[JohnnyBravo]

Boy, this afternoon went downhill in the emotional sense. Good cry on the way home and a little bit after, around missing her so much, and wondering how she could do this. (I know the answer to part 2.) And this isn't even a real holiday! I think it's assuming W is in her home town partying with friends, and the enabler, having a good time. Even if she's really running from depression.

At least I'm having lunch with a friend tomorrow, I've got my "music gig" on Saturday, and I have to get ready for my vacation ride. Traveling without W is going to be tough.

Also watching RCR's Q&A video. It's good and bad; she's so supportive, but it sucks to hear what people are going through. Sometimes I wonder if I'm spending too much time looking at this stuff. I'm not sure if it's making me more depressed, or giving me false hope.

Got an email that insurance paid out on Tuesday, which seems to be W's doctor day. Hopefully it's just menopause stuff (vs. UTI or STD stuff). That was also our anniversary. It really didn't feel like an outstanding day, maybe because the holidays are coming up. I went out for a quick dinner, but didn't really do anything else. On the plus side, we're still married (legally) at the five-year mark.

I guess I'll find out tomorrow or Monday if my lawyer has spent more time on this. But, if anything big had happened, I assume they would have called.

Thanks, all.

[Imgood]

Hang in there JB, you got this! I hope you enjoyed lunch with your friend today and have a great music “gig” on Saturday! Take it one day at a time!

[JohnnyBravo]

Saw this in today's Sunday funnies. If I could invent the LBS monkey-brain vacuum, I'd be a gazillionaire.

And still monkey-brain.



JB

[Nas]

How was the gig 🎶 JB? 

I know it’s hard, but try not to think the worst. People go to the doctor for a million different reasons, especially at our age
Is there a way you can stop getting any notifications when insurance covers something for her?

[JohnnyBravo]

Thanks, Nas. I wrote my thoughts out to a friend of mine here, and seeing it in print made me realize I was a bit overboard. I still want a brain vacuum, though! (I thought that was pretty funny.)

I'm better with the insurance notifications now than I was when this all started. At least I know W is going to a doctor. And even though she likely wouldn't admit it or see it that way right now, there's a subconscious connection and benefit to her there. Funny thing is, I tried to get her to at least get a physical for several years, but she'd never go. "We have good insurance, I'm paying into it, use it!"

I think our gig went pretty well yesterday. It was a little awkward because the drums were set up for the kids, and I didn't have time to make too many adjustments. I dropped a stick once, which I've done a lot at home but never in the group; fortunately I caught it before it rolled off the snare, and I only lost one hit. Recovery is good practice. A friend of mine from work came, and she thought we sounded good. Although, I think we need to slow down the James Brown a bit. The other songs are pretty slow, so maybe we're over-compensating.

Hope you all are well,

JB

[Nas]

That’s great, writing it out can sometimes help you release it and/or gain a new perspective.
There is a benefit to her right now of having access to insurance (that’s a massive benefit but you’re right that she’s likely not seeing it) but the more important thing is what’s the benefit to you of knowing if or when she uses it. Just something to think about.

The music sounds fun!

[JohnnyBravo]

I'm still on my motorcycle trip.  Had dinner in a ghost town steakhouse tonight and heard an inspiring story told at one of the other tables:

Someone had an uncle George and aunt Josephine, who were both loved by the family.  They befriended someone named Del. I'm guessing this was in the '80s. Unfortunately,  Josephine became enamored of Del, and divorced George to marry Del. George never stopped loving Josephine. Every year on their wedding anniversary,  George would call Josephine, say "Happy anniversary, babe!" and hang up. Eventually after some years, Del died, and George and Josephine wound up together again.

W and I used to call each other "babe" as well, although with caller ID on cell phones, I don't think the anniversary calls would work the same these days!  I just found this to be a nice story.

Cheers, all!

[marvin4242]

JB I am curious why you found this to be a nice story? To me it sounded like a bit of a strange story. Thoughts that came up for me were what kind of relationship did George and Josephine had that it could be discarded just because someone else happened to come by. Why did George keep calling someone who clearly devalued him and his love through actions (and I assume words ) to say happy anniversary? Sounds like a form of passive aggressive intrusion and can’t imagine it was welcomed and appreciated.

It also surprises me that then later once Del died George was happy to be a fallback, a second choice. What did he do with those precious years of his life besides waiting to wish happy anniversary for something that no longer required one? And does this mean Josephine could simply be with whoever happens to be the “best” choice at the moment? Seems precarious.

My point is we all live with this kind of stories that we are told. Whether this is an unexamined notion of “romantic love,” heroic stories about suffering in waiting, or as in the movies the grand reunion that just simply happens without any consequences or years of hard work. I am not saying that it’s not possible for people to end up back together, but I fear it is sometimes oversimplified into this kind of story.

[Nas]

I had so many questions about this story but my thoughts were along the same lines as Marvin. Why would George call every year  - and then to just say 3 words and hang up before the person on the other end could say anything? Borderline stalking imo.

(The whole story sent me off in the direction of an episode of Dateline. I had a little fun filling in the backstories and in my version Del died under mysterious circumstances, but whether Josephine or George is the culprit has yet to be discovered… 😉)

Hope you’re enjoying your trip, it sounds super interesting. What kind of motorcycle are you on?

[xyzcf]

I am glad that you are having a good motorcycle trip. Enjoy!

Posting the story you heard about George and Josephine, something that you heard in your travels was perfectly fine.

There are actually quite a few threads that people have contributed to over time posting such stories. I still appreciate hearing of couples who found one another again even years later.

I am not sure why this is being "analyzed" as to your motives for posting it.

Here are the links to several other reconnection/reconciliation stories in case you have not seen them before.


http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=237.0


http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=1756.0

https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=5763.60

Links to reconnection stories:

https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=1872.0