I think we all have to learn to restructure our sense of family and build new traditions for traditional holidays, Pac. And tbh most of us, for a couple of years, limp through it until we find a new way of doing things.
I lost my family, in different ways, around BD. I have no kids, no siblings, not much wider family...so you are already one step up on me lol. It’s ok to not know quite how to do the ‘new normal’ for a while. And tbh covid helps bc everyone is struggling a bit right now. I ignored Christmas like a sobbing Grinch for two years, nibbled on it lightly for the next two with slightly gritted teeth. And this year my Christmas plans, in so far as any of us can make firm plans right now, are low key and based on new friendships. A carol service with one chum. Wine and nibbles and Midnight Mass with another. A Christmas Day visit to a family who are having their first Christmas after the father/husband died when I will play games with the kids, let hamsters crawl over me and eat party snacks chosen by a ten year old while giving my friend the slack of not being the only adult in the house. Turkey sandwiches, gifted by another chum from their humongously large turkey her husband insists on buying every year, on Boxing Day curled up with the cat and a good book. A cinema visit with another chum. It isn’t how it was, that’s true, but it is enjoyable in a different way.
I’m sorry that this first Christmas might feel hard, but do what feels most comfortable for you and know that it will get better with time.
T: 18 M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here
https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg