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Author Topic: My Story Sometimes your heart needs more time

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My Story Sometimes your heart needs more time
#150: February 06, 2022, 01:14:30 PM

Your H and mine have so many similarities it’s crazy. He also said when he moved OW in that it was better than being alone. At least he wouldn’t kill himself. He also has stated he hid behind a fake self confidence while always feeling less than. Also, same with work. He got very high up, but then young guns coming in with new college knowledge and making him feel insecure.

Wise words from Hearts Blessings ( may she RIP)

If you want to end the marriage, or if you want to stand and wait to see if the marriage eventually comes back together, those are your choices. However, he will do what he think he needs to do, when he thinks he needs to do it, and again this has nothing to with you, and everything to do with him.

This is an emotional, mental, and spiritual battle fought on the inside of the mid-life spouse, and until he begins resolving his issues, things will remain confused.

You would need to begin examining yourself–when he put you on this road that was not of your own making, he made this about you, just like his crisis is all about him.

Learn to detach and emotionally distance from his drama–it is the only way you’re going to be able to cope. I also understand that you’re grieving a marriage that was sent to the death in his mind when he turned on you.

Only time will tell whether he will begin trying again with you or not. All you can do is learn to live life for yourself, while keeping the door slightly open for his possible return, if indeed, you choose to do that.
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« Last Edit: February 06, 2022, 01:27:43 PM by TornupNOMORE »
H-54 W-58 at BD2 M 7/6/91 Kids d-30 s-28 d-14 (dies 2009)
2013- moments of disconnect
Aug 2016 promo requires travel   
Oct 2017-total disconnect
Jan 2018-I force moved out
Mar 2018- BD1 found old phone 3 EA in 2017-H  agrees to therapy
EA ow1-49,  EA-ow2 57, (EA- ow3-58 not reciprocated by ow)
Sept ‘18  2nd Home in new state bought for job
Oct 2018 H moves home
Oct 2020 BD2 does not return home from B trip H move to 2nd home.OW4
Dec 10 ‘20 div filed/H buy prom ring 12/12
Feb 10 ‘21  div final
March ‘21  H & OW on vaca get secretly engaged
July 2021  married OW(find out May‘22)
Oct 2021   XH moves in OW(already married,tells nobody)& SD1
Feb 2022  XH is fired -vanisher
Aug 2022. XH moves in 2nd SD2
Dec 2022. XH starts communication after 1Omths
Dec-current  frequent communication

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Sometimes your heart needs more time
#151: February 07, 2022, 12:59:35 AM
New Thread time

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Me - 59, xW - 51
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 15, D - 12
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019
Moved on in life

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