

I can't imagine what she'd need it for, but then again she may want me to wonder that. (I don't think I've ever needed mine.)

Rule of 3's

Someone is dying/bleeding, etc. - Respond in 3 minutes
Critical stuff regarding kids - 3 hours
Routine legal/school or other stuff regarding kids, finances, etc., - 3 days
Idle chatter - 3 months

"Can you looks for my birth certificate" falls into the lower categories... Are you her secretary?
"Oh I found it" falls into the "no need to respond at all" category.... 

[JohnnyBravo]

Just saw your "rule of threes" post on pacman's thread too. Thanks! (I thumbs upped yesterday anyway, don't meme beat me!)

[UrsaMajor]

Just saw your "rule of threes" post on pacman's thread too. Thanks! (I thumbs upped yesterday anyway, don't meme beat me!)

You KNOW I can't let that one go by....

[JohnnyBravo]

If I had Photoshop skills, I'd remake an MC Hammer album cover into "Please Ursa Don't Meme 'em!"

[JohnnyBravo]

Random note: People have posted here about the Love Languages book. I was cleaning out old emails today, and found one from W in 2014 where she took the Love Language quiz and said we should know this about each other. I took it as well. We were both "Quality Time!" Maybe that's why we travel well together. Her second was Words of Affirmation, and my second was Acts of Service. I completely forgot about that, and wish I had written it down somewhere. Funny how we had made that effort and fell away from it. With any luck, we'll get to use it again in the future.

She also had sent an email that year apologizing for how messed up her family is. (I remember the specific incident that this refers to.) I always took her family's behavior in stride and tried to be supportive, since I knew it wasn't her fault.

Makes me sad to remember that she really did put effort into our relationship. It's a good reminder that work has to be continuous.

JB

[HeavenlyFocus]

She also had sent an email that year apologizing for how messed up her family is. (I remember the specific incident that this refers to.) I always took her family's behavior in stride and tried to be supportive, since I knew it wasn't her fault.

Makes me sad to remember that she really did put effort into our relationship. It's a good reminder that work has to be continuous.

JB

I feel the same way JB.  My W was truly a lovely person who persevered through her own difficult life circumstances.   I still have compassion for her while still knowing I need to detach to let her figure things out.   

HF

[JohnnyBravo]

MONKEYBRAIIIIIIIIIIN!!!!!

I was headed to work this morning and an Uber passed me going into the neighborhood. That's about the right time for W to go to the airport and go to her hometown for Halloween. I wonder if those were the detailed plans she posted to FB last week. At least she'd be spending Halloween with her friends rather than going out by herself here. Heck, she may be looking for a place to live there, too. It's a bummer, but she'd eventually figure out that she was miserable there when we left because her friends wouldn't arrange activities with her.

The other downside is this may energize her to go back to the lawyer when she gets back. That seemed to coincide before.

Interestingly, RCR sent out an email update today that MLC limerance can be with an idea instead of a person. That would certainly fit this whole thing.

Oh well, onward we go.

JB

[marvin4242]

Well I am sorry you had that moment, but its great you notice them when they come. I had a lot of those, took a while to train myself to just turn away and stop thinking about any of it.

Keep doing your thing, time helps.

[JohnnyBravo]

Thanks, Marvin. Even though I recognize these situations as beyond my control, I'm still a ways from detaching/accepting them. The emotional hit isn't as strong as it once was, but is definitely there and lingers. Even though I know it does me no good to be anxious, or to know or think about what's going on, I still feel those things pretty strongly.

[marvin4242]

And they will be for a while, do not beat yourself up if you are. Just observe it, note it, feel it, and remind yourself this is normal. It is normal when we are hit by an emotional truck. I will tell you that even five years out my wife texted something that has me monkey braining a little bit. So its not just you.